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What do you get if you cross potatoes with a robot?
OPTIMASH PRIME.

Bad joke thread. Go.
(I helped save b3ta! WHARRGARBL, Mon 27 Apr 2009, 20:59, archived)
I only just got here.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Mon 27 Apr 2009, 21:00, archived)
"Knock knock"
"Who's there?"
"Go fuck yourself."
That film is much better than it should be.
(I helped save b3ta! Zuowan, Mon 27 Apr 2009, 21:00, archived)
Arnold Schwarzenegger didn't get any Easter eggs, didn't get to eat roast lamb and generally had a rubbish bank holiday weekend.
Someone asked him if he thought he could ever come to like this time of year again. He replied, "hasta la vista, baby".
(I helped save b3ta! LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Mon 27 Apr 2009, 21:00, archived)
Christ on a bike
WIN
(I helped save b3ta! wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Mon 27 Apr 2009, 21:28, archived)
Poor Rita :(
*flicks over for ashes to ashes*
(I helped save b3ta! Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Mon 27 Apr 2009, 21:01, archived)

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(I helped save b3ta! well, Mon 27 Apr 2009, 21:01, archived)
Galaxy FM, Real Radio and The Pulse walk into a bar.
The barman refuses to serve them, on account of them being radio stations anthropomorphised by a writer struggling to invent a punchline that would work in such a surreal setting.
(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 27 Apr 2009, 21:01, archived)
Alternatively:
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Scouting For Girls. Knock knock.
Who's there?
Scouting For Girls. Knock knock.
Who's there?
Scouting For Girls. Knock knock.
Who's there?
Scouting For Girls. Knock knock.
Who's there?
Scouting For Girls. Knock knock.
Who's there?
Scouting For Girls. Knock knock.
Who's there?
Scouting For Girls. Knock knock.
(etc.)
(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 27 Apr 2009, 21:02, archived)
The second single ran like this.
Who's there?
Scuoting For Grils. Not Scouting For Girls at all, oh no... Knock knock.
Who's there? (etc.)
(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 27 Apr 2009, 21:07, archived)
In case you haven't already, check out "Scouting for Talent"..
www.myspace.com/stephenfrizfrizzle
(__, Mon 27 Apr 2009, 21:08, archived)
'Now that's what I call cockney' is ace

(I helped save b3ta! Bobson I who milks the milkmen?, Mon 27 Apr 2009, 21:16, archived)
You should see it live

(__, Mon 27 Apr 2009, 21:19, archived)
What's the tune from about 0:40 onwards?

(I helped save b3ta! Bobson I who milks the milkmen?, Mon 27 Apr 2009, 21:22, archived)
'Talk' by Coldplay

(__, Mon 27 Apr 2009, 21:25, archived)

'Talk' by Coldplay "Computer Love" by Kraftwerk
(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 27 Apr 2009, 21:27, archived)
And the Jeremy Kyle theme tune, oddly

(__, Mon 27 Apr 2009, 21:29, archived)
I managed about 17 seconds
before wrenching my speakers off the desk and hurling them towards a vat of readily-prepared boiling oil.
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 27 Apr 2009, 21:26, archived)
I like that a bit too much you scary bastard

(I helped save b3ta! Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Mon 27 Apr 2009, 21:16, archived)
Oh, that's one of your creations?
I knew someone on here had done it, but I'd forgotten who... I like it.
(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 27 Apr 2009, 21:17, archived)
I noticed Century radio had changed it's name

(I helped save b3ta! Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Mon 27 Apr 2009, 21:03, archived)
What's Mr T's favourite yoghurt?
A petit filous!
(I helped save b3ta! ArthurTheRat, Mon 27 Apr 2009, 21:02, archived)
Hahahahahaha.

(I helped save b3ta! LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Mon 27 Apr 2009, 21:02, archived)
*smirk*

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 27 Apr 2009, 21:05, archived)
pfft!

(I helped save b3ta! masakatsu best of all the burger meats, Mon 27 Apr 2009, 21:05, archived)
lizzie says stop stealing her jokes :D

(I helped save b3ta! Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Mon 27 Apr 2009, 21:10, archived)
>:)

(I helped save b3ta! ArthurTheRat, Mon 27 Apr 2009, 21:14, archived)
No.
I'm going to put on my creature comforts DVD and read about hummingbirds.
(I helped save b3ta! TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Mon 27 Apr 2009, 21:03, archived)
The aztecs used to trap them inside hollow branches as sex toys.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 27 Apr 2009, 21:05, archived)
Sounds worth a try

(I helped save b3ta! TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Mon 27 Apr 2009, 21:10, archived)
A stereotype walks into a venue and asks the owner for a cliché.
Why the unusual physical characteristic? Asks the owner.
Because of an implied breakdown in a familial relationship, quips the stereotype.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 27 Apr 2009, 21:03, archived)
Alistair Darling says we all have to make sacrifices,
surely Satanism isn't the answer?
(I helped save b3ta! masakatsu best of all the burger meats, Mon 27 Apr 2009, 21:04, archived)
Why did so many Black American Soldiers die in Vietnam?
Because whenever someone shouted 'GET DOWN!' they all stood up and started dancing
(I helped save b3ta! Bobson I who milks the milkmen?, Mon 27 Apr 2009, 21:06, archived)
Not suggesting I've heard that joke before
but, well, y'know...
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 27 Apr 2009, 21:11, archived)
Well, you know, it is a 'shit joke' thread, not a 'new awesome funny joke'

(I helped save b3ta! Bobson I who milks the milkmen?, Mon 27 Apr 2009, 21:14, archived)
Damn, I thought i'd posted it more than that
i'll have to post it more often
(I helped save b3ta! Bobson I who milks the milkmen?, Mon 27 Apr 2009, 21:15, archived)
I've got an excellent stand up routine about death I thought of last nigth while in bed

(I helped save b3ta! magnum, Mon 27 Apr 2009, 21:07, archived)
How many Vietnam veterans does it take to change a lightbulb?
YOU DON'T KNOW MAN, YOU WEREN'T THERE!
(I helped save b3ta! Bobson I who milks the milkmen?, Mon 27 Apr 2009, 21:07, archived)
How many women on PMS does it take to change a lightbulb?
Three.
Why three?

I just DOES, okay?!? God, you're a moron.
(I helped save b3ta! setimret likes his metaphors mixed, not stirred, Mon 27 Apr 2009, 21:09, archived)
What did the mother buffalo say to her child as he left for school?
...Bison!
(I helped save b3ta! Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Mon 27 Apr 2009, 21:07, archived)
*slap*

(I helped save b3ta! Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Mon 27 Apr 2009, 21:11, archived)
knock knock,
who's there?
BOOBIESH HAHAAHAH
(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 27 Apr 2009, 21:14, archived)
Your mum's minge

(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 27 Apr 2009, 21:24, archived)
like two thick strawberry-coloured pancakes flopped onto a too-small plate

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 27 Apr 2009, 21:27, archived)
Ha ha ha
bleargh.
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 27 Apr 2009, 21:29, archived)