Whilst we're in an 'other b3tans' sort of mood;
If we were all varieties of crisps, what crisps would other b3tans be, and why?
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:32, archived)

Jam flavoured...
I like teh jam...
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:33, archived)

you'd be a massive hula hoop
because then I could use you as a wanking aid.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:34, archived)

You would be Meat Pie with Sauce flavoured crisps
(yes, that is a crisp flavour) because it is the oddest flavour, yet it is very likeable.
(s0WmVHAwZgpG, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:34, archived)

what sort of sauce?
what sort of meat?
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:35, archived)

The only answer to both is
man
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:36, archived)

Beef,
tomato sauce. The only real type of pie.
(s0WmVHAwZgpG, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:39, archived)

For the board as a whole
it would have to be something very odd, salty and incredibly more-ish.

Badgers vag flavour ?
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:35, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/616336
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:34, archived)

You'd be Pralines and dick:)
I luff you
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:34, archived)

You'd be grilled steak
flavour McCoys, but I don't know why.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:36, archived)

Well that does sound rather manly:)


*minces*
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:38, archived)

As a member of the maize based snack minority,
I take great offence to this post.

Anyway, you would be one of those weird, fruit-flavoured crisps, that never really caught on. Woat Gorrier would be a 10p pack of Space Raiders.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:36, archived)

You just wish
that I was raiding your space with my pickled onion essence dont you ?

I think you'd be a bag of Kettle chips, overpriced, overcooked and overflavoured.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:37, archived)

And from Bowthorpe in Norwich?

( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:41, archived)

I'm going to go home,
massage acetic acid into my ring, and think of you.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:41, archived)

Whatever turns you on
as you know, on b3ta we're tolerant of all sorts of deviant, spacker, darkie and poof.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:43, archived)

Ok,
I'll think of WoatGorrier, the deviant, spacker, darkie poof, as I massage my puckered arse.

Bugger, now my desk is rising...
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:48, archived)

Do you sit at
a really small plastic Fisher Price desk then ?

Because I'm sure your little "mouses arm holding a malteser" couldnt lift a real desk.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:51, archived)

Shh!
It took me ages to get the internet through the Speak'n'Spell.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:53, archived)

Pffft
Are you moving to Luton to get further away from me ?
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:54, archived)

Yes.
I thought I'd better get out, before you started to bring houses prices down any further.

It was that, or tell the police that you were responsible for all the dog corpses that litter the highways. I'm many things, but not a grass.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:59, archived)

bastard
just when I'd alsmost tracked down your exact location......
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 15:03, archived)

Lu - salt and vinegar
Mykey - Marmite
Dekazer - lentil
Fenris - lavender
sp3cial p3rson - cheese
the mighty badger - ale
baldmonkey - turquoise

And Robin would be instant coffee.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:36, archived)

You would be
Cheese and Peas because it rhymes so goodly.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:38, archived)

What about goat and stoat?
Or nickel and pickle?
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:41, archived)

That would just be silly.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:43, archived)

Fairly traded instant coffee?*


*God i cant help myself
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:40, archived)

Go and stand in the corner
No, I meant definitely an acquired taste, but well worth it on those occasions you really need his talents.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:43, archived)

talents arse
(s0WmVHAwZgpG, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:47, archived)

Lavender?!
You cunt!
( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:42, archived)

I think he just called you
a scented nonce.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:44, archived)

Hehehe
How about a Hula Hoop then?
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:45, archived)

Yeah a beef & mustard Hula Hoop is about butch
enough with over-stating it.

*glares*

You'd be a fucking Twiglet anyway.
( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:48, archived)

Best,
Comeback. Ever.

*snigger* 'you'd be a Twiglet', genius
( Dekazer, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:52, archived)

To be honest
you'd be Ham and Mustard Brannigan's. British to the core, yet modern and with more than a slight hint of excitement.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:52, archived)

Ok, now I love you
and I elevate your status to Paprika Pringles with a big tub of full-fat hummus for dipping.
( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:54, archived)

Real men,
make their own hummus.

By "real men," I mean closet-metros, like me, obviously.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 15:05, archived)

I so wish I could do that
but home made hummus looks like it's already been eaten once by a cat already
( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 15:11, archived)

Mine always comes out a bit firm,
but it tastes okay (plenty of garlic, lemon juice, and top quality olive oil - add some skinned, roasted red peppers for a real treat!). The trouble with comparing it to shop bought hummus, is that that only has about 3 chickpeas per pack.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 15:14, archived)

Surely, Lu would be
Lemon and Scampi flavoured Nik-Naks.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:47, archived)

*sniffs fingers*
I wish.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:52, archived)

Roast hedgehog.
Speaking of food...
(Small Beer, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:37, archived)

I think
Georide Al would be a cheeky Ham and pickle
lbft would be a lovely prawn cocktail
Jadeviper would have to be a cheesy wotsit
Woat would be a roast beef and mustard
Mykey could be a quaver, all floaty light
Flappers would definitely have to be a good solid Walkers Ready Salted.

I could continue but I fear I may offend.
( Dekazer, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:38, archived)

You'd be a bag of Frazzles,
but I really can't explain why.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:40, archived)

It's the hair
needs more conditioner you see.
( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:42, archived)

I must get an awful long way,
when I sleep walk. All the way up to Scotland, spy on Dekazer, back home and all with no memory, except the subconcious image of a bag of Frazzles.

Now I have The Fear!
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:45, archived)

Dekazer, don't believe him.
His mangoo is not good for your hair.
(s0WmVHAwZgpG, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:45, archived)

*lower lip wobbles*
But, but he saaaiiid *sobs*

Actually, a Home Ec teacher at school once tried to demonstrate to us that spermicidal foam makes a lovely handcream. It's not such a great leap..
( Dekazer, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:49, archived)

God dammit >_<

I'm working on the "good for the skin" approach too.
( Fenris temporary Lazarus, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:49, archived)

You would be a wheat crunchy.
A bacon one. Because it would be a phallic symbol of the strap on you were wearing in my dream last night.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:42, archived)

If you want
a crunchy wheaty eaty, eaty a wheat crunchieeeee.
( Dekazer, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:52, archived)

Only people with very small, hollow winkies
would view a wheat crunchie as a symbol of their phallus.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:56, archived)

Your point being...

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 4 Jul 2005, 14:59, archived)