I just gave somebody completely the wrong directions by accident.
He was already on the correct road and I sent him somewhere else.

I feel silly now :(

When was the last time you ruined someone's day by accident?
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:37, archived)

Was it an Air France pilot?

( thealternativefact, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:38, archived)

have I missed a hilarious BBC news link?

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:38, archived)

Possibly
A whole plane has disappeared
( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:39, archived)

Oh yeah.
I heard that on the news this morning actually.

I'm just not with it today, evidently.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:39, archived)

So not that hilarious, really.

( thealternativefact, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:39, archived)

You sure?!? I heard it was only the first 1/4 of it

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:40, archived)

THAT WAS THE BIT WITH THE FOOD

( thealternativefact, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:40, archived)

PUGS!
b3ta.com/board/9484332
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:41, archived)

NOT TRUE!
snot true :'(

Your dog's farts smell. Pugs farts smell of sherbet.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:44, archived)

That's why they are all of the wrong.
My dog's farts stink of shit like they are supposed to.
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:45, archived)

Pugs are shitter than me.

( WHARRGARBL, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 13:10, archived)

I heard it was a plane full of kids and supermatt has them
TRUFAX
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:40, archived)

yep
www.b3ta.com/talk/6189493
(PsychoChomp, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:39, archived)

Oh god I once got asked directions by an ambulance driver,
and I didn't know the way, I felt a bit guilty about that. Someone could have DIED.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:38, archived)

The ambulance driver should have been given a map

( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:39, archived)

I'm surprised he didn't have one of those GPS thingummies,
it wasn't that long ago.
Although they do have a habit of sending you the stupid way, or into canals.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:40, archived)

Or maybe they weren't actually paramedics,
but people using the ambulance as a getaway vehicle for a robery.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:44, archived)

They were wearing wizards cloaks, now I come to think of it.

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:45, archived)

Are you refering to that 'little incident'
at the playground yesterday?
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:39, archived)

I let a swinging door close behind me in a hospital once.
It slammed right into an elderly man and knocked him down, shattering his wrist.

I didn't see him. :(
( The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:39, archived)

Well, I found out last night that I sort of ruined someone's relationship last year
after I told a girl that her 'boyfriend' of sorts had been asking me 'where are all the sluts?', when it turns out he wasn't her boyfriend at all, it was his mate. I'd got them confused. Oops.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:39, archived)

ha ha

(PsychoChomp, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:40, archived)

Were you trying to break them up so you could be the 'get over diddle'?

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:41, archived)

No, but I think I did get my current girlfriend after I convinced her that her then boyfriend was a raging woofter.

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:45, archived)

I'm going to steal your girlfriend.

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:52, archived)

I believe the customary 'fight for the girl' tradition is
willy battles in a public shower.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:53, archived)

scrap that, I'm stealing your girlfriend's boyfriend.

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:54, archived)

Did you know this because you were fucking him?

( The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 13:04, archived)

I've given the wrong directions to people before, usually by complete accident
But about 20 years ago when I worked in a Homebase store, somebody asked me where the toilets were. I completely misunderstood their question, and I directed them to the aisle where the bathroom suites were on display.

I've also been witness to one of the trainee managers trying to fish out a stool from one of the display toilets.
( turb0t, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:40, archived)

Oh god,
are there actually real people who think the toilets on display are plumbed in?
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:42, archived)

And who don't mind the lack of cubicle.
Or paper.
( thealternativefact, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:43, archived)

Possibly the same people who think it's ok to leave used sanitary towels in changing rooms

( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:44, archived)

We all know they're meant to go in your pockets.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:44, archived)

Naughty.

( The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:46, archived)

We are recording tonight.
Can't say what. Secret.
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:49, archived)

Who? What? Where? When? Why?
Can I watch?
( The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:52, archived)

see gaz

( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:54, archived)

And you were reminded of this by the used sanitary towel comment?
Oh dear...
( thealternativefact, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:52, archived)

Pound says it's Yoko Ono

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:54, archived)

£2 says it's not John Lennon.

( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:59, archived)

Oh, I must get some new tyres for my car.

( turb0t, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 13:00, archived)

I got it.

( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 13:02, archived)

I /think/ I get it.

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 13:06, archived)

I don't.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 13:10, archived)

here
www2.yokohama-online.com/gb/
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 13:11, archived)

Yes.
Yes I was.
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:55, archived)

Hello, did the puppy explode?

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 13:09, archived)

I'm just clearing up the bits.

( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 13:12, archived)

Silly puppy.
He's lucky Biff didn't eat him for nicking his grub.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 13:12, archived)

or block the sinks with paper towels.
I can't believe this happens in the toilets of fancy bars.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:49, archived)

Ughhhh

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 13:05, archived)

the dog once found a used tampon in a bus shelter :(
fortunately, he dropped it without argument. who takes their tampon out at a bus shelter and leaves it behind, anyway?
( spacefish bong!, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 13:09, archived)

Well you can't have a sneaky finger until the bus arrives with a tampon in, can you.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 13:16, archived)

I'm guessing it was a child that did it.
or maybe a senile old cunt.
( turb0t, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:46, archived)

maybe that little girl who was on You've Been Framed,
who won a prize for being funny and cute.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:55, archived)

ha ha ha
*clicks*
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:48, archived)

People keep asking me for directions to places I've never heard of, and don't seem to believe me that I'm not from here.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:43, archived)

The thing is, I'd walked past the place he wanted to go to 3 times today.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:44, archived)

I get asked for directions for places that are very near where I live,
and I still don't know. I basically know the street I live on, and that's pretty much it.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:44, archived)

Yeah, this.
I don't know any street names. I grew up in the country, I'm shit at telling people how to get anywhere in towns.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 13:04, archived)

I don't know the estate at all,
other than how to get from my house to the main road and how to get to the park where I walk the dog.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 13:07, archived)

People are constantly asking me for directions
I think I'm starting too look a little too local.
( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:45, archived)

I did know somebody who was only able to give directions
providing there were pubs on the way that he could use as navigation references.
If going from A to B there were two possible routes, one of which was a straight road, 1 mile long but without any pubs on it, and the other route was a twisty turny route, with pubs on every corner, making your entire journey length 4 miles, he could only direct you the long way, via all the pubs.
( turb0t, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:59, archived)

My uncle is like that.
Handily, he lives in Dublin, so the pub route is often the quickest route also.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 13:06, archived)

Back in 1998
when I was a IT consultant for the Royal mail in Reading, I was given a load of servers to install in a post office in Swindon, and I was also given a post van to transport the computers in.
Neither myself, not the other person I was with knew exactly where the Swindon post office was. We stopped and asked for directions, to which the majority of responses were "No wonder our fucking post gets lost".
( turb0t, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:49, archived)

genuine lol

( Gooch Is neither here nor there, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:55, archived)

haha

( thealternativefact, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:57, archived)

I never ruin anyone's day by accident

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 13:05, archived)

Lolololol

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 13:07, archived)

lololololololol
oh Esme, I'm a terrible person aren't I?
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 13:08, archived)

You are, I don't know how I put up with you.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 13:10, archived)

I sometimes think the internet was invented just so I could annoy and upset people

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 13:18, archived)

If it wasn't, it should have been.
It's like it was purpose built.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 13:22, archived)

I shot them up a bit with guns

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 13:07, archived)

I used the needle before they did and didn't realise I had AIDS.

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 13:07, archived)

Some kid was wandeirng around in town
So I burnt his neck
( Theoban What of it, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 13:09, archived)