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Hello you fatty fatty moan moans.
I've been for a haircut. This will no doubt now lead to jokes that are in no way ever repeated. As I only I, JMG repeats stuff on here. Repeats.
Now before we all fall out with me at high speed because a girl you fancy on the internet once spoke to me on here. Let's for one moment remember what's really important here.
Me.

Now, as b3ta's leader. I can't help but keep an eye on current internet events like some kind of big brother watching over you.
Hopefully as the day goes by, I'll have used bullying and corrective thought to better you people in some way.
I don't have a shit podcast to promote.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:01, archived)
I'm going to get some Weetabix, then have a shower
PARTY TIME.
(I helped save b3ta! Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:02, archived)
bet you can't eat weetabix in the shower

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:03, archived)
i need a bit of a trim jammers,
my lustrous mane is making too many women swoon and it's become dangerous
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:02, archived)
You should keep away from the side of the roads for two reasons!
1) Women could faint at the wheel of on-coming vehicles.
2) Women drivers.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:04, archived)
sage advice
i'll have to be ferried about everywhere in a fancy car with tinted windows from now on
for the good of the nation!
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:05, archived)
Another day of excellent advice.

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:06, archived)
*firm handshake*

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:13, archived)
What do you believe to be the recent big b3ta event?

(PsychoChomp, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:03, archived)
Dinner.

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:04, archived)
i think i'll cut the grass today
OUTSIDE
(I helped save b3ta! Lightguy hail satan, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:03, archived)
*Firm handshakes*

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:04, archived)
Hello

(I helped save b3ta! GrandmaOfShoes, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:03, archived)
I need a haircut.

(I helped save b3ta! GrandmaOfShoes, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:04, archived)
*Double tens up top. Followed by appropriate nodding and the opening of a scrapbook depicting recent victories in the former Eastrern Block.*

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:05, archived)
*impromptu barbecue, topless entry rules, clicky fingers and appropriate refreshing drinks on the patio 10s*

(I helped save b3ta! GrandmaOfShoes, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:07, archived)
Pimm's and Lemonade?

(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:08, archived)
warm newcy brown.

(I helped save b3ta! GrandmaOfShoes, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:09, archived)
actually probably Gin and Tonic.

(I helped save b3ta! GrandmaOfShoes, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:11, archived)
mmmmm

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:09, archived)
add a double vodka to that and you've go a tasty drink

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:11, archived)
JMG is really just Mykey's comedy account
It's true, I heard it on the radio.
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:04, archived)
OH BOUNCY FLOUNCY INTERNET!
Why must thy be linked one's majesty?!
:(
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:06, archived)
I am contemplating shaving my nuts etc
the relief from crotch sweating may even outweigh the stubble itch in a few days
(I helped save b3ta! Gooch Is neither here nor there, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:04, archived)
Noooo, it's supposed to be a VERY bad idea.

(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:05, archived)
Ladies like the crotch sweat
They like a well-lubricated set of testes
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:07, archived)
*takes note*

(I helped save b3ta! Gooch Is neither here nor there, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:08, archived)
Because when they're engaging in the act of lovemaking
But only when they're really enjoying it, you can enjoy the Forbidden Pleasure, of getting a spoon and tucking your balls up their bottom. They'll go crazy for it.
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:09, archived)
This is commonly known as 'dogs in a bathtub.'

(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:09, archived)
I've learned something today

(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:11, archived)
I've learned a little bit more

(I helped save b3ta! Gooch Is neither here nor there, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:14, archived)

encyclopediadramatica.com/Tony_Eveready NSFW NSFW NSFW
(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:15, archived)
jesus christ

(Bazongaloid, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:22, archived)
Then you got a DP.

(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:25, archived)
That sounds
really quite painful
(Bazongaloid, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:26, archived)
Oh, there's few things more offputting than a shorn scrotum.

(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:08, archived)
The problem i face is that I'm a bit of a dark skinned hairy type (not back or shoulders thankfully)
If i was to shave my crotch then it would accentuate the other areas, I would probably have to go for the whole body shave. This would not be a good look
(I helped save b3ta! Gooch Is neither here nor there, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:13, archived)
Pleeeease don't.
I know I love hairy chaps, but still, it's not just me and I was right with what I said before.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:19, archived)
Noit has also had a haircut this morning,
He better still have his sideburns.
(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:05, archived)
Do you need something to hold onto when you're being the man?

(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:06, archived)
What do you mean, 'when'?

(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:07, archived)
Good point.

(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:09, archived)
We're on the same clock.

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:06, archived)
Do you have sideburns, Jammy?

(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:08, archived)
Not really.
Utterly bald, etc.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:10, archived)
does ym?

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:11, archived)
i'd like to teach the world to sing in perfect harmony
but i feel this will be impossible because of the deaf people and their nasal voices and moans
(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:08, archived)
I want to get my hair cut off because it's doing my head in
but also it makes me look girlie and feminine. I haven't had long hair since I was 10 and it's really weird.

WHAT SHOULD I DO, JAMMERS?
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:09, archived)
YOU'RE A BIRD. HAVE IT LONG.
There's too many short haired Dan French's running around spoiling my day.
Let your hair grow and be a woman!
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:12, archived)
Just get it trimmed, it's lovely long:)
You have lovely healthy shiny hair.
(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:17, archived)
I might get loads of massively choppy layers cut into it.
I had layers in April and they looked a bit crap and undramatic.
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:26, archived)
Whatever you do, it's bound to be cute.

(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:17, archived)
Shave a swastika into the back and lick your lips whenever anyone looks at you

(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:19, archived)
JMG is bald, he has no hair to cut...

(I helped save b3ta! Jenk Neptune is a pedant and now I can't fit my sig in, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:10, archived)
good stuff

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:13, archived)
I am keeping the beard.
Through the heat. I am going to man it through babe.
(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:19, archived)
*Firm handshakes*
Excellent SSGing!
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:19, archived)
ololowhich hair?
/ dad
(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:19, archived)
HALLO jmg.
I've pulled a sickie as i have a headache. I'm not really that poorly. I'm entertaining myself looking at houses i can't afford online.
I like houses.
(I helped save b3ta! rosie posie tingly bongly, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:22, archived)