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Yesterday I had to wander about with a massive gash under my tounge
Because I stabbed myself with a toothbrush.

Later I burnt my eye with fag-ash.

How have you stupidly injured yourself recently?
(I helped save b3ta! Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:20, archived)
Pfft
'Massive gash'
(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:21, archived)
I used to work with a chap called Mike Gash.

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:25, archived)

www.dailyhaha.com/_pics/mike_litoris.jpg
(I helped save b3ta! Jenk Neptune is a pedant and now I can't fit my sig in, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:42, archived)
i scraped my arm on a barbed wire fence
and i cut a small hole in it with a scalpel.
(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:21, archived)
and a month or so ago i grazed a few square centimetres of skin off my knuckles, because i was druink and confused and there was a wall i bashed them against.

(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:22, archived)
My mate shoved me into a wall when we were both langered on goon.
That was fun at the time...
(I helped save b3ta! Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:25, archived)
on purpose?

(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:29, archived)
We were both pissed and shoving each other.

(I helped save b3ta! Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:30, archived)
i was alone and scratching the blood out of my arm.

(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:32, archived)
I have to force myself not to pick at scabs and the like when drunk.
No pain limit then.
(I helped save b3ta! Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:33, archived)
yes that's how my knuckles got quite so ragged.
at the time all they did was weep.
(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:35, archived)
Haven't.
But I haven't used my knives that much, so that may be a factor.
(I helped save b3ta! Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:21, archived)
Cut my palm open splitting a small piece of wood
Mmmm white fatty bits poking out.
(I helped save b3ta! M o D, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:21, archived)
*Boke*

(I helped save b3ta! Major Turd for tonight only, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:27, archived)
I had to push the insides of my thumb back in once after cutting it with a kitchen knife.

(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:30, archived)
i accidentally chopped myself in the nads
it was horrible
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:22, archived)
Pfft, gash.

(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:22, archived)
yeah, fag-ash

(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:28, archived)
Fag gash?
RECTUM.
(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:29, archived)
I just picked myself up on the arms of my chair so I could sit cross legged
and when I picked my legs up to tuck them underneath me, I SMASHED the side of my patella on the desk. Ow.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:22, archived)
You keep hurting yourself Wow.
Are you sure you don't need someone to keep an eye on you?
(I helped save b3ta! Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:27, archived)
ARGH, REAL NAMES

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:29, archived)
Why the name? Why the spelling it like that?

(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:30, archived)
I don't know why and I thought that's how you spelled it (How little I know)
Appologies if I offend.
(I helped save b3ta! Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:31, archived)
I didn't know there was another way to spell it

(I helped save b3ta! Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:32, archived)
Fay, Faye, Fae...

(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:33, archived)
This is why people always put a second 't' in my name :(

(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:35, archived)
Fayett?

(I helped save b3ta! Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:36, archived)
Haha delightful :)

(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:37, archived)
mathew?

(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:37, archived)
-Y
No offence, I was just wondering.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:32, archived)
She might let you off if you offer her some Eccles cake

(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:32, archived)
NOM

(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:33, archived)
I'll do better than that.
Rich chocolate brownies stuffed to the gills with weed.

Only snag is she has to come to australia to claim them.
(I helped save b3ta! Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:51, archived)
Far too hot, I'd die.

(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:53, archived)
It'll only be as warm as 20 degrees up until august.
Book tickets quick.
(I helped save b3ta! Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:56, archived)
I recently walked into the bathtub.
I think I may have forgot it was there or something.
(I helped save b3ta! Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:28, archived)
I've always got bruises up and down my shins.

(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:30, archived)
I'm not sure, although I do it all the time
And I do have a mysterious bruise on my knee.
(I helped save b3ta! Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:23, archived)
*bums*

(I helped save b3ta! Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:26, archived)
Hey you!
How goes it?
(I helped save b3ta! Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:27, archived)
It goes.
Still minorly broke but have a job of sorts and going to try and beg extra shifts doing anything until kitchen picks up.
(I helped save b3ta! Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:29, archived)
Well hurry up and get rich so you can pay for my flight!
:P
(I helped save b3ta! Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:30, archived)
Fuck that!
I need money to fund my residency bid.

:-P
(I helped save b3ta! Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:52, archived)
Paper cuts on my tongue from envelope licking.
Sunburn.
Cutting myself with my own nails cos they're too long.
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:24, archived)
Sunburn? With your hair?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:24, archived)
I'm a day walker.
I can tolerate the sun for longer than most of my ginger brethren. Just forgot to put suncream on this time. No biggie. *shrugs*
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:31, archived)
I got a cut on my tongue from licking windows :(

(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:32, archived)
I am anti-clumsy
I hardly ever hurt myself due to coordination and non awareness issues.
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:24, archived)
Walls bump into me, and then apologise.

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:25, archived)
your mum makes you go everywhere in one of those plastic bubbles
that's why you don't get hurt
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:26, archived)
YI DON'T YIKE GERMS!

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:32, archived)
I think I might be dyspraxic.
I'm constantly doing mongy things and I used to get extra time in school exams for having shit handwriting.
(I helped save b3ta! Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:27, archived)
maybe you're just a bit thick with meat-hands

(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:33, archived)
occams razor, nice

(I helped save b3ta! Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:35, archived)
His knuckle dimples wobble after he claps

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:40, archived)
Clumsy people are fucking adorable, Gums.

(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:39, archived)
Girls yes, because you get to catch them and act all gentlemanly about accidently honking their bewbies. Guys, no. It just makes you look like a doofus

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:42, archived)
Oh alright then.

(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:44, archived)
I should tape you to my back
I'm a clumsy falling-over oaf.
(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:41, archived)
Surely you'd always be taped to my back, unless I always pull a pose of a falling cat :)

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:42, archived)
We could swap, to give each other a break
you might drag on the floor when it's my turn to walk though.
(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:46, archived)
as long as you put castors on the back of his heels he'd be fine.
Give him something to read...
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:50, archived)
I have a spot on my cheek and I cannot stop picking it
Over the weekend I managed to cut my leg moving garden chairs after the family BBQ, get a massive friction burn on my knee (yes a friction burn ON MY KNEE hmmm) after sliding across the floor competing with the official wedding photographer to get a prime photo (I WON) and I managed to stab a knife right down into my thumb nail.
(I helped save b3ta! Mrs Sp@m, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:25, archived)
Stop being such a spaz.

(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:27, archived)
Ouch.
I jumped off the arm of the sofa and caught my arm on the back of it, just a graze though.

Apart from that, fighting fit.
(I helped save b3ta! Major Turd for tonight only, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:26, archived)
I accidentally fed all my limbs into a shredder

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:28, archived)
oh gludelroo, you're SILLY

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:29, archived)
I type this on a big keyboard on the floor like the piano in Big
but instead of joyfully dancing on the keys like tom hanks I have to wriggle and weep
(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:35, archived)
An appalling lack of turtle power :(

(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:33, archived)
I got my rucksack caught on the escalator to the picadilly line and cut my leg
I laughed as I'm sure lots of others did
(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:30, archived)
was it on your back and you are really short?

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:40, archived)