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Morning!
Exam in less than 2 hours, first time I've been up before 7. First time I've not done anything stupid in my sleep for about a month...feeling good I reckon

How are you?
(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee OG wanker, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 7:51, archived)
Conkers deep in your [insert female relative here]
So good.
(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 7:54, archived)

fe
(I helped save b3ta! Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:11, archived)
I always thought
It was supposed to be "spuds"
(I helped save b3ta! fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:19, archived)
That's a wild overestimate

(I helped save b3ta! The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:19, archived)
Not from where I'm looking

(I helped save b3ta! fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:21, archived)
*snort*

(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:23, archived)
I've got one "spud" the size of a grapefruit
The other one's big!
(I helped save b3ta! fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:24, archived)
I was searching for "baby new potatoes"
God bless the internet

farm4.static.flickr.com/3286/2776082514_47662d2227.jpg?v=0
(I helped save b3ta! The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:26, archived)
There's a truck that goes past me every day
It has a doberman painted on the side with the phrase 'Baws Deep'
(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:22, archived)
I bought a 4 year old son of a friend a card that said
"Have truckloads of fun on your birthday!"

I lolled
(I helped save b3ta! The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:25, archived)
WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE.

(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 7:58, archived)
How many votes did the Baldmonkey party receive?

(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 7:59, archived)
11

(I helped save b3ta! The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 7:59, archived)
All of them.
I basically am Europe now.
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:00, archived)
Can we take labour voters out and shoot them now?
I think its time to take out 'the list'
(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:03, archived)
There were a lot of parties round my area
Including something like Animals For Justice or some shit.

It was just some bird, her husband, and someone else who clearly wants to fuck one of them.

Can we start with that lot and anyone who voted for them?

EDIT: They're called "Animals Count"

EDIT EDIT: fuck you animals count www.animalscount.org/
(I helped save b3ta! The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:07, archived)
Did you point out that some monkeys can also spell?

(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:09, archived)
I'll lock them bleeding in a room with a load of hungry cats and see what happens.
Fuck them and their joke political party.
(I helped save b3ta! The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:11, archived)
You've only just figured this out?
Who didn't teach balders about mortality people???
(I helped save b3ta! The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 7:59, archived)
NOT WITH A LIBERAL GOVERNMENT WE WON'T

(I helped save b3ta! SuperMatt, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:10, archived)
Moon cups and hemp clothes for EVERYONE

(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:12, archived)
You're confusing them with the Hippie Wanker Party

(I helped save b3ta! SuperMatt, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:13, archived)

www.animalscount.org/
(I helped save b3ta! The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:16, archived)
I've had 4 hours sleep
I have to be up to get MUSE TICKETS (LOLMUSICAL OPINIONS fuck off)

I am very cranky.

What do you mean "stupid" in your sleep?
(I helped save b3ta! The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 7:58, archived)
Seig Heil!

(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:03, archived)
DON'T PUSH ME ABERDEEN
;)

How art thee monsieur?
(I helped save b3ta! The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:03, archived)
I think i might actually still be asleep
Being in my office is unlikely to wake me up either
(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:10, archived)
I suggest horrible coffee, black, filled with sugar.

(I helped save b3ta! The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:13, archived)
Waaaaaay ahead of you
*twitches*
(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:26, archived)
A nuclear device
Detonating on Union Street is not likely to wake you up either!
(I helped save b3ta! fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:20, archived)
Might sort out the traffic issues though
And thats only going to get worse with the utterly mahoosive new shopping centre opening up
(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:24, archived)
Be fair
Aberdeen being nuked would cause millions of pounds woth of improvements
(I helped save b3ta! fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:42, archived)
I LIKE MUSE A LOT

(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:07, archived)
i think i am still tipsy from last night
I HAD A VERY NICE TIME
(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:07, archived)
that's good to know dear.
I like muse and alcohol together too!
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:09, archived)
well you'd have to be drunk, wouldn't you.

(I helped save b3ta! Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:31, archived)
LOLOPINIONS

(I helped save b3ta! The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:32, archived)
damn right
 
better than yours
(I helped save b3ta! Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:57, archived)
*tipsy high five*
Good on ya lady.

I'm so crazy, me and my mate got on it last night, finished the whole bottle. HAHAHA IT'S FUNNY CUZ WE WERE DRINKING SQUASH :*(

Did you go to a marvellous party?

And also, MUSEFTMFW
(I helped save b3ta! The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:10, archived)
I WENT TO SEE JAZZ
this band

they were very good. i was dancing in my seat.
(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:15, archived)
Was the lead singer a handsome debonair chap?

(I helped save b3ta! The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:17, archived)
no he was cheeky and smiley and chubby and i liked him.

(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:20, archived)
i mean, YEAH SURE handsome and debonair.

(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:20, archived)
Don't ruin my dreams
Dooooood
(I helped save b3ta! The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:21, archived)
he had a cool hat and some good patter.

(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:24, archived)
:)

(I helped save b3ta! The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:27, archived)
am tired and grumpy with my boss.
He was supposed to call ME for work when he came back from south la-di-fricken-dah africa but did he? NO. I get a call from a collegue asking what time I'm coming in and I've got no idea. Text the boss. "Oh yeah sorry am so jetlagged - can you come in at 5:30?". No I can't fucking get there at five fucking thirty. I'll be there at six you lazy disorganised prick.

And you can bet he'll be using me as his "I'm-going-to-vent-on-an-employee-until-they-cry" person today. Cunt.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:07, archived)
Steal his favourite pen and wipe your bum on it
Then drop it on his desk
(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:11, archived)
it's a restaurant.
tis a little difficult.

I'm just grumpy that he demands me there at his every beck and freaking call when I've had an exam and need half an hour to actually properly collect myself when he knows I have exams on.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:13, archived)
DEATH, DEATH TO HIM

(I helped save b3ta! The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:14, archived)
tempting but seeing as how I'm not (yet) in his will and testament
won't do me anygood.

Baldmonkey - any way you can get me into somebody's will?
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:18, archived)
Awake.
That's about it. And, well I say awake, just barely.
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:17, archived)
*applies foot rubs to lull you awake*

(I helped save b3ta! The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:19, archived)
Thanks lady.
I really wouldn't if I were you. My feet are stupidly ticklish and I'd end up hoofing you in your face. The thought was LOVELY though :)
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:25, archived)
I had an ex with stupidly tickly feet
He once actually booted me out of bed cuz my toe touched his foot.
(I helped save b3ta! The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:27, archived)
Talking of bird violence
My missus' 'natural reaction' to me taking a photo of her bare arsed, asleep, was to kick me in the stomach. The following hour was a little strained.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:29, archived)
Has she ever been in prison?

(I helped save b3ta! The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:32, archived)
No
And for a bird of her calibre from the north east that is unheard of.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:33, archived)
Sounds like a reasonable response to me.

(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:35, archived)
Her contrition was displayed later in the traditional manner.

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:37, archived)
Blowjobs and cups of tea?

(I helped save b3ta! The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:40, archived)
The drink was champagne
I think that's a fair response to unwarranted violence
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:42, archived)
Sneezy
And glad it's the weekend soon.
(I helped save b3ta! Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 8:38, archived)