ME!
Hello sitting bulls. Internet hero JMG is here.
Who'd like to open today's banter with some made up facts?

/edit
The SECOND I hit 'enter' on this I received a phone call from an angry person.
Ohh Fatties.. Why must you stalk me?
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 12 Jun 2009, 12:15, archived)

When JMG votes, he's still voting for Thatcher
He draws an extra box on the form and puts love hearts around her name.
( Theoban What of it, Fri 12 Jun 2009, 12:16, archived)

I heard you are related to Margaret Thatcher
and that her "fall" was actually you barging past her to get to the fridge so she couldn't eat all your pies.

Which were bought with dole money.

By your mum.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Jun 2009, 12:16, archived)

I'm going to be a total forriner here,
but why does everybody hate margaret thatcher so much?
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 12 Jun 2009, 12:18, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/6220077
( Bats, Fri 12 Jun 2009, 12:20, archived)

awesome.
ta love.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 12 Jun 2009, 12:21, archived)

I think it must be because she was a women.

( BindiBaji, Fri 12 Jun 2009, 12:28, archived)

It's cool.
Like liking Radiohead.
(thediscokingpin, Fri 12 Jun 2009, 12:21, archived)

There's a wocket in my pocket...

(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 12 Jun 2009, 12:16, archived)

Margaret Thatcher is bald.
Her hair is nothing but a wig made of the white fur shaven off of lemurs and dyed.
( Bats, Fri 12 Jun 2009, 12:17, archived)

Binge eating is healthy

( Mrs Sp@m, Fri 12 Jun 2009, 12:17, archived)

What about binge eating fruit and veg?

( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 12 Jun 2009, 12:18, archived)

It gives you the shits
/bought smoothie maker and well overdone it on fruit
( Gooch Is neither here nor there, Fri 12 Jun 2009, 12:20, archived)

Yeah, it's easy to overdose.
Overdose = :(
( Bats, Fri 12 Jun 2009, 12:21, archived)

try adding vodka and lemonade to the smoothie maker NYOM NYOM

( Mrs Sp@m, Fri 12 Jun 2009, 12:22, archived)

And when you try to stand up, not feeling any kind of ill effects
fall over immediately, singing Danny Boy.
( Bats, Fri 12 Jun 2009, 12:23, archived)

I think I love this video.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=OCbuRA_D3KU
( Bats, Fri 12 Jun 2009, 12:25, archived)

That
was emotional
(Eggo ergo I am, Fri 12 Jun 2009, 12:32, archived)

Also hot Coffee, Baileys, cinnamon take off base strain the cinnamon out and add walnuts blend again
and add whipped cream.
( Mrs Sp@m, Fri 12 Jun 2009, 12:24, archived)

That sounds nice
*takes notes
( Gooch Is neither here nor there, Fri 12 Jun 2009, 12:25, archived)

you need a very fine strainer though cause cinnamon is a bitch for pulling out of your teeth.

( Mrs Sp@m, Fri 12 Jun 2009, 12:28, archived)

Cleans you out so it's all good!

( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 12 Jun 2009, 12:25, archived)

If we are being honest
thats bad for your teeth, fruit has tons of fructose in it, it can sometimes be just as bad as sweets if eaten in excess
( Mrs Sp@m, Fri 12 Jun 2009, 12:21, archived)

But sweet things are better for teeth than starchy things
SCIENCE told me so. In reality, the acid in the fruit is more harmful for your teeth than the sugar.
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 12 Jun 2009, 12:22, archived)

Everything's probably bad for your teeth.
That's why I don't give a shit, and will eat what I like. I also won't use a straw for my orange juice, telly dentist lady.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 12 Jun 2009, 12:24, archived)

yes
coffee causes CANCER, too.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 12 Jun 2009, 12:36, archived)

B M
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 12 Jun 2009, 12:21, archived)

well done that girl!

( Mrs Sp@m, Fri 12 Jun 2009, 12:25, archived)

I'm trying out new ways of sitting on my chair.
Not a lie.

Er... JMG's mum has a vestigial tail, vestigial horns and a vestigial dorsal fin she uses to help fold the washing.

VESTIGIAL.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 12 Jun 2009, 12:18, archived)

I'd love some horns.
But only if I could hide them.
( Bats, Fri 12 Jun 2009, 12:20, archived)

Horns would help me look even more sinister
I like your thinking
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 12 Jun 2009, 12:23, archived)

JMG has a third nipple he calls Simon.

( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 12 Jun 2009, 12:19, archived)

JMG
is in fact 2 different people. One for the day shift, and another for the gay shift.
( TBL I posted this on, Fri 12 Jun 2009, 12:20, archived)

Like 2 dwarves in a trenchcoat?

(thediscokingpin, Fri 12 Jun 2009, 12:29, archived)

more or less
they take turns as to who is going to be on top.
( TBL I posted this on, Fri 12 Jun 2009, 12:35, archived)

the rings in trees don't actually count their age
it counts how many dogs have wee'd on them
( manolith hooray for me, Fri 12 Jun 2009, 12:21, archived)

JMG has lovely alloys
PRIVATEJOKELOL!
(likeajackhammer, Fri 12 Jun 2009, 12:21, archived)

is this is B4SH joke?

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 12 Jun 2009, 12:24, archived)

OHHH HOOBEAR!
You terrible person! Who is just me on another account.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 12 Jun 2009, 12:33, archived)

Alright Jamjar,
I hear that's your nickname IRLOFFLOLINE.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 12 Jun 2009, 12:27, archived)

Didn't you start this thread last night?

( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Fri 12 Jun 2009, 12:27, archived)

Quick! Start a thread about your socks!

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 12 Jun 2009, 12:30, archived)

haha, he is dull isn't he

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 12 Jun 2009, 12:39, archived)

9 out of 10 cats
prefer malt loaf with added mouse
( M o D, Fri 12 Jun 2009, 12:27, archived)