b3ta.com talk
You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Home » Talk » Message 6235786

I'm due to fly out on my holidays to Brazil soon.
I've been thinking about that plane crashing into the sea. Do you think it would have been possible to have jumped out. I might buy a parachute and take it as hand luggage. I'm terrified now but i don't want to give up on my holiday and first class seat.
(Sebastian Winnett, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 10:16, archived)
THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I LEAVE.
Is this really what you want?
(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 10:17, archived)
You should all welcome me home
I complete this pit of misery.
(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 10:17, archived)
lol
www.b3tards.com/u/63e645c3826fa9bc7564/apology.gif
(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 10:18, archived)
OH NO!
The sanctity of Gaz, broken by mike woz ere.

that gaz really makes me look like a prick though, can you take it down please?
(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 10:19, archived)
It's the public apology that you didn't give to everyone you insulted.

(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 10:20, archived)
Everyone
I am sorry.
(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 10:21, archived)
Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!

(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 10:21, archived)
Am I forgiven yet?

(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 10:22, archived)
no, just made to look more of a tit than usual

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 10:24, archived)
What can I do to make everything better?

(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 10:25, archived)
just fuck off

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 10:25, archived)
You're stuck with me
and ym
and Cock Tuesday
and Woop Woop Woop

and my hilarious comedy accounts.
forever.
(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 10:29, archived)
oh look
a kitten
(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 10:30, archived)
ym mental health problems
cock tuesday lunatic
Woop Woop Woop scary man on the internet
(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 10:31, archived)
Oh christ
he's back
(Buckminsterfuller Bring out yer meat puppets, it's time for some fun, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 10:34, archived)
well, I can go back to ignoring you now!

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 10:22, archived)
Everyone wins!

(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 10:23, archived)
that reeks of repressed homosexuality

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 10:20, archived)
Before I knew what had happened I was reading it with a lisp.

(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 10:21, archived)
he really does have a deep-seated desire for the penis

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 10:23, archived)

www.b3tards.com/u/63e645c3826fa9bc7564/apologyomg1.gif
(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 10:28, archived)
genuine office lol

(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 10:29, archived)
I bet your cokehead boss chortled at it

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 10:31, archived)
He's not in the office today.

(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 11:11, archived)
Are all the latest noobs you?

(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 10:18, archived)
Why don't you tell me?
you mighty internet-detective.
(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 10:20, archived)
Whatever Seb, im tired of you now.

(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 10:21, archived)
No really, I'm dying to hear your theories on how many of my accounts I've been posting with for the last 9 days.
perhaps I've inflitrated b3ta as another omgirl?
(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 10:24, archived)
We didn't miss you.
That's not some secret reverse psychology. You're just one less noise in the signal to noise ratio.
(I helped save b3ta! Noit happy baby orangutan, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 10:20, archived)
Someone would've taken your place eventually.

(I helped save b3ta! WHARRGARBL, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 10:22, archived)
you?

(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 10:25, archived)
I doubt it very much.
I'm not one for making a myriad comedy accounts.
(I helped save b3ta! WHARRGARBL, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 10:27, archived)
This is my favourite Wormulus meme
I'd love someone to list all my comedy acounts.
(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 10:31, archived)
No, this is what is happening now you plank.

(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 10:18, archived)
you'll be fine
it's safer than driving.
now man the fuck up
(PsychoChomp, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 10:17, archived)
I don't think you can just open the doors from the inside like they do on films.

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 10:17, archived)
I bet you could

(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 10:17, archived)
I wouldn't need a parachute either.

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 10:20, archived)
You can't, because of the difference in pressure. There was an aircraft which landed at an airport in the Middle East, on fire,
but because the pressure was set for the destination airport which was 1,000 feet higher than the airport they started off at and then landed back on, they couldn't open the doors, so all the bodies became fuzed together with the heat in one massive blob of death
(I helped save b3ta! Bobson I who milks the milkmen?, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 10:26, archived)
Even if you jump out you've forgotten that you're allergic to seaweed.

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 10:17, archived)
Wheelchairs can't jump.

(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 10:18, archived)
You need a chinchair with trolley wheels.

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 10:27, archived)
could you jump out: No, hitting the water would be like hitting concrete.
Handluggage: you realise that if you had a parachute as hand luggage you'd look suspicious.

Brazil: HAVE FUN!
(I helped save b3ta! GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 10:18, archived)
You goin' DOWN!
But what would you do when you had parachuted into the ocean?
(I helped save b3ta! Major Turd for tonight only, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 10:18, archived)
I'm a very good swimmer. I'd tread water till i was rescued.

(Sebastian Winnett, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 10:20, archived)
your name is purple
but this thread was your first post

so you're either a thread deleter or a recycled comedy account from last week
(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 10:25, archived)
Inspector Gilgamesh is on the case!

(I helped save b3ta! Major Turd for tonight only, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 10:29, archived)
now ... who would have a comedy account ... but wasn't posting here last week?
a most perplexing case!
(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 10:32, archived)
is it a (very expensive) first-class seat?

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 10:18, archived)
Not really expensive. Daddy bought it for me. He is very rich.

(Sebastian Winnett, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 10:22, archived)
Hi Seb.

(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 10:22, archived)
Yet he sent you to BRAZIL?

(I helped save b3ta! Major Turd for tonight only, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 10:26, archived)
He's Josef Mengele

(I helped save b3ta! masakatsu best of all the burger meats, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 10:29, archived)
just get the train there

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 10:19, archived)
Jump out at what point?
There are stories of people who've survived falling from huge heights. I mean, they broke every bone in their body and their life wasn't really worth living afterwards, but they're SURVIVORS.
(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 10:19, archived)
*plays 'I can be your Hero' by that Iglesias boy*

(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 10:22, archived)
I'm a survivor,
I busted my liver,
Bones in my body,
Nothing but putty,
My heart is a-failing,
My skin is a-paling,
Life is terrible.
As a vegetable.
(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 10:23, archived)
It's the sharks you'd have to worry about

(I helped save b3ta! masakatsu best of all the burger meats, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 10:20, archived)
Yeah they make terrible pilots
they can barely reach the controls and their fins aren't really made for gripping.
(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 10:24, archived)
That's possibly the best mental image I've had today though.

(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 10:26, archived)
"Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking,
GNASH! GNASH! GNASH! GNASH!"
(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 10:27, archived)
and they're too busy playing the cello

(I helped save b3ta! h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Thu 18 Jun 2009, 10:28, archived)
It's that shark bravado
"Some of my best mates are pilot fish. How hard could this be anyway?"
(I helped save b3ta! masakatsu best of all the burger meats, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 10:32, archived)
You should kill yourself now so that you don't die in a terrible plane crash

(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 10:20, archived)
What a nasty, stupid thing to say.

(Sebastian Winnett, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 10:23, archived)
You're right.
Bringing your own parachute is a completely sensible idea.
(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 10:26, archived)
see this, this post is what Sebastian "Wormulus" Winnett, the scarf-wearing cockhound, would say if he was pretending to be a girl

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 10:28, archived)
instead of pretending to be a man lolololBZZzzz

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 10:28, archived)
The chances are ridiculously small.
Man up or go to Cornwall for your jollies.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 10:22, archived)
or both

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 10:23, archived)
Yeah, BRUTE your way around Cornwall.
Nutting all the racist farmer types.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 10:24, archived)
Just don't fly there

(I helped save b3ta! Bobson I who milks the milkmen?, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 10:28, archived)
If it's any consolation...
Think of a plane crash like a rollercoaster ride, scary and exciting right up until you smash into the ground at somewhere around 180mph. And when it does hit the ground/sea the chances are it will be over so quickly you won't have a chance to feel the pain ;)
(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 10:22, archived)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=G_l72q9K3Fw
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 10:25, archived)
Now that's what I'm talking about

(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 10:28, archived)
FANTASTIC ARMANDO

(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 10:34, archived)
Hahahaha you twat

(I helped save b3ta! Bobson I who milks the milkmen?, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 10:25, archived)
But seriously, as an aviation type person
the chances of an aircraft crashing are unbelievably rare, just because there's been a crash over that route doesn't mean it's more likely that there'll be another, in fact statistically wise it means it's much more less likely
(I helped save b3ta! Bobson I who milks the milkmen?, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 10:27, archived)
yeah,
I mean, if you roll a 6 on a dice, it's not likely to come up 6 again for a while, is it?
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 10:35, archived)
Why would you want to crash the plane?
I'm going to call up your airport and say that you've been posting messages on an intenet message board claiming to want the plane to crash.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 10:27, archived)