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Can anyone speak German?
I got an e-mail from the Eurofighter shop about some clothes I've ordered.

Anmerkungen und Kommentare zu Ihrer Bestellung:

Der Status Ihrer Bestellung wurde geändert.

Neuer Status: In Bearbeitung

Bei Fragen zu Ihrer Bestellung antworten Sie bitte auf diese eMail.

Mit freundlichen Grüssen

(I helped save b3ta! Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 15:46, archived)
They said some pretty harsh words about your mum in that.

(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 15:47, archived)
that's ok
she's been dead 20 years
(I helped save b3ta! Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 15:48, archived)
They want you to invade Poland.

(I helped save b3ta! stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 19 Jun 2009, 15:48, archived)
but there's no-one there
they're all over here
(I helped save b3ta! Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 15:49, archived)
Then ZE PLAN HAS VORKED!
HANS! START DA ENGINES! PANZERS ROLL!
(I helped save b3ta! stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 19 Jun 2009, 15:51, archived)
Yes.
Notification and update on your order:

Your order status has changed.

New status: in processing

If you have any questions about your order, please reply to this email.

Friendly greetings
(MooCow_Byter, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 15:48, archived)
Christ on a bike!
How the fuck am I supposed to reply in German?
(I helped save b3ta! Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 15:49, archived)
Just copy and paste sentences at random from Der Untergang
and hope for the best.
(MooCow_Byter, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 15:51, archived)
"In processing"?
It's a fleece not a roll of Agfa
(I helped save b3ta! Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 15:51, archived)
Well, it's not a direct translation.
Bearbeitung doesn't have a literal equivalent. It sort of means "the act of being worked on".
(MooCow_Byter, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 15:53, archived)
Thanks
I guess that means they are dispatching it. Hope I get it for wednesday :)
(I helped save b3ta! Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 15:54, archived)
Just listen out for the sirens.
Your package will be the one you don't hear coming.
(MooCow_Byter, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 15:59, archived)

Their stuff is really good quality. You should get one too!
(I helped save b3ta! Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:01, archived)
it's a bit...
chavvy.
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:12, archived)
you won't see anyone else in one
(apart from me that is)
(I helped save b3ta! Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:16, archived)
most people wouldn't be seen in public with it on,
that's why :)
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:19, archived)
"In progress" might be a better translation
for a random value of better
(I helped save b3ta! Mornington Crescent Come the Envolution ..., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:20, archived)
Do you have any questions?
If you do, answer in english, it'll be fine.
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:10, archived)
Nope, sorry

(I helped save b3ta! executiverocker only wears C&A, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 15:48, archived)

Infomation and commentary for your purchase

The status of your purchase was promising.

Newer status: In Bear-baiting.

The clothes you purchased are eaten by bears so sorry for our previous email.

My friend likes you a lot.
(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 15:49, archived)

Vielen Dank für Ihren Guffschnabelantrag.

Ich wünsche doppelte Eintragung mit einem Geschlechtsspielzeug mit jibber nabber Resultaten.
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 15:55, archived)

Wüff Wüff!
(Police Dog bark bark bark, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:01, archived)
*Shoots*

(I helped save b3ta! stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:05, archived)
....
...Did you...Just TRY and shoot Police Dog...

EVERYONE. stuj just tried to kill Police Dog!!!
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:09, archived)
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK.

(I helped save b3ta! WHARRGARBL, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:10, archived)
More importantly, how is Police Dog now?

(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:10, archived)
Beats me!!
He just ran off...maybe he's DYING somewhere D:
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:12, archived)
NOT MY FAULT!
I thought he was a kraut.
(I helped save b3ta! stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:11, archived)
Krautdog:
Mascot of any Krautrock band.
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:13, archived)
He's probably got Ding in a closet and is running out of food

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:12, archived)
Plenty of kittens here at the moment.

(I helped save b3ta! stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:16, archived)
Mexican LOL
\o\ lol /o/
(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 15:56, archived)
They're asking you what they should have for tea
and telling you about what they're watching on telly.
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 15:50, archived)
De Bargün Bükkethoffen

(I helped save b3ta! RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 15:55, archived)
Eastendensteiffen
Tina: Tag Mike.
Mike: Guten Tag Tina.
Tina: Meine mutter commen fur zer lunch-hoffen?
Mike: NEIN! DIR MUTTER COMMEN! SCHNELL! SCHELL! DU SHLAG!
Man: Argh! Mein komf du blooten!
Tina: Der maleschlaffen! Das kie hast AMNESIAHOFFEN!
Mike: Actung! Actung maleschlaffen!
Man: Ja?
Mike: VOT IS YUR NAME?
(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:03, archived)

Ike: Singen ze musik wieder, mit STANK.
Tina: bütt, Ike...
Ike: MIT STANK! ACHTUNG ODER ES IST DE BITCHENSCHLAPPEN!!
Tina: NEIN IKE. BITTE!!!
(I helped save b3ta! RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:15, archived)
HANDSTITCHED BY BEARS

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 15:53, archived)
Dear Planearm,
For you, Tommy, ze war iz over.
Achtung! Spitfire.

love and kisses,

The Hun
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 15:55, archived)
VE ARE USING ZE EMAIL AS ZIS IS EFFICIENT.
VE IN ZE LAND OF GERMANY LOVE ZE EFFICIENCY.

VE HAVE NOTHING IMPORTANT TO TELL YOU, OTHER THAN OUR OPTIMUM EFFICIENCY SKILLS.

MUCH LOVE, ADOLF.

You have to read german as if it was written in capital letters.
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 15:59, archived)
Just type a reply in English.
Slowly and loudly.
(I helped save b3ta! stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:02, archived)
Ha ha ha.
Hello mister.
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:05, archived)
'Ning Gingezilla.
I gots lots some Office Cats now.
5 feral kittens infested our portakabin. but we think one's died.
There were 3 fluffball ones and 2 tiny black ninja types.
(I helped save b3ta! stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:08, archived)
:D
Gingezilla. I like that.

Dawww, office kitties. Call one of them Tara :p

How are you?
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:09, archived)
I got dumped by my Ding-a-like.
When I told her about the kittens and showed her photos she went all soppy and that.
And then hit the roof when I went, "Yeah it's going to be a difficult choice, which one to keep and which four to drown."
:(
She should have known I was mostly joking.
I'd have probably kept two.
(I helped save b3ta! stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:15, archived)
Roughly...
American and commentary to inner best-selling
There status inner best-selling words Gandolf
Newer Status: In Bear Baiting
By Fraggle to inner Best selling ant warden she bitter Alf diesel she-male
Mint fried chicken gruesome
(I helped save b3ta! Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:04, archived)
"Notes and comments for your order:
The status of your order has been changed.
New status: In processing (being processed).
If you have any questions about your order, please reply to this email.
With friendly greetings"
(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:04, archived)
STOP ACTUALLY HELPING.

(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:07, archived)
I know a little German...



...He's sitting over there
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:06, archived)
It's something along the lines of
"VERE ARE YA PAPERS TOMMY?"
(I helped save b3ta! magnum, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:07, archived)
Google languages rock meinen welt krankenhoffen kartoffeln klippidy-kloppen
Notes and comments about your order:

The status of your order has been changed.

New Status: In progress

For questions about your order please reply to this email.

Yours sincerely,
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:20, archived)