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Nothing worst than _half_ a hand shandy.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 15:11, archived)
It's fine so long as it's the second half.

(I helped save b3ta! my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 15:12, archived)
so I'm going to a wedding reception this weekend, what's the deal, what am I supposed to do.

(I helped save b3ta! GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 15:23, archived)
I went to one recently, I know what to do.
Drink heavily and join in the barn dancing if applicable. Try not to come onto the bride if possible.
(I helped save b3ta! my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 15:25, archived)
should I buy them a towel?
should I try and fuck all of the bridesmaids at once?
(I helped save b3ta! GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 15:26, archived)
I think you're confused, you're meant to buy them a trowel.
And as far as I know, it doesn't matter if they're all at once or one at a time.
(I helped save b3ta! my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 15:28, archived)
at any point do I have to compose and perform an acapella version of 'sing hosanna'

(I helped save b3ta! GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 15:31, archived)
Assuming the couple are doing it right,
they should have already hired someone to do that.
(I helped save b3ta! my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 15:37, archived)
is this what this e-mail is about then?
"Booking Confirmation for Acapella 'Sing Hosanna' performance"
(I helped save b3ta! GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 15:38, archived)
Nah, that's probably spam. Delete it.

(I helped save b3ta! my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 15:39, archived)
done!
Any more advice?
(I helped save b3ta! GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 15:39, archived)
The last wedding I went to had a three tiered pork pie instead of a wedding cake.
If they don't have this, complain bitterly. Preferably with tears. If you can smash the cake with rage, do it.
(I helped save b3ta! my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 15:42, archived)
I'm going to hum at the natural frequency of the material used to create the cake stanchions, EXPECT CAKE DEVASTATION

(I helped save b3ta! GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 15:44, archived)
It's the other way 'round.
They'll all be tryin' to shag you.

You've got to pick one without hurting the other's feelings.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 15:32, archived)
so I need to mediate sexy times?

(I helped save b3ta! GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 15:34, archived)

also, every wedding has to have a fight. If one isn't happening, start one
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 15:27, archived)
I'll start 3

(I helped save b3ta! GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 15:30, archived)
It's best to master the art of
Starting one between 2 other people though. So you can sit back and enjoy the show.
(I helped save b3ta! AzToTheRescue The arsehole formally known as Az The S slur, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 15:31, archived)
can I give them my practice swords?

(I helped save b3ta! GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 15:33, archived)
Give them real swords
It makes it more entertaining
(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 15:34, archived)
I don't own real swords

(I helped save b3ta! GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 15:36, archived)
Envolve.
In their grill.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 25 Jun 2009, 15:26, archived)
There will be drumsticks everywhere!

(I helped save b3ta! GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 15:30, archived)
get pissed and start a fight.
If you're family, start a fight with the "opposing" family.
(I helped save b3ta! Jenk Neptune is a pedant and now I can't fit my sig in, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 15:28, archived)
I'm not family but I do have fists.

(I helped save b3ta! GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 15:29, archived)
...just ask Jeremy Beadle...

(I helped save b3ta! Godzuki needs more sleep., Thu 25 Jun 2009, 15:23, archived)
Cancer?

(I helped save b3ta! magnum, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 15:23, archived)
"Sir, can I offer you half a wank
or 8 months of chemotherapy, during which all your hair will fall out, you'll wish you just die and you'll also lose a bollock as the tumour is spreading"
(I helped save b3ta! magnum, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 15:24, archived)
Half a wank please

(I helped save b3ta! magnum, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 15:24, archived)
*walks around for a bit*

(I helped save b3ta! magnum, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 15:24, archived)
*walks after you*
Excuse me, do you know where the toilets are?
(I helped save b3ta! GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 15:44, archived)