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Give me one sentence that describes the internet.
Not b3ta, /talk etc., but the whole internet.
(thediscokingpin, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 10:57, archived)

A gigantic waste of time with some useful things on it.
(I helped save b3ta! morrybyte made a subtle namechange at, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 10:59, archived)
sentence fail.

(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 10:59, archived)
okay then.
The internet is a gigantic waste of time with some useful things included.
(I helped save b3ta! morrybyte made a subtle namechange at, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 11:00, archived)
A sentence must contain a finite verb.

(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 11:01, archived)
well doesn't that "is" cover it?

(I helped save b3ta! morrybyte made a subtle namechange at, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 11:02, archived)
yes but i didnt read all that post before and i suspect you edited it
*narrows eyes*

*awards biscuit*
(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 11:02, archived)
A series of tubes.

(I helped save b3ta! Noit happy baby orangutan, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 10:59, archived)
SENTENCE FAIL.

(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 11:00, archived)
*Super Mario underground music*

(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 11:09, archived)
The internet is made of pixels and data packages and it tastes funny if you try to eat it.

(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 10:59, archived)
I heard it tastes like toffee at first then turns sour.

(thediscokingpin, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 11:03, archived)
This was a Tryumpth, I'm making a note here, huge scuess.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 10:59, archived)
oh gonzo.

(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 11:00, archived)
Blinkabulous, why do I keep on bidding on new mac laptops on ebay, even though I hope I lose because I can't spare the cash in this current economic climet?
I do it in a half-sleep.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 11:03, archived)
because buying things is a joy and a pleasure and in half-sleep you are not so inclined to resist the shiny things.

(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 11:04, archived)
It's a rollercoaster ride of emotions.
I gave some guys at work the jyst of an iPhone all I want to develop, and they all want to buy me a Mac in exchange for equal share of any profits I make. I told them to fack oof.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 11:06, archived)
i'd say let them do it, THEN write better app afterwards that make MORE money that they DONT share.

(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 11:07, archived)
This is my billion-pound idea.
You don't get many of those in a lifetime, gotta strike while the iron is hot.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 11:09, archived)
well then you'd still make half a billion
that's enough surely?
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 11:17, archived)
That would mean giving away half a billion in exchange for a laptop then.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 11:19, archived)
you could say they could have 50% right up until it's paid for the laptop and given them a bit of interest, like 5 or 10% of their investment.
then you could get the rest from there, and they would have a return on investment.
(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 11:24, archived)
Except there is no way they would do that.
It's not like I'm desprate for the money for the laptop, I'll be able to get it on my own in a couple of weeks.

I don't really belive in borrowing money for non-critcal things (like food and bills).

It's not a Dragon's Den thing, there are no gaurnties on any return on their investments.

If I really thought it was going to make me millions and if I don't do it right-now I would lose it; I would delve into my savings.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 11:30, archived)
i bought buzz for the ps2 on ebay yesterday
i can't wait for it to arrive

i also bid on some transformers but i lost
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 11:07, archived)
i want to buy things but i am scared of my bank balance at the moment.
i havent checked it since before glastonbury. and i want to book holiday flights for septamber.
(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 11:08, archived)
yeah, i'm supposed to be being good with money this month
BUT I DON'T WANNA
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 11:13, archived)
Tryumphant speeling!

(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 11:01, archived)
woah, ted!
most tryumpthant!
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 11:02, archived)
Is a tryumphant just a dog with a long sock on its nose?

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 11:04, archived)
The Internet is a global system of interconnected computer networks that use the standardized Internet Protocol Suite (TCP/IP)
i mean...
the internet is a big virtual bucket filled with cats, tits and the violently ignorant.

will that do?
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 11:01, archived)
The cats bit, yes.
The other PCP/METH etc. bit is clearly rubbish.
(thediscokingpin, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 11:02, archived)
that's the first line from the wikipedia entry

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 11:03, archived)
Exactly!

(thediscokingpin, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 11:04, archived)
The internet is both the cause and solution to my insomnia.

(I helped save b3ta! Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 11:01, archived)
*luffs*

(I helped save b3ta! Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Mon 6 Jul 2009, 11:31, archived)
A whole bunch of bored people with nothing better to do
and it's usefull for self diagnosis and paranoia of illnesses
(I helped save b3ta! Mrs Sp@m, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 11:02, archived)
It's the noise your gran makes after tea, but continuously and in your mouth.

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 11:03, archived)
The weapon of the armchair warrior

(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 11:03, archived)
Itz liek loads a spin kicks and tits with a few SHUT I YAM ARGUIN and look at dis puppeh i play da bagpipes terrybull comments AAAA++.

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 11:04, archived)
haha, we came up with a surprisingly similar description

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 11:05, archived)
whoop!

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 11:06, archived)
tedium interspersed with cuntishness and illiteracy

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 11:05, archived)
can anybody love anyone so much that they will never fear, never worry, never be sad, the answer is we can not love that much nobody can, this is why i don't mind you doubting

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 11:06, archived)
you should write a self-help book

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 11:09, archived)
i wrote a diary once, would you like to read it...
arrived bangkok

the end
(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 11:11, archived)
distracted by ladyboys eh?

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 11:15, archived)
pretty much, yeah

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 11:16, archived)

The internet can be compared to a room containing millions of people shouting at the top of their voices, talking about whatever they want.
(Purple_Monkey_Jingles Purple Monkeys need love too, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 11:10, archived)
Some pictures of tits

(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 11:11, archived)

An online network of websites and science which contains 99.9% porn and the other .1% made up from assored crap, and tossers going 'LOL' and 'OMG' and accidentally hitting a '1' instead of a '!'
(I helped save b3ta! Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Mon 6 Jul 2009, 11:14, archived)
so you meant .!% ?

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 11:15, archived)
No I meant .1%
The tossers in question may make this mistake but I would not be such a cunt 1
(I helped save b3ta! Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Mon 6 Jul 2009, 11:16, archived)
so you meant ((.(5
/
(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 11:39, archived)
Don't forget the pendantics who'll point out that hitting a '1' and a '!' is the same key, it's missing a 'shift' that makes the differance.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 11:26, archived)
BEWARE THE BOX WITH A SOGGY LID

(I helped save b3ta! GrandmaOfShoes, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 11:14, archived)
People referencing stuff that stopped being funny or interesting years ago.
Sources:

www.b3ta.com/talk/6278280
www.b3ta.com/talk/6278283
(I helped save b3ta! Koba http://sexycooladventures.blogspot.com/, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 11:15, archived)
people filling their profiles with images that weren't good enough for a FP
that's always been my favourite thing here
(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 11:21, archived)
OH MAN YOU GOT ME GOOD.

(I helped save b3ta! Koba http://sexycooladventures.blogspot.com/, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 11:22, archived)
oh sorry, should have checked first

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 11:23, archived)
A massive encyclopaedia with no real index

(I helped save b3ta! Godzuki needs more sleep., Mon 6 Jul 2009, 11:25, archived)
and the anatomy pages are worn and folded

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 11:35, archived)
Wasn't one of the early worries about the internet was that it didn't have the Dewey Decimal Classification?

(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 6 Jul 2009, 11:36, archived)
A text-based adventure video game that's gotten a bit full of itself.

(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 11:41, archived)
go north

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 11:50, archived)
at the moment, i'd describe it as 'boring'
you people aren't doing enough to entertain me!
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 11:47, archived)
*puts a toothpick in my mouth, vertically on my tongue so one end is poking out my mouth*
*uses tongue to rotate the toothpick, like hillbillies do in those old movies*
*accidentally spears the roof my mouth*
*goes to yell in pain, but the tongue scratches against the other end of the toothpick, cutting open the tongue and forcing it further into the roof of the mouth*
*begins chocking on the blood*
*tries to retrieve toothpick with my hand*
*blood making it too slippery*
*manages to snap toothpick and accidentally swallows the broken half*
*half the broken toothpick lotches in throat*
*flails around in bloody pain*
(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 11:53, archived)
*films*
*youtubes*
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 12:05, archived)
the internet
innit...innit though
(DefyingDarwin Old, untalented and white,, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 11:52, archived)