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Some fat right-wing prick on my Facebook has as his status:
"Thinks everyone is 1 mistake away from a spell in jail..."
He lives in leafy suburban Warrington. He's not exactly in Moss Side. Am I being daft or has he actually been playing too much GTA?
(I helped save b3ta! Malchick, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 22:42, archived)
SHIT BLIMP

(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 22:43, archived)
He certainly is.

(I helped save b3ta! Malchick, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 22:43, archived)
FUCK YES!

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 6 Jul 2009, 22:45, archived)
AMERICA!
oh? are we not doing that one?
(I helped save b3ta! chef losing more hair on a daily basis since, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 23:00, archived)
I don't want to open that, I just want to savour that headline

(I helped save b3ta! Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Mon 6 Jul 2009, 23:20, archived)
Isn't the Telegraph one of those websites where you can write your own headlines?
www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/spain/5736633/b3ta-website-to-be-closed-down-after-baldmonkey-sex-offences.html
(I helped save b3ta! Pope Shax XIII uses Visio for picture editing, does it show?, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 23:22, archived)
pfffft uri fail.

(I helped save b3ta! MrA, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 23:23, archived)
Sounds like he's worried about being caught with child porn to me.

(I helped save b3ta! Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Mon 6 Jul 2009, 22:43, archived)
I did not know SuperMatt was right-wing.

(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 22:44, archived)
Haven't you seen his Nazi trenchcoat?

(I helped save b3ta! Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Mon 6 Jul 2009, 22:46, archived)
has it got skulls on it?

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 22:51, archived)
no
www.cr3static.com/data/jpg/7668.supermatt.jpg
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 22:52, archived)

www.m4gnum.com/b3ta/sl.jpg
(I helped save b3ta! magnum, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 22:58, archived)
Fucking hell.
Never do that again.
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 22:59, archived)
this

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 23:00, archived)
I'm going to stare at goatse until I feel clean again.

(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 23:00, archived)
I don't know who either of those people are.

(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Mon 6 Jul 2009, 23:08, archived)
Are we the baddies?

(I helped save b3ta! Druid, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 22:53, archived)
I used to work in Warrington
It's plastic Mancs or plastic Scousers. Fucking argh.
(Glomp Fuck, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 22:44, archived)
In fact
Are you from near Warrington?
(Glomp Fuck, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 22:45, archived)
I'm from there.
if i'm not mistaken malchick went priestly?
and lived in Gorse covert.
(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 22:47, archived)
I did.
I'm from Warrington, but live in Leeds. Back in Warrington for the duration of July though, due to a gap between my previous lease ending and my new one beginning.
(I helped save b3ta! Malchick, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 22:49, archived)
So...
Manc or Scouser then ;-)
(Glomp Fuck, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 22:50, archived)
Bit of neither.
I'm from a new part of Warrington that was only built about 30 years ago so I never had a particularly strong Woolie accent, relatively speaking. It's on the north-east side of Warrington, so much closer to Manchester, but then my dad is from Ormskirk. So take your pick.
(I helped save b3ta! Malchick, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 22:51, archived)
My accent has also been infected by The Yorkshire, just to confuse matters.

(I helped save b3ta! Malchick, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 22:54, archived)
Eee, that's grand.

(I helped save b3ta! Druid, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 22:54, archived)
Jesus!
Quite a bit like me that. Liverpool fan, live in Liverpool from Manchester. I sound all over the shop!
(Glomp Fuck, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 23:01, archived)
You're from south Warrington, aren't you?

(I helped save b3ta! Malchick, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 22:55, archived)
Yeah, Appleton, it's fairly nice.
A bit boring though.
(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 22:56, archived)
I can imagine. I've worked there.
We'll have to have a pint sometime.
(I helped save b3ta! Malchick, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 23:01, archived)
Would be glad to.... how long you down for?
(I don't get paid for another two weeks and i'm skint until then) :(
(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 23:03, archived)
Till August 1st.
I'll see you at the end of July ;)
(I helped save b3ta! Malchick, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 23:17, archived)
you might be adding people to a online thing you don't really know, or taking it all to serious
or you may still be gay since springysunshine broke your heart
(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 22:44, archived)
I've been in a happy, healthy relationship for over a year, actually.
And I just found it curious that he seems to live in fear of the police when we move in much the same world.
(I helped save b3ta! Malchick, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 22:45, archived)
i'm glad for that
don't turn gay again tho eh, you are only young
(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 22:48, archived)
I'll try not to :)

(I helped save b3ta! Malchick, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 22:49, archived)
I know it's not exactly a conquest of Everestian proportions,
but I would still quite like a go on her.
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 22:45, archived)
well most have
seems alot of us haven't had our turn, tho i don't want to go gay after, she is a bit man like but still
(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 22:47, archived)
I don't use it, so I may be wrong
but don't you choose to accept people as friends to your facebook?

In that case you are, by default, a fat right-wing prick's friend.

Sorry.
(misusscompiler No cornflakes? No eyes? No problem !, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 22:44, archived)
He's a lad I used to know in school.
Didn't realise what a prick he was when I added him. I keep meaning to have a prune, actually.
(I helped save b3ta! Malchick, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 22:46, archived)
Ditch him then.
Put him down like a diseased dog.
Cleave him like donner meat from the kebab.
Show him how you do things downtown.
Open a can of whoop ass on his facebook.
(misusscompiler No cornflakes? No eyes? No problem !, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 22:48, archived)
yeah it doesn't hurt to stay regular

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 22:49, archived)
pfft

(I helped save b3ta! BindiBaji, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 22:51, archived)
Maybe he's talking about fraud
or stealing, or death by dangerous driving?
(I helped save b3ta! magnum, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 22:44, archived)
Sounds like an utter twunt to me

(I helped save b3ta! chef losing more hair on a daily basis since, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 22:44, archived)
Is he Judge John Dredd?

(I helped save b3ta! Pope Shax XIII uses Visio for picture editing, does it show?, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 22:46, archived)
No, he thinks he's gangster. Take the computer game away from him.

(I helped save b3ta! Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Mon 6 Jul 2009, 22:46, archived)
He's been watching too much Alistair Cunting Stewart on Police, Camera, Action, Prison

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 22:46, archived)
Poor mans Sherrif John Bunnell.

(I helped save b3ta! Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Mon 6 Jul 2009, 22:48, archived)
I just want to be the top result on google for Alistair Cunting Stewart

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 22:54, archived)
he's been watching too much
Sheriff John Bunnell
(I helped save b3ta! TBL I posted this on, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 22:47, archived)
A drug fuelled rampage...
I would quite like to have one at some point in my life.
(I helped save b3ta! BindiBaji, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 22:49, archived)
It would end being a bad trip though....A TRIP TO THE STATE PENITENTIARY!

(I helped save b3ta! Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Mon 6 Jul 2009, 22:51, archived)
It’s like looking for an 80 mph needle in a skyscraper haystack
I'll admit I'm cheating now, but there are some funny ones. bsornot.whipnet.net/stupidity/creativewisdom.html
(I helped save b3ta! BindiBaji, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 23:01, archived)
The man fights the law and the law wins.
THE LAW OF GRAVITY.
(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Mon 6 Jul 2009, 23:04, archived)
I like the idea of a high octane hornet

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 23:06, archived)
They're not the most chilled of creatures to start with.

(I helped save b3ta! BindiBaji, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 23:13, archived)
A true statement.
I once almost killed my brother by shooting him with a black widow catapult.
(I helped save b3ta! BindiBaji, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 22:47, archived)
EVERYONE IS ONE MISTAKE AWAY FROM EBERYONE

(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 22:48, archived)
Everyone is 6 mistakes away from being Kevin Bacon.

(I helped save b3ta! Pope Shax XIII uses Visio for picture editing, does it show?, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 22:51, archived)
Everyone is one mistake away from being mistaken about how many mistakes away everyone is from something jolly spiffing.

(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 22:54, archived)
Everyone is 6 mistakes away from Kevin Bacon

(I helped save b3ta! mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 22:50, archived)
mindpiss

(I helped save b3ta! Pope Shax XIII uses Visio for picture editing, does it show?, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 22:52, archived)
*HIGH FIVES AND CHEST BUMPS*

(I helped save b3ta! mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 22:52, archived)
*BLOWS BRAINS OUT WITH GRANDADS OLD SERVICE REVOLVER AT PROSPECT OF NOT BEING AS ORIGINAL AS I THOUGHT I WAS*

(I helped save b3ta! Pope Shax XIII uses Visio for picture editing, does it show?, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 22:55, archived)
*ahem*
www.b3ta.com/talk/6280266
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 22:57, archived)
I saw two brothers do this while playing a doubles match at wimbledon.
I didn't think this sort of thing was allowed.
(I helped save b3ta! BindiBaji, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 23:24, archived)
Hahaha.
I like this theory.
(I helped save b3ta! Malchick, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 22:52, archived)
What about Kevin Bacon?

(I helped save b3ta! BindiBaji, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 22:53, archived)
he has to be careful not to do himself a mischief

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 22:56, archived)
6 Mischiefs!

(I helped save b3ta! BindiBaji, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 23:02, archived)
I haven't been on Facebook for a month.
When I next go on it'll be the usual, accept some friend requests, decline some friend requests, don't join the HELP FIND MADDIE IN ARE HARTS group, don't do the WHAT CHARACTER FROM SCRUBS ARE U? quiz.
(I helped save b3ta! Druid, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 22:51, archived)
Well, I have been wondering when the UK govt will try to start making examples of people who have downloaded a few songs illegally that that American woman.

(I helped save b3ta! LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Mon 6 Jul 2009, 22:58, archived)
Maybe he is well in wiv da Warrington Massive
and has popped a cap gun in someones ass. Or something.
(I helped save b3ta! FoldsFive, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 23:00, archived)
i live in warrington
it's like if mancs and scousers had retarded, ugly children and mixed them with farmers and people going to the large marks and spencers.
(The Blue Brony Flogging a Dead Horse Since, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 23:17, archived)
Pretty much.

(I helped save b3ta! Malchick, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 23:21, archived)