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On Man I've just seen the fucking funniest thing in my whole fucking life
imgs.xkcd.com/comics/3x9.png

edit: Good Morning you glovefaced muppets, what's for fucking breakfast?
(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 10:57, archived)
Tea, Earl Grey, Hot.

(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 10:58, archived)
hahahaha!
you should gaz Friz, he loves that one!

crumpets.
(I helped save b3ta! spesh., Mon 28 Jun 2010, 10:59, archived)
yeah, i think that's the joke

(__, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 11:13, archived)
what's funny about crumpets?
yes I know that's the joke. for fuck's sake.
(I helped save b3ta! spesh., Mon 28 Jun 2010, 11:15, archived)
yeah, that's the joke right there

(__, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 11:16, archived)
hello friz you big blubbery faced babboon

(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 11:16, archived)
blib blob bloop

(__, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 11:32, archived)
i want to see you do a chunk impression
from the goonies, what was it? the truffle shuffle?
(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 12:17, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/6865610
(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 11:01, archived)
I don't get it.
Crunchy nut cornflakes followed by washing up, laundry hanging out, maybe some wii fit.

Wish i could be a housewife more often rather than have to work.
(I helped save b3ta! rosie posie tingly bongly, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 11:01, archived)
word up parting prince
Some cleft killed himself on my tube line this morning so I was an hour late into work so didn't have time for breakfast.

Have a good weekend?
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 11:01, archived)
Friday got very drunk and told a crying girl that she looked like a dustbin to try and cheer her up. didn't work.
Saturday Bournemouth chillax.

Sunday drove home during the England game back to London and it was DEAD. Not another car on any road/ motorway, 120 all the way home, I was driving like it was an Xbox rally stage.
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 11:03, archived)
I also upset a fat girl on Wednesday

(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 11:04, archived)
I intimated that if we had sex we'd have 'a whale' of a time.

(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 11:04, archived)
good man. I hope you wobbled her arms with disapproval

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 11:05, archived)
I feel a bit guilty actually

(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 11:06, archived)
I would have called a mate over and held his hand so you could give her a hug to make her feel better.

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 11:08, archived)
and she'd end up being a sperm whale

(I helped save b3ta! magnum, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 11:06, archived)
No Stewart, humpback whale
They're all humpback whales when I've finished with them
(I helped save b3ta! magnum, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 11:06, archived)
Or a hump back.

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 11:07, archived)
I went on a stag-do in Plymouth
so no.
(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 11:03, archived)
hey, this should please you
'the karate kid' has no references to karate. they're very definitely doing 'kung' fu. i'm guessing the only reason it's called karate kid is because the story follows the same lines as the original and the kid's mum doesn't understand the difference so she calls it karate

to be honest, the film wasn't that bad. great scene of jackie chan vs 6 kids
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 11:06, archived)
I'm spitting with rage at this miss naming. I hate shit like this.
I hope America makes a movie about Rugby and they throw the ball forwards and wear helmets and body armour.
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 11:09, archived)
i think they just decided to stick with the name of the original rather than call it the kung fu kid
but i can see you are not going to be placated by this
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 11:22, archived)
I'm writing a strongly worded letter to Bruce Lee's ex wife as we speak

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 11:33, archived)
You'd like her
she was well hot in the film
(I helped save b3ta! wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 11:48, archived)
If it has Jackie Chan in it
then I watch it, rain or shine.
(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 11:21, archived)
despite being produced by will smith and his wife and starring their son
it is very watchable
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 11:23, archived)
i'm glad you didn't do a sympathy jump

(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 11:14, archived)
I'm glad the train driver doesn't try and purposefully de-rail his train onto the platform to try and kill you as he feels sorry for an abortion living for so long.

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 11:18, archived)
still, trains are probably designed to run over twigs i expect
at least you wouldn't have made anyone late for work.
(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 11:20, archived)
man, you are GOOD at this

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 11:24, archived)
He'll do a smily to show that he's only joshing in a minute.

(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 11:27, archived)
;)

(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 11:28, archived)
everyone on talk loves my lighthearted banter

(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 11:27, archived)
Make a racist joke now whilst the crowd's warming to you, you'll have them in the palm of your hand.

(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 11:33, archived)
what do you call a black man that has just left the room?

(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 11:34, archived)
Aww, do you remember all those Ethiopian jokes you'd be told at school?
What's the definition of a barcode?
An Ethiopian family photo.
etc.

Happy times. For us. Not them.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 11:40, archived)
What happens when you get loads of black people, burry them up to their neck in the ground, so only their hair is popping out?
AFRO TURF !
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 11:49, archived)
I'm really upset by this. I might have to go to the beach.

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 11:32, archived)
you should come with me
i could use a new pole for my beach brolly
(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 11:33, archived)

a new pole for my beach brolly someone to help me inflate my water wings.
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 11:35, archived)

i need someone to hold me up in the water as well
(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 11:36, archived)
You seem to have some sort of vendetta against me, making snide comments about what ever I post.
Have I upset you or something?

p.s. Your Down's like features would just deflate if a train ran over your head, and the doctor would fix you by telling you to blow on your thumb to make your head dent pop back out again.
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 11:27, archived)
i quite like you actually DG
i think you're alright
(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 11:29, archived)
furry muff
I think you act like a bit of a bi-polar retard if I'm honest.
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 11:31, archived)
see, now where does being nice get me eh?
i might as well have said something less nice.
(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 11:32, archived)
Just being honest dude, it's not like I'm picking on you, it's just that you do do some pretty beakerish/ mungy posts and I call what I see when you decide to try and belm at me
Anyways, doesn't really matter.
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 11:37, archived)
i know, i'm seeing a psychiatrist about it as it's having a negative impact on my life

(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 11:38, archived)
cool.

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 11:41, archived)
Hang on a second.
You're actually claiming that being Shit At Internet is a mental illness?

You must have crippling undiagnosed aspergers.
(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 11:48, archived)
nah, not quite crippling!

(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 11:52, archived)
Lolling here

(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 11:42, archived)
Lolololol
img.moronail.net/img/1/5/6115.jpg
(I helped save b3ta! Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 11:02, archived)
haha

(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 11:03, archived)
this is my picture of the day. SO jealous.
www.b3tards.com/u/890f2f528bd6cef8bca0/pugride.jpg
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 11:07, archived)
WHEE
pugs.cc/pictures/2ndyear/pug-pictures-2/pug-pictures-5.jpg
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 11:10, archived)
Look at the pride on that dog's face.
That's some top stiff upper lippage there.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 11:11, archived)
*GASP*
I need to find a pug to ride as my STEED
(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 11:12, archived)
QUICK! to the DOG'S TRUST!

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 11:18, archived)
I've betrayed the Dogs' Trust
I sold them a cat covered in candyfloss and claimed it was a deformed poodle.
(I helped save b3ta! wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 11:47, archived)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=BxdydrB6ChY&feature=related
(I helped save b3ta! magnum, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 11:04, archived)
It's funny because they both start with the same letter

(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 11:05, archived)
there's a youtube clip of lord of the rings with vuvuzelas which is way funnier than it sounds

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 11:08, archived)
A nice mug of
Littlejohn.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 11:05, archived)

www.popbitch.com/home/2010/06/24/its-richard-littlejohn/
(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 11:07, archived)
Also
www.youtube.com/watch?v=RS5S2Dio2_Y
(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 11:07, archived)

*agrees with Michael Winner*
*does not compute*
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 11:11, archived)
spackers on toast

(I helped save b3ta! VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 11:08, archived)
nothing, just spent an hour waiting in the doctors to be told what i already knew

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 11:10, archived)
bad AIDS?

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 11:12, archived)
nothing so exotic, chest infection, need antibiotics

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 11:17, archived)
An Iced Gem.
I'm going to have banana now. WOO.
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 11:10, archived)
Just the one iced gem? That's a bit poo.

(I helped save b3ta! spesh., Mon 28 Jun 2010, 11:30, archived)
There's a whole box of them in the kitchen.
I might go and trough the lot, just one though is an ideal breakfast.
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 11:45, archived)
DO IT!
then report back what colour your sick is.
(I helped save b3ta! spesh., Mon 28 Jun 2010, 11:55, archived)
Since I'm the only person here that thinks that is funny
because I'm the only person here that sees that sort of thing in student's exams all the time, I call NICHE JOKE because the joke gazes also into you..
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 11:11, archived)
haha!
nice.
plumbing the depths a bit, there...
(I helped save b3ta! wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 11:44, archived)
I can't quite fathom it.

(I helped save b3ta! The Teviot Moose major 5th., Mon 28 Jun 2010, 11:48, archived)
It's just an abyssmal pun.

(I helped save b3ta! wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 11:51, archived)
SO NeAR and yet so far..

(I helped save b3ta! The Teviot Moose major 5th., Mon 28 Jun 2010, 11:53, archived)
The pressure's getting to me

(I helped save b3ta! wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 11:57, archived)
half an hour, wynoh.
half and hour for someone to get it. I nearly lost faith.

or it might just have not been at all funny, I appreciate.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 11:53, archived)
I liked it
but I spent ages trying to think of a pun on Schopenhauer, and failed miserably.
(I helped save b3ta! wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 11:56, archived)