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Hello lovely /talk people.
I know some of you have already had this spammed at you, and to those people I apologise.

To those of you who have not, next month I and another b3tan that's not on /talk a lot (chenobble) are driving to Mongolia to raise money for the Christina Noble Children's Foundation (and also to have fun along the way). We'll drive 10,000 miles in a Nissan Micra that is wholly inappropriate for the journey. We would very much appreciate your help financially, but please note that this will in no way pay for us to have fun - every penny you donate will go to a very worthy charity that helps kids who have to live in hellish conditions that you can't even imagine, unless you're a bit sick. Stop imagining that.

The event we are taking part in is The Mongol Rally, which you can read about here: www.theadventurists.com/the-adventures/mongol-rally
and the all-important link for you to sponsor us, you beautiful people, is here: www.justgiving.com/herdingcats

Thankyou for your time. Spam spam spam, yes I know. Sorry.
(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 14:58, archived)
For the TL;DR crowd:
PLEASE CAN I HAVE MONEY www.justgiving.com/herdingcats
(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:00, archived)
I can't lie to you about your chances
...but you have my sympathies :P
Edit: from looking more into that rally you also appear to have bigger testicles than a large proportion of the male populus
(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee TeaBoy, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:04, archived)
What chances? They've almost hit the target.

(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:05, archived)
People have been generous so far.
I like people. :)
(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:07, archived)
alright
aAaaAaaaaAAaAAaaAaaaAAAaaAArRRRrRRrRRRRrRdvAAaaaaAaaaaAAaaaAAaAAAaArRrRrRRrrRRk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:07, archived)
:D
Hello JA, you sexual behemoth.
(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:09, archived)
Yeah, I'm kind of referring to the whole 'driving 10,000 miles in a micra' thing.
Also: nobody got my Ian Holm impersonation :(
(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee TeaBoy, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:07, archived)
what's wrong with that?
i would love to do that rally.
(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:10, archived)
Nonono, don't get me wrong: it sounds like it would be an amazing experience
It's just that it also looks extremely dangerous o.O
(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee TeaBoy, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:13, archived)
You massive pussy
I did it five years ago
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:22, archived)
You did not just refer to me as a pussy
simply on the merit that you, Grrmachine, a mental with a hardon for the mechanical, went on a jolly purely designed for mentals with hardons for the mechanical.
(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee TeaBoy, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:44, archived)
The only way to reclaim your masculinity is with a cash donation.

(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:45, archived)
i think it sounds like a fantastic, challenging jolly.
and i don't ever have a mechanical hardon. Although if i did have one, i think it would have to be mechanical.
(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:46, archived)
Even if we don't make it I'll have some great stories to tell over and over to people that aren't really interested, when I'm old.

(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:10, archived)
I've just got the feeling your mummy drives a BMW X5.

(I helped save b3ta! Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:15, archived)
I don't even own an mummy

(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee TeaBoy, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:19, archived)
Clicked both of dese.

(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:07, archived)
Thanks Badger.
Did I tell you you're looking smashing today?
(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:08, archived)
i suppose i should get used to these sort of begging letters now i'm going to be a millionaire
dear Sirs,
          fucking do one.
                         yours
                              mongychops

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:04, archived)
Can I have some money for a new carpet, mongy? I'd appreciate it a lot.

(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:08, archived)
i'm not funding your adiction to shake n vac, no way

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:12, archived)
I love you mongy. :)

(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:11, archived)
if you'd waited a couple of months when all the stuffs gone through i would have paid for numerous whores

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:13, archived)
Sadly we set off next month so there's no time to wait.
You can get me a whore at the next bash.
(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:14, archived)
How much dosh do I get for a bumhole picture? I could stick a lego man in there or something if you want.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:13, archived)
i'm not supplying you with more gold to hoard

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:14, archived)
That's OK, I'll grab a few bob from our World Bank that we control in the few days it takes for the money to transfer into the new account.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:25, archived)
Soz
Don't do being begged at. I have got a lovely fish finger butty though. You can't have that either.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:05, archived)
Fair enough.
I'm not begging on my own behalf but I am indeed begging. Enjoy your fish finger butty.
(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:06, archived)
bogus isn't the giving kind
except when it comes to bums and ...rind?
(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:06, archived)
Binky! What's with all these rhymes?
Are you really bored at work?
Shouldn't you spend all that time
Trying not to shirk?
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:13, archived)
printing barcodes, on phone, on hold
boss away, and feeling bold.
(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:27, archived)
Keep your eye out, and if you're quick
Slyly give the bean a flick.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:34, archived)
to drive all that way in a nissan micra
you both must look insane in lycra.
(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:06, archived)
Insanely sexy, perhaps.

(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:12, archived)
sexy 'vark and cute chenobb'll
drive a micra across europle.
(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:39, archived)
I can't afford to feed myself this month, so it's a no from me.

(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:06, archived)
Thankyou for your time.

(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:09, archived)
I would if I could, homes.

(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:10, archived)
I'd like to donate some moral support.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:09, archived)
Always appreciated.

(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:09, archived)

fantastic, good luck
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:10, archived)
Cheers!

(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:12, archived)
how many of the children are you bringing back,
and how much do I need to donate to get one?

preferebly not one of the ones that has to come back in the boot, they never seem to make it
(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:11, archived)
Depends.
For a fiver we'll get you a fairly homely one. Sexy children cost more.
(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:11, archived)
Sounds awesome and something I've always wanted to do. Proper ridiculous trip in a banger.
Will check funds and see if I can help out.
(I helped save b3ta! Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:16, archived)
Cheers!
The link will remain open and available for the foreseeable future. Also, they do this every year so you can always do it yourself... :)
(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:22, archived)
I know man, me and a mate talked about it last year but didn't get our shit together. One day!

(I helped save b3ta! Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:25, archived)
How much is Tom Morgan charging you lot to fund his lifestyle these days?
and are the rules as pathetic as they were last year

good on you, it's a massive laugh
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:22, archived)
The rules are a bit daft, yes.
Should be fun though!
(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:23, archived)
I heard that the car has to be less than ten years old these days
that took all the fun away, for me.
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:26, archived)
you mean my polo wouldn't make it :(

(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:27, archived)
Nope
and if you can't take a wreck, it's not a challenge. Every year the roads get better, so with newer cars it just becomes an endurance thing rather than an adventure. Of course, with no time limit or penalties (because it's not really a rally) you can go as slow as you like and have as much fun as you want on the way, which I hope Aardvark does because there's awesome sights on route, but it's not a rally.
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:29, archived)
Sadly that is true.
Still, it means we have a car that actually works, so I guess that's a good thing.
(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:29, archived)
Also, I don't charge anything for my consultancy services on these matters

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:23, archived)
Awesome, I may have to pick your brains a little before we go.
Thanks matey. :)
(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:28, archived)
I don't think you should go.
It's too far away and your car is rubbish and you might get a sun burn or the runs and then get poorly and end up catching some weird disease that makes a worm eat your brain then a big bad Russian policeman might arrest you for being brainless and lock you away in a hole that has no proper toilet.
(I helped save b3ta! Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:28, archived)
Well we've already decided to go, and if I pull out now I will look like a massive wuss.
You paint an intricate picture of disaster there.
(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:30, archived)
Best give you some money then s'pose.

(I helped save b3ta! Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:42, archived)
I love everyone that donates.
Especially you.
(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:49, archived)
I'm jolly skint so I can't donate
but I'll spam it on twitter and facebook for you.

Looks like a great laugh, enjoy :)
(I helped save b3ta! SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:28, archived)
Thanks very much, lovely lady.

(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:30, archived)
I'll see if I have some money left on payday.

(I helped save b3ta! Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:28, archived)
Cheers!
That'd be smashing. Like you.
(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:31, archived)
*basks in the flattery from the most excellent Aardvark*

(I helped save b3ta! Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:36, archived)
I have a nissan micra, I've never gone off road but I was unable to drive over
this road in winter, I rolled backwards down the hill and had to got the other way.

You can have some money
(I helped save b3ta! VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:34, archived)
Someone anonymous just gave very generously. Was it you?
I don't really anticipate going up or down any hills, or even turning any corners. It should be a breeze.
(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:36, archived)
that road looks bally difficult, old chum

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 15:42, archived)