I'm giving you 27 quid, buy yourself something nice.
What have you bought, you revolting commercial shopping scum?
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 19:33, archived)

Curtain poles.

( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 19:35, archived)

for 27 quid? how much do they cost per foot?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 19:38, archived)

Fuck knows.
I dare say I could get 2 for that.
( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 19:38, archived)

2 feet? that's a very narrow window

( spesh., Tue 21 Jun 2011, 19:40, archived)

I meant 2 poles. Sorry for the confusion.

( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 19:40, archived)

I'm sure grrry can kidnap you a couple and send them over bound and gagged

( spesh., Tue 21 Jun 2011, 19:41, archived)

there's plenty here thanks.

( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 19:42, archived)

WHOOP WHOOP!
CASUAL RACISM ALERT.
( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 19:42, archived)

casual racism always sounds so half-arsed. you could at least try and do it properly.

( spesh., Tue 21 Jun 2011, 19:46, archived)

Formal racism.
Black Thai.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 19:48, archived)

very good

( spesh., Tue 21 Jun 2011, 19:50, archived)

bravo

(arseboon dilbaro arseboon dilbaro, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:03, archived)

Haha

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:07, archived)

nice one MGT! :)

( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:19, archived)

racist

( spesh., Tue 21 Jun 2011, 19:43, archived)

I'll send him a couple of fat ones
now that we've got bacon in the supermarkets, we're also getting muffin tops.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 19:43, archived)

POLSKI SKLEP

( spesh., Tue 21 Jun 2011, 19:47, archived)

Polski sklep sells artykuly spozywcze
swieze kazdego dnia, so you know it's not shit
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 19:51, archived)

I don't know what any of that means, I only know Polski Sklep :(((((((((((

( spesh., Tue 21 Jun 2011, 19:52, archived)

well what does a sklep sell?
it sells foodstuffs, fresh every day. Polish isn't hard*.


*it's arsebendingly impossible
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 19:53, archived)

is sklep shop then? I thought it meant food. Fuck, I don't even actually know what polski sklep means after all :((((((((((((((((((((((((((

( spesh., Tue 21 Jun 2011, 19:55, archived)

Polski Sklep is Polish Shop
a shop that sells Polish stuff like flaki (pig guts), kiszel (a sort of readymix fruit jelly like Angel Delight) and klopsiki in a jar (meatballs).

Now we've got bacon over here, I reckon we got a much better deal.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 19:58, archived)

We got quite a few in Bristol
Lot's of stuff in jars that look a bit scary.
( Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 19:59, archived)

that's what I was thinking of - the dodgy looking sausages in pickle jars

( spesh., Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:01, archived)

the polski skleps round here seem to sell a wide variety of suspicious looking meat products.
is bacon only a recent innovation in pooland then?
( spesh., Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:00, archived)

yeah
millions and millions of pigs, but they don't know how to slice the fuckers up. Or rather, the premium grade meat gets sold to the Krauts, and the Poles eat the leftovers, because they love hooves and guts and lard. Ham's good though.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:09, archived)

Me nana
used to feed me pigs trotters and cold tripe covered in vinegar. Nowt wrong wi'that.
( Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:15, archived)

It was her way of telling you that she wished you'd die in a concentration camp

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:23, archived)

I'm not that fucking old..

( Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:44, archived)

So that's what flaki is
I had a suspicion that it was something along the lines of tripe. It looks rather unappetising floating around in jars of brine.
( Lord Gnome, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:16, archived)

27 digital copies of Swagger Jagger.

( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Tue 21 Jun 2011, 19:35, archived)

Or 1.3 physical copies.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 19:37, archived)

I just don't know why you'd do that, I don't even know you any more, or ever did.

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 19:47, archived)

Awwww..and I wasted mine on nuts.

( Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 19:50, archived)

The Back To The Future trilogy, some popcorn and a bottle of lemon Fanta.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 21 Jun 2011, 19:35, archived)

pco
( broadsword now that's fresh, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 19:38, archived)

yeah, for that I'll even throw in a back issue of Delorean Monthly

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 19:47, archived)

petril

(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 19:36, archived)

That's cheese.

( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 19:37, archived)

:(

(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 19:40, archived)

Go kill self with petril.

( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 19:40, archived)

LOLDRUGS

( spesh., Tue 21 Jun 2011, 19:48, archived)

I dunno it's not quite enough for a decent bottle of whisky,
but rather more than I'd usually spend on anything else.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 19:36, archived)

although my Amazon wishlist probably adds up to about that.

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 19:39, archived)

and I could do with some new underpants

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 19:42, archived)

I approve of new pants
I reckon most people own at least one pair that's a decade old
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 19:45, archived)

I think the last time I bought any was about four years ago,
I occasionally have to throw a pair away because the elastic has gone, and I now have to do my washing a lot more often than I used to.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 19:47, archived)

My oldest pair at the moment are six years old. I love them.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 21 Jun 2011, 19:49, archived)

That's just you
you tight git.
( Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 19:53, archived)

I think I still own a pair that I had when I moved over here
and that was seven years ago, and they weren't new then.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 19:54, archived)

Do they now have a life of their own?

( Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:00, archived)

wine

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 19:37, archived)

9 bottles?

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 19:38, archived)

I'm not homeless.

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 19:39, archived)

you just look it.
and act like it.




and smell like it.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 19:48, archived)

fine but I don't drink piss wine!

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 19:55, archived)

you just drink, then piss, then whine

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 19:58, archived)

Wine not?

( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 19:42, archived)

That's the sort of attitude we need 'round here

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 19:46, archived)

18 bags of marmite cashew nuts.

( Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 19:38, archived)

I read that as marshmallow cashews.
I was a little horrified when I re-read it.
( CowJam, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:05, archived)

Don't be horrified.
They are the food of the gods.
( Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:13, archived)

Yeah, Hades, Percephone, etc

( CowJam, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:15, archived)

tings
www.play.com/Campaign.html?campaign=9220&cid=8018459
( (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 19:38, archived)

well choose something you dim spastic
I'm not giving you vouchers like some gyppo
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 19:39, archived)

two from the bottom, one from the top, Carol

( (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 19:40, archived)

that doesn't make any sense in this scenario
you've missed your chance Dekion, now you'll get nowt
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 19:53, archived)

rightimoff
www.b3tards.com/u/23925b16ee60d4243068/robert_englund_come_on_englund.jpg
( (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 19:57, archived)

tax dodging scum

( spesh., Tue 21 Jun 2011, 19:58, archived)

Just enough to pay for my amazon order, thanks
"It's Not Me, It's You: Impossible Perfectionist Seeks Very Very Very Tidy Woman" Jon Richardson; Hardcover; £7.49

"Cosmos" Carl Sagan; Paperback; £7.79

"Old Grey Whistle Test 40th Anniversary" Various; Audio CD; £10.99
( magnum, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 19:38, archived)

what does that come do, come on, I'm not adding up your shopping list you greedy fuck

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 19:40, archived)

£26.27

( magnum, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 19:41, archived)

Couple of litres of petrol

( broadsword now that's fresh, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 19:44, archived)

yeah, I'll swig a Molotov with you, that sounds like a laugh

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 19:46, archived)

DON'T SET YOURSELF ON FIRE!

( Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 19:50, archived)

Oh man, NOW you tell me
alright herby alpy taxi drivey
( broadsword now that's fresh, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 19:52, archived)

BROADY!!
How are you? Are you ok? Are you?
( Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:01, archived)

All good here ta, how's thizzle in da brizzle?

( broadsword now that's fresh, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:05, archived)

Reet me luvver! It be Gert LUSH
I bin smoovin tha' cat, mint innit!
( Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:13, archived)

Pretty sure that's some downright dirty euphemism

( broadsword now that's fresh, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:23, archived)

more toes

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 19:45, archived)

what do you mean more, you're a fucking eel, you haven't got any fucking toes

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 19:46, archived)

a nerf gun

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 19:45, archived)

nerD gun more like, you fucking nerdy nerd nerd with your nerdish nerdisms

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 19:47, archived)

Yeah.
Well you are all a bum.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 19:48, archived)

well fucking hell balders, I thought we were cool
now I know it's like that, I can't look you in the eye any more.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 19:55, archived)

A ginsters

( executiverocker only wears C&A, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 19:49, archived)

I would buy this and use my own money to make up the difference
www.b3ta.com/talk/7222839
(dibs, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 19:54, archived)

I can't think of a single use for one.

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 19:55, archived)

No dice, I'm not going halves, fuck off, you'll get nothing now you greedy capitalist shitbox

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 19:55, archived)

yeah alright, you already posted it once

( spesh., Tue 21 Jun 2011, 19:56, archived)

www.argos.co.uk/static/Browse/ID72/14417034/c_1/1%7Ccategory_root%7CJewellery+and+watches%7C14416987/c_2/2%7C14416987%7CFashion+jewellery%7C14417034/r_001/4%7CBrands%7CJustin+Bieber%7C1.htm
( moohalaa, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 19:54, archived)

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 19:56, archived)

*squeal*

( moohalaa, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 19:58, archived)

oh my goodness

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 19:56, archived)

dat is well bling innit ya get me?

( spesh., Tue 21 Jun 2011, 19:57, archived)

I don't really know who Justin Bieber is, just that the poor lad gets some terrible mocking

( broadsword now that's fresh, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 19:57, archived)

You can't use squid as currency.

( postal ninja has Transmissible spongiform encephalopathies, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 19:55, archived)

but I've got a sick one, right here, just perfect for a joke with the right setup

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 19:56, archived)

is it an octopus?

( spesh., Tue 21 Jun 2011, 19:58, archived)

omg. all you have to do is add sy and you are ha-larious.

( postal ninja has Transmissible spongiform encephalopathies, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:36, archived)

some polish wodka

( FIEND, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 19:56, archived)

as i've heard it's very strong stuff

( FIEND, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:01, archived)

Monsters on blu-ray
and meat feast pizza, four cans of cider and some tabs and about £8 change.
( CowJam, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 19:57, archived)

is the pizza for you, or someone else?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 19:59, archived)

Me.
It was just a £2.50 one from sainsbury's. I wouldn't spend over a tenner on a pizza for myself.
( CowJam, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:05, archived)

you said 27 million quid right?
i reckon i could haggle em down.
www.metro.co.uk/news/451798-nasa-spaceships-for-sale-only-27-4m
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:05, archived)

you could probably get what's left of Challenger for £2.37

( spesh., Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:07, archived)

451,798 nasa spaceships for sale for only £27.4m?
That's only £60 each!
( CowJam, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:09, archived)

Why thank you!
I'd put it towards an Xbox 360
( h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:06, archived)

no dice, you spend it on the gift, you don't get the cash
and no topping up with your own, I want you to spend 27 or a bit less, that's the concept, you thicko.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:13, archived)

I'll sell you an xbox for £27
I'll throw in a few games too
( CowJam, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 20:19, archived)