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Just had a classic example of charity encouraging weakness in the office.
We've just heard about a colleague who has cancer for the third time. Probably terminal this time.
Yeah, boo hoo and all that, BUT time was people only got cancer once, if that. Nowadays, thanks to the likes of Macmillan and Marie Curie and that, you get people like this having cancer THREE (3) [three] times.
Proof, if it were needed, that charity encourages weakness. Stop the madness, ban charity. Send me your cash. baldmonkey for mod.
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:09, archived)
dear baldmonkey
Sonic The Hedgehog is now 20 years old.
What is your opinion of Sonic The Hedgehog?

Many thanks
Eddie 28 from Kent
(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:11, archived)
Meh.
I was always more of a Mario fan. I never felt in control of Sonic.
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:13, archived)
^this

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:14, archived)
Both of you are pussies

(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee TeaBoy, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:15, archived)
Fuck off.

(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:18, archived)
sonic is an idiot
All he can do is run...that's it. A speedy idiot.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:19, archived)
And spin through stuff, don't forget that.
And turn into SuperSonic, that was the mutt's nuts that was
(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee TeaBoy, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:20, archived)
incorrect
sonic was and is an utter shitwipe.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:24, archived)
I hear even Tails can kick Mario's arse ANY DAY

(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee TeaBoy, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:30, archived)
despite the fact that adam likes them, the sonic games WERE good
sonic 3 was a masterpiece
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:42, archived)
Time to bust out some of the fanfiction!

(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:45, archived)
*opens the 200 page manuscript written on lined paper (some on squared paper as I ran out of lined)*

(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:45, archived)
*sits at your feet*
tell us the one about the purple chaos emerald!
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:57, archived)
Michael Jackson did some of the music for that, if you didn't know that already.

(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:46, archived)
By all accounts he was on board for the early drafts
but was disappointed by the Mega Drive's sound quality so he quit.
(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:50, archived)
I don't hate him or anything.
I just preferred Mario.
Sonic wasn't for me. Not my cup of tea. Still got a master system with it on though.
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:07, archived)
that's alright then

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:14, archived)
SO IS YOUR FACE.

(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:18, archived)
SO ARE YOUR LEGS

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:22, archived)
totally
wtf is he doing? spinning on the spot?? Why???
(I helped save b3ta! RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:15, archived)
How depressing must it be to have just hit 20, yet know that your life peaked over a decade ago?
/no decent Sonic games since Adventure
(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:17, archived)
He doesn't know though, as he's fictional.
Easy mistake to make, so I'll let you off.
(I helped save b3ta! Noit happy baby orangutan, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:20, archived)
YOU.
a) you coming over next weekend? You can stay and everything.
b) SIGN UP FOR CHRISTMAS
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:22, archived)
we have to sign up for Christmas now?
it's always just kind of happened before.
(Unstable-Dan looks like that bloke out of Scream, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:26, archived)
Last year there was only 4 of us.
And one of them was another b3tan's Real Doll.

Nice lass. We had a quick bunk-up in the gents.
(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:29, archived)
I plan on telling everyone about the hardware of the ps3

(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:10, archived)
I am but I have no idea how I'm getting there as driving's probably not an option.
I'll figure something out though.

WHAT IS CHRISTMAS?
(I helped save b3ta! Noit happy baby orangutan, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:48, archived)
WHERE'S MY FUCKING INVITE?
I HATE YOU.
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:18, archived)
It's on the calendar
you sack of shit
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:22, archived)
OH. I WISH I COULD COME.
BUT I CAN'T. PROBABLY.
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:24, archived)
NOT CHRISTMAS YOU FUCK,
THIS WEEKEND. I WANT TO COME AND SLEEP WITH YOU.
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:32, archived)
I like the handheld games (I recently finished Sonic Colours on the DS)
Never liked adventure or any Sonic game that wasn't 2D.
(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:28, archived)
i'd like to try sonic colours
adventure was pretty good, to be fair.

when they make one for the 3ds, i think that will hurt some eyes/brains.
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:43, archived)
You're 28? Oh man, I'm about 4 months off of 28 and you got a fit wife and nice house and all that. I got so much catching up to do !

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:58, archived)
Cancer has rights, too.
Why do you want to kill two out of every three cancers before they're even born?
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:11, archived)
You're the fucking wuss Baldy, this chaps had cancer TWICE already, that's proper hard that is.

(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:13, archived)
It's a woman.
And it isn't "hard"; it's exploiting the system.
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:15, archived)
You're just pissed off that no-one in the office is looking at you.
This is the real-life equivalent of you being /talk's 'resident mental' and then being upstaged by Gilgamesh getting himself sectioned.
(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:21, archived)
Baldmonkey is a poor-man's Gilgy
Discuss.
(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee TeaBoy, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:31, archived)
You're not allowed to talk about Gilgy.
You weren't there at the beginning, you don't know how good he was.
Always In Are Harts.
(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:36, archived)
spazzing back IS theoretically possible...

(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:43, archived)
he hasn't though, has he

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:44, archived)
look im balancing the mean with some nice, let it go

(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:45, archived)
but i wasn't done being mean

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:56, archived)
well you carry right on :)

(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:57, archived)
how would you know?
are you just repeating something you heard from one of the bigger boys?
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:42, archived)
I was here in 2004
I've witnessed this phenomenon
(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee TeaBoy, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:43, archived)
what were you called then?

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:45, archived)
adam_is_saxy

(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee TeaBoy, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:49, archived)
huh, i thought you only popped up recently

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:56, archived)
look at his high number.

(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:56, archived)
yeah, i assumed he must have made a new account

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:59, archived)
i was saying that to give you a reason to think what you thought, no worries, just trying to help

(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:02, archived)
ahhhhhhhh i seeeeeeeee

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:08, archived)
I've asked cr3 to reinstate my old one
Then I'll only be marginally higher.
(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee TeaBoy, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:00, archived)
your older account would have a lower number, dumb-dumb

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:09, archived)
I meant marginally higher than Binky's
Instead of it being a lot higher than it is now
(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee TeaBoy, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:15, archived)
i see
to be fair. you'll still be the same person whatever number you have
i don't think people respond to you with such vitriol because of your account number
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:19, archived)
This is true

(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee TeaBoy, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:22, archived)
Fuck off.

(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:11, archived)
look at my low number
/old school baby
(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:08, archived)
man, i wish i had a 4 figure user number
i was here early enough but i just used to read what people wrote so i didn't sign up
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:10, archived)
I'm glad I made it under the 30,000 mark, where legend says it 'users with a number higher than 30,000 are all shit'

(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:13, archived)
mainly it's the shit people who are shit, regardless of number
so don't worry your pretty little head about that
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:15, archived)
MY HEAD IS MASSIVE THANK YOU VERY MUCH
I'm like an aging Friz
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:15, archived)
Fair comment.

(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:12, archived)
if this was still the previous thread, i'd say this
if you vehicle has eye lashes, do you put masCARa on them?
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:14, archived)
but it's not
so you didn't...?
(I helped save b3ta! RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:16, archived)
im still checking that thread.

(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:17, archived)
the same cancer 3 times or 3 different cancers?
Anyone up for a game of Cancer bingo? To the Radiotherapy Ward!!
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:18, archived)
I was going to post 'I'VE got cancer baldmonkey you insensitive prick'
but then I remembered the hoo-haa over F***'s D**d B**y and thought better of it.
(I helped save b3ta! spesh., Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:19, archived)
Can sir (cancer) get a sense of tumour (humour)?

(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:23, archived)
it's only because cr3 and the mods are so humourless, I might get banned.
Quite clearly: BALDMONKEY FOR MOD
(I helped save b3ta! spesh., Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:27, archived)
well i bought pitta bread, cheese and cucumber and made a delicious sandwich
with mouldy marge and now it just tastes of mould.

also, the woman's garage/husband etc keep ringing my phone and i don't know what they want because i am at work and not at liberty to keep answering my fucking phone for them. she has my insurance details, what more do i have to do?
(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:22, archived)
it tastes kind of like cheese mould though and i have nothing else to eat so im forcing it down.

(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:24, archived)
Don't let her or anyone connected to her talk to you
Not even her insurers. They'll want to swing it their way, only person you need to talk to are your own insurers.
(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee TeaBoy, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:24, archived)
well i listened to the answerphone messages and rang the garage back
because it's the same garage that lost my car key a month ago, so i'll tell them to speak to insurers and wtf is everyone calling me for
(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:26, archived)
im not calling her back ever again though, i called once to provide my insurance details, she refused to give me the equivalent, so screw it.
i've done what i needed to.
if the garage wants to call me on a number i am free to answer then i will happily answer and say go to the insurance you tits.
(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:29, archived)
I was going to lay the smack down
and say that it's not margarine as margarine is not legally allowed to be sold for 40 years or so as it was utter shite, but I think the word has done that whole evolving shit too much and any fat spread is allowed to be called marge.
(I helped save b3ta! RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:30, archived)
sorry my olive oil and water based spread.

(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:33, archived)
until there's a better word, im saying margarine.

(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:33, archived)
Why don't you call it by its brandname instead?

(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee TeaBoy, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:34, archived)
sainsbury's reduced fat olive oil spread?

(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:35, archived)
it's a bit shit if you have to use a brandname to describe such a generic produce.

(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:36, archived)
{other brands are available}
trying to keep B3ta impartial. carry on.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:37, archived)
utterly butterly
wot, not butter?
clover
holy fuck, it's marge.
(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:38, archived)
i just buy butter
I can't deal with the quagmire of modern fat based spread brands, and THEIR LIES!
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:40, archived)
we were stuck up our own arses for a while too
then we couldn't deny it was getting far too expensive to justify.
(I helped save b3ta! RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:43, archived)
stuck up your own arse?
try MargeTM the ultimate lubricant for all your anal adhesions!
(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:44, archived)
hell no
we use Liquid Silk 100ml pump bottle. £9 each.
(I helped save b3ta! RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:52, archived)
hang on
Buying butter makes me stuck up my own arse? What about my collection of antique butter dishes shaped like ladies boobs?
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:47, archived)
I can't believe that I can't believe it's not butter is not butter.
And I can't believe that the stuff I can't believe is not I can't believe it's not butter is not also actually butter.
(I helped save b3ta! RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:42, archived)
My Auntie Marje is ill
I can't believe she's not better.

Sorry..
(wimbley is feeling hungover, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:10, archived)
well "Spread" would be better I think
But I was saying I was actually wrong, or at least ill advised to sit on that high horse.
(I helped save b3ta! RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:38, archived)
but that might mean fish paste or chocolate spread or many things.
people understand the concept of marge.

yeah, i cba to argue either.
(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:40, archived)
Cheddar underwent a similar classification
Lost of rubbish cheeses are being sold as Cheddar, but it's not
(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee TeaBoy, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:34, archived)
Cheddar is pretty hardcore
when you get down and dirty with it.

none of that Cathedral City crap.
(I helped save b3ta! RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:42, archived)
Do you reckon that there's a case for getting the makers of Seriously Strong Cheddar done under the Trades Descriptions Act?

(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:46, archived)
depends how much it can bench!
Boom boom!
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:51, archived)
Absolutely
Go get 'em, tiger
(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee TeaBoy, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:52, archived)
dear baldmonkey
look at my fresh sexual greenhouse it has apple mint, ginger mint, dahlias and lots and several and many fresh things
(I helped save b3ta! moohalaa, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 13:53, archived)
ITS BOOTIFFFLE

(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:02, archived)
get a picture of you and the fella standing in it
then it'll have pansies in there too!
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:13, archived)
I'm not keen on mint
but I respect your choices anyway.
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:15, archived)
alright
I'm tired bm
only got an hour of sleep last night
wanna go to bed man, man pet.
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:07, archived)
FUCK YEAH!
Both my boys were arseholes last night. Took it in turns to stop us sleeping. I feel like shit.
I'm going to fucking riot if SBP isn't in the newsletter this week.
SORT IT OUT ROB. SETUP BEAT PUKE IS AWESOME, YOU NAME-SEARCHING BASTARD.
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:23, archived)