Roses are red
violets are blue
Valentines day rhymes
quality = poo
( Noit happy baby orangutan, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 11:56, archived)

my homemade napkin roses got laughed at this morning :(
and i have received zero cards.

although there was a surprise banana on my desk, from a mystery donor.
( sleepybinky, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 11:57, archived)

Surprise banana
The tastiest of all the bananas
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 11:59, archived)

I haven't given Mrs Eddache a card
I gave her presents (wine, snacks & voucher for massage at nearby beauty place) and took her out for a nice meal on Saturday as Tuesday is a rubbish day for Valentines.
also I'm going out with my mates tonight but it's ok because she gave me permission under the thumb etc

To be fair, she hasn't gotten me a card or present.
( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 12:06, archived)

I am supposed to be getting a present but she just forgot to pick it up before now.

( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 12:06, archived)

oh, THAT old chestnut.
she's leaving you, edd. sorry about that.
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 12:15, archived)

Would you like a solicitor?

( Frisbee OG wanker, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 12:17, archived)

do you know any?

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 12:18, archived)

I don't, sorry
OLOLOLLLOLOL
( Frisbee OG wanker, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 12:18, archived)

ah hahaha...

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 12:18, archived)

I can't see myself ever going out with a girl who gives two shits about Valentine's Day.



Go on, strikethrough merchants, have your fun...
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 14 Feb 2012, 12:18, archived)

strikethrough merchants Mrs Robinson
( Frisbee OG wanker, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 12:19, archived)

gives two
about Valentine's Day.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 12:24, archived)

I knew I could rely on you, Richard.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 14 Feb 2012, 12:28, archived)

I got a card and two chocolates. We tend to ignore valentines day since our anniversary is next week and I'm not made of money.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 14 Feb 2012, 12:09, archived)

anniversary whut are you MARRIED

( sleepybinky, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 13:01, archived)

maybe he had a donor card

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 12:13, archived)

YOU ALL IGNORED MY HOMEMADE ROSES EFFORT
screw you guys too :(
( sleepybinky, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 13:03, archived)

except for janet.

( sleepybinky, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 13:05, archived)

well you had to go and trump it with a story about a banana.
everyone loves bananas.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 13:06, archived)

WHO LAUGHED AT YOUR NAPKIN ROSES?

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 13:03, archived)

the man i gave them to :(
he also questioned the number, as if 7 isn't a perfect number. apparently he "expected a dozen" :(((
( sleepybinky, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 13:04, archived)

that's just rude.
i hope you punched him in the balls.
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 13:07, archived)

no,
i made him a cup of tea and delivered it to him in bed then went out to work so he could get up 4 hours later and go to the Milky Way Adventure Park for fun and adventures.
( sleepybinky, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 13:55, archived)

Roses are red, it's close to magenta:
if we have a kid, I'll eat the placenta.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 14 Feb 2012, 11:57, archived)

That one's from Tom Cruise.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 14 Feb 2012, 11:58, archived)

Roses are red
I'm so alone
I'm going to stretch out my arsehole
and insert my phone
( Noit happy baby orangutan, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 11:58, archived)

Ah!

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 11:59, archived)

Hey my middle name is James too, how about that.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 14 Feb 2012, 12:06, archived)

Holy shit!
So is Windy Pig's. Manolith's isn't though. I'm putting together quite the little report here...
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 12:09, archived)

I have two middle names
One of them isn't James.
But the other one is James.
( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 12:11, archived)

Woah
You just blew my mind
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 12:11, archived)

That's interesting, your first name is my middle name and my first name is your middle name.

( Noit happy baby orangutan, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 12:23, archived)

Mine too!

( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 12:25, archived)

Oh my God
This is getting heavy
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 12:26, archived)

my brother's, too.

( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 12:38, archived)

I know someone called James AND somone whose middle name is James.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 12:50, archived)

mine isn't

( sleepybinky, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 13:01, archived)

Roses are red
Shut up noit
noit, shut up
shut up
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 14 Feb 2012, 11:58, archived)

Roses are red
JackAction's from Wales
I'm not saying he's gay
but he loves sex with males
( Noit happy baby orangutan, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 12:02, archived)

males sheep

/obvious
( Frisbee OG wanker, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 12:18, archived)

Rhyme is just another closed book that could be used as a makeshift frisbee to you, isn't it?

( Noit happy baby orangutan, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 12:24, archived)

charlton are red, millwall are blue, dirty shit cunt scum, just like you

( mongychops, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 11:59, archived)

Roses smell nice, dog poo is pongy.
Go out with you? I'd sooner shag mongy.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 14 Feb 2012, 12:00, archived)

hey, why am i getting dragged into all this shit today, leave off eh

( mongychops, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 12:01, archived)

roses come in a variety of colours
violets are violet
lets get pedantic
before i start a fucken riot
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 12:04, archived)

Roses are red
Violets are red
Blood is red
Red red red red red
( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 12:08, archived)

Roses all come
In multiple colours
The fact we send red ones
Seems quite arbitrary
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 12:08, archived)

Nah, it's because red is the colour of passion, innit.
And of engorged genitalia, which amounts to the same thing, I guess.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 14 Feb 2012, 12:19, archived)

I would prefer this to be in the form of a poem please, Mr.Tea

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 12:25, archived)

Roses are boring, violets banal;
fuck all that shit, how 'bout some anal?
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 14 Feb 2012, 12:32, archived)

Yes it's a 'visual rhyme', fucking sue me already.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 14 Feb 2012, 12:32, archived)

phew
I thought I'd been saying it wrong.
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 12:33, archived)

in my head, I mean
who the hell uses "banal" in a sentence?
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 12:33, archived)

rnuk?

( Noit happy baby orangutan, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 12:34, archived)

um, me, actually :(
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 14 Feb 2012, 12:37, archived)

maybe I'd use it more if I knew I was pronouncing it correctly
this is true for many words, though.
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 12:39, archived)

I was unreasonably pleased with my realisation yesterday
that if you spoonerise "Susan Boyle" you get what sounds like "Booze an' Soil". Which is what I think she is made of.
( Noit happy baby orangutan, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 12:34, archived)

Roses are red
Violets are purple
... bollocks
( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 12:09, archived)

Roses are blue
violets are red
Ok so I'm colour blind
Well fuck you
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 12:11, archived)

Roses are red
Two Hats's middle name is James
Let's just stay home
And play videogames
( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 12:11, archived)

Hooray!

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 12:14, archived)

Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you,
You look like a monkey, and you smell like one too.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 14 Feb 2012, 12:16, archived)

roses are red
mono's a spack
he won't fuck rihanna
because she is, well, a bit grubby, really.
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 12:17, archived)

Haha.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 14 Feb 2012, 12:19, archived)

I get the impression that you like me.

( MONO!, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 12:30, archived)

My missus really loves me
Well, what I mean is
She just sticks around
For my funny shaped penis
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 12:17, archived)

HOLD EVERYTHING! (Lego/Marvel fans only, sorry)
marvel.com/news/story/18104/first_look_avengers_toys_from_lego
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 12:20, archived)

and Batman
i.toynewsi.com/g/index.php?mode=view&album=2012_Toy_Fair%2FLego%2F&pic=IMG_8533.jpg&dispsize=800&start=260
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 12:22, archived)

and Lord of the Rings
www.fbtb.net/2012/02/12/lego-toy-fair-2012-lord-of-the-rings/

That's it, I promise
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 12:22, archived)

Can actually still buy proper Lego sets that you can make things with
or is it basically just shitty little action figures these days?
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 14 Feb 2012, 12:28, archived)

you can still get teh normal stuff

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 12:31, archived)

Phwoar, Lego Black Widow is a fox!

( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 12:25, archived)

Why don't female lego figurines have tits?
It makes fucking them that much less arousing
( Noit happy baby orangutan, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 12:47, archived)

hulk looks brill
but i'm a DC man, i want my Superbloke and Batfella
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 12:30, archived)

irn mn looks like a fat headed gimp

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 12:32, archived)

Roses are Frisbee
Violets are Frisbee
Frisbee Frisbee Frisbee
Frisbee FrisbeeFrisbeeFrisbeeFrisbeeFrisbeeFrisbeeFrisbeeFrisbeeFRISBEEFRISBEEFRISBEEFRISBEEFRISBEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE *convulses*
( Frisbee OG wanker, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 12:21, archived)

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 12:25, archived)

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz Frisbee
( Frisbee OG wanker, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 13:01, archived)

Shit in a bag
Shit in a basket
I'd love you more
If you were in a casket
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 12:24, archived)

Lilacs are lilac,
bluebells are blue,
let's state the obvious,
tautologies are true
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 12:27, archived)

I like this.

( Noit happy baby orangutan, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 12:28, archived)

By definition, almost.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 14 Feb 2012, 12:29, archived)

I saw a card, it say
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I've got a knife
So get in my van
( MONO!, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 12:28, archived)

/lazy
www.b3ta.com/talk/4459091
www.b3ta.com/talk/2613649
www.b3ta.com/talk/2524027
www.b3ta.com/talk/569750
www.b3ta.com/talk/312897
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 12:29, archived)

you can't rhyme 2524027 with 312897

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 12:32, archived)

Roses are red
My penis is purple
Unzip my fly
Slurple slurple slurple.
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 12:29, archived)

Roses are red
and so's a red lily
de dum de doo doo
on my red hot willy
( broadsword, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 12:30, archived)

Zebra's are white
Zebra's are black
Janet has a onesie
Gonz would tap that
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 12:30, archived)

Violets are violet
Roses are rose
Lotion in basket
Or it gets the hose
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 12:31, archived)

I also like this.

( Noit happy baby orangutan, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 12:33, archived)

Roses, when real, are not made of plastic.
But these ones will do, so fuck me, you spastic.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 14 Feb 2012, 12:35, archived)

Raw says our raid,
Violence our brew,
Suck her sheet,
And sew her ewe.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 12:44, archived)

okaaaaay...

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 12:46, archived)

Roses are biomass
violets are biomass
you are biomass
I consume all biomass
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 12:48, archived)

Brilliant.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 14 Feb 2012, 12:51, archived)

Roses are red, violets are blue
everything is fodder for the Great Cthulhu.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 14 Feb 2012, 13:03, archived)

haha.

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 13:08, archived)

Rose are red
And violets are twisted
Bend over love
You're about to be fisted
(Eukanuba, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 12:50, archived)

Roses are #FF0000, violets are #0000FF;
fuck me, I actually looked those up - what a sad cunt.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 14 Feb 2012, 12:54, archived)

you needed to look them up?
violets are more like #9999FF though.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 13:00, archived)

I may be a nerd, but I'm not *that* much of a nerd.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 14 Feb 2012, 13:06, archived)

Roses are chocolates
and so is a Mars
the ending to this
will involve your bottom
( broadsword, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 12:55, archived)

Roses are red.
Sean Penn is gay.
Let's nuke Beunos Aires.
Hip hip hooray.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Tue 14 Feb 2012, 13:01, archived)

My attempts at seduction
oft end in failure
so please can you show me
your genitalia
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 13:06, archived)

My underwear's red with brown streaks of poo.
I shouldn't have had that big vindaloo.
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 16:11, archived)

Roses are flowers. Violets are flowers. I've been on B3ta for hours and hours.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 16:21, archived)