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SUNDAY MOTHERFUCKERS
I've been up two hours. I've got a ham on the boil and a vat of ragu brewing on the stove. The kids are fed and only one of them has shit her pants. And I'm on my fourth cup of tea.

I'm the best wife ever.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 3 Feb 2013, 9:52, archived)
I've been up for two hours too
We could be wake up buddies
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Sun 3 Feb 2013, 10:02, archived)
You didn't even kiss me as you left.
:(
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 3 Feb 2013, 10:02, archived)
I bit your bum though
That counts for something
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Sun 3 Feb 2013, 10:04, archived)
Hot ding!
I might make a rice pudding while the oven is on.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 3 Feb 2013, 10:07, archived)
Devon knows how they make it so creamy

(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Sun 3 Feb 2013, 10:07, archived)
With cream.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 3 Feb 2013, 10:07, archived)
Slower, slower, I'm trying to write this down

(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Sun 3 Feb 2013, 10:10, archived)
Rice pudding, the most unfulfilling of all pudding.

(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Sun 3 Feb 2013, 10:20, archived)
Your mum must have been utterly fucking shit.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 3 Feb 2013, 10:27, archived)
No'ffence like.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 3 Feb 2013, 10:30, archived)
yours was excellent
especially last night
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 3 Feb 2013, 10:40, archived)
That's very thoughtful of you.
My dad's having his kidneys scanned on Monday so he's been a bit lax on the old rumpy pumpy duties recently. Thanks.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 3 Feb 2013, 10:44, archived)
it's fucking grim, rice and milk does not make a pudding

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Sun 3 Feb 2013, 11:18, archived)
But what about the skin on it???????????
That's the best bit
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Sun 3 Feb 2013, 11:21, archived)
that is proper grim too, i'm no fan of these working class puddings

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Sun 3 Feb 2013, 11:22, archived)
never took you for a snob mongy, thought you were a man of the people

(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Sun 3 Feb 2013, 11:27, archived)
i'm not a fan of anything that dinner ladies forced me to consume, rice pudding, gypsy tart and egg flan can all get fucked

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Sun 3 Feb 2013, 11:31, archived)
never had gypsy tart
you southerners and your fancy food
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Sun 3 Feb 2013, 11:32, archived)
it was some form of coffee tart thing, who thought a coffee flavoured thing should be fed to 8 year olds is a fucking cunt

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Sun 3 Feb 2013, 11:43, archived)
Sounds pretty lol to me.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 3 Feb 2013, 11:45, archived)
No.
But milk and rice and sugar and cream and vanilla and nutmeg makes a pudding.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 3 Feb 2013, 11:42, archived)
yeah, then you have to stir jam or chocolate into it to make it taste nice, fuck that i'll have onion rings cheers

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Sun 3 Feb 2013, 11:49, archived)
NUTMEG?
I ain't a Starbucks
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Sun 3 Feb 2013, 11:52, archived)
That's still warm, lumpy milk.

(I helped save b3ta! Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Sun 3 Feb 2013, 12:38, archived)
Yeah you need to add tonnes of shit to it to make it taste nice.
Leave the fucking rice out in the first place.
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Sun 3 Feb 2013, 12:39, archived)
anyone who eats rice that doesn't live within walking distance of a paddy field is a cunt, i'm surprised at shambles lack of rules here

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Sun 3 Feb 2013, 12:47, archived)
I fucking love a bit of rice pudding, with a drizzle of golden syrup.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 3 Feb 2013, 12:01, archived)
I might just copy you now.
It'll do me for breakfast for a few days.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 3 Feb 2013, 12:01, archived)
And this is why you're better than all of these people and always will be.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 3 Feb 2013, 13:48, archived)
Vile. Anyone who enjoys eating a pudding with the appearance and texture (and probably taste) of congealed spunk is clearly a massive gay.

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sun 3 Feb 2013, 13:05, archived)
I can't work out if you've never seen rice pudding or never seen spunk.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 3 Feb 2013, 14:03, archived)
I've got a glass of orange juice,
OUT OF A CARTON. Yeah! Fuck you.
(I helped save b3ta! Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Sun 3 Feb 2013, 10:15, archived)
Why aren't you drinking it straight from the carton, you perfumed ponce?

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 3 Feb 2013, 10:28, archived)
It's a 2l carton. It will go everywhere.
Come on Shambles, get a grip.
(I helped save b3ta! Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Sun 3 Feb 2013, 10:34, archived)
Are you saying that your feeble little pin arms aren't capable of lifting a two kilo weight and holding it with adequate stability above your gaping maw?

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 3 Feb 2013, 10:47, archived)
That's pretty much it.

(I helped save b3ta! Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Sun 3 Feb 2013, 10:49, archived)
Oh.
Oh right. Soz.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 3 Feb 2013, 10:49, archived)
well I have been up three hours and I've been to work and back and had four different kinds of toast and after Batman I think I'll go for a run

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sun 3 Feb 2013, 10:24, archived)
Well that's just wrong.

(I helped save b3ta! Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Sun 3 Feb 2013, 10:26, archived)
Some days I think GE must be the best person of all time
then he posts stuff like that and I have to question myfoundations
(I helped save b3ta! magnum, Sun 3 Feb 2013, 11:42, archived)
I've only shit me self once so far today!
We're all winners.
(Brigadier an old boot sitting on a man's face - forever, Sun 3 Feb 2013, 10:24, archived)
I find that once the drawers are full of shit it doesn't really matter how much extra you add over the course of your day.
The mistake that a lot of amateurs make is to change their drawers and go back to square one. The clean-panted fools.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 3 Feb 2013, 10:31, archived)
what people really need are no pants but bum flaps

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sun 3 Feb 2013, 10:35, archived)
If it's going to be a long day I sometimes just strap a nose bag to my arse.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 3 Feb 2013, 10:40, archived)
I've had sushi for breakfast and I'm going to fiddle with the BMW in a bit
I'm stuck in an 80s timewarp
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 3 Feb 2013, 10:54, archived)
What colour is your shell suit?

(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Sun 3 Feb 2013, 11:38, archived)
black with purple and turquoise

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 3 Feb 2013, 11:50, archived)
That matches my pants.

(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Sun 3 Feb 2013, 12:06, archived)
I'm also gonna fiddle with my BMW. It's full of mud and I need to make sure nothing important has fallen off the bottom.

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sun 3 Feb 2013, 13:03, archived)
i'm waiting on my wallpaper steamer to boil, exciting times

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Sun 3 Feb 2013, 11:14, archived)
Living the dream.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 3 Feb 2013, 11:42, archived)
doing this has made me realise i have no idea what the current trends in decorating are, i might have to bring a tart home :(

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Sun 3 Feb 2013, 11:52, archived)
What you need is a feature wall, it elongates the room and creates a focal point.
Plus when you're having a dinner party, if no one else brings it up, you can say "What I needed was a feature wall, it elongates the room and created a focal point. Plus, when I'm having dinner parties, like now, I can mention how it elongates the room and creates a focal point.".
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 3 Feb 2013, 12:21, archived)
i think someone mentioned this, called it an accent wall or summat, fucked if i know, i might just council house cream the fucking lot

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Sun 3 Feb 2013, 12:40, archived)
60 minute makeover is on ITV+1

(I helped save b3ta! magnum, Sun 3 Feb 2013, 12:23, archived)
i think i'd rather take my chances with a tart to be fair, cheers tho mags

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Sun 3 Feb 2013, 12:42, archived)
The sofa sellers of Bexley are smiling this morning.

(I helped save b3ta! Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Sun 3 Feb 2013, 12:51, archived)
new bed first neps, i've never been happy with the over height one i bought last year

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Sun 3 Feb 2013, 12:53, archived)
Oh man
nothing like stripping multiple layers of wallpaper to make you want to kill
(I helped save b3ta! magnum, Sun 3 Feb 2013, 11:43, archived)