morning

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 8:16, archived)

good toimes

( $$ ✅, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 8:16, archived)

Did JLC actually have a talent of some sort?
Or am I right in thinking that he built an entire career based around having an amusing accent?
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 8:34, archived)

the latter, but he's hardly alone in the comedy world in that regard

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 8:37, archived)

True enough
Poor Paddy McGuiness :(
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 8:37, archived)

paddy martin
( vladimir The Days Pass Quickly Immersed in the Shadow of Et, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 9:03, archived)

you young'uns won't remember but in the 1980s gerry adams was so funny that he wasn't allowed to speak on TV in case people did themselves an injury laughing and had to have a day off work

( vladimir The Days Pass Quickly Immersed in the Shadow of Et, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 9:07, archived)

your tone is antagonistic and you're making me very angry

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 10:27, archived)

hang on I think you are forgetting that he does have a beard as well

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 8:41, archived)

yeah boi

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 8:34, archived)

respect. not maximum respect, you've got to earn that, but close. real close.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 8:18, archived)

i'm going to make it on my own!

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 8:36, archived)

All we need now
Is a shot of you getting off a bus in the big city, smiling as you gaze up at the skyscrapers around you
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 8:37, archived)

Or 'down at the skyscrapers' as the case may be

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 8:39, archived)

lol

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 8:50, archived)

then it starts snowing, manolith gazes towards the heavens and spins around on his heels. as the camera moves upwards towards the sky, we see him dancing and frolicking in the beautiful pure white snow then frank butcher runs him over.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 8:44, archived)

this may take a while to shoot

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 8:49, archived)

well it didn't take you long to turn back to your normal negative self, shame on you

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 8:52, archived)

i didn't say i wasn't going to do it
i just want to get it RIGHT
( manolith hooray for me, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 8:55, archived)

stop giving me problems, you're paid to bring me solutions

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 9:05, archived)

stop paying him in non-matching buttons and trolley tokens and he might start bringing you some

( vladimir The Days Pass Quickly Immersed in the Shadow of Et, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 9:09, archived)

he doesn't know the difference

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 9:11, archived)

I DO SO
i bite them all when you give them to me
( manolith hooray for me, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 9:45, archived)

i have recieved your request to be paid in pillows

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 9:47, archived)

Ok, shut it down

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 10:08, archived)

Hello hello

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 8:22, archived)

alright bono

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 8:36, archived)

I wasn't expecting this

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 8:37, archived)

gotta throw the odd curveball

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 8:57, archived)

I don't know why you say goodbye I say hello

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 8:40, archived)

because unfortunately due to a temporal accident you are stuck approximately three minutes in the past relative to everything around you

( vladimir The Days Pass Quickly Immersed in the Shadow of Et, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 9:12, archived)

what's the future like, vlad?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 9:16, archived)

fucking terrible

( vladimir The Days Pass Quickly Immersed in the Shadow of Et, Fri 5 Jun 2015, 10:23, archived)

update: still fucking terrible
also, I am the only one to have survived, nobody else replying here, I am all alone in the future
( vladimir The Days Pass Quickly Immersed in the Shadow of Et, Sun 7 Jun 2015, 10:12, archived)

*tumbleweed*

( vladimir The Days Pass Quickly Immersed in the Shadow of Et, Mon 8 Jun 2015, 23:14, archived)

oh well you would say that wouldn't you

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 8:29, archived)

would AND did, motherfucker

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 8:36, archived)

alright don't get all up in my grill

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 8:39, archived)

two hats still hasn't invited me to a barbecue

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 8:51, archived)

really? I'm going round for one this weekend

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 8:59, archived)

that turncoat bastard
the worst part is, i'm not even surprised
( manolith hooray for me, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 9:18, archived)

I am, after the last one he said he was definitely going to invite you next time

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 9:27, archived)

:'(

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 9:39, archived)

hahah you're a git

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 10:08, archived)

wuv oo!

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 10:11, archived)

I will make food for you, but it'll be sub-standard
SUB-STANDARD
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 10:13, archived)

you're too proud to do that, don't lie

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 10:17, archived)

Alright fine
But I'll use Warburton's bread rolls instead of making my own, That'll show you.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 10:20, archived)

thank god for that

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 10:23, archived)

manoning

( Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Thu 4 Jun 2015, 8:47, archived)

coloning

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 8:58, archived)

I now feel irrigated.

( Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Thu 4 Jun 2015, 9:37, archived)

'sup, G?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 9:03, archived)

*gang signs*

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 9:19, archived)

*wrong gang sign*

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 9:26, archived)

the crips and the bluds are all afraid of the Wide Awake Club

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 9:29, archived)

I had a friend that used to do the wacawave quite a lot.
It never caught on, though.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 9:41, archived)

Timmy Mallett once hit me with his mallet and it knocked my glasses off
I've never forgiven him
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 10:11, archived)

I'm still waiting for you to post highlights from his twitter feed.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 10:39, archived)

Oh yeah
I'd better check on that. Hope he's still alive.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 10:46, archived)

Holy shit!
brillianttv.co.uk/timmymallett/shop.html
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 10:49, archived)

"Celebrating something special?
Get a unique, original, personal in-vision message from Timmy! It's the ultimate personal present for that special occasion!"

ONE HUNDRED AND EIGHT POUNDS
( manolith hooray for me, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 10:51, archived)

I know, right?
For a hundred quid I'd expect him to do a kids party
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 10:52, archived)

He has an iPhone app!!!

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 10:53, archived)

And with testimonies like these, he can't lose:
"My daughter in Japan is delighted! I recomend you as the most helpful e-business that I have come across!
Brian (Whaley)"

"We had a brilliant time reliving our childhood with all the Timmy stuff!
The birthday girl screamed so much the boss came in to play too!"
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 10:54, archived)

i got distracted by lyndsay from sydney massive tits
brillianttv.co.uk/timmymallett/images4/lyndsay-roy.jpg
( mongychops, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 10:57, archived)

:O

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 10:59, archived)

i hope that by noticing her massive tits over everything else on that website it doesn't make me seem like a pervert or anything

( mongychops, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 11:08, archived)

Nah, I think you've dodged that bullet

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 11:17, archived)

brillianttv.co.uk/timmymallett/stunts.html
( manolith hooray for me, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 10:58, archived)

good god
I have a few 'barmy' suggestions for him
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 11:08, archived)

It's that kind of lolwakiness that could really turn this place around, see if you can get him to sign up.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 11:39, archived)

Couldn't you just club together with a load of other unfortnates named Paul?

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 11:36, archived)

I'm sure 'Timmy on the Tranny' was a good name for a radio show at the time

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 10:51, archived)

i just bought one of those badges for my friend tim
i assume he'll wear it all the time
( manolith hooray for me, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 10:56, archived)

Ha, lovely

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 10:59, archived)

Not any more ahahahahaohwait yes it is.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 9:26, archived)

you silly goose

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 10:51, archived)

Morning, sorry I'm late

( Frisbee OG wanker, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 9:35, archived)

no, don't bother apologising. i'm sorry you're alive

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 9:42, archived)

terrible bullying!
MODS!

oh...
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 9:48, archived)

he fed me a blackadder line, what was i supposed to do?!

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 9:49, archived)

That was a line?

( Frisbee OG wanker, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 9:50, archived)

youtu.be/1BOzOxry6lA
( manolith hooray for me, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 10:10, archived)

Hm, well there you go then

( Frisbee OG wanker, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 10:25, archived)

good job you didn't overreact to the post and get all huffy, eh?

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 10:49, archived)

I know right? Thank fuck for that

( Frisbee OG wanker, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 11:20, archived)

oh yeah i know it now

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 9:55, archived)

Hey don't be like that
I'm very glad you're alive, with your flowing southern locks of hair, your cheeky smile, your dead, dull eyes and your lack of impact in this forum
( Frisbee OG wanker, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 9:50, archived)

*handbags*

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 9:56, archived)

You forgot to mention his dogshit-stained index finger and abused sagging anus.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 10:05, archived)

it's so cute when you guys team up

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 10:08, archived)

Where did all this come from?
Come on, Adam...you used to be coohahaha sorry I couldn't finish that
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 10:10, archived)

Bastard :D
'Ello gawjus
( Frisbee OG wanker, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 10:24, archived)

Alright love?

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 10:25, archived)

Yeah I'm okay I gurss
Fundraising is a pain in the arse but training is going well. Better weather is definitely helping.
How about you?
( Frisbee OG wanker, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 10:35, archived)

Yeah, alright
Going to Italy later in the year, so I'm looking forward to that
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 10:42, archived)

Where in Italy?
I always wanted to go. Can I go instead of you?
( Frisbee OG wanker, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 10:44, archived)

Nah m8
Rome innit
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 10:45, archived)

The birthplace of modern coffee. I'm only a little bit jealous.
You have to eat all the things.
( Frisbee OG wanker, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 11:21, archived)

Oh yes

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 11:26, archived)

don't care for this morning, i'll wait for a new one

( mongychops, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 10:09, archived)

that is your inalienable right as a forum citizen

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 10:11, archived)

Turns out I've got 99 problems and a bitch is one, ffs

( mongychops, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 10:15, archived)

turns out you can't trust rappers

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 10:20, archived)

Who else is lying to us?

( mongychops, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 10:28, archived)

man, at this point it'd be quicker to list who isn't

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 10:34, archived)

charles and possibly eddie

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 10:36, archived)

I've never really trusted opera singers

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 10:35, archived)

Never heard of her, is she Indian?

( mongychops, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 10:43, archived)

she was the one jade goody called a paki on big brother

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 11:07, archived)

you don't hear much about jade anymore, reality tv stars should take note, fame is fleeting when you have no talent

( mongychops, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 11:10, archived)

Should I stop wanking over that video of the time she got her disgusting flabby tits out now that she's dead

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 11:49, archived)

Risky strategy

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 10:37, archived)

reporting this death threat to the mods

( mongychops, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 10:41, archived)

and yet they will do nothing

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 4 Jun 2015, 10:49, archived)