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hi bumhole's
Queef here with a cool afternoon thread for you. Only cool people allowed here.
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 12:11, Reply)
Hi

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 15 Oct 2025, 12:17, Reply)
can't you read?
OUT
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 12:34, Reply)
Fuck him, Queen Smegwin, fuck him

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 14:54, Reply)
is that a typo
or do you know something?
(sticklebrlcks that's Mr Bricks to you πŸ“, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 17:46, Reply)
We are not amused

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 18:51, Reply)
Message received and understood, I'll sit this one out.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 12:30, Reply)
Hey don't be so hasty m8

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 12:36, Reply)
I complained to a courier this morning because they made an egregious delivery error which the ambulance service correctly told us "may have been fatal to the public".
They replied and said "I am sorry for the inconveniences cause with regards to the mentioned parcel." So that's alright then.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 13:19, Reply)
I think that's the first time I've ever deployed the word "egregious" in a serious sentence,
which I guess *does* make me cool.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 13:20, Reply)
it fucken does

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 13:22, Reply)
/chat is srs bsns

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 17:38, Reply)
You'd explicitly instructed them not to leave your Rohypnol delivery with a neighbour?

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 17:39, Reply)
A big box containing four filled ambulance pouches lol
The courier took it to the same building number, I'll give him that. Admittedly it wasn't an ambulance station as stated on the address label, it was a residential house a mile away on a different street, but he obviously looked at the welcome mat and the catflap and thought "yep, this is the place" and left it sitting in the rain. Fortunately the neighbour watched this happen and went to take it inside before noticing it was addressed to the ambulance station, and took it there rather than injecting himself with all the drugs therein.

Thank fuck it wasn't garold, or we'd be reading his OD liveblog right now.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 18:06, Reply)
help i'm lost

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)β”Œ Κ…(́◑◝)Κƒ, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 12:39, Reply)
take a pew
everything's ok
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 13:22, Reply)
I shouldn’t be here

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 12:50, Reply)
I've got to call my boss to resign later
not looking forward to that, he's a great bloke
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 13:23, Reply)
If he’s as good of a boss as you say he’ll be happy for you
That, or he’ll kick you in the gunt
(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 14:30, Reply)
Make him a platter with 'I RESIGN' spelled out in prosciutto

(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti., Wed 15 Oct 2025, 14:37, Reply)
You don't have to resign, just don't turn up for work ever again.
With a bit of luck it will take them a while to work out that they should stop paying you.
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 17:42, Reply)
*Fonzie's*

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 13:04, Reply)
eyyyyyy

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 13:14, Reply)
*sits on it*

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 13:48, Reply)
erect-amundo

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 17:44, Reply)
Who is the arbiter of cool? I need to know if I’m cool or not.

(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 13:07, Reply)
it's me m8, you're safe

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 13:14, Reply)
If you have to ask, you're not cool enough

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 13:28, Reply)
Ah, piss.

(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 13:35, Reply)
OK, here now.
So what happens when not cool people post, do you ignore them or just delete the entire thread?
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 13:07, Reply)
I haven't really thought it through tbh

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 13:15, Reply)
Am I cool?
I don’t believe in transformers though?

You know those chicks with dicks…does that make me cool?
(Chocco The Real Spanishfy, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 13:18, Reply)
well from what I can see in the media, being mental is cool nowadays so maybe you are

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 13:24, Reply)
I may be mental
But I am not that mental that I believe a man is a woman etc.

Unless it’s you.
(Chocco The Real Spanishfy, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 13:30, Reply)
alright JK, get back to writing the wizard books now, there's a good lass

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 13:31, Reply)
Oh no, you are one of those fucking blue haired insane Fucknuts that believes in 300 genders aren’t you?
Which one of them do you identify as? A wanker?
(Chocco The Real Spanishfy, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 13:41, Reply)
Well, that escalated quickly.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 13:46, Reply)
Right though…yeah?

(Chocco The Real Spanishfy, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 14:09, Reply)
I can see you're far too clever to argue with, so I'm just going to go along with whatever you say.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 14:20, Reply)
So that’s a fucking yes then.
Go get some blue rinse
(Chocco The Real Spanishfy, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 14:41, Reply)
Why, if I already have blue hair?
I'm beginning to think that you might actually be a fucking idiot.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 14:47, Reply)
It doesn't understand hair colour possibilities

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 14:55, Reply)
I think it's back on cocaine again, it hasn't shitposted this furiously and incoherently for ages.
I'm amazed its heart hasn't exploded yet, can only be a matter of time now.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 15:13, Reply)
lol

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt, Thu 16 Oct 2025, 20:23, Reply)
So edgy
Wanna cyber?
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 13:49, Reply)
You're right, it's definitely Linehan rather than Rowling.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 13:57, Reply)
I do

(I helped save b3ta! $$ βœ…, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 14:14, Reply)
I know YOU do, you bloody rascal!

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 14:44, Reply)
Oh no, you’re one of those fucknuts that gets angry about people just trying to live their lives without it having any impact on you whatsoever, aren’t you?

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 14:34, Reply)
But it does have an impact on me.
On all of us.

You fucking knob.

Forcing me to call people things they aren’t is an impact isn’t it?
(Chocco The Real Spanishfy, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 14:42, Reply)
No-one is forcing you though are they

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 14:43, Reply)
I might force it to choke on rancid ball batter though

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 14:55, Reply)
Fucking try me

(Chocco The Real Spanishfy, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 14:57, Reply)
Ah, yes
The anti-trans fuckwit who writes under the pseudonym of Robert Galbraith.
The only woman since Debbie McGee to successfully milk a small wizard for decades.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 14:16, Reply)
lol

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 14:30, Reply)
That second sentence is going to stay with me

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword now that's fresh, Thu 16 Oct 2025, 18:07, Reply)
Good

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 16 Oct 2025, 19:50, Reply)
*flashes minge*

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 13:32, Reply)
*sniffs*
*faints*
(Chocco The Real Spanishfy, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 13:42, Reply)
We've all had one off the wrist to Eva Lin, m8

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 15 Oct 2025, 13:48, Reply)

Lin Braun
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 13:49, Reply)
Tong tian lao shu xia jiang yr nan
Eva Lin is known for Dan bo dan (1981), Tong tian lao shu xia jiang nan (1978) and Assault of Final Rival (1978).
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)β”Œ Κ…(́◑◝)Κƒ, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 17:25, Reply)
Bit racist.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 15 Oct 2025, 22:40, Reply)
Yo

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 13:28, Reply)
sup

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 13:32, Reply)
Naink

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 14:14, Reply)
Safe

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a πŸ””πŸ”š, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 18:55, Reply)
Hi, fellow truth seekers

(I helped save b3ta! $$ βœ…, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 14:14, Reply)
Is a certain fucking lunatic posting in our midst again, by any chance?

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 15 Oct 2025, 15:08, Reply)
Yes but this place has attracted several certain fucking lunatics over the years.
So who can say which one it is?
(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 15:21, Reply)
Well I've got a fairly good idea.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 15 Oct 2025, 16:51, Reply)
New oven delivered, it arrived much earlier than they said so they had to deal with the fumes from my 'breakfast', hope the driver is ok

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)β”Œ Κ…(́◑◝)Κƒ, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 15:22, Reply)
sounds sexual
count me in
(I helped save b3ta! $$ βœ…, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 16:31, Reply)
do you mean you'd had a massive shit?
I'm struggling with the quote marks' significance tbh
(sticklebrlcks that's Mr Bricks to you πŸ“, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 17:06, Reply)
they have the same significance as yours, except they're double

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)β”Œ Κ…(́◑◝)Κƒ, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 17:11, Reply)
the room was thick with weed smoke, herbal breakfast innit

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)β”Œ Κ…(́◑◝)Κƒ, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 17:23, Reply)
aha righto

(sticklebrlcks that's Mr Bricks to you πŸ“, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 17:47, Reply)
Is Spanishfly dead yet?
I mean, I fucken hope so, but y'know
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 16:51, Reply)
Noncemurder is all the rage these days, so you never know.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 15 Oct 2025, 17:13, Reply)