En route to Heathrow
The next 24hrs will be fucking awful
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 17 Feb 2026, 7:09, archived)

Safe travels m8
Try not to shit yourself on the plane
( Cheers Cheers, Tue 17 Feb 2026, 7:13, archived)

also try not to plane yourself on the shit

( MiseryCunt you cannot be sirious, Tue 17 Feb 2026, 7:14, archived)

I'm planning on a full English and a couple of pints shortly
Deffo pants-shitting material
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 17 Feb 2026, 7:25, archived)

RIP your fellow passengers

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 17 Feb 2026, 7:27, archived)

Rape your fellow passengers

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 17 Feb 2026, 8:18, archived)

Marathon b3ta session?

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Tue 17 Feb 2026, 7:20, archived)

Watch some films.
I saw Inheritance with Rhys Ifans on the way to Bali, good chase scenes
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 17 Feb 2026, 7:21, archived)

I've downloaded several films and series
Also Cathay Pacific apparently has 14 Jackie Chan films available. Hopefully not that abomination of Around the World in 80 Days with Steve Coogan. What a disgrace that was
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 17 Feb 2026, 7:24, archived)

I've downloaded several films and series
Also Cathay Pacific apparently has 14 Jackie Chan films available. Hopefully not that abomination of Around the World in 80 Days with Steve Coogan. We imported two-thirds of our cheese.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 17 Feb 2026, 8:01, archived)

I'm marketing my pork as I type this

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 17 Feb 2026, 8:36, archived)

Christ, now I've got a mental image of Liz Truss doing an OnlyFans saying "I'm opening up my pork markets"

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 17 Feb 2026, 8:43, archived)

She can import two thirds of my cheese.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 17 Feb 2026, 8:47, archived)

Thank fuck she only ever said two things that anyone remembers.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 17 Feb 2026, 8:57, archived)

"MMMMNEURRGH I AM A TORY SPAZ AND I LOVE IT UP MY COUNTRY'S CREDIT RATING FROM THE INTERNATIONAL MARKETS"

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 17 Feb 2026, 9:14, archived)

actual lol

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 17 Feb 2026, 12:36, archived)

"Pork markets". "I will outlast that lettuce".

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 17 Feb 2026, 13:01, archived)

It'll be much longer than that

( mongychops, Tue 17 Feb 2026, 9:17, archived)

12h40 to Hong Kong
1.5hrs there
9h to Sydney

So my wife says anyway

I don't have anyone in front of me for the first leg thank fuck. I'm a lanky bugger so this is great news
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 17 Feb 2026, 9:50, archived)

That is a result. Shame you couldn't stop in Thailand for a couple of days. Legal weed

( mongychops, Tue 17 Feb 2026, 10:09, archived)

Clog the shitter

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 17 Feb 2026, 12:27, archived)

Less famous single from The Clash

( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Tue 17 Feb 2026, 14:01, archived)

What about your other leg? It looked as long as the first one, at least that one time I met you a few years back.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 17 Feb 2026, 18:15, archived)