morning

( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Sat 6 Dec 2025, 7:25, archived)

A bit later morning

(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Sat 6 Dec 2025, 7:30, archived)

even later morning
- wow this is exciting
( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Sat 6 Dec 2025, 8:04, archived)

LATER STILL!!!

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 6 Dec 2025, 10:18, archived)

It’s earlier now.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Sat 6 Dec 2025, 10:47, archived)

i remember when this was all just then

( MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Sat 6 Dec 2025, 11:19, archived)

BERNARD MANNING

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 6 Dec 2025, 7:39, archived)

Bernard Personning

( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Sat 6 Dec 2025, 8:05, archived)

BUMNARD MANSTEAMING

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 6 Dec 2025, 8:28, archived)

Not this again

( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Sat 6 Dec 2025, 8:47, archived)

bot hiss again

(Jingles McFuck ho bastard ho 🎅🎄🎁, Sat 6 Dec 2025, 9:28, archived)

LET OFF SOME STEAM, BUMMIT!

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 6 Dec 2025, 9:57, archived)

Not this steam bum
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 6 Dec 2025, 10:19, archived)

Bum steam ahead!

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 6 Dec 2025, 14:41, archived)

Urgh. Somewhat hungover after staff Christmas party.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 6 Dec 2025, 8:29, archived)

^

( Cheers Cheers, Sat 6 Dec 2025, 8:33, archived)

Morning

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sat 6 Dec 2025, 10:12, archived)

It's snowing
Update: it's no longer snowing
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 6 Dec 2025, 12:11, archived)

They said it would snow, then it didn't snow and then they said it MIGHT snow
Snow is so flakey
( Dick Wonder ₐ wₒₙₖy, wₐᵥy wₒₙdₑᵣ, Sat 6 Dec 2025, 14:38, archived)

You melt

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 6 Dec 2025, 14:43, archived)

Icy what you did there.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Sat 6 Dec 2025, 14:54, archived)

morning
Has anyone here ever relocated to somewhere like the UAE?

Or ever relocated ever?

If so any advice? (I know that’s general very general)
(dampdirtynonce The Real Spanishfly, Sat 6 Dec 2025, 7:04, archived)

The campus is a bit dull but Norwich was alright

( Dick Wonder ₐ wₒₙₖy, wₐᵥy wₒₙdₑᵣ, Sat 6 Dec 2025, 12:43, archived)

The Duke's Head is around there
somewhere
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 6 Dec 2025, 13:04, archived)

Fucking students, they'll nick anything

( Dick Wonder ₐ wₒₙₖy, wₐᵥy wₒₙdₑᵣ, Sat 6 Dec 2025, 14:36, archived)

it was a beheading joke, perhaps i should have made that clearer

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 6 Dec 2025, 14:43, archived)

Yeah anyway
Anyone got anything exciting planned for the weekend?
( .Yeti., Fri 5 Dec 2025, 22:00, archived)

killerkitti is visiting from Denver at the moment, we're going to Asbury Park on Sunday I think
yourself?
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 22:12, archived)

I hate The Cult

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 22:20, archived)

Why? Did they do another song?

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 22:47, archived)

/talk, you mean

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 23:38, archived)

<s>l</s> n
Spanishfly, that is
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 6 Dec 2025, 0:05, archived)

Subjective.

( mongychops, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 23:05, archived)

work :(

(Jingles McFuck ho bastard ho 🎅🎄🎁, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 23:14, archived)

you should quit and not worry about it

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 23:43, archived)

Mite do a war crime

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 6 Dec 2025, 0:08, archived)

All the best ones have already been done i reckon

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 6 Dec 2025, 0:24, archived)

Frank Gonery

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 6 Dec 2025, 0:13, archived)

Riddle me this, fellow guntstronaut's
Name someone with a more grating singing voice than Kevin Rowland. You can't say Morrissey
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 21:10, archived)

Joanna Newsom?

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 5 Dec 2025, 21:17, archived)

The governor of California?

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 21:19, archived)

You, I mean

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 21:25, archived)

N/N/SHUT THE FUCK UP

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 22:21, archived)

Imagine being Kevin Rowland, yeah
and hearing your singing voice and thinking yeah, I should defo be a singer, I'll smash it

and being right
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 21:18, archived)

Smeggy smegg yeah?
Home from my work’s Christmas party before things got messy
( Cheers Cheers, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 21:28, archived)

So very, very smeggy

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 21:30, archived)

Mike Skinner

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 21:29, archived)

Worst Labour MP ever

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 21:30, archived)

No, that was Bruce Wayne

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 22:48, archived)

Bruce Wayne is big leggy

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 23:39, archived)

Tom Waits

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Sat 6 Dec 2025, 10:46, archived)

good shout
Paolo Nutini is another strong contender
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 6 Dec 2025, 10:53, archived)

no

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 6 Dec 2025, 14:22, archived)

Beer on cock
Friday fucklift
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Fri 5 Dec 2025, 17:30, archived)

Jolly good, it's wine time, darling

( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 17:36, archived)

I just had a rather nice port

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 18:01, archived)

In a storm
Any
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Fri 5 Dec 2025, 18:09, archived)

In my tube carriage is a standup comedian I've seen on a couple of panel shows
Pasty faced ginger cunt with super long hair and beard, wearing corduroy lionels. Unfunny prick
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 18:07, archived)

You, I mean
obv
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 18:08, archived)

Spanishfly you mean?

(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Fri 5 Dec 2025, 18:08, archived)

awks

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 18:09, archived)

Someone told me that all gingers 'like' children
Just saying
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Fri 5 Dec 2025, 18:15, archived)

Anyone know what colour brb's hair is?
I'm just asking questions, don't ban me guy's
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 18:18, archived)

Auburn

(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Fri 5 Dec 2025, 18:19, archived)

Strawberry blond

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 18:45, archived)

Beach-bleached blond

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 22:01, archived)

This cunt
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alasdair_Beckett-King
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 18:14, archived)

Precisely

(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Fri 5 Dec 2025, 18:16, archived)

Ah yeah, I've seen him on never steam the bumcocks

( broadsword, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 18:32, archived)

lol

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 20:55, archived)

Cunts like that are why English people assume I'm posh,
It's just a normal first name in Scotland but every English Alasdair has a double-barrelled surname and went to Eton.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 18:54, archived)

I dunno, I know an Alasdair
Not private school.
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 5 Dec 2025, 19:03, archived)

Soz, misread yr post Al

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 5 Dec 2025, 19:03, archived)

You can't call me Al

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 19:26, archived)

Fucken can, Al

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 5 Dec 2025, 19:27, archived)

Stop being Weird, you two.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 5 Dec 2025, 20:05, archived)

Weird Al Jourgenson

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 5 Dec 2025, 20:26, archived)

Ministry of Silly Wanks

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 20:50, archived)

I saw a photo the other day of a guy who'd made himself an amazing Halloween costume as Weird Al Jourgenson,
which was exactly what it sounds like.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 5 Dec 2025, 22:30, archived)

Alas dair and jones

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 20:39, archived)

Where Alas's Dair

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 20:40, archived)

Also calm down Alasdair he's from Durham
Part of Scotland at some point most likely. I've read The Steel Bonnets by George Mcdonald Fraser m8, and when I say read I mean pretended to have read to humour my father.
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 20:44, archived)

My faither wis deid afore I wis weaned, ye insensitive sassenach

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 20:51, archived)

Jings

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 6 Dec 2025, 9:47, archived)

^ A. Hedge-Hogge

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 22:08, archived)

Alisdair, Darling!

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 6 Dec 2025, 0:07, archived)

Went to YSJ, educationally sub-prime.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 5 Dec 2025, 19:28, archived)

Mark Simmons?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 5 Dec 2025, 18:43, archived)

Not for me thanks, I'm driving

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 20:44, archived)

The BBC is trailing their Christmas schedule,
they've got one called "Dexter Proctor the 10-year-old doctor". They literally named him bum-fingerer, just wondering if 2can's going to sue for copyright
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 19:23, archived)

sounds like a viz character

(Jingles McFuck ho bastard ho 🎅🎄🎁, Sat 6 Dec 2025, 6:01, archived)

afternoon

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 5 Dec 2025, 13:09, archived)

Yes
Might have a nap till home time
( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 13:35, archived)

Pro tip: divide salary generated during time spent napping by 40 to reveal your current wink fee

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 13:45, archived)

💲➗️(⏰️😴)✖️40🟰⁉️
Now what?
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Fri 5 Dec 2025, 15:28, archived)

it is revealed

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 15:39, archived)

My Casio RXJ calculator must be broken
I have had it since 1984
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Fri 5 Dec 2025, 15:42, archived)

my knob and bollocks, you mean

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 18:10, archived)

Not again
Not complaining
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Fri 5 Dec 2025, 18:17, archived)

I'm not quite sure that's the equation that was suggested

( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 17:11, archived)

Alright Carol Vorderman
Yes, she is fitter than Rachel Riley
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Fri 5 Dec 2025, 17:29, archived)

Her arse is better than Riley's but overall if you would rather go 3 loads with Vorders over Riley you are fucking insane.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 5 Dec 2025, 18:41, archived)

3?
I wish
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Fri 5 Dec 2025, 18:45, archived)

Over a 3-month period
Lol period
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 18:47, archived)

LOL
Bloody Hell
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Fri 5 Dec 2025, 18:49, archived)

4 / 7 Scuffed dome
www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/clydg58ex4eo
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 13:48, archived)

Same/as you

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 13:54, archived)

3/7 it's a girl!

(Jingles McFuck ho bastard ho 🎅🎄🎁, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 14:24, archived)

8/7
Even though there were only 8 questions I correctly pointed out that the B52s are fucking garbage.

So gave myself an extra point.
(dampdirtynonce The Real Spanishfly, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 14:30, archived)

6/7
Still also a scuffed dome!
Bloody bullshit scoring system, I'm clearly superior, where's my five pounds?
( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 14:39, archived)

4/7 bum/steam

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 14:40, archived)

The beatnuts are over here touring next year.

( mongychops, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 16:59, archived)

They are still amazing live
Last time I saw them it was a double header with Jeru tha Damaja. He is a fat, drunken mess these days, v depressing to see
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 17:31, archived)

Would you say he was... damajed goods?

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 5 Dec 2025, 18:02, archived)

no m8

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 18:11, archived)

B3ta, you mean

( .Yeti., Fri 5 Dec 2025, 20:46, archived)

Early stages at the moment but this nonce might be on his way to work in Dubai for a few years.
Is b3ta a “thing” over there? I fucking hope not
(dampdirtynonce The Real Spanishfly, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 17:07, archived)

BERNARD MANNING

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 5 Dec 2025, 17:21, archived)

no real names plz

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 5 Dec 2025, 18:19, archived)