for me
memorable for the contribution to NME's C81:
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Furious_Pig
which, 31 years on, I still listen to
( ,
Tue 28 Feb 2012, 22:05,
archived)
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Furious_Pig
which, 31 years on, I still listen to
If you do, you should link or censor it.
If it's REALLY NSFW, that is.
( ,
Tue 28 Feb 2012, 16:11,
archived)
But that does require him to meet you behind the bike shed with some lube and a pair of rubber gloves.
( ,
Tue 28 Feb 2012, 16:33,
archived)
Yes, he keeps saying it smells behind the bike sheds and why can't we go to the woods
I've told him again and again, it's because it happens when I take people to the woods.
( ,
Tue 28 Feb 2012, 16:38,
archived)
Oh right and of course we don't want another episode so you're wise to choose the bike shed
JJ should totally get over the fact that it smells after all the chloroform will be the only thing he'll smell for a while.
( ,
Tue 28 Feb 2012, 16:49,
archived)
THIS...
...wins the internets!!!!
*Hooooje click* a thing of pure joy :D
( ,
Tue 28 Feb 2012, 16:08,
archived)
*Hooooje click* a thing of pure joy :D
yes!!....had a go on one of those once....
'kin impossible bar chord :)
( ,
Tue 28 Feb 2012, 16:12,
archived)
Blimey! He's hammering those chords.
That is lovely - *click* - more old skool B3ta fluff, says I.
( ,
Tue 28 Feb 2012, 16:35,
archived)
this goes perfectly with the Steve Hillage I'm listening to right now :)
( ,
Tue 28 Feb 2012, 17:19,
archived)
Oh shit!
That's missing the layer where I made it washed out like his face.
Fuck, it, I closed tattyshop and it really was only a matter of adding 'lightness' in hue and saturation.
Arse!
( ,
Tue 28 Feb 2012, 15:26,
archived)
Fuck, it, I closed tattyshop and it really was only a matter of adding 'lightness' in hue and saturation.
Arse!
I did not save the layers,
I am not about to faff around with sponge or dodge now.
( ,
Tue 28 Feb 2012, 15:27,
archived)
Actually, it turns out I
a) Can be arsed but
b) am not really that good or that arsed.
( ,
Tue 28 Feb 2012, 15:30,
archived)
b) am not really that good or that arsed.
In the circumstances
stripping below the waist was probably quite sensible
( ,
Tue 28 Feb 2012, 15:34,
archived)
NO IT'S NOT IT'S A MOTION PICTURE AND A WORK OF FICTION
So ner
( ,
Tue 28 Feb 2012, 15:37,
archived)
Save a fortune in time and money by replacing the House of Commons with a web forum
Click for the other half of it
I'm genuinely baffled as to why in this day and age the House of Commons exists. I appreciate in the olden days before communications networks it was important to have everyone in the same place to get discussions heard and information shared. But when you could clearly handle the entire Prime Ministers Questions via a web forum or skype chat why the hell are they wasting important council/department/country running time by travelling all the way to London and then sitting on their arses occasionally going "hear hear"?
A very, very rough internet based calculation puts the house of commons daily running costs for mps offices and the main hall (not tours or cafes or whatever) at £1.2m. Add to that travel expenses and the wasted days pay and it officially adds up to fuckingcrazyloads of our taxes.
Give them an ipad and a decent secure forum that is no more complex than B3ta and they can do the whole fucking job during their lunch break in their constituency.
I apologise for the confused and semi ranty nature of this typing, I've just spent far, far too long listening to and transcribing twattish mps talking at each other in raised childish voices without them ever answering a single question. Which has obviously left me more irritated at the fucking stupid state of our system than I was expecting from a semi-throwaway b3ta joke.
If you want to see the 15 minutes of arsemonkery in question for yourself, it is here www.youtube.com/watch?v=H_fGvVOCT00 It can in reality be condensed to 3 forum posts -
Ed "Why weren't representatives in that meeting?
Dave "I'm not answering that"
Everyone else "rhubarb, rhubarb, shout, my team is better than your team"
I'm going for a bit of a lay down now.
( ,
Tue 28 Feb 2012, 15:10,
archived)
Click for the other half of it
I'm genuinely baffled as to why in this day and age the House of Commons exists. I appreciate in the olden days before communications networks it was important to have everyone in the same place to get discussions heard and information shared. But when you could clearly handle the entire Prime Ministers Questions via a web forum or skype chat why the hell are they wasting important council/department/country running time by travelling all the way to London and then sitting on their arses occasionally going "hear hear"?
A very, very rough internet based calculation puts the house of commons daily running costs for mps offices and the main hall (not tours or cafes or whatever) at £1.2m. Add to that travel expenses and the wasted days pay and it officially adds up to fuckingcrazyloads of our taxes.
Give them an ipad and a decent secure forum that is no more complex than B3ta and they can do the whole fucking job during their lunch break in their constituency.
I apologise for the confused and semi ranty nature of this typing, I've just spent far, far too long listening to and transcribing twattish mps talking at each other in raised childish voices without them ever answering a single question. Which has obviously left me more irritated at the fucking stupid state of our system than I was expecting from a semi-throwaway b3ta joke.
If you want to see the 15 minutes of arsemonkery in question for yourself, it is here www.youtube.com/watch?v=H_fGvVOCT00 It can in reality be condensed to 3 forum posts -
Ed "Why weren't representatives in that meeting?
Dave "I'm not answering that"
Everyone else "rhubarb, rhubarb, shout, my team is better than your team"
I'm going for a bit of a lay down now.
Pretty much, yes...
...that is the reason.
Bascially, the party can control its MPs much more effectively when they're gathered in person, and MPs can much more easily see who is inclined to vote one way or the other.
Funnily enough, HappyToast was beaten to the idea of remote voting by Thomas Edison back in 1869. It was Edison's first patent - an electric vote recorder:
edison.rutgers.edu/vote.htm
It was rejected. Edison couldn't understand why until a Congressman took him aside and explained that instant voting would be disastrous, for a number of reasons. For a start, it made filibustering impossible. Also, his fellow representatives had to be able to see what their peers were intending to do, to see which way their allies or enemies (potential or actual) intended to vote and modify (if necessary) their intentions accordingly, and to engage in the usual horse-trading of political life. Instant, remote vote recording made all that impossible and for those reasons was hated by both the party whips (or equivalent) and representatives themselves.
After that failure, Edison resolved never again to invent something for which there was not an identifiable need, i.e. from which a profit could be made.
Meanwhile, I have clicked 'Like'!
'Cos I like it.
( ,
Wed 29 Feb 2012, 8:58,
archived)
Bascially, the party can control its MPs much more effectively when they're gathered in person, and MPs can much more easily see who is inclined to vote one way or the other.
Funnily enough, HappyToast was beaten to the idea of remote voting by Thomas Edison back in 1869. It was Edison's first patent - an electric vote recorder:
edison.rutgers.edu/vote.htm
It was rejected. Edison couldn't understand why until a Congressman took him aside and explained that instant voting would be disastrous, for a number of reasons. For a start, it made filibustering impossible. Also, his fellow representatives had to be able to see what their peers were intending to do, to see which way their allies or enemies (potential or actual) intended to vote and modify (if necessary) their intentions accordingly, and to engage in the usual horse-trading of political life. Instant, remote vote recording made all that impossible and for those reasons was hated by both the party whips (or equivalent) and representatives themselves.
After that failure, Edison resolved never again to invent something for which there was not an identifiable need, i.e. from which a profit could be made.
Meanwhile, I have clicked 'Like'!
'Cos I like it.
I like this.
I also like the prospect of /talk invading a commons debate.
In fact thinking about it, /talk is pretty much the tone and standard of the average commons debate.
EDIT If you do That There Twitter, then follow @stevehiltonguru His side commentary to PMQs is generally very good.
( ,
Tue 28 Feb 2012, 15:15,
archived)
In fact thinking about it, /talk is pretty much the tone and standard of the average commons debate.
EDIT If you do That There Twitter, then follow @stevehiltonguru His side commentary to PMQs is generally very good.
Because they'll all end up on "ignore"
but your point is very valid, similarly with all the business travel that goes on just for a meeting that could easily take place with web conferencing.
( ,
Tue 28 Feb 2012, 15:29,
archived)
I'm all for having them in one place, this is an age of terrorists and bombings after all
But yeah, you're right. Unfortunately it involves common sense, technology and a loss of "I'm better than you" status, so they'll never go for it.
( ,
Tue 28 Feb 2012, 15:38,
archived)
to be honest
I'm completely baffled about the way the entire world works. If you think about things for a few years, the whole thing's is absolutely batshit insane. Totally bonkers. Why we haven't ripped the whole system... the WHOLE system, economy, government, the lot.... out years ago and started again with one that makes sense baffles me every time I think about it. To me, it looks like a load of lazy arseholes quoting meaningless rules that means everyone has to pay their way for them with money that they decide the value of.
I won't start going on about it, I gave up whingeing ages ago.
*also: click :D
( ,
Tue 28 Feb 2012, 16:59,
archived)
I won't start going on about it, I gave up whingeing ages ago.
*also: click :D
Sadly...
...it's not at all baffling, and you answered it with this sentence:
"To me, it looks like a load of lazy arseholes quoting meaningless rules that means everyone has to pay their way for them with money that they decide the value of."
The only people with the power to change the system are the very people who stand to lose most by changing it. Turkeys, after all, would never vote for Christmas...
( ,
Wed 29 Feb 2012, 9:00,
archived)
"To me, it looks like a load of lazy arseholes quoting meaningless rules that means everyone has to pay their way for them with money that they decide the value of."
The only people with the power to change the system are the very people who stand to lose most by changing it. Turkeys, after all, would never vote for Christmas...
Looks nicely done
but there's no way in hell I'm reading all those bloody words
( ,
Tue 28 Feb 2012, 20:52,
archived)
This is one of the best things I've seen here in ages,
really well done and fantastic point made. Wish it could spark a petition by someone more articulate/competent than I.
( ,
Tue 28 Feb 2012, 22:20,
archived)
to be fair
PMQ's is a circus, hated by everone from sketch writers to the politicians themselves. but it is 30 minutes out of a long long week of debating law in the chambers.
not saying that there isn't waste, but most time in Westminster is spent outside of the chamber, in meetings, committees and within the various departments that each minister has a responsibility to.
if you want to rip waste in politics apart, have a crack at the house of lords. that's a proper outrage.
( ,
Tue 28 Feb 2012, 22:41,
archived)
not saying that there isn't waste, but most time in Westminster is spent outside of the chamber, in meetings, committees and within the various departments that each minister has a responsibility to.
if you want to rip waste in politics apart, have a crack at the house of lords. that's a proper outrage.
Not realistic
Until someone starts slagging off the /houseoflords board.
( ,
Tue 28 Feb 2012, 22:50,
archived)
well, they've saved travel money
by allowing the mp's to buy houses in london which the tax payer effectively pays the mortgage on.
being an mp sounds like a pretty nice gig
( ,
Wed 29 Feb 2012, 8:24,
archived)
being an mp sounds like a pretty nice gig
Just seen this and it's pure genius!
It's so true, it's not even funny. I second this proposal, hear, hear!
( ,
Wed 29 Feb 2012, 9:45,
archived)
An excellent rant and one I fully endorse
If I had my way I'd hang the lot of them and replace democracy with Genghis Khan.
He knew how to get shit done.
( ,
Wed 29 Feb 2012, 9:50,
archived)
He knew how to get shit done.
Hear hear
I don't see why we need MPs at all. It made sense in 1748 when my local MP would spend three days in a horse-drawn carriage to go to London and represent my views in parliament, but now I can present my views directly, there's no need for an elected representative at all.
Replace the whole lot with an internet-based jury-service style system. At any one time, 10,000 randomly-selected citizens are required to consider whatever it is that MPs think about, discuss, consult and then vote remotely. Every three months or so, 1,000 of the citizens finish their service and another 1,000 are randomly picked to replace them. Those who can't be arsed to take part, even having been picked, will get the 'government' they deserve.
The civil service can get on with running the country with direction from the 10,000 voting punters.
Replace all numbers with larger/smaller ones as you see fit.
Done.
( ,
Wed 29 Feb 2012, 16:12,
archived)
Replace the whole lot with an internet-based jury-service style system. At any one time, 10,000 randomly-selected citizens are required to consider whatever it is that MPs think about, discuss, consult and then vote remotely. Every three months or so, 1,000 of the citizens finish their service and another 1,000 are randomly picked to replace them. Those who can't be arsed to take part, even having been picked, will get the 'government' they deserve.
The civil service can get on with running the country with direction from the 10,000 voting punters.
Replace all numbers with larger/smaller ones as you see fit.
Done.
People talk about the "sanctity of Democracy"...
...But essentially it's either a privileged few running the show (which can be done better under the more... tyrannical systems) or it's mob rule. Neither is an ideal way of getting something done.
When you look into systems of governance, the ideal is Anarchy; which is to say, a lack of governance and everybody working together, independently, for the best.
But that'll never happen. Not with humans.
( ,
Wed 29 Feb 2012, 18:53,
archived)
When you look into systems of governance, the ideal is Anarchy; which is to say, a lack of governance and everybody working together, independently, for the best.
But that'll never happen. Not with humans.
wouldn't you be if you found yourself cemented in with drivers whizzing by?
( ,
Tue 28 Feb 2012, 15:17,
archived)
MANZA SEAFOOD MANZA SEAFOOD MANZA SEAFOOD MANZA SEAFOOD MANZA SEAFOOD MANZA SEAFOOD MANZA SEAFOOD MANZA SEAFOOD MANZA SEAFOOD MANZA SEAFOOD MANZA SEAFOOD MANZA SEAFOOD MANZA SEAFOOD MANZA SEAFOOD MANZA SEAFOOD MANZA SEAFOOD MANZA SEAFOOD MANZA SEAFOOD
MANZA SEAFOOD MANZA SEAFOOD MANZA SEAFOOD MANZA SEAFOOD MANZA SEAFOOD MANZA SEAFOOD MANZA SEAFOOD MANZA SEAFOOD MANZA SEAFOOD MANZA SEAFOOD MANZA SEAFOOD MANZA SEAFOOD MANZA SEAFOOD MANZA SEAFOOD MANZA SEAFOOD MANZA SEAFOOD MANZA SEAFOOD MANZA SEAFOOD MANZA SEAFOOD MANZA SEAFOOD MANZA SEAFOOD MANZA SEAFOOD MANZA SEAFOOD MANZA SEAFOOD MANZA SEAFOOD MANZA SEAFOOD MANZA SEAFOOD MANZA SEAFOOD MANZA SEAFOOD MANZA SEAFOOD MANZA SEAFOOD MANZA SEAFOOD MANZA SEAFOOD MANZA SEAFOOD MANZA SEAFOOD
WHEN YOU THINK SEAFOOD
THINK MANZA
( ,
Tue 28 Feb 2012, 18:39,
archived)
WHEN YOU THINK SEAFOOD
THINK MANZA
This is such a non-story.
Police horses are always lent out. Having a horse on loan (police or otherwise) is common practice - When people go away to University, when the horse is surplus to current requirements, etc.
A horse is expensive to keep and lending one is a cheap way of getting livery - The headline sounds terrible, but it really is utterly benign. A similar example might be 'Devon council helped Lord Manley carry his rubbish to the tip'.
The woman is repulsive, but when you pick on her with this sort of non-event, merely playing on the ignorance of the public, to get a good headline it undermines the real issue, which is that the fucking bitch should be in prison for her actual crimes.
( ,
Tue 28 Feb 2012, 14:53,
archived)
A horse is expensive to keep and lending one is a cheap way of getting livery - The headline sounds terrible, but it really is utterly benign. A similar example might be 'Devon council helped Lord Manley carry his rubbish to the tip'.
The woman is repulsive, but when you pick on her with this sort of non-event, merely playing on the ignorance of the public, to get a good headline it undermines the real issue, which is that the fucking bitch should be in prison for her actual crimes.
When I say 'you', I do not mean dear old waspy, though,
I mean the fucking BBC who should know better.
( ,
Tue 28 Feb 2012, 14:57,
archived)
I agree, it's actually just obfuscating the real story
but I wanted to shop Murdoch onto Putin...
( ,
Tue 28 Feb 2012, 14:57,
archived)
Oh yes,
not in any way angry with you.
Yopu fucking slack jawed cunt.
( ,
Tue 28 Feb 2012, 14:58,
archived)
Yopu fucking slack jawed cunt.
she got it at around the same time grant mitchell left her.
coincidence?
( ,
Tue 28 Feb 2012, 15:20,
archived)
Edit: perhaps the ginger one would like to do this for the auction :)
The alien from off of American Dad
There was a whole episode about it recently
( ,
Tue 28 Feb 2012, 14:45,
archived)
Flog 'em cheap to the bald headed colour blinds
or perverts with ginger fettish :D
( ,
Tue 28 Feb 2012, 14:46,
archived)
Unibrow Owner's Club
/is also a member - although mine's not ginger
( ,
Tue 28 Feb 2012, 15:35,
archived)
Ahh, great ^^
So my T-shirt doesn't say something like "PURPLE WOMAN GRAPEFRUIT UTENSIL".
( ,
Tue 28 Feb 2012, 13:25,
archived)
I guess the guy who made this hat hasn't got the chist of English.
I think there were other T-shirts like that one up there, that said things like "I'M BIG IN JAPAN" in kanji, stuff like that.
( ,
Tue 28 Feb 2012, 13:37,
archived)
Mine said something random like
TOKYO HANDBAG UNDERPANT LEMONADE. Or something.
( ,
Tue 28 Feb 2012, 13:51,
archived)
It was one of those non branded shirts that have a logo on from George at ASDA or something.
I never really thought about what it said. My mate thought it was very funny, mind.
( ,
Tue 28 Feb 2012, 14:00,
archived)
Ahh, right. Makes you wonder what the makers of the T-shirt intended it to say.
Or maybe they got it spot on, you never can tell.
( ,
Tue 28 Feb 2012, 14:04,
archived)
But it does apparently say the wearer can't get it up?
And you're happy with that?
( ,
Tue 28 Feb 2012, 14:05,
archived)
Waste of time ladder. Satanic sideways k. Divining.
Unconvential e. Conjoined Y and L.
Midget by barstool. Surprised by left hook.
Blair witch. YL punched by big-nosed bully. Smug speccy twat.
( ,
Tue 28 Feb 2012, 13:22,
archived)
Midget by barstool. Surprised by left hook.
Blair witch. YL punched by big-nosed bully. Smug speccy twat.
martians playing golf on mars, only to find a mars rover has ruined their game
that or a Fallout3 thing - Pip as the Vault dweller and Leonard as the dog from the scrapyard who's name I cant remember Dogmeat (cheers, BHW!)
( ,
Tue 28 Feb 2012, 13:06,
archived)
Five furious fish fingers fighting fifteen formidably fanged frogs.
With tits.
( ,
Tue 28 Feb 2012, 13:14,
archived)
Those idiot irish twins have acquired a taste for lady spluff... and old ladies.
They have broken into a care home late at night and have located an old biddy suffering terribly with Parkinson's disease. They quickly and lovingly undress each other, revealing ridiculous pubic quiffs, and gently suck each other hard knowing this will excite the old dear and set her shaking like horse and trap on a cobbled road.
First, they both lube up their hands and cocks with swarfega. Next, they quite simply manoeuvre themselves into position either side of the sweet old lady and and help her curl her fingers around their throbbing shafts. The ancient crone's neurological condition does the rest as she shakes and vibrates to the beat created by her dopaminergic troubles and soon the boys are ready to empty their sacks, which they both do with their trademark gleeful relish, their quiffs all of a quiver.
Now it's her turn, and very gently and with great care they help her out of her knickerbockers and sit her down in a reclining chair. Once they're sure she is comfortable, the really stupid one gets down and starts giving the old dear a couple of fingers whilst the incredibly stupid one holds his quiff aside and starts lapping at her surprisingly swollen clit. This could take a while but they are patient and maintain their discipline, fingers and toungues maintaining a rhythm they could never achieve in their "singing". Finally, the woman starts to writhe and moan and so they increase the pace until, suddenly, her back arches and her arthritic toes curl and she comes like a water cannon; old lady squirt spraying this way and that as she completely loses control of her body. The twins and indeed the whole room is dripping with 30 years of bottled up cumsplash with a stench akin to old bacon.
( ,
Tue 28 Feb 2012, 13:14,
archived)
They have broken into a care home late at night and have located an old biddy suffering terribly with Parkinson's disease. They quickly and lovingly undress each other, revealing ridiculous pubic quiffs, and gently suck each other hard knowing this will excite the old dear and set her shaking like horse and trap on a cobbled road.
First, they both lube up their hands and cocks with swarfega. Next, they quite simply manoeuvre themselves into position either side of the sweet old lady and and help her curl her fingers around their throbbing shafts. The ancient crone's neurological condition does the rest as she shakes and vibrates to the beat created by her dopaminergic troubles and soon the boys are ready to empty their sacks, which they both do with their trademark gleeful relish, their quiffs all of a quiver.
Now it's her turn, and very gently and with great care they help her out of her knickerbockers and sit her down in a reclining chair. Once they're sure she is comfortable, the really stupid one gets down and starts giving the old dear a couple of fingers whilst the incredibly stupid one holds his quiff aside and starts lapping at her surprisingly swollen clit. This could take a while but they are patient and maintain their discipline, fingers and toungues maintaining a rhythm they could never achieve in their "singing". Finally, the woman starts to writhe and moan and so they increase the pace until, suddenly, her back arches and her arthritic toes curl and she comes like a water cannon; old lady squirt spraying this way and that as she completely loses control of her body. The twins and indeed the whole room is dripping with 30 years of bottled up cumsplash with a stench akin to old bacon.
:D
Your game's not the only thing that's been 'upped', after reading this
Eh? EH?
( ,
Tue 28 Feb 2012, 13:38,
archived)
Eh? EH?
Yes, one is more stupid than the other
there's the really stupid one and the incredibly stupid one
( ,
Tue 28 Feb 2012, 14:00,
archived)
I realised that from the context, but surely if either one was even one IQ point lower, they would forget how to breathe and die horribly whilst the other mewled pitifully whilst defiling his brother's bloated blue corpse..
Which would of course be tragic.
( ,
Tue 28 Feb 2012, 14:12,
archived)
A child holds a bacon butty at the side of the road, apropos of nothing, he stares vacantly down the street as tomato ketchup drips onto the tarmac.
Suddenly, a large black limousine rolls along the road and pulls up alongside the boy, who gazes nonplussed at his reflection in the smoked glass window.
The window rolls down revealing a group of rich city bankers, who lean out of the window, braying at the child and spraying champagne everywhere. Shocked, the child drops his delicious bacon sandwich into the oily silt by the kerb. The 5 second rule cannot apply here, the sandwich is ruined. A single tear runs from the boy's eye as the snorting whooping poshos collapse laughing onto luxurious leather upholstery, their task complete.
Before they can wind up the window, the boy's mother has appeared at the gate, carrying an early model Dyson 04 vacuum, in scratched but serviceable grey and yellow. She is very attractive, housework has left a sheen of sweat on her heaving, perfectly formed bosom. The bankers resume their braying, coupled with sexual retorts and a shower of crumpled, low denomination English bank-notes.
Incensed, the woman steps forward, raising the Dyson and driving it through the head of the nearest posho with explosive force. The others recoil in horror, but too late; the bloodied Dyson pounds in through the limousine window repeatedly and remorselessly until every banker is a broken, bloodied mess.
At this point, the chauffeur steps out of the car. It is the woman's husband. He gently sets down the Dyson and takes his wife and son into the house, where they all have bacon sandwiches, then the boy watches back to back episodes of Tracey Beaker on CBBC, whilst his parents have passionate sex on the bonnet of the limousine to the cheers of their neighbours.
( ,
Tue 28 Feb 2012, 13:15,
archived)
The window rolls down revealing a group of rich city bankers, who lean out of the window, braying at the child and spraying champagne everywhere. Shocked, the child drops his delicious bacon sandwich into the oily silt by the kerb. The 5 second rule cannot apply here, the sandwich is ruined. A single tear runs from the boy's eye as the snorting whooping poshos collapse laughing onto luxurious leather upholstery, their task complete.
Before they can wind up the window, the boy's mother has appeared at the gate, carrying an early model Dyson 04 vacuum, in scratched but serviceable grey and yellow. She is very attractive, housework has left a sheen of sweat on her heaving, perfectly formed bosom. The bankers resume their braying, coupled with sexual retorts and a shower of crumpled, low denomination English bank-notes.
Incensed, the woman steps forward, raising the Dyson and driving it through the head of the nearest posho with explosive force. The others recoil in horror, but too late; the bloodied Dyson pounds in through the limousine window repeatedly and remorselessly until every banker is a broken, bloodied mess.
At this point, the chauffeur steps out of the car. It is the woman's husband. He gently sets down the Dyson and takes his wife and son into the house, where they all have bacon sandwiches, then the boy watches back to back episodes of Tracey Beaker on CBBC, whilst his parents have passionate sex on the bonnet of the limousine to the cheers of their neighbours.
Maybe we need to collect them in a blog or something first, gauge the mood
as it were.
( ,
Tue 28 Feb 2012, 14:02,
archived)
I suggested something like this to 4dam,
back when we first started doing this sort of thing.
( ,
Tue 28 Feb 2012, 15:02,
archived)
Yeah, but kids like ketchup on bacon butties.
It works in context, trust me.
( ,
Tue 28 Feb 2012, 13:49,
archived)
I don't see why those can't be intricate subplots when this gets made into a film.
( ,
Tue 28 Feb 2012, 14:15,
archived)
The main antagonist has a string instrument fetish
so he rests his bollocks on a table and smacks them as hard as he can with a banjo, guitar, whatever he can find.
( ,
Tue 28 Feb 2012, 14:26,
archived)
something to do with playboy bunny girls
Seeing as i was hanging out with a lady friend in a bunny outfit all of saturday :-D
( ,
Tue 28 Feb 2012, 13:19,
archived)
Not so much bunny magician - just bunny girl, like the Playboy ones :-)
It was actually a cosplay of Mikuru Asahina from that Haruhi anime, if you know it.
( ,
Tue 28 Feb 2012, 13:31,
archived)
Sorry, but I'm not sure what I'm looking at here...
It might just be my misinterpretation, but it appears as a young lady (or girl from the classic manga face/eye size ratio), with tits and a bunny girl tail and rabbit ears. So far so yiff, but WTF is with the rope burns?
There seems to be a deepening tone of sadomasochistic imagery in your recent pictures, which is fine if consensual, but disturbing to me when linked to presexual teens (and the addition of comedy tail and ears do not ameliorate this IMO)
Just my $0.02
( ,
Tue 28 Feb 2012, 14:09,
archived)
There seems to be a deepening tone of sadomasochistic imagery in your recent pictures, which is fine if consensual, but disturbing to me when linked to presexual teens (and the addition of comedy tail and ears do not ameliorate this IMO)
Just my $0.02
I thought those were stitches
I think it's meant to be a doll. What I don't understand is "Good Bye old brains!"
( ,
Tue 28 Feb 2012, 14:29,
archived)
It's meant to be a zombie rabbit, so it's sort of Frankenstein'd.
( ,
Tue 28 Feb 2012, 14:30,
archived)
Answer is "No"
the old brain is bad taste for her.
she always want to fresh brains. :D
It seems "Nightmare before chistmas"'s Sally.
( ,
Tue 28 Feb 2012, 15:23,
archived)
she always want to fresh brains. :D
It seems "Nightmare before chistmas"'s Sally.
Was she hanging out as well?
Phwoar, etc.
Some photographs would help us picture the scene.
( ,
Tue 28 Feb 2012, 13:24,
archived)
Some photographs would help us picture the scene.
Nicholas Parsons
arguing with his neighbour about the size of his conifer tree. The neighbour agrees to lop the conifer if Parsons pays half.
With tits
( ,
Tue 28 Feb 2012, 13:30,
archived)
With tits
The swedish crown princess with her new half man half lizard offspring
( ,
Tue 28 Feb 2012, 13:34,
archived)
A man twatting himself in the bollocks with a banjo.
EDIT: Again, if this isn't picked, I'll try and do it myself. Draw it, that is, not actually maim myself with a string instrument.
( ,
Tue 28 Feb 2012, 13:36,
archived)
Illustrate for us
The sorrowful feeling you get when you go to reach for a glass/mug/etc. to take a sip of your drink, only to find you've already drank it all.
( ,
Tue 28 Feb 2012, 13:45,
archived)
The 'last beer in Hell' feeling.........................I know it well.
( ,
Tue 28 Feb 2012, 14:28,
archived)
Daniel Craig swinging a giant teabag as some kind of Olympic event
( ,
Tue 28 Feb 2012, 13:56,
archived)
A bath.
A sexy girl in a bath.
A sexy girl with big boobs in a bath.
A sexy girl with big boobs in a bath with a banjo.
A sexy girl with big boobs in a bath with a banjo on a cliff.
( ,
Tue 28 Feb 2012, 14:00,
archived)
A sexy girl with big boobs in a bath.
A sexy girl with big boobs in a bath with a banjo.
A sexy girl with big boobs in a bath with a banjo on a cliff.
You're bloody obsessed you are.
Hey, did you talk to that newspaper woman?
( ,
Tue 28 Feb 2012, 14:03,
archived)
Reposting this for the day shift as it's for a good cause and all that.
This is my contribution to the B3ta Art Auction, an original A4 biromash drawn especially for the event.
It's called "Snow Leopard" and the auction winner will get the original ink drawing not a print.
Click for bigger
( ,
Tue 28 Feb 2012, 12:48,
archived)
It's called "Snow Leopard" and the auction winner will get the original ink drawing not a print.
Click for bigger
Original for comparison. Surprising how little I had to do with the text, really.
It's made me hungry. Is it wrong to covet a donner kebab for lunch?
( ,
Tue 28 Feb 2012, 12:27,
archived)
I see no reason why not.
Then again, I've ended up in pubs at about 10am, so...
( ,
Tue 28 Feb 2012, 12:28,
archived)
I'm probably gonna pop out to Tesco in a bit, see what's available.
I'll most likely end up with a Ginster's or something.
( ,
Tue 28 Feb 2012, 12:46,
archived)
Out of the three things in your pic, it's the kebab for me too
Although I've only once had a donner sober and regretted it...
( ,
Tue 28 Feb 2012, 12:29,
archived)
We used to live near a really really good kebab shop. Proper tasty even when sober.
( ,
Tue 28 Feb 2012, 12:44,
archived)
Donner kebab with chilli sauce or mayo...
Says a lot about me when I can have that sober or pissed.
( ,
Tue 28 Feb 2012, 12:45,
archived)
what disgruntles you so, Claude Speed?
It's important that I know.
( ,
Tue 28 Feb 2012, 12:42,
archived)
never get a decent signal at all, it's like talking to a brick
( ,
Tue 28 Feb 2012, 12:45,
archived)
dodgy phone in a patchy coverage area
the problem with Orange is that they insist on putting their own modified software on handsets, and the Tocco wasn't reliable to start with.
Swansea seems to have very patchy coverage, with the most consistant signal coverage over the sea.
( ,
Tue 28 Feb 2012, 13:01,
archived)
Swansea seems to have very patchy coverage, with the most consistant signal coverage over the sea.
i'll have to rent a boat and hang around in the bristol channel then?
( ,
Tue 28 Feb 2012, 13:06,
archived)
I actually get pretty good signal with them...
...are you ACTUALLY talking to a brick, by any chance?
( ,
Tue 28 Feb 2012, 12:52,
archived)
^ this with fucking bells on
the T-mobile shared signal is loads better, but it doesnt always become available.
( ,
Tue 28 Feb 2012, 12:48,
archived)
Samsung galaxy S2, living in islington, london
Good signal outside most of the time, but it pretty much dies as soon as i touch my phone in my flat. There's supposed to be an app on the included orange firmware that enables you to use your wifi connection to get a perfect connection, but orange havent made it available for the SG S2 yet.
( ,
Tue 28 Feb 2012, 13:00,
archived)
poor service
there's no excuse for Orange to be weak anywhere in London.
But try this:
www.coolsmartphone.com/2011/08/08/samsung-galaxy-sii-on-orange-now-with-signal-boost/
( ,
Tue 28 Feb 2012, 13:06,
archived)
But try this:
www.coolsmartphone.com/2011/08/08/samsung-galaxy-sii-on-orange-now-with-signal-boost/
Hm
That's the app i was talking about. Not got that kies thing installed. Suppose ill have to sccumb and install it if i want to try this out...
Im guessing the lead coated bunker i live in is to blame for the signal drop, perhaps. According to some website thing, orange reception is excellent in all of london.
( ,
Tue 28 Feb 2012, 13:35,
archived)
Im guessing the lead coated bunker i live in is to blame for the signal drop, perhaps. According to some website thing, orange reception is excellent in all of london.
searching for source pics
the first one that came up was the orange logo with the word TWUNTS .
( ,
Tue 28 Feb 2012, 12:43,
archived)
the missus works in greggs
might get her to bring me home a chicken new orleans later, yummy
( ,
Tue 28 Feb 2012, 12:51,
archived)
Ah right - sandwich.
I tend to follow the Homer Simpson rule in Greggs and only consume products that turn the paper wrapping transparent.
( ,
Tue 28 Feb 2012, 13:14,
archived)
Pfft. Hope he doesn't meet the exploding gas oven regiment coming up.
( ,
Tue 28 Feb 2012, 11:35,
archived)
The Special Chip Pan Service are already on the ground. All hell's gonna break loose!
( ,
Tue 28 Feb 2012, 11:37,
archived)
Oooh, they're rough old bastards, I hear.
They show no mercy when it comes to going out in light drizzle.
( ,
Tue 28 Feb 2012, 12:03,
archived)
If he were inside of the fridge and then simply steps out right when it hits the ground, he'll be ok
I saw Bugs Bunny do it in an elevator, so I know it will work.
( ,
Tue 28 Feb 2012, 13:13,
archived)
That reminds me...
of this. Which is possibly the best music video I have seen in ages and the 'Making of' video is pucker!
That's all
( ,
Tue 28 Feb 2012, 11:45,
archived)
That's all
It's amazing how long it can take to set you up for a punchline! 'ningles all. :D
( , Tue 28 Feb 2012, 10:29, archived)
( , Tue 28 Feb 2012, 10:29, archived)
Quantum Crisps! This is a concept I can get behind.
Will there be Shrodingers Crisp it could be salt and vinegar or it could be smokey bacon flavour but you won't know until you open the packet. ;)
( ,
Tue 28 Feb 2012, 10:36,
archived)
No, He was potrayed by Mr Wrinkles himself, John Hurt in
The Naked Civil Servant.
( ,
Tue 28 Feb 2012, 12:50,
archived)
Milla Jovovitch is a big fan of Greggs pasties
This is 100% FACT.
( ,
Tue 28 Feb 2012, 12:55,
archived)
I can assure you that no biscuits were harmed during the production of referenced post.
( ,
Tue 28 Feb 2012, 10:16,
archived)
Forgive us Rob, for we have sinned... It has been nearly three hours since the last post...
Todays fit girlies are; Bernadette Peters (she was great in The Jerk and I named my dog 'Shit Head' after that film) and Mimsy Farmer (inset joke about farming her mimsy here).
( ,
Tue 28 Feb 2012, 7:08,
archived)
Mimsy Farmer has to be the best name ever.
BTW Did you see this?
www.b3ta.com/board/10703720
( ,
Tue 28 Feb 2012, 8:12,
archived)
www.b3ta.com/board/10703720
No I bought one
The guy in question has been rather lully and donated a load of them for the CST/London Bash auction.
( ,
Tue 28 Feb 2012, 9:27,
archived)
My post came very early today for some reason.
It's possible you may still get it today. I've also got the Blessed alarm clock app. It's fantastic. Only 2 quid too.
( ,
Tue 28 Feb 2012, 9:40,
archived)
Yeah, the post usually comes around mid-day near where I live.
Really wanted to wear it to class today, but oh well. :)
( ,
Tue 28 Feb 2012, 10:00,
archived)
My Mosaink buddy is currently working up a Blessed design.
Trying to persuade him to go down the b3ta route and pony up a few freebies. Early WIP is looking mighty fine.
( ,
Tue 28 Feb 2012, 10:12,
archived)
Thing is if you're doing stuff like that you need Brian on board.
The b3tard who did that t shirt runs Brian's official merchandise site and also did the Blessed clock and sat nav. Someone's likeness is their own IP.
Then again if he's going to make a few quid out of it he's generally OK.
( ,
Tue 28 Feb 2012, 11:04,
archived)
Then again if he's going to make a few quid out of it he's generally OK.
Can I put in an advance request for Alex Kingston/ River Song
on the 11th? Much obliged!
( ,
Tue 28 Feb 2012, 9:58,
archived)
Tell you what Wobbly
Rather than having everyone put their requests in this thread, why not start a new thread later in the afternoon asking "What shall I vector the day?"
( ,
Tue 28 Feb 2012, 13:37,
archived)
I don't think that will go down to well...
How about you staring a new thead asking "Who should Wobbly knock one out for tomorrow?"
( ,
Tue 28 Feb 2012, 16:53,
archived)
Hey I have a friend that wants to make videos go viral
who can help
( ,
Tue 28 Feb 2012, 4:44,
archived)
this one on links
of a JCB has 6.5m views, contact them
www.youtube.com/watch?v=kvDpsziK-Aw
( ,
Tue 28 Feb 2012, 7:22,
archived)
www.youtube.com/watch?v=kvDpsziK-Aw
It's nice to see something with meat.
Utterly tired of the tofu sushi boat.
( ,
Tue 28 Feb 2012, 5:44,
archived)
If my calculations are correct, only threescore and six more pictures until Armageddon
( ,
Tue 28 Feb 2012, 6:58,
archived)
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