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# Dark Haiku Humor


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The law is the law?
(danielgoodm AntlerBoyStudios, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 13:29, archived)
# yes they must die at 12
BY MY HAND
(I helped save b3ta! Finite "Aardvark sorted out my shit!" on, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 13:30, archived)
# CONTACT!
At last
(R. Jimlad twitter.com/sirmarkymark, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 13:39, archived)
# This is exactly how I look at it.

(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 13:36, archived)
#
im glad we all agree. i wish it wasn't this way, but it is.
(danielgoodm AntlerBoyStudios, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 13:38, archived)
# There's not much we can do about it.

(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 14:04, archived)
# ive just figured out what these remind me of - Lord Bath's bonkers family portraits
(benito vaselini no not that one, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 13:40, archived)
# Dumbledore?
(I helped save b3ta! Guff McFlange Yes, but can it be made out of Lego?, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 13:44, archived)
# dies on pg 596
(I helped save b3ta! Paul_P http://www.Paul-hub.com, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 13:48, archived)
# Dobby dies too
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 14:06, archived)
# Nooooooooooooooooooooooo!
(I helped save b3ta! Crystal Magnet Like a diamond geezer, but better, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 14:12, archived)
# does he??
i dont remember that :(
(I helped save b3ta! Rev. Jesse. broke his ankle, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 14:18, archived)
# Ah the life of a supporting role
(I helped save b3ta! Paul_P http://www.Paul-hub.com, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 14:22, archived)
# top left Mandelson
He is utterly bonkers that bloke, imbreading never hurt nobody of course
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 13:46, archived)
# bread during internet messaging?
I can imagine no harmful effects from that unless you have a wheat intolerance ;)
(I helped save b3ta! Pasanonic 's been known to cause insanity in laboratory mice, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 13:53, archived)
# i think it must be a combination of inbreeding and
having loads of cash and not very much to do.
(benito vaselini no not that one, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 13:53, archived)
# His situation makes me laugh
An acid casualty who's surrounded by people who have to make an effort to take him seriously.
God bless rich eccentrics, making things ridiculous for capitalist lackeys.
(I helped save b3ta! fuscous, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 13:55, archived)
# He's a nice chap
If you visit longleat house and he's at home, he'll give you a personal tour




(before throwing his own shit at you)
(I helped save b3ta! Victor Meldrew, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 13:47, archived)
# I'm off there next week
:)
(I helped save b3ta! bilbobarneybobs I'll be 14 in b3ta years soon., Fri 23 Jul 2010, 13:48, archived)
# Awesome
Its a great day out. Make sure you go on the river tour thingie so you can see the HEOUGE gorilla that comes out to goad you :D
(I helped save b3ta! Victor Meldrew, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 13:49, archived)
# you missed the letter "N"
the corrilla will Gonad you
(Vinegar strokes Should know better on, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 14:03, archived)
# This Corrilla sounds scary
(I helped save b3ta! Victor Meldrew, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 14:07, archived)
# he is
Always goes for the gonads
of sarcastic spelling Nazis
(Vinegar strokes Should know better on, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 14:12, archived)
# I believe the term is Grammar Nazi
The spelling is a part of the job description
(I helped save b3ta! Paul_P http://www.Paul-hub.com, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 14:17, archived)
# You flesbian
www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=fles
(Vinegar strokes Should know better on, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 14:18, archived)
# I know you are, you said you are, but what am I
:P
(I helped save b3ta! Paul_P http://www.Paul-hub.com, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 14:20, archived)
# OOoooOoOOoOOh
You got me there, really made me look so small and silly

Not that I didn't look small and silly before you understand
(Vinegar strokes Should know better on, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 14:21, archived)
# I understand
now pull my finger
(I helped save b3ta! Paul_P http://www.Paul-hub.com, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 14:23, archived)
# Wait!
That's not your finger is it?
(Vinegar strokes Should know better on, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 14:27, archived)
# JUST SHUT UP AND PULL IT
(I helped save b3ta! Paul_P http://www.Paul-hub.com, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 14:29, archived)
# I am planning on going next month :)
(I helped save b3ta! Whato_Jeeves Did your surgery require a vaginal mesh patch?, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 13:52, archived)
# If you value your car
Don't drive through the monkey enclosure
They EAT CARS!
Well, they chew them up and spit bits out.
You'd imagine that after all the thousands of cars that they have trashed, the novelty would've worn off.
(Bluntphilly trying to loose wait, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 14:32, archived)
# i was there a few months back.
he wasnt giving tours that day but he was definitely at home because we weren't allowed to see his 'erotic murals' in his private rooms.

Shame really, that was the bit I was looking forward to most.
(benito vaselini no not that one, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 13:51, archived)
# He'd be cracking one off to them
then.
(I helped save b3ta! Smallbrainfield, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 13:54, archived)
# Lord Bath is related to Peter Mandelson?
EDIT - damn too slow!
(I helped save b3ta! thecrapgatsby isn't listening LALALALALALA, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 13:48, archived)
# Lord Bath is ace.
He's like if Brian Blessed took ketamine.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 13:48, archived)
# I fuckiong love that guy
As a somersetian, he is a local hero
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 13:52, archived)
# I love it when he appears on the local news
giving incoherent opinions on ducks
(I helped save b3ta! Victor Meldrew, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 13:53, archived)
# I like ducks
What's his opinion of the3m then?
(Vinegar strokes Should know better on, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 14:04, archived)
# shoot/fuck/eat/wear as hat
depending on the time of year
(benito vaselini no not that one, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 14:06, archived)
# I definately like him then
where can I get a duck hat?
(Vinegar strokes Should know better on, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 14:12, archived)
# his autobigraphy is hilarious
the full version is up to 6 million words - i obviously havent read that. but there's a potted version on his website.
Every story ends with a rant about mendip district council refusing permission for another of his crazy schemes in cheddar gorge
(benito vaselini no not that one, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 13:58, archived)
# Can Cheddar get any ker-azier?
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 14:01, archived)
#
KERAZY!
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 14:03, archived)
# ARGHHHHH MY POOR FUCKING EYES!
(I helped save b3ta! Victor Meldrew, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 14:08, archived)
# *headaches*
(benito vaselini no not that one, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 14:08, archived)
# Hahahahahaha
Christ that burns
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 14:16, archived)
# WTF
What did I do to deserve that
(I helped save b3ta! Paul_P http://www.Paul-hub.com, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 14:28, archived)
# I selected all the text to make it easier to read
but it didn't work. The words are more fucked up than the colour scheme.
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 15:11, archived)
# Thanks for the eye cancer
(I helped save b3ta! Shlvng, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 15:25, archived)
# it would be difficult.
I think it's milked the Gorge and the cheese to death.
(benito vaselini no not that one, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 14:05, archived)
# is Blur's - Country house written about him?
I've always liked to think it is
(I helped save b3ta! prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 14:14, archived)
# Well they're having kids by 13
So it must be done. Keel them.
(cenaris Is dividing 3 by waffle, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 13:41, archived)
# What if you have a mid-life crisis when your 63?
(I helped save b3ta! Whato_Jeeves Did your surgery require a vaginal mesh patch?, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 13:45, archived)
#
then you shall live till 126. have you not consulted the book of midlife crisiseseseses?
(danielgoodm AntlerBoyStudios, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 13:48, archived)
# Fuck that, 40+ years of constant pissy/shitty undies.
No ty.
(I helped save b3ta! Whato_Jeeves Did your surgery require a vaginal mesh patch?, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 13:49, archived)
# So, if I never have a midlife crisis I will live forever
(I helped save b3ta! CanonCaliber A big bore, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 13:46, archived)
#
According to the rulebook, correct. you are one lucky son of a bitch, or unlucky, depending on how much you enjoy life.
(danielgoodm AntlerBoyStudios, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 13:49, archived)
# Cool
Now I'm going to listen to Midlife Crisis.

Right now.

You're perfect, yes it's true...

See? I'm listening to Midlife Crisis right now

(I helped save b3ta! Guff McFlange Yes, but can it be made out of Lego?, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 13:50, archived)
# What if I have a midlife crisis that starts when I'm 21 and continues into my late 50s?
What then?
(I helped save b3ta! zoldergoose, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 13:53, archived)
#
Let me consult the book, it's in the dungeon. Give me five minutes and I'll return, 'less father sees me and chains me up again. Wish me luck.
(danielgoodm AntlerBoyStudios, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 14:01, archived)
#
How much time do you spend making these things? how many hours a day?
(McDazzle Knows not what he does, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 14:14, archived)
#
rarely do I make them in just one day, more of a hobby I work on in free time, so anywhere between a few days and a few weeks. Now, if I didn't have a day job, that time frame would of course be accelerated. I assume you're referring to the sculpture and not the text, correct? Interested in buying any of them (without the haikus, poems, etc., obviously)? If not, any input is always welcome, thanks!
(danielgoodm AntlerBoyStudios, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 17:36, archived)