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# You are in a cave. There is a cow here. A sign reads: Please do not kill the cow. What do you do?

You are in a cave. There is a cow here. A sign reads: Please do not kill the cow. What do you do?
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 22:30, archived)
# >FUCK GANDALF
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 22:30, archived)
# YOU SHALL NOT PASS
THE COW
(I helped save b3ta! Paul_P http://www.Paul-hub.com, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 22:30, archived)
# that's good
i didn't eat the fucker
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 22:34, archived)
# It looks hungry
(I helped save b3ta! Paul_P http://www.Paul-hub.com, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 22:36, archived)
# so would i be if all i ever got was grass
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 22:37, archived)
# I'm trying to get back in shape before trying to fit back in a wet suit
I know how the poor cow feels
(I helped save b3ta! Paul_P http://www.Paul-hub.com, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 22:39, archived)
# try the liver reduction diet for a fortnight
you should lose at least a stone
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 22:43, archived)
# so far my diet is smoking more
and eating less dead animals, pretty much in that order
(I helped save b3ta! Paul_P http://www.Paul-hub.com, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 22:46, archived)
# cut out starchy foods
and severely limit beer intake
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 22:47, archived)
# My beer intake is already limited
by how much I can fit in my mouth
(I helped save b3ta! Paul_P http://www.Paul-hub.com, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 22:50, archived)
# mine is limited
by the fact that i don't actually like beer
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 22:51, archived)
# I can manage to get more vodka in my mouth than beer
(I helped save b3ta! Paul_P http://www.Paul-hub.com, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 22:54, archived)
# same here
although i tend to stick to bacardi these days
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 22:57, archived)
# Achievement Unlocked!
Penetrated The Wizard's Circle.
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 22:32, archived)
# way ahead of you
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 22:35, archived)
#
b3ta.com/board/10324095#post10324098
(I helped save b3ta! Paul_P http://www.Paul-hub.com, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 22:35, archived)
# This - HARD!
(I helped save b3ta! Wobbly Bloke Hello, did I miss anything on, Thu 3 Feb 2011, 7:35, archived)
# rape cow
(I helped save b3ta! Paul_P http://www.Paul-hub.com, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 22:30, archived)
# The cow kicks you, rupturing your liver. You die a slow, agonising death.
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 22:36, archived)
# story of my life
(I helped save b3ta! Paul_P http://www.Paul-hub.com, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 22:37, archived)
# Go west
(I helped save b3ta! littlefish I like cheese, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 22:31, archived)
# >you are in a maze of twisty tunnels. Life is peaceful there.
(I helped save b3ta! h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Wed 2 Feb 2011, 22:33, archived)
# We close our eyes...
(I helped save b3ta! Jimbuktu See? Right here, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 22:38, archived)
# Draw back the curtains
(I helped save b3ta! Paul_P http://www.Paul-hub.com, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 22:39, archived)
# Ha ha ha but also
NO! You young uns! ;D
(I helped save b3ta! Jimbuktu See? Right here, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 22:41, archived)
# yes, but
they never lose the game
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 22:46, archived)
# Smashie
I just had to listen, I used to think they were so cool when I were young! :D
www.youtube.com/watch?v=xl3PYk_s4Kk
(I helped save b3ta! Jimbuktu See? Right here, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 22:50, archived)
# no youtube
but it's on the Demons soundtrack, so i've heard it quite recently.
actually, i may watch demons tonight.
*ponders*
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 22:56, archived)
# Not seen that.
Or heard of it come to that. Is it good?
(I helped save b3ta! Jimbuktu See? Right here, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 23:14, archived)
# 80's italian horror
lamberto bava and dario argento. definitely worth a watch.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 23:17, archived)
# Kill the sign!
...then kill the cow :)
(Mr.Wuepa! 2 sugars please!!, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 22:31, archived)
# I would probably lead the cow to safety
and let it roam free in the rolling hills
(Omicron 2 years gone in a flash, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 22:31, archived)
# >cunt her in the fuck
(I helped save b3ta! prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 22:32, archived)
#
TALK TO COW
(I helped save b3ta! Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 22:32, archived)
# Cow: "Moo"
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 22:35, archived)
# *rolls 20 sided dice*
(I helped save b3ta! Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 22:38, archived)
# KILL COW
(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 22:33, archived)
# You slap furiously at the cow. The cow seems not to notice.
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 22:34, archived)
# fixed
You sl Fwap furiously at the cow. The cow seems not to notice.
(I helped save b3ta! Paul_P http://www.Paul-hub.com, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 22:35, archived)
# like throwing a sausage roll up an entry
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 22:38, archived)
# or shagging Katie Price
(I helped save b3ta! Paul_P http://www.Paul-hub.com, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 22:40, archived)
# like there's any difference?
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 22:42, archived)
# made me laugh when she was seeing Gareth gates
she must have used to boy like a dildo
(I helped save b3ta! Paul_P http://www.Paul-hub.com, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 22:47, archived)
# a dildo would be more animated
and less plastic
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 22:51, archived)
# and wouldn't vibrate as much when it talked
(I helped save b3ta! Paul_P http://www.Paul-hub.com, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 22:53, archived)
# Pfft that made no sense
please ignore the last comment
(I helped save b3ta! Paul_P http://www.Paul-hub.com, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 22:53, archived)
# no!
it made me giggle!
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 22:58, archived)
# Right I really am going to bed now before I get too drunk and end up waking up the the imprint of the keyboard on my face
again
(I helped save b3ta! Paul_P http://www.Paul-hub.com, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 23:01, archived)
# :D
g'night!
i'll be off to bed myself in about an hour
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 23:06, archived)
# You'll be hungry by now and you must obey
instructions so cut off one leg and eat it unless you are veggie in which case kill yourself.
(I helped save b3ta! edjogs Collared doves are shit., Wed 2 Feb 2011, 22:33, archived)
# No, YOU follow the instructions.
In trying to cut of your leg, your stab at it haphazardly with a broken stalagmite. You instantly sever an artery and bleed out within minutes.

Game Over
Ending: Don't play smart with God.
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 22:41, archived)
# Not my leg you pranny!
The leg of beef, or according to the image, leg of veal
(I helped save b3ta! edjogs Collared doves are shit., Wed 2 Feb 2011, 22:43, archived)
# That cow needs therapy.
I'd cheer it up. Then barbeque it. Much later, mind you.
(I helped save b3ta! cowcat Bituminous squeegee, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 22:34, archived)
# I question how the heck I ended up in a cave with a cow.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Howdy, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 22:34, archived)
# ^^
(I helped save b3ta! mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 22:35, archived)
# like you have never woken up next to a cow
(I helped save b3ta! Paul_P http://www.Paul-hub.com, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 22:37, archived)
# Best reply today lololol
(I helped save b3ta! edjogs Collared doves are shit., Wed 2 Feb 2011, 22:41, archived)
# You ponder your recent history, only to find your mind completely blank.
There was nothing before the cave, the cow, and the sign. How queer.
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 22:38, archived)
# I pull the sign from the ground, in case I need a weapon, do a quick search for water, and sit down.
I figure if the cow knows a way out, it'll do so within a day.
If it doesn't - I'll take the sign, the cow, and myself on a spot of exploration, looking for water/light/breeze.
If I become hopelessly lost after two days, (and the person who wrote the sign hasn't put in an appearance), I'll kill the cow with the sign, make a fire with the wood, and cook me some beef.
I would fully expect to be dead from dehydration 48hrs after this event..
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Howdy, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 23:12, archived)
# do you remember around about 5pm you said "I'm going to invent a new cocktail"
it kind of went a bit crazy after that
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 22:42, archived)
# Yeah, that lighter fluid really packs a punch.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Howdy, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 22:49, archived)
# >CALL DEFRA
(I helped save b3ta! h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Wed 2 Feb 2011, 22:34, archived)
# Nothing. Everything's fine.
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 22:35, archived)
# Game Over.
Ending: Contentment.
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 22:37, archived)
# phone police
gary lineker has already killed the cow and is wearing it's skin as a disguise.
(I helped save b3ta! ms morbo lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 22:35, archived)
# Find the joke and milk it for all its worth
(An eejit passing by in a purple satin skirt with sparkly bits, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 22:37, archived)
# This is udderly ridiculous
(I helped save b3ta! Jimbuktu See? Right here, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 22:40, archived)
# >Go North
(I helped save b3ta! Jimbuktu See? Right here, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 22:39, archived)
# You're in a cave.
How the do would you know which way is north?
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 22:41, archived)
# I look at the moss, or I float a magnetized needle in cows piss. wait...
Make cow piss
(I helped save b3ta! Jimbuktu See? Right here, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 22:48, archived)
# >KISS THE COW AND TRY TO INITIATE A LONG-LASTING FRIENDSHIP
(I helped save b3ta! Shlvng, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 22:46, archived)
# Shop more heads on and enter it on Worth1000?
(I helped save b3ta! da5id <YOUR SIG HERE>, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 22:47, archived)
# i see a little silhouett-o of a cow
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 22:50, archived)
# Scaramouche, scaramouche will you do the fandango
(I helped save b3ta! Paul_P http://www.Paul-hub.com, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 22:51, archived)
# Scara MOO sh?
(I helped save b3ta! Jimbuktu See? Right here, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 22:51, archived)
# Needs more badger porn.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Howdy, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 22:51, archived)
# Don't we all
(I helped save b3ta! Jimbuktu See? Right here, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 22:53, archived)
# God, you lot are just a childish clique...
*flounces off*
(I helped save b3ta! da5id <YOUR SIG HERE>, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 22:54, archived)
# Ha-ha! The guy/gal's a legend in their own lunchtime.
An entirely awesome endeavour to fuck just about everyone off.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Howdy, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 22:58, archived)
# Gal. Owned up to having a hubby in another post.
The poor bloke.
(I helped save b3ta! da5id <YOUR SIG HERE>, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 23:01, archived)
#
www.youtube.com/watch?v=vUxiXbJ0CtY
(I helped save b3ta! Paul_P http://www.Paul-hub.com, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 22:56, archived)
#
SAY THORIN Carry Me
(Professor of Lesbonics remembered his password on, Wed 2 Feb 2011, 22:58, archived)