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# subject line needed for the newsletter
I want a wisecrack
that's not utterly cack
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 13:53, archived)
# ROB MANUEL TURNED DOWN CELEBRITY BIG BROTHER.
(I helped save b3ta! Whato_Jeeves Did your surgery require a vaginal mesh patch?, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 13:56, archived)
# I think he's probably too famous
going off the detritus they're using this year. Apart from Jedward, I didn't know who most of them were. To my shame, I knew who some of them were.
(I helped save b3ta! Smallbrainfield, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 14:00, archived)
# I only really knew Jedward and Tara Reid.
Know your enemies.

EDIT: Oh, and Katona.
(I helped save b3ta! Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 14:03, archived)
# is tara reid on it?
she still tryin to feed that monkey?

here endeth my involvement with bb
(I helped save b3ta! Clueless Egg Cunt ...of course i'm beach ready!, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 14:14, archived)
# I think she is.
I only know her from that awful Alone in the Dark film.
(I helped save b3ta! Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 14:16, archived)
# bunny lebowski
(I helped save b3ta! Clueless Egg Cunt ...of course i'm beach ready!, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 14:22, archived)
# Oh yeah of course.
(I helped save b3ta! Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 14:26, archived)
# I know who Amy Childs is
and the speakers wife, & Jedward and Kerry Katona. Dunno about the rest.
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 14:03, archived)
# Interesting fact I discovered when Googling the ex-wives of David Hasselhoff:
When the first Mrs Hasselhoff got divorced, she married a bloke called Michael Knight.
(I helped save b3ta! Smallbrainfield, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 14:13, archived)
# that is a good fact
I google her too. She's younger than I thought. I assumed she was around 60 with lots of work. Not 47 or whatever.
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 14:15, archived)
# tricky - would I? I mean obviously I wouldn't be asked but
but if I was... I don't know. I need the cash. But the thought of being constantly filmed - especially as I'm prone to getting stroppy then sulking, not sure. Think I'd come across very badly.
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 14:00, archived)
# Well, if the strops and the sulking led to proper fits of rage followed by homicidal acts...I'd vote you in.
(I helped save b3ta! Whato_Jeeves Did your surgery require a vaginal mesh patch?, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 14:03, archived)
# I've thought about it and decided if the call comes in
and there's cash on the table and I've got time to not eat for a month to slim down THEN I'd do it.

I know one of the presenters on the after show thingie. Jamie. He runs holymoly and being websitey people I've run into him loads through the years. Maybe he'll get me on. FOR LOTS OF MONEY. Or 50p knowing C5.
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 14:11, archived)
# Can you get me on, please?
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 14:29, archived)
# 0_0
*re-reads*

ah, no, that's not what you said.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 14:43, archived)
# Shares in broom manufacturers plummit.
What happens if I change my password to "minky"?
(I helped save b3ta! The magic of chutney Shakes it like an Instagram filter!, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 13:57, archived)
# if you do I can read your gazzes?
tbh I don't know why I stuck that as my status thingie. Attempt at whimsy probably.
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 14:05, archived)
# ha ha, fair enough :D
It wouldn't make much odds no one ever Gazzes me :( Apart from that Spam-bot lady who gazzed about half of B3ta a few years back)

EDIT: WHOAAA! Steady on :D
(I helped save b3ta! The magic of chutney Shakes it like an Instagram filter!, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 14:17, archived)
# I gazzed you once :D
Asking for your advice on chutney making.

Now...what do I win?
(I helped save b3ta! Whato_Jeeves Did your surgery require a vaginal mesh patch?, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 14:21, archived)
# I've gazzed you and it wasn't even chutney-related. Rob remembers what it was about.
(I helped save b3ta! thecrapgatsby isn't listening LALALALALALA, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 14:27, archived)
# And I'v just gone to all the trouble of gazzing him/her right now....
Now i feel like I just wasted my time...
I wonder if Rob will read it or not....
(I helped save b3ta! The invisable man Is having a long lazy soak in search, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 14:43, archived)
# He only reads the sexy ones.
So yeah...
(I helped save b3ta! Whato_Jeeves Did your surgery require a vaginal mesh patch?, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 14:48, archived)
# :-)
(I helped save b3ta! The invisable man Is having a long lazy soak in search, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 15:08, archived)
# I gotcha
I'm bloated on a surfit of Gazzes now! :D
(I helped save b3ta! The magic of chutney Shakes it like an Instagram filter!, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 14:50, archived)
# CELEBRITY BOOB JOB GOES TITS UP
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 13:57, archived)
# Founder of B3ta website caught on video grooming kids with offers of Fruit Pastilles
(I helped save b3ta! maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 13:58, archived)
# ha
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 14:09, archived)
# 'I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE YELLING ABOUT' - BRICK TAMLAND
(I helped save b3ta! Whato_Jeeves Did your surgery require a vaginal mesh patch?, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 13:59, archived)
# I HAVE A SWELLING IN MY PRISON POPULATION. INTERESTED? CALL etc..
(I helped save b3ta! Smallbrainfield, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 13:59, archived)
# Googling the 'Celebrity' Big Brother housemates so you don't have to.
(I helped save b3ta! Afinkawan Yes I can hear you Clem Fandango, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 13:59, archived)
# haha
(I helped save b3ta! Brandy_Bumwinkle, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 14:00, archived)
# JUST GOT THE SACK THIS MORNING. SUCH IS LIFE AS A POSTMAN.
(I helped save b3ta! Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 13:59, archived)
# Civil unrest quelled by Big Brother relaunch
(benito vaselini no not that one, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 14:00, archived)
# Coming to your inbox like something rude but terribly witty.
(I helped save b3ta! Whato_Jeeves Did your surgery require a vaginal mesh patch?, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 14:01, archived)
# Battle W3re Sent
(I helped save b3ta! Frogbeat, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 14:02, archived)
# Now with 20% more flannels.
(I helped save b3ta! Brandy_Bumwinkle, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 14:04, archived)
# SETUP BEAT PUKE: SETUP BEAT PUKE
SETUP BEAT PUKE
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 14:05, archived)
# I agree with this statment in it's entirety.
Also, decent lurking there.
(I helped save b3ta! Whato_Jeeves Did your surgery require a vaginal mesh patch?, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 14:06, archived)
# SETUP BEAT PUKE
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 14:15, archived)
# SETUP BEAT PUKE SETUP BEAT PUKE SETUP BEAT PUKE SETUP BEAT PUKE SETUP BEAT PUKE
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 14:26, archived)
# SETUP BEAT PUKE?
(I helped save b3ta! Monsieur Monster I heard Seriously talk the first time. in here., Fri 19 Aug 2011, 14:32, archived)
# WHY DOES EVERYONE THINK MY DADS ARE GAY?
(I helped save b3ta! Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 14:07, archived)
# YOUR A LEVEL RESULTS ARE ATTACHED
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 14:10, archived)
# boy with robot hand aged 14 told to take it easy
(I helped save b3ta! prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 14:10, archived)
# gets my vote
(MonkeySandwich eats a kitten, leaves a chair, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 14:11, archived)
# Haha!
(I helped save b3ta! joefish It's hard for thee to kick against the pricks, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 14:26, archived)
# genius.
(I helped save b3ta! thwart is just not feeling it with you, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 14:35, archived)
# Bez told he'll never get cancer
(I helped save b3ta! prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 14:11, archived)
# Ha ha ha ha!
(I helped save b3ta! Smallbrainfield, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 14:15, archived)
# I helped him pull his van out of the mud at Glasonbury
I didn't know it was his and he didn't even say thanks... cunt
(I helped save b3ta! Monsieur Monster I heard Seriously talk the first time. in here., Fri 19 Aug 2011, 14:29, archived)
# my mate went to an after party with him in govanhill...I can't go any further with this story haha
(I helped save b3ta! prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 14:34, archived)
# Aaaaaa.....
Govanhill on

I'm so sorry
(I helped save b3ta! Monsieur Monster I heard Seriously talk the first time. in here., Fri 19 Aug 2011, 14:40, archived)
# FILLING UP YOUR INBOX LIKE THE LOOTERS ARE THE JAILS
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 14:12, archived)
# SEYCHELLES SHARK SHOCK ON THE SEA SHORE
(I helped save b3ta! Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 14:13, archived)
# Give the man a hand... and an arm...and a bit of a leg.
(I helped save b3ta! Whato_Jeeves Did your surgery require a vaginal mesh patch?, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 14:16, archived)
# Apparently sharks don't like the taste of humans.
But of course when they find that out we're already dead.

It's a bit shit, really.
(I helped save b3ta! Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 14:22, archived)
# I bet they do
It's the sort of thing you'd say if you wanted to eat people. It's like pretending to be gay to get close to supermodels.
(I helped save b3ta! Smallbrainfield, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 14:26, archived)
# Crafty bastards, those sharks.
(I helped save b3ta! Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 14:31, archived)
# sharks are full of win
and bits of surfer
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 14:33, archived)
# A-LEVELS COMPARED TO HIGH FIBRE DIET
(I helped save b3ta! Whato_Jeeves Did your surgery require a vaginal mesh patch?, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 14:14, archived)
# RIDLEY SCOTT TO DIRECT NEW HOVIS ADVERT
(benito vaselini no not that one, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 14:15, archived)
# in 3D
(I helped save b3ta! Monsieur Monster I heard Seriously talk the first time. in here., Fri 19 Aug 2011, 14:30, archived)
# 6D, surely?
They hand out individual fans, smoke machines and scratch 'n' sniff cards long with the 3D specs.
(I helped save b3ta! joefish It's hard for thee to kick against the pricks, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 14:36, archived)
# And enter your mind via popcorn suppositories





Alledgedly
(I helped save b3ta! Monsieur Monster I heard Seriously talk the first time. in here., Fri 19 Aug 2011, 14:44, archived)
# You can't spell "Postal Service" without "Letters"
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 14:23, archived)
# You can't spell "T'Postal Service" without "Letters"
technically correcterer
(I helped save b3ta! RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 14:31, archived)
# You stupid prick.
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 14:35, archived)
# BUS CRASH DYSLEXICS FOUND ING......INJER......ENJUR........HURT
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 14:31, archived)
# joe pantoliano's wife starts planning new kitchen after seeing bad boys 3 announced on imdb
p.s. I submitted a game to the newsletter, did you see it?
(I helped save b3ta! yanmania... last shagged your mum on, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 14:35, archived)
# Special this week only - full of unusually long sentences.
(I helped save b3ta! Ugi , it's a game of give and cake, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 14:38, archived)