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# My car blew up a couple of weeks ago...
...so I've been getting the bus into work whilst I sort out a new one.

You meet all sorts of interesting characters at the bus stop. I'm working on a few children's titles at the moment, in fact:



Mister Spitalot does that crap footballer's spitting - the little pointless ones that aren't really worth much on their own, but when done with the regular and alarming frequency Mr. Spitalot favours (like a moist atomic clock), it's amazing how he doesn't dessicate within minutes.

Little Miss Belches-As-She-Smokes is either that colour due to something she got from the 99p shop that she rubs into her quivering blubber, or from some sort of preserving process similar to kippering. With every inhale and exhale, there's an audible belch to entertain bystanders.

I'm currently working on a couple of others: Mister Smells-Like-Cannabis-At-7:30AM and Little Miss Underage-Pregnancy-Whose-Child-Shouts-'Bugger'-All-The-Time.

I can't wait to get my car and rejoin polite society.
(I helped save b3ta! Doctor When May your wife shat and chipper, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 11:07, archived)
# Nice!
(I helped save b3ta! Bela Lugosi's Dad, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 11:09, archived)
# i'm sure i've seen some of these characters i feel sorry for you having to join the unwashed masses.
(I helped save b3ta! Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 11:11, archived)
# They look at me funny.
It might be that they've never seen a hat with a brim that goes all the way round before... but I reckon it's because I'm reading one of them "books" without moving my lips.
(I helped save b3ta! Doctor When May your wife shat and chipper, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 11:44, archived)
# perhaps it's your splendid mutton chops
and that you don't get off at the dole office stop.

/broadstereotyping
(I helped save b3ta! Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 12:34, archived)
# What sort of hat is it?
Top, bowler, porkpie? Or maybe a trilby?
(I helped save b3ta! Photoshop Bitch 2014 edition, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 12:46, archived)
# Today's Hat du Jour:
The Snap-Brim Fedora
(I helped save b3ta! Doctor When May your wife shat and chipper, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 12:53, archived)
# Hahaha
I bet you got to see Little Miss Child Support Benefits too?:P
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 11:12, archived)
# How about Mr. Thousand-Yard-Stare, or Little Miss Haddock?
I'd love to have a motorcycle of some sort, so I don't have to be stuck in a tin can full of mentals and chavs.
(I helped save b3ta! Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 11:17, archived)
# Why are you drawing the passengers of my bus? haha
it's actually quite depressingly accurate have a click
(I helped save b3ta! maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 11:21, archived)
# Hahahaha
I feel your pain. Surely it's time for a cull?
(I helped save b3ta! spazzcaptain Misses Valin @, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 11:25, archived)
# Well, spitting is a good way to spread TB...
...and they're planning on shooting badgers for doing that, so...
(I helped save b3ta! Doctor When May your wife shat and chipper, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 11:37, archived)
# All chavs are badgers?........
...er.........they're.....made of wood? Very small rocks.
(I helped save b3ta! Jabberwoc misses D.R. and Quinch, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 12:47, archived)
# Good old fashioned eugenics should do the trick.
If someone fails their GCSEs, they're forcibly castrated so they can't spread their genes.
(I helped save b3ta! Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 11:40, archived)
# this is why i'd rather walk than get on the peasantwagon
'little' miss? hahaha nice
(polished turd 404 pixels wide, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 11:26, archived)
# Lovely idea...
...but they don't pay me enough to want to walk a 22 mile round trip to work.
(I helped save b3ta! Doctor When May your wife shat and chipper, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 12:02, archived)
# "Mister Smells-Like-Cannabis-At-7:30AM"
I didn't realise we got the same bus :)
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 11:27, archived)
# haha
i prefer not to leave it that late, myself ;)

edit- i may have a problem. my last three posts are all about teh loldrugs
(polished turd 404 pixels wide, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 11:28, archived)
# The ones who smell of Skunk is disgusting it smells like someone has been rolling in dog shit.
I should start a campaign "If you're going to smoke weed, make it the nice smelling stuff!"
(I helped save b3ta! maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 11:31, archived)
# I used to live with a group of guys who all smoked it, but it was the nasty smelling kind, like they'd stuck it up their arses beforehand.
(I helped save b3ta! Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 11:37, archived)
# Good shit.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Howdy, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 11:48, archived)
# Yes thanks
Firm, no splashback, not much wiping - doesn't get a lot better really.
(I helped save b3ta! Doctor When May your wife shat and chipper, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 15:59, archived)
# I'm all for having a bit of fibre for breakfast...
...just not that type. He probably operates heavy machinery or something, too.
(I helped save b3ta! Doctor When May your wife shat and chipper, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 11:41, archived)
#
(I helped save b3ta! prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 11:38, archived)
# [PrtScr]
(I helped save b3ta! Bela Lugosi's Dad, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 12:01, archived)
# 8D
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Howdy, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 11:49, archived)
# Needs more Mister Gangsta-Wit-Phone-Playin-Gangsta-Rap-Loud
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 12:00, archived)
# Why do they do that?
The annoying little "tss-tss-tss-tss" from earbuds is annoying enough but tolerable, but listening to it on the tiny, tinny speaker of a mobile phone - out loud - should really be punishable by death simply for crimes against bass.

Real men use enclosed monitor headphones, or carry a 2x18 bandpass enclosure round with them for true soundz.
(I helped save b3ta! Doctor When May your wife shat and chipper, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 12:07, archived)
# One of the worst crimes against bass? Identity theft.
(MrCanoehead Marzipaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 13:31, archived)
# hahaha, nicely
people who spit in public are vile, some of them do it as if it makes them seem tough. i hate when you can hear actually hear them blowing the thick phlegm from behind their lips, *ppppfffthwock*. yuck.
(Rattlehead all time with the gay, forever touching, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 12:06, archived)
# Don't go to China.
They love a bit of phlegm, hawked up from the very depths of their lungs at great volume (both kinds: sheer mass and loudness) - one of the most alarming things I experienced when I was in Harbin, apart from the public toilets.
(I helped save b3ta! Doctor When May your wife shat and chipper, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 12:10, archived)
# I well believe you, my mate has just spent 2 months there.
It's one thing I noticed about the Chinese men in my town, they love a good spit!

[RACIST MODE OFF]
(Rattlehead all time with the gay, forever touching, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 12:13, archived)
# I was on a Chinese bus where everyone opened the window and gave a full broadside as it departed the bus station
(I helped save b3ta! MartinH, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 18:37, archived)
# A quality chinese item has landed today, it contains such useful information as
"If you use the place of honor machine of English version, the connecting of the right side line diagram mark marking must may is so humanized while being usage ICSP to weave a distance.But you can make reference to the place of honor machine of Chinese version."

O_o

edit: also, has a mr mans


(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 12:13, archived)
# haha you are properly mental
just how i like my mentals :D
(polished turd 404 pixels wide, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 12:53, archived)
# yay
:D
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 13:35, archived)
# Haha aah the public
I always seem to end up chatting with the worst of them because it's much easier than looking disgusted and edging away
(I helped save b3ta! Antubis right round, like a record, lion, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 12:43, archived)
# Ha ha.
Characters are the worst kind of characters.
(I helped save b3ta! atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 12:49, archived)
# Nice work, sir.
Have a Mr Mean.
(I helped save b3ta! Smallbrainfield, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 13:20, archived)
# BLOB DAY! BLOB DAY!
(I helped save b3ta! atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 13:27, archived)
# *steals ideas*
Would make a good "On the Poverty Wagon" series.
(I helped save b3ta! Yo 'Ho of Charlie mass-market saucetrepreneur, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 13:21, archived)
# You've done a great service by doing this.
Until I read belching quivering blubber, and saw what you had drawn, I was rapidly approaching my axe murdering mode.

/why do people vote against their best interests blog
(I helped save b3ta! cowcat Bituminous squeegee, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 15:20, archived)