It's not a biggieBut I've had Geography coursework I'm ment to have been doing since Febuary. So far I've got some fieldnotes (but I've lost half of them) a couple of maps of where in the UK Cromar is that I printed off the web and some photos. I've been telling all and sundry who ask that I've been spending every waking moment on it (like I'm ment to be doing it now- mum gave me the day off school to stay and do it) but I haven't touched it. I haven't got enough to meet the deadline for having very basic things done, which was September. watermelon.
(
Whillow,
Tue 25 Nov 2003, 12:02,
archived)
you're fuckedi did that at school, and failed* all but 2 exams
my advice, quit fucking around, and get your ass into gear. This is coming from someone who has been there AND done that
*by which, i mean i got a D or lower, thus meaning i couldnt do A levels
(my advice, quit fucking around, and get your ass into gear. This is coming from someone who has been there AND done that
*by which, i mean i got a D or lower, thus meaning i couldnt do A levels
lo, the OTHER greebo warrior,
Tue 25 Nov 2003, 12:06,
archived)
Yeah, I knowI'm just gonna go do some desire line graphs and see if I can get anywhere after that, so off now. The problem is that untill coursework came along I was doing fine because I can always get the answers in an exam pretty well and get As most of the time, but my general work is shite.
( Whillow,
Tue 25 Nov 2003, 12:25,
archived)
You will fail them allbecause you can't spell for shite.
Still, this country needs factory workers.
(,
Tue 25 Nov 2003, 17:20,
archived)
Still, this country needs factory workers.
I did thatand did fine, dont worry about it, gcse's are a breeze...
but
Your probabbly still fucked and destined to drive round one of them road sweepy things in some city. Actually thats quite cool i wouldnt mind one of them. Whatever. Watermelon.
(but
Your probabbly still fucked and destined to drive round one of them road sweepy things in some city. Actually thats quite cool i wouldnt mind one of them. Whatever. Watermelon.
uberphil,
Fri 28 Nov 2003, 12:42,
archived)
I did much the same onceI prepared 6 months worth of geography course work in one day.
I was meant to be analysing acid rain.
I simply dipped a few bits of litmus paper into some sarsons, and re-wrote a few stories nabbed from the Guardian.
Passed with flying colours. Yay.
(I was meant to be analysing acid rain.
I simply dipped a few bits of litmus paper into some sarsons, and re-wrote a few stories nabbed from the Guardian.
Passed with flying colours. Yay.
rob,
Tue 25 Nov 2003, 12:11,
archived)
GeniousI really should go do this now, it's your fault for starting b3ta...
I don't think I've ever actually done a piece of coursework outside the week before it's due in.
(I don't think I've ever actually done a piece of coursework outside the week before it's due in.
Whillow,
Tue 25 Nov 2003, 12:23,
archived)
my final geography courseworkfor a-levels:
I decided to analyse various locations on the "Chevin" (big hill on my back doorstep) for the environment, and the plants that grew there.
I did sod all until the last week, where i proceeded walk up the Chevin, look where there was some grass, and where there wasnt, make up a load of plants that might grow then, and create a table of results with percentages that all added up (the hardest part)
After this, I went up the chevin again, took 15 photographs pretty much at random with my crap digicam, labelled al;l the pics how i wanted cos the resolution was so crap, invented some wind speeds, invented a load of soil pHs.. and wrote some generic crud about what grew there, using common sense.
i got a D... doh.
My chemistry went very wrong too.. I actually tried, but it all went wrong, so I wasted about 12 hours of well meaning work, to scrap these inaccurate results.. and uhm.. make up around 200 completely non-existant ones. I then had to write an entire investigationon this (i managed 27 pages)
I got an E... doh again.
I'm now destined for Huddersfield Uni, not Leeds...
TRUST ME, YOU HAVE TO BE A GOD LIKE MR MANUEL TO DO THIS RIGHT.
(I decided to analyse various locations on the "Chevin" (big hill on my back doorstep) for the environment, and the plants that grew there.
I did sod all until the last week, where i proceeded walk up the Chevin, look where there was some grass, and where there wasnt, make up a load of plants that might grow then, and create a table of results with percentages that all added up (the hardest part)
After this, I went up the chevin again, took 15 photographs pretty much at random with my crap digicam, labelled al;l the pics how i wanted cos the resolution was so crap, invented some wind speeds, invented a load of soil pHs.. and wrote some generic crud about what grew there, using common sense.
i got a D... doh.
My chemistry went very wrong too.. I actually tried, but it all went wrong, so I wasted about 12 hours of well meaning work, to scrap these inaccurate results.. and uhm.. make up around 200 completely non-existant ones. I then had to write an entire investigationon this (i managed 27 pages)
I got an E... doh again.
I'm now destined for Huddersfield Uni, not Leeds...
TRUST ME, YOU HAVE TO BE A GOD LIKE MR MANUEL TO DO THIS RIGHT.
MCQ Cartoons n' shit: bagowank.com,
Sat 29 Nov 2003, 0:37,
archived)
A level geographyI made up the flow pattern for a river somewhere near my house in lovely Norfolk. They were ok, because I copied them from a book, changing them slightly to avoid detection. Unfortunately, I unwittingly changed them so they looked like a far more complicated pattern. The examiner spotted this and interogated me about it. All could say was that the water went round and round in the stream. The words 'Helicoidal flow' still brings me out in cold sweats. I still hate geography.
(,
Tue 25 Nov 2003, 16:07,
archived)
I would just like to saythat my dissertation was officially 1 years work including 12 practical sessions, and monthly updates with my tutor.
In reality, i bluffed my lazyass way past the silly mare for all of our meetings. The work started 10 days before being handed in. There was half a practical involving me blowing up my guitar amp with a tone generator.(it was on fourier analysis to test frequency range of electrical equipment by sending square waves through it)
I didn't sleep for the last three days.
After 3 years of starting assesments the night before the deadline and ensuring myself it wouldn't happen again, you think i may have learnt.
And the woman believed me so much, i got a first for it.
(In reality, i bluffed my lazyass way past the silly mare for all of our meetings. The work started 10 days before being handed in. There was half a practical involving me blowing up my guitar amp with a tone generator.(it was on fourier analysis to test frequency range of electrical equipment by sending square waves through it)
I didn't sleep for the last three days.
After 3 years of starting assesments the night before the deadline and ensuring myself it wouldn't happen again, you think i may have learnt.
And the woman believed me so much, i got a first for it.
Ulic hissing slightly,
Tue 25 Nov 2003, 16:16,
archived)
in a similar vein...I watermeloned up a science experiment for my GCSE final exams, so I copied word for word, number for number, my mates results.
He had his handed back first with a note saying that the examiners didn't belive his results as they were "too good to be true". I was a tad worried...
...until that is I got mine back with a note saying "Excellent set of results".
I got a higher grade than him. I managed to convince him that he didn't want to protest his grade as it would expose what I'd done.
(,
Tue 25 Nov 2003, 12:31,
archived)
He had his handed back first with a note saying that the examiners didn't belive his results as they were "too good to be true". I was a tad worried...
...until that is I got mine back with a note saying "Excellent set of results".
I got a higher grade than him. I managed to convince him that he didn't want to protest his grade as it would expose what I'd done.
HehI did the same for GCSE Geography.
Here's the 100 questionnaires. Yes, I did stand in the pouring rain in the city centre asking people. No, of course I wasn't filling them all in myself whilst you were preattling on about contour lines and what they mean.
And all this info about the number of cars going across a certian bridge, of course I sat there for an hour counting. No I didn't make up the graph, then fit the numbers in the tabel to fit it with an error of abotu 10%.
Come to think of it, I think GCSE Biology was fairly simlar. I'd never get the results from experiments even within 50% of what was expected. So you draw a fairly good graph, plot points sort of close to the curve, then read off the values to go into the table. Works wonders if you understand the experiment and what the results should be, but are using utterly shite equpitment.
(Here's the 100 questionnaires. Yes, I did stand in the pouring rain in the city centre asking people. No, of course I wasn't filling them all in myself whilst you were preattling on about contour lines and what they mean.
And all this info about the number of cars going across a certian bridge, of course I sat there for an hour counting. No I didn't make up the graph, then fit the numbers in the tabel to fit it with an error of abotu 10%.
Come to think of it, I think GCSE Biology was fairly simlar. I'd never get the results from experiments even within 50% of what was expected. So you draw a fairly good graph, plot points sort of close to the curve, then read off the values to go into the table. Works wonders if you understand the experiment and what the results should be, but are using utterly shite equpitment.
Not Called Dave,
Tue 25 Nov 2003, 14:28,
archived)
did the samehad some survey to do, i think it was "the heights of buildings", stood there for a bit, and then when we were sure nobody was around, went to the pub.
was in college not school though.
(,
Tue 25 Nov 2003, 14:34,
archived)
was in college not school though.
Di you knowIf you plot a graph in MS Excel from data, you can drag the points on the graph around and the data changes.
Finding that changed my whole opinion of Microsoft.
Pure genius.
(,
Tue 25 Nov 2003, 14:56,
archived)
Finding that changed my whole opinion of Microsoft.
Pure genius.
yupwe've used it for our physical chemistry practicals many a time.
i'm doing third year chemistry at university now ;)
(,
Tue 25 Nov 2003, 20:17,
archived)
i'm doing third year chemistry at university now ;)
HahahYeah, I also did both the stones and the data survey lies... Actually, for doing a tourism survey about where people came from I just sat in the shade somewhere and rang up some mates, hence why all my friends from around Britain were inexplicably in Cromar for the weekend...
Biology's great- since I can answer basically any question she throws at me I can get off not doing work easier. Though we're now doing reproduction, and thinking about sex and my hideous teacher isn't that great...
(Biology's great- since I can answer basically any question she throws at me I can get off not doing work easier. Though we're now doing reproduction, and thinking about sex and my hideous teacher isn't that great...
Whillow,
Tue 25 Nov 2003, 15:45,
archived)
You should trytalking about sex in religious studies. that is far more disturbin. I am going to need lots of therapy once i leave school.
(,
Thu 27 Nov 2003, 22:34,
archived)
For my A-level geographyfieldwork I couldn't be bothered to wade about in rivers measuring pebbles. So my friend and I wrote a program to simulate meanders and do all sorts of clever things, like adding a degree of varying randomness to make the results look real.
Needless to say, writing said program took a hell of a lot longer and took a lot more brain power than just measuring stones. Anyway, it worked and I got an A. Yay!
(Needless to say, writing said program took a hell of a lot longer and took a lot more brain power than just measuring stones. Anyway, it worked and I got an A. Yay!
splorp ®,
Tue 25 Nov 2003, 15:12,
archived)
I remembera mate of mine and myself doing that for a major physical chemistry practical at A-Level. Something to do with rates of reactions, orders of reaction, all that bollocks.
We made this marvelous spreadsheet - whack in starting concentrations, rate of reaction and all that, and wham, you'd have a lovely data set complete with errors. Nice.
(,
Wed 26 Nov 2003, 1:25,
archived)
We made this marvelous spreadsheet - whack in starting concentrations, rate of reaction and all that, and wham, you'd have a lovely data set complete with errors. Nice.
At uni....I once had some coursework for a subsid module, that was prt of me Science Foundation Year (equiv. of A levels). I was supposed to spend most of the semester drawing pictures of the moon, then got to the last day and realised i'd done fook all. some hefty internet research later i had all the data i needed, but had ended up putting more effort into faking the results than i would have done into actually just taking them in the first place.
(,
Tue 2 Dec 2003, 0:59,
archived)
I do that all the time.
No, wait, I *used* to do that all the time.
(,
Tue 25 Nov 2003, 16:24,
archived)
No, wait, I *used* to do that all the time.
don't listen!Don't believe them! I did what you're doing and got 4 As, 5 Bs, a C and a D (for Deutsch). The GCSE's really are getting easier!
I don't try to condone the act of slacking, it would probably be a good idea to do at least a wee bit of work.
(,
Thu 27 Nov 2003, 18:49,
archived)
I don't try to condone the act of slacking, it would probably be a good idea to do at least a wee bit of work.
I got given an assignmenton wide area networking, we had a spec and had to come up with a suitable WAN, complete with costings and a description of all the technologies involved.
To complete this assignment I simply rang BT's wide area network sales and read them the requirements and wrote down what they said, inserting the phrase (see chapter 2) next to the first mention of ISDN, (see chapter 3) after the first mention of ATM (ADSL didn't exist back then)
The other chapters, one on each technology where web pages copied from american sites then run through the Word grammar checker to turn them into UK english, since I knew the college checked for this sort of copying by throwing some of your paragraphs into altavista.
It gets better though. I lent the assignment to a mate who was struggling and he changed the font from 12pt to 10pt and put on a different front cover.
The result? I got a distinction, he got a pass.
(To complete this assignment I simply rang BT's wide area network sales and read them the requirements and wrote down what they said, inserting the phrase (see chapter 2) next to the first mention of ISDN, (see chapter 3) after the first mention of ATM (ADSL didn't exist back then)
The other chapters, one on each technology where web pages copied from american sites then run through the Word grammar checker to turn them into UK english, since I knew the college checked for this sort of copying by throwing some of your paragraphs into altavista.
It gets better though. I lent the assignment to a mate who was struggling and he changed the font from 12pt to 10pt and put on a different front cover.
The result? I got a distinction, he got a pass.
Lum,
Thu 27 Nov 2003, 22:36,
archived)
Doesn't everybody pull stunts like that...when they can't be arsed?
I did a similar thing with both my Higher English and my CSYS Computing.
For my Higher English, i generally couldn't be bothered but i had to do a RPR (essentially a critical analysis of personal reading) as it accounted for a third of the marks. I never bothered handing in a rough draft and just vaguely murmured something to my English teacher when she brought the subject up.
It eventually got to two weeks after the thing was due in before i produced a final draft in a couple of hours entitled something like "The use of contrast in the Martian landscape as a thematic metaphor in Kim Stanley Robinson's Green Mars". After giving it a preliminary mark of an 'A' she was suitably impressed. She'd written me off long ago as a deadloss.
I neglected to mention to her that i'd made up the all of the quotes used or that i'd simply regurgitated an idea i'd touched upon in an essay i did at Standard Grade on the preceding title in the trilogy - the rules only stated you weren't allowed to use a text you'd read at S-Grade. Nothing in there about sequels...
As for my CSYS Computing, that was a damn sight more dangerous as the project was assessed by a visiting examiner who would discuss your project with you - in our case a lecturer in computing at one of the local uni's.
I managed to get away with it despite simply printing off some suitably impressive proggie i'd written in (IIRC) Z80 Assembler years before hand as well as making up the test data and documentation a few days before it had to be handed in. I was helped by the fact the assessor didn't actually get to see the code in action - it only bore a passing resemblance to what i said it did. I got 34 out of 40 for that...
(,
Fri 28 Nov 2003, 21:45,
archived)
I did a similar thing with both my Higher English and my CSYS Computing.
For my Higher English, i generally couldn't be bothered but i had to do a RPR (essentially a critical analysis of personal reading) as it accounted for a third of the marks. I never bothered handing in a rough draft and just vaguely murmured something to my English teacher when she brought the subject up.
It eventually got to two weeks after the thing was due in before i produced a final draft in a couple of hours entitled something like "The use of contrast in the Martian landscape as a thematic metaphor in Kim Stanley Robinson's Green Mars". After giving it a preliminary mark of an 'A' she was suitably impressed. She'd written me off long ago as a deadloss.
I neglected to mention to her that i'd made up the all of the quotes used or that i'd simply regurgitated an idea i'd touched upon in an essay i did at Standard Grade on the preceding title in the trilogy - the rules only stated you weren't allowed to use a text you'd read at S-Grade. Nothing in there about sequels...
As for my CSYS Computing, that was a damn sight more dangerous as the project was assessed by a visiting examiner who would discuss your project with you - in our case a lecturer in computing at one of the local uni's.
I managed to get away with it despite simply printing off some suitably impressive proggie i'd written in (IIRC) Z80 Assembler years before hand as well as making up the test data and documentation a few days before it had to be handed in. I was helped by the fact the assessor didn't actually get to see the code in action - it only bore a passing resemblance to what i said it did. I got 34 out of 40 for that...