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# Not an image, a funnay link, but an amusing story. true, no less
I realize most of ya'll are Brits, pardon my US slang and I'll try to keep this as easy to understand as possible.

Recently I have found myself dating a lovely young lady, however as she is not on birth control, we must stoop to using rubbers and the like to keep the baby batter from cooking in the oven.

I decided to fill-up yesterday on the way home and strolled into the store to get some supplies in addition to gas. Usually, I buy the Blue box of Trojan condoms; however this particular store only had a red box.

I peered about the store for other customers and after seeing the last one leave, I asked the attendant, female (cute too), what the difference was between box colors as I was too ignorant to read the box for myself. She immediately turned two shades of red, apparently embarrassed, and got quite shy. She beckoned me to come close to the counter and in a low voice whispered 'The blue box has lubricated ones; the red box ones are dry.'

Mind you, all this was explained to me without her referencing the box, implying to me that she was an expert in the field. She and I realized this at the same time and she turned a further two shades of red, nearly the same color as the box.

I started laughing to myself at her embarrassment to which she lost all eye contact with me for the duration of the sale. After paying I proceeded to walk out, she said 'Have a nice lay... uh day.'

I nearly had to change pants when I got home from laughing so hard all the way there.
(terron, Fri 16 Jul 2004, 18:10, archived)
# Rubber Jonnies

that's all
(I helped save b3ta! Hankster, Fri 16 Jul 2004, 18:12, archived)
# TJ
where's the fookin newsletter?
(I helped save b3ta! BamaSS, Fri 16 Jul 2004, 18:12, archived)
# Rob's doing it solo today (oo er)
So it's late
(I helped save b3ta! Hankster, Fri 16 Jul 2004, 18:13, archived)
# ...
www.b3ta.com/newsletter/issue144/
(Frugle, Fri 16 Jul 2004, 18:13, archived)
# Rob gave a couple
of preview links to keep us busy. Check glassco.cx
The advert site is very nice also has a nice bittorrent link to download the lot which I have used.
(I helped save b3ta! Fronkle99, Fri 16 Jul 2004, 18:22, archived)
# you would expect her to know her products
if she was any good at her job
(Frugle, Fri 16 Jul 2004, 18:12, archived)
# that second sentence
is quite derogatory.
(I helped save b3ta! Funtastic Pony Magic, Fri 16 Jul 2004, 18:13, archived)
# seconded.
(nuttybunny is not jesus though I have the same initials., Fri 16 Jul 2004, 18:14, archived)
# Yeah, Baby Batter?
I prefer Knob Vomit
(I helped save b3ta! Hankster, Fri 16 Jul 2004, 18:15, archived)
# I think
it was the usage of the word 'stoop' that was deemed offensive.
(I helped save b3ta! Ratsta, Fri 16 Jul 2004, 18:19, archived)
# I know
I'm just in a silly mood, the the board was very unfluffy this afternoon, so I'm being foolish and immature
(I helped save b3ta! Hankster, Fri 16 Jul 2004, 18:21, archived)
# Trouser Custard
(I helped save b3ta! Benny on the Loose; a permanent solution to a temporary problem, Fri 16 Jul 2004, 18:19, archived)
# Gentleman Paste
(I helped save b3ta! Hankster, Fri 16 Jul 2004, 18:20, archived)
# agreed
although maybe it has something to do with the shitty availability of birth control in this fucked-up, ruled by the church, religious right wing excuse for a government, stop me before I kill geoprge bush of a country!
(I helped save b3ta! BamaSS, Fri 16 Jul 2004, 18:15, archived)
# actually
she isn't on birth control because it makes her boobs grow. she doesn't enjoy that as much as I will once she gets back on it.
(terron, Fri 16 Jul 2004, 18:18, archived)
# thanks
we WANTED to know that.
(I helped save b3ta! Funtastic Pony Magic, Fri 16 Jul 2004, 18:23, archived)
# speak for yourself.
(schnurricane, Fri 16 Jul 2004, 18:24, archived)
# How selfish of her
expecting you to use condoms, just because the hormones in birth control pills are altering her body.
(I helped save b3ta! Mystery_Bob, Fri 16 Jul 2004, 18:25, archived)
# i *heart* you Mystery_Bob.
*applauds*
(nuttybunny is not jesus though I have the same initials., Fri 16 Jul 2004, 18:28, archived)
# with every passing moment
you make Americans look less and less intelligent.

I am torn between telling you to stop and begging you to continue.
(I helped save b3ta! Scoopzilla http://www.slapwatch.com now get to fuck, Fri 16 Jul 2004, 18:30, archived)
# :(
I am American too, ya know...
s'not so much the whole country as certain people/administrations.

I want to kill bush too.
(I helped save b3ta! Funtastic Pony Magic, Fri 16 Jul 2004, 18:19, archived)
# i'm dead serious about starting that support club for Americans
;D
(nuttybunny is not jesus though I have the same initials., Fri 16 Jul 2004, 18:21, archived)
# were you talking about the sentence about baby batter
or the one about how he'll try to make it easy for british types to understand?
(schnurricane, Fri 16 Jul 2004, 18:21, archived)
# kill him?
you should be voting for him. Then we can watch the Iran invasion on telly.
(I helped save b3ta! Bling Blong Bling Blong, Fri 16 Jul 2004, 18:22, archived)
# Iran???
Oh no, we're coming after you guys next.

Then those frickin Canadians... smarmy beer drinking commie bastrards.

This moment brought to you by Budweiser, shittiest beer ever made
(I helped save b3ta! Scoopzilla http://www.slapwatch.com now get to fuck, Fri 16 Jul 2004, 18:37, archived)
# please stay where you are
the Secret Service will be with you shortly.
(I helped save b3ta! Scoopzilla http://www.slapwatch.com now get to fuck, Fri 16 Jul 2004, 18:31, archived)
# Agreed
(I helped save b3ta! Mystery_Bob, Fri 16 Jul 2004, 18:22, archived)
# Not even my American side
Finds that funny. Couldn't you have made an animation?
Even an iPod bandwagon would have pleased me more.
(r3load, Fri 16 Jul 2004, 18:18, archived)
# have you considered
trading it in for a slightly used-German side? ;)

'Ning/'Noon to you. :)
(nuttybunny is not jesus though I have the same initials., Fri 16 Jul 2004, 18:19, archived)
# Don't
I hate Germans too.
I only like England/English.

Edit: 'Ning/'Noon to you too.
(r3load, Fri 16 Jul 2004, 18:22, archived)
# Oh right
in that case...

*leaves*
(I helped save b3ta! Mystery_Bob, Fri 16 Jul 2004, 18:23, archived)
# huzaah, rid of another bloody foreigner
*rushes out to purchase the daily mail*
(I helped save b3ta! lemony, Fri 16 Jul 2004, 18:28, archived)
# *snicker*
*goes back into hiding*
(nuttybunny is not jesus though I have the same initials., Fri 16 Jul 2004, 18:29, archived)
#
www.bnp.org.uk/
(I helped save b3ta! Hankster, Fri 16 Jul 2004, 18:25, archived)
# *adds to favourites*
(I helped save b3ta! Benny on the Loose; a permanent solution to a temporary problem, Fri 16 Jul 2004, 18:27, archived)
#
www.rsdb.net
(r3load, Fri 16 Jul 2004, 18:28, archived)
# How useful.
*adds to favourites*
(I helped save b3ta! Benny on the Loose; a permanent solution to a temporary problem, Fri 16 Jul 2004, 18:32, archived)
# I think he's missing my point
(I helped save b3ta! Hankster, Fri 16 Jul 2004, 18:32, archived)
# There's always a lot
of points being missed in here. I lost two just the other day. Found 'em later down the back of the sofa.
(I helped save b3ta! Benny on the Loose; a permanent solution to a temporary problem, Fri 16 Jul 2004, 18:33, archived)
# that's a bit
on the rough side, isn't it?

"There's two things I can't stand. One is intolerance of others and the other is the GODDAMNED DUTCH"

Bestest quote eve.
(I helped save b3ta! Scoopzilla http://www.slapwatch.com now get to fuck, Fri 16 Jul 2004, 18:27, archived)
# does anybody have any wayla
screensavers, i just got a new comp finely crafted for my by the dancing yak and I need to pretty it up





fanking you
(Lady has been spooked by a duck, Fri 16 Jul 2004, 18:18, archived)
# Hardcore midget porn
Thats what my desktop is at the moment. There will probs be a midget porn screensaver somwhere. Alturnatively turn your screen off you power hungry foe.
(r3load, Fri 16 Jul 2004, 18:21, archived)
# yay!
I've never been anyone's foe before!





do I get a badge?
(Lady has been spooked by a duck, Fri 16 Jul 2004, 18:22, archived)
# Yes
But you must make it yourself
(r3load, Fri 16 Jul 2004, 18:24, archived)
# and sell it
on the bay??



hatches ingenious plan to make lots of money*



*may not actually work
(Lady has been spooked by a duck, Fri 16 Jul 2004, 18:26, archived)
# TJ: Worth1000 has got b3ta
on their links list.
(el_meerkat, Fri 16 Jul 2004, 18:19, archived)
# What I don't understand
Is why you posted it.

Aren't the blue ones the 'extra small' size?
(drnuclear, Fri 16 Jul 2004, 18:22, archived)
# They don't do small
They were going to make them 'jumbo' 'collossal' and 'super-collossal'. But then they just made the rubber more stretchy. So your willy gets suffocated unless you drive a BMW.
(Don Jaime, Fri 16 Jul 2004, 18:28, archived)
# Do you know what would have made this story better?
If the counter attendant had been either REALLY old or REALLY young (like 10).

Although I'm glad you found yourself. I didn't know you were missing!
(I helped save b3ta! Scoopzilla http://www.slapwatch.com now get to fuck, Fri 16 Jul 2004, 18:24, archived)
# I guess
this was one of those 'had to be there' moments. Have a good weekend all.
(terron, Fri 16 Jul 2004, 18:27, archived)
# i usually ask where the fitting rooms are
when i buy condoms... and at the end of the sale when the clerk says to "Have a nice Day (or night)" i usually smile and say "oh i will, don't you worry"
(I helped save b3ta! rawr isn't really here., Fri 16 Jul 2004, 18:40, archived)