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Trying Out My New Laser Gun

CFB
It's great, it's got disintigrate/reintigrate, grow/shrink and some others I haven't thought of yet. Suggestions welcome

(

Sheep!, Tue 9 Jan 2007, 1:00, archived)

Masturbate.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 9 Jan 2007, 1:00, archived)

What's the opposite of masturbate though?

Exacerbate?

(

Sheep!, Tue 9 Jan 2007, 1:02, archived)

intrabate.

it's when you push the jizz back up your japsy.

(

urbane legend i have known the inexorable sadness of pencils, Tue 9 Jan 2007, 1:02, archived)

how does it smell?

(

Sonic 2 and Knuckles, Tue 9 Jan 2007, 1:05, archived)

delicious.

just ask your mum

(

urbane legend i have known the inexorable sadness of pencils, Tue 9 Jan 2007, 1:05, archived)

You don't want to know the answer to that,

honestly.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 9 Jan 2007, 1:02, archived)

Ann Widdecombe.

(imnotplayinganymore Like a rock. Like a planet., Tue 9 Jan 2007, 1:03, archived)

It's where you move your hand down and up

instead of up and down.

If done correctly you should immediately suck all sperm within a 6 foot radius back up your urethra.

(

Yeknom. Incontinence and Premature ejaculation? Easy come, easy go., Tue 9 Jan 2007, 1:03, archived)

My first stroke is usually a down though.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 9 Jan 2007, 1:07, archived)

weirdo

(imnotplayinganymore Like a rock. Like a planet., Tue 9 Jan 2007, 1:07, archived)

You honestly start with an up?

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 9 Jan 2007, 1:08, archived)

everyone does!

you're a weirdo and a pervert and you're doing it wrong and nobody will ever love you if you carry on and it might fall off and you'll go blind and dogs will bark when you walk past and you'll be able to see through otters but they won't like it and pigeons will eat your thoughts and you'll never fully understand the allure of tennis and every time you tell a joke people will laugh but they'll secretly be thinking "that's not funny".

(imnotplayinganymore Like a rock. Like a planet., Tue 9 Jan 2007, 1:13, archived)

At least they'll laugh at my jokes then,

they don't at the moment.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 9 Jan 2007, 1:14, archived)

babies will cry

kittens will bleed from their left paw and the clouds will turn upside down and inject their rain into the sky the cliffs of dover will look burberry if you squint at them (which you will) and old ladies will feel slightly uncomfortable if they're left alone with you the sound of a french (or belgian) accent will make you feel strangely melancholy and coco the coco pops monkey will start to look attractive.

(imnotplayinganymore Like a rock. Like a planet., Tue 9 Jan 2007, 1:17, archived)

I'll still start with a down though.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 9 Jan 2007, 1:18, archived)

forty years of darkness, earthquakes volcanoes

dogs and cats living together
MASS HYSTERIA

(

urbane legend i have known the inexorable sadness of pencils, Tue 9 Jan 2007, 1:20, archived)

ARGH! Mass hysteria!

KILOGRAMS! KILOGRAMS! KILOGRAMS! OUNCES? STONES! POUNDS! KILOGRAMS! METRIC TON!

(imnotplayinganymore Like a rock. Like a planet., Tue 9 Jan 2007, 1:21, archived)

DENSITY HYSTERIA!

VERY DENSE! REALLY NOT VERY DENSE! KINDA IN THE MIDDLE, YOU KNOW, SORT OF SPONGY! DIFFERENT KINDS OF DENSITY.

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urbane legend i have known the inexorable sadness of pencils, Tue 9 Jan 2007, 1:23, archived)

ORANGEY! REAL GENUINE ORANGEYNESS!

WELL MORE MANGOEY REALLY! THINKING ABOUT
IT! BUT STILL VERY MUCH ORANGEY!
DEFINITE ORANGEY SUBSTANCE DELIVERED
TO YOUR DOOR, WELL NOT YOUR DOOR,
BUT THE BEHIND THE LARGE POT NEAR YOUR DOOR!
ORANGEY MANGO! MANGO ORANGEY ARTICLE!

(

monkdagola but how do you TURN a phrase?, Tue 9 Jan 2007, 1:30, archived)

You hear that?

That's the sound of a thousand of male b3tards the world over collectively reaching for their cocks to see which way they start with.

I'm an up, by the way

(

Albert the Mildly Deranged purveyors of nothing much since a year or two ago, Tue 9 Jan 2007, 1:11, archived)

seriously, why an up?

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 9 Jan 2007, 1:12, archived)

I'm a down

I'm amazed anyone would start with an up, unless they'd been circumcised

(

Milkman Dan, Tue 9 Jan 2007, 1:14, archived)

I did think circumcision would make people start with an up.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 9 Jan 2007, 1:15, archived)

well I'm off to bed

to sleep, not to test theories, you understand

(

Milkman Dan, Tue 9 Jan 2007, 1:16, archived)

wake up with a start.

(Nash Odyssey is a nasty, nasty man (or possibly woman), Tue 9 Jan 2007, 1:26, archived)

I guess it depends on where you grip

Maybe I'll try down. Who knows, I might like it!

/edit - And I reckon we've now done a pretty good job of scaring off *every single woman* from the board. Gay shift ahoy!

(

Albert the Mildly Deranged purveyors of nothing much since a year or two ago, Tue 9 Jan 2007, 1:19, archived)

can it MELGE?

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urbane legend i have known the inexorable sadness of pencils, Tue 9 Jan 2007, 1:00, archived)

What's Melge?

(

Sheep!, Tue 9 Jan 2007, 1:03, archived)

like you don't know.

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urbane legend i have known the inexorable sadness of pencils, Tue 9 Jan 2007, 1:04, archived)

Oh, MELGE!

I thought you said malge. Ha ha, of course it can melge. They all do that now

(

Sheep!, Tue 9 Jan 2007, 1:05, archived)

Pfft

"What's Melge?"!

(imnotplayinganymore Like a rock. Like a planet., Tue 9 Jan 2007, 1:04, archived)

can it toats braed though?

(

monkdagola but how do you TURN a phrase?, Tue 9 Jan 2007, 1:01, archived)

best comment ever

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Milkman Dan, Tue 9 Jan 2007, 1:02, archived)

But it can kook cittens

(

Sheep!, Tue 9 Jan 2007, 1:02, archived)

nearly as awesome

(

monkdagola but how do you TURN a phrase?, Tue 9 Jan 2007, 1:03, archived)

that's just amazing

as ever

(

Milkman Dan, Tue 9 Jan 2007, 1:01, archived)

Woo......... ACE

_{Liquify ?}

(

paranoiaman, Tue 9 Jan 2007, 1:02, archived)

Liquify

I like that one, has potential. Thanks

(

Sheep!, Tue 9 Jan 2007, 1:03, archived)

and freeze, as the corollary.

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postbear has metal knees, Tue 9 Jan 2007, 1:04, archived)

can it dodge?

burn?
mesh distort?
lighten/darken?
hue/saturation/lightness?

(

urbane legend i have known the inexorable sadness of pencils, Tue 9 Jan 2007, 1:04, archived)

Ooo, yes!

I could do a blend mode changer. Or a blurring mode too. Great!

(

Sheep!, Tue 9 Jan 2007, 1:04, archived)

make it buttonize!

and drop shadow!
and perpsectiveize!
and LENS FLARE!

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urbane legend i have known the inexorable sadness of pencils, Tue 9 Jan 2007, 1:06, archived)

Arf!

I was this close *indicates a small amount with fingers* to using lens flare

(

Sheep!, Tue 9 Jan 2007, 1:07, archived)

*gasp*

mind you, lens flare has its uses

(

urbane legend i have known the inexorable sadness of pencils, Tue 9 Jan 2007, 1:10, archived)

Ooo

very nice

(

Sheep!, Tue 9 Jan 2007, 1:13, archived)

thankee.

(

urbane legend i have known the inexorable sadness of pencils, Tue 9 Jan 2007, 1:20, archived)

can it grape your squildo?

please?

(

Iananan Formerly known as el-rodente, not that you care, Tue 9 Jan 2007, 1:04, archived)

Mmmm

I'll see what I can do

(

Sheep!, Tue 9 Jan 2007, 1:06, archived)

RIIIIIGHT!

(

urbane legend i have known the inexorable sadness of pencils, Tue 9 Jan 2007, 1:07, archived)

^ loves this

(

nocturne72, Tue 9 Jan 2007, 2:23, archived)

I want it to amalgamate.

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monkdagola but how do you TURN a phrase?, Tue 9 Jan 2007, 1:04, archived)

heh.

does it have the moth/caterpillar buttons?

(

postbear has metal knees, Tue 9 Jan 2007, 1:05, archived)

They were a rather expensive optional extra

I'm saving up

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Sheep!, Tue 9 Jan 2007, 1:12, archived)

*donates several moths*

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postbear has metal knees, Tue 9 Jan 2007, 1:13, archived)

nice

male-female?

(

Cashy, Tue 9 Jan 2007, 1:05, archived)

happy b3taday

(you shit)

(

Iananan Formerly known as el-rodente, not that you care, Tue 9 Jan 2007, 1:06, archived)

Huzzah!

I feel all old

(

Cashy, Tue 9 Jan 2007, 1:10, archived)

Will you be a white shit soon then?

Happy b3taday!

(

Kamikaze Stoat £4.09, Tue 9 Jan 2007, 1:13, archived)

b3taday!

*sings the b3taday song*

(

urbane legend i have known the inexorable sadness of pencils, Tue 9 Jan 2007, 1:21, archived)

Woo!

(

Kamikaze Stoat £4.09, Tue 9 Jan 2007, 1:06, archived)

I want a

laser, mostly because the "open cut healing power" intrigues me

(

Yeknom. Incontinence and Premature ejaculation? Easy come, easy go., Tue 9 Jan 2007, 1:06, archived)

that is a DANGEROUS THING.

AVOID.
it's probably illegal too.

(

urbane legend i have known the inexorable sadness of pencils, Tue 9 Jan 2007, 1:08, archived)

Probably Quarterises the Wound

For extra grrr scars

(

Sheep!, Tue 9 Jan 2007, 1:09, archived)

I love you, Sheep.

Rabbit function! RABBIT FUNCTION!

(Nash Odyssey is a nasty, nasty man (or possibly woman), Tue 9 Jan 2007, 1:06, archived)

Ah yes

A nice rabbit function, lovely

(

Sheep!, Tue 9 Jan 2007, 1:08, archived)

And kimodo dragon function

as the opposite.

(Can you think of anything less fluffy than an oversized lizard with a mouth full of rotting meat and deadly bacteria? I can't.)

(

Albert the Mildly Deranged purveyors of nothing much since a year or two ago, Tue 9 Jan 2007, 1:16, archived)

a human baby.

they're much worse.

(

postbear has metal knees, Tue 9 Jan 2007, 1:17, archived)

Janet Street Porter?

(

monkdagola but how do you TURN a phrase?, Tue 9 Jan 2007, 1:18, archived)

Anti-rabbit,

not Anti-Christ!

(Nash Odyssey is a nasty, nasty man (or possibly woman), Tue 9 Jan 2007, 1:23, archived)

Hm...

What's the opposite of rabbit, though?

aw, dang

(

Willmot laid a scotch egg, Tue 9 Jan 2007, 1:18, archived)

anti-rabbit

of course

(

connor, Tue 9 Jan 2007, 1:21, archived)

Would that be a tibbar?

Sounds ferocious.

(

Willmot laid a scotch egg, Tue 9 Jan 2007, 1:23, archived)

woo

i liked your red button thing too

(

connor, Tue 9 Jan 2007, 1:17, archived)