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# This duck was following me.
So I took its soul and am offering it to b3ta.
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 22:23, archived)
# ssg, ssg, we need you
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 22:24, archived)
# *FLAP*
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 22:25, archived)
# DUCK!!!! I CHALLENGE YOU!!!
Pikachu, THUNDERSHOCK!!!
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 22:24, archived)
# *points out current school council rules*
*gets teacher to confiscate pokemon cards*
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 22:27, archived)
# DUCK played 'BURAEUCRACY'
Trainer Wobbly Hat is caught in Red Tape!!!

(miss 3 Gos, do not collect £200)
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 22:30, archived)
# only if its got plum sauce and pancakes with it
oh and a nice bottle of kirin
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 22:25, archived)
# or banana
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 22:47, archived)
# THIS DUCK WONT EVOLVE.
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 22:25, archived)
# **hands water stone**
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 22:27, archived)
# Got Rare Candy?
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 22:29, archived)
# THAT WILL NOT HELP YOU EVOLVE.
THAT WILL MERELY ENHANCE YOUR LEVEL.
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 22:30, archived)
# Also: lower Exp from Rare Candy instead of levelling up normally. BUT I AIN'T GOT TIME FOR THAT SHIT. MISTY IS NAKED WITH HER STARMIE AGAIN.
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 22:31, archived)
# i think your copy was different to mine :(
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 22:33, archived)
# yurp, **rummages**
**tosses rare candy**
I also have some poké balls, a repel and some lemonade
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 22:30, archived)
# Repels were always pretty lame. I always used them through that Digglet tunnel and it always did shit all. My Charmander used to get raped.
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 22:33, archived)
# i used diglet tunnel to catch a diglett then raise it up to be all manly
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 22:34, archived)
# DUGTRIO!
Blegh, Onix was funnest. He was my rock/earth Pokemon of choice.
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 22:34, archived)
# anything with Dig does the job for my Poké belt, i liked nidoran males best
the pink phallic horn was brilliant
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 22:36, archived)
# Dig was a handy move but it was shit as an attack.
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 22:42, archived)
# *hands orange sauce*
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 22:28, archived)
# Phwoar, ello sir.
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 22:30, archived)
# Hello again, you!
Phwoar yourself :)

Ed: you missed my naked 7000th post.
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 22:30, archived)
# LEEENK
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 22:34, archived)
# I don't think you deserve one.
*lazes*
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 22:35, archived)
# *sniff*
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 22:36, archived)
# You could see his cock and everything.
It was massive.
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 22:37, archived)
# Yeah, see, I checked.
Actual cock please thank you.
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 22:38, archived)
# You're never happy :(
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 22:43, archived)
# I TRIED SO HARD.
I just want to love you.

Waaaa waaaa waaaa.
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 22:43, archived)
# Ooooh Timberlake.
Now you're talking.
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 22:44, archived)
# WHAT.
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 22:49, archived)
# ECLECTIC.
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 22:51, archived)
# LAME.
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 22:53, archived)
# Anagram of male.
*nods sagely*
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 22:55, archived)
# You just like everything and everyone, musically and erotically.
FACE IT!
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 22:56, archived)
# I am quite easy to please, yes.
Generally a happy little bobbin, me.
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 22:59, archived)
# You're like the anti-me.
Female, easily pleased, freely indulges her senses experiences and curiosity.

Whereas I've got all the looks.
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 23:01, archived)
# Look as good as you want
I'm more sexy than pretty.

and also, if (stressing the word if) we had children we might make a normal human being.

(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 23:03, archived)
# Dammit, I knew I should have said sexy. That's that joke ruined then.
You're basing that on the fact that logically if we are the apotheosis of opposites, that they will sort of cancel eachother out into normalcy? Or just because half mental people can sort of make someone tenuously sane?

Also if I had children I'd probably raise them to be sort of like me to a sane level but without the awful crushing despair and generally be a really not at all believing in moulding the children parent. But i'll never have children so that's rather academic.
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 23:13, archived)
# No systematic destroying of their own sense of self?
I'm impressed.
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 23:15, archived)
# I only do that to people I despise and want to destroy...or just when I am bored.
But yes, no children ever. Unless you class genetic experiments as children; in which case possibly, when I have the equipment.
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 23:18, archived)
# I'll do genetic experiments with you.
As long as I get to have a big hook to brandish at people and a cellar.
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 23:19, archived)
# No.
You can have stick to your own sexy and boring life, I'll do the genetic experiments and edge of reason tredding.
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 23:24, archived)
# You're just a tease.
That's what you are. A no-good tease.
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 23:25, archived)
# Well I've got to vindicate my supressed annoyance and rage at the sexually elated somehow.
That and being generally comically nonchalent and insulting.
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 23:30, archived)
# Don't you get tired?
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 23:33, archived)
# Never.
I'm fueled by ire and 80s electrofunk, of which there is an ample supply.
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 23:37, archived)
# Bloody hell.
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 23:38, archived)
# Although I sleep a lot, because I can never seem to be bothered to get out of bed (despite not being actually tired)
It's the only time I really wish I had a lovely woman, or a sexy young boy would do, to rouse me and possibly intice me with breakfast.
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 23:40, archived)
# Robot?
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 23:41, archived)
# I think I need warm and slinky.
Waking me up in the morning and giving me back rubs, I could quite happily go for those things but I can't really get them without either relationships or some kind of BDSM slave. Neither of which I particular desire.
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 23:47, archived)
# Prostitutes.
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 23:49, archived)
# Also I am too humanistic an individual to warrant fucking over someone else's life just so I can get a backrub.
I'd clearly just try to somehow reverse the course of the prostitutes' lives.

And now we have fallen off the board long enough methinks. Although I still want a sexy young boy, especially a naive cute one.
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 23:53, archived)
# *waves*
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 22:33, archived)
# Hello pusskins!
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 22:34, archived)
# I feel poorly
Cold, sleepy and I ate too much pizza and icecream.
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 22:36, archived)
# Oh you poor precious *gives cuddle*
I ate turkey and salad and an ittle bit of houmous.

You might remember this- do you remember you used to be able to get dolls in the 80s that smelled of strawberries?
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 22:37, archived)
# Vaguely remember that yes
Were they called Strawberry Shortcake?
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 22:40, archived)
# I think so.
Do you remember the smell of them? It was HEAVENLY.

My new perfume (and hair conditioner) smell exactly like them.

Seriously, I might have to start licking my arm or something.
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 22:41, archived)
# As I recall most things smelled of something or other in the 80's.
The 80's was the decade of smelly erasers, scratch and sniff stickers and all manner of fruity/chocolately combinations in plastic & rubber.

I love that fake strawberry smell :)
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 22:43, archived)
# And asbestos.
The best smell of them all.
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 22:45, archived)
# WHEN YOU'VE QUITE FINISHED.
you need to go to the City of the 10th Ramadan. They make shitloads of the stuff.
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 22:47, archived)
# So do I, I'm going to STINK of it at the meet.
I'm going to make people feel hungy but a little bit sick. Story of my bloody life.
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 22:47, archived)
# Wouldn't it be easier just to eat strawberries.
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 22:43, archived)
# I've done too much of that recently.
Digestive...issues.
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 22:45, archived)
# Mmmm that makes me think of digestive biscuits.
I also have a shit (chortle) digestive system. I did for a short time manage to have a shit more regularly than one every week, or sometimes two weeks, but it seems I am back to that now.

I swear I need to replace it with a furnace as soon as possible, it's just annoying and rubbish. Plus it creates the most sharp and short indescribable pelvic pain imaginable.
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 22:48, archived)
# Oh I've just got IBS.
And I've eaten a LOT of fruit recently. Ow.

You could try going totally macrobiotic.
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 22:50, archived)
# Or as I call them 'hype-yoghurts'.
What's painful about fruit? I can't say I actually know what IBS constitutes, other than your bowels are irritable.

I seem to get the most immeasurable pain in my pelvis occasionally though, it's just one of those twinges. But it's sort of like having a thousands of tiny redhot meathooks stabbed into you and shook about.
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 22:54, archived)
# You could have it, I get them.
I don't know if there's any other types, but basically my intestines instead of working rhythmically to move stuff along, they do some mental jazz stuff and get all confused.
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 23:01, archived)
# Hmmm, doesn't sound like me.
Mine just don't really shift anything and end up compressing a week or moresworth of food down into practically dark matter. Which admittadly does eventually become quite uncomfortable although it's more on the whole lower colon and pelvis region than the actual digestive tract.
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 23:06, archived)
# Doctor with you. Get to the.
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 23:13, archived)
# I am a man. I am also insane.
I think you can see the inevitable conclusion.
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 23:16, archived)
# No harm in telling you, it's what women do.
Go to the doctor, please for fuck sake stop snoring, you never listen, why don't we ask that man over there on the bench etc etc etc.
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 23:18, archived)
# I don't snore.
And all the females i've known, despite being the type who always complain about males closed emotional nature, are fucking shit when you actually try to talk to them - as are all people. It's just a fall back so they can complain about something.

I have no idea what the bench comment was about. Dogging in parks?
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 23:21, archived)
# Hopefully.
I'm excellent to talk to. I pay attention for at least five minutes before zoning out and thinking about ice cream.
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 23:24, archived)
# I can go on forever. I have found few people able to withstand it.

And I talk quite a lot too!
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 23:28, archived)
# *smacks head*
If I can smoke and have coffee you're fine. My best mate has not shut up since I met her, bless her wonderful little heart.
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 23:29, archived)
# Well I tend to only talk about very grave and serious matters these days. Shame, as I used to be quite fun.
Although thankfully I've not given up being weirdly comical about the whole depressing void of existance, it confuses the happy and the depressed alike.
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 23:34, archived)
# Most things confuse me
to a greater or lesser degree.
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 23:40, archived)
# quick, tell getty images
i bet they haven't got any duck pictures.

needs more mary poppins umbrella.
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 22:26, archived)
# They were sold recently:
"In February 2008 it was announced that Getty Images is to be acquired by Hellman & Friedman in a transaction valued at an estimated $2.4 Billion."

(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 22:30, archived)
# i do hope audrey didn't get laid off as a result of the sale.
although if she did we can start nicking their images again.
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 22:32, archived)
# My mouth scrapped along the floor at $2.4 Billion
photographs? Ok they are rather big these days I guess
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 22:35, archived)
# hahaha
"I'm telling Audrey!"
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 22:38, archived)
# Pfffttttt...
i had two ducks land in the road outside Thor Towers on Sunday, Mrs thor shepherded them into the garden and away from the traffic, we spent eh next 15 minutes feeding them lully bread before they thanked us and flew off.

mrs duck came back yesterday for a wee while of her own accord.

she must have liked the bread.
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 22:26, archived)
# Mister Thor!
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 22:28, archived)
# how do catpain!
i'm off work this week, and for the latter half of last week as well.

i'm doing some sneaky work at an agency for free, i must be mental, giving up holiday ro go and work somewhere for free, still, it'll all go in the folio at the end of the day.

hows you, i havn't missed any topless shots have i?
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 22:30, archived)
# I could get my tits out if you want?
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 22:32, archived)
# Hang on,
let me get a tissue first.
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 22:33, archived)
# you have to turn every thread to you you you don't you
tsk
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 22:34, archived)
# pffffftttttt
like i've not got a hard drive full of semi-naked pictures of you already.
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 22:35, archived)
# Yeh, but only the bottom half!
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 22:36, archived)
# isn't that the best bit?
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 22:37, archived)
# ...the only bit

the top half holidays in Thailand 6 months of the year
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 22:39, archived)
# Not that have been put on the internets, no.
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 22:34, archived)
# bah!
one day you'll slip up and i'll be there waiting.
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 22:37, archived)
# I didn't say there wasn't any on the internets already.
I have evil exes.
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 22:39, archived)
# *google searches*
bah! damn you google.
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 22:48, archived)
# Muahaha you'll never find me
*twiddles imaginary moustache*
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 22:51, archived)
# in my minds eye that is an underpant moustache
*curses google again*
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 22:53, archived)
# Hahaha
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 23:05, archived)
# pictures!! or it didn't happen.
or perhaps on the other hand....
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 22:29, archived)
# God and Duck Whisperer

Oh how I envy your life
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 22:29, archived)
# he lives in a biffa bin behind the local co-op drinking meths
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 22:30, archived)
#
...landed gentry with his own bar *sighs*
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 22:32, archived)
# yer fuggin' bastard!
your my bescht mate, lend us a tenner until giro day, yer bastard!

*throws dead cat at you*
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 22:34, archived)
# fuggggin ggilo day yayy bas bass cuunnt
yous sttil, ack gowan, get theee ciderr in, fukk
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 22:36, archived)
# it's not all work, work, work
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 22:33, archived)
# :)
Ducks are apparently 'very busy' animals, or that's how they come across

Woo for giving you their time
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 22:33, archived)
# smirky. smirkyduck
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 22:34, archived)
# dcuk or wolf? DUCK OR WOLF
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 22:36, archived)
# I'm gonna say...dcuk.

(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 22:42, archived)