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# NEXT!
doc monkey is back, answering all of life's questions. so, come on, ask me a question!
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 11 Jun 2008, 14:01, archived)
# Does the Japanese album by Gillan count as prog rock?
(_Felix 's school of dance and occult sciences, Wed 11 Jun 2008, 14:03, archived)
# no
but it makes a handy ashtray
next!
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 11 Jun 2008, 14:05, archived)
# Hot weather holiday...
...are flip flops / sandals appropriate footwear for the stylish gentleman about town?

If not, how can I keep my unsightly tootsies cool?
(Sartori is moving to Canada, eh?, Wed 11 Jun 2008, 14:03, archived)
# flip flop mind piss!!!!



(I helped save b3ta! Mstandot I suppose I should post more often., Wed 11 Jun 2008, 14:05, archived)
# Egads!
:O
(Sartori is moving to Canada, eh?, Wed 11 Jun 2008, 14:06, archived)
# german tourist sandals are where it's at
or you could lie on the floor and stick your feet in the fridge.
next!
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 11 Jun 2008, 14:06, archived)
# It is impossible to both appear cool and actually be cool.
You can either show off your hairy knees and toes, or try to enjoy the sensation of sweating.
(_Felix 's school of dance and occult sciences, Wed 11 Jun 2008, 14:08, archived)
# I have some new flip flops /.sandals,thay are made from leather.
They are rubbing on my feet ,should I soak them in water to soften the leather?Or will that fuck them up?
(I helped save b3ta! Mstandot I suppose I should post more often., Wed 11 Jun 2008, 14:04, archived)
# Wow!
flip flop mind piss!
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Wed 11 Jun 2008, 14:05, archived)
# piss on them
it works everytime - must be the urea

mind you, you will smell like a tramp, but hey ho
(I helped save b3ta! The Tig and me, Wed 11 Jun 2008, 14:05, archived)
# old army trick
piss on them. they may stink, but it'll soften them up a treat.
or just buy plasters.
next!
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 11 Jun 2008, 14:07, archived)
# flip flop piss mind piss!
*brain assplodes*
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Wed 11 Jun 2008, 14:09, archived)
# pissing on flip flop mindpiss!!


(I helped save b3ta! Mstandot I suppose I should post more often., Wed 11 Jun 2008, 14:09, archived)
# pissing on flip flop mindpiss mindp...
oh never mind.
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Wed 11 Jun 2008, 14:12, archived)
# You got further than I did!!


/aborted post blog
(I helped save b3ta! Mstandot I suppose I should post more often., Wed 11 Jun 2008, 14:13, archived)
# Can I return a pair of trousers to a shop without proof of purchase?
(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Wed 11 Jun 2008, 14:05, archived)
# if you have the bag they came in you usually can.
if they're unusual pants, the shop may recognise them and exchange them without proof of purchase.
next!
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 11 Jun 2008, 14:08, archived)
# Did Cleopatra have the body of a roll-top desk and the mind of a duck?
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 11 Jun 2008, 14:05, archived)
# Fantastic
I am now singing "fart in the duck".
(I helped save b3ta! M3rx likes the Asian ladies, Wed 11 Jun 2008, 14:07, archived)
# And sit and fart in my love!
(I helped save b3ta! Ttssattsr, Wed 11 Jun 2008, 14:08, archived)
# no
her body was a small principality off the cornish coast and her mind ran on hamster-generated wheel power.
next!
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 11 Jun 2008, 14:09, archived)
# All is revealed - thanks Doc Monkey!
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 11 Jun 2008, 14:10, archived)
# my bill is in the post
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 11 Jun 2008, 14:16, archived)
# Python?
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Wed 11 Jun 2008, 14:11, archived)
# Rowan Atkinson (Secret Policeman's Ball, I think)
Schoolmaster's Sketch
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 11 Jun 2008, 14:14, archived)
# *slaps forehead*
I did that for my A LEvel drama monologue as well
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Wed 11 Jun 2008, 14:26, archived)
# i have a friend who is a chimp
he has a problem with his head, it may be related to his parents. what can i do for him?
(I helped save b3ta! Dances with Rabbits Back to Education i go, Wed 11 Jun 2008, 14:05, archived)
# buy him a hat
or tell him to divorce his parents and go it alone in his own freak show.
next!
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 11 Jun 2008, 14:10, archived)
# Will anyone lick my piss hole this week?

(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Wed 11 Jun 2008, 14:05, archived)
# there ya go....
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 11 Jun 2008, 14:08, archived)
# Now I would have deserved that
had I went onto explain that I didn't mean my urethral opening, but was referring to the cavity I had excavated in the foetid corpse of a baglady who I visciously murdered with a trowel last month. I'm using this orifice to fill her body with urine, hence "piss hole".
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Wed 11 Jun 2008, 14:11, archived)
# Well, let's just say that it was a 'predictive award' then....
:D
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 11 Jun 2008, 14:17, archived)
# So is that a yes or a no?
:P
(I helped save b3ta! Mstandot I suppose I should post more often., Wed 11 Jun 2008, 14:11, archived)
# If I'm a very good boy...

(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Wed 11 Jun 2008, 14:13, archived)
# if you're a very good boy
next!
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 11 Jun 2008, 14:10, archived)
# *stands up straight*

(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Wed 11 Jun 2008, 14:13, archived)
# PEARS: SECRET TIMEBOMBS?
(I helped save b3ta! Ttssattsr, Wed 11 Jun 2008, 14:06, archived)
# Ha!
You loon!
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 11 Jun 2008, 14:07, archived)
# no
you're thinking of quinces.
next!
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 11 Jun 2008, 14:11, archived)
# Why is Cheryl Tweedy on X-Factor
and who actually cares?
(I helped save b3ta! M3rx likes the Asian ladies, Wed 11 Jun 2008, 14:07, archived)
# whos this cheryl tweedy?
(I helped save b3ta! Dances with Rabbits Back to Education i go, Wed 11 Jun 2008, 14:08, archived)
# Her what beat up that black woman in the toilets then married that black guy what is a footballer or summat.
(I helped save b3ta! M3rx likes the Asian ladies, Wed 11 Jun 2008, 14:11, archived)
# this is great
esp the description :)
(I helped save b3ta! PointlessCamel Last one on drugs is a queer., Wed 11 Jun 2008, 14:15, archived)
# nice
(I helped save b3ta! Foxglove -- it all ends in tears anyway..., Wed 11 Jun 2008, 14:25, archived)
# Why don't the public get to vote?
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Wed 11 Jun 2008, 14:09, archived)
# because x-factor is vapid shite
perfect breeding ground for munters.
next!
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 11 Jun 2008, 14:12, archived)
# I really need to poop
but i don't want to leave b3ta for 35 minuts.
what should i do?
(I helped save b3ta! My Ass Is On Fire due to constant gas leak, Wed 11 Jun 2008, 14:07, archived)
# Take it with you
duh
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Wed 11 Jun 2008, 14:10, archived)
# V this
(I helped save b3ta! My Ass Is On Fire due to constant gas leak, Wed 11 Jun 2008, 14:14, archived)
# cut a hole in your chair
bingo! instant commode!
next!
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 11 Jun 2008, 14:13, archived)
# Do my flip-flops look big in this?

(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Wed 11 Jun 2008, 14:07, archived)
# yes.
very big.
next!
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 11 Jun 2008, 14:13, archived)
# Daddy or chips?
(Fuiru Sting, where is thy death?, Wed 11 Jun 2008, 14:08, archived)
# chips
daddy is a non-edible cunt.
next!
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 11 Jun 2008, 14:14, archived)
# what should I do with my life?
(I helped save b3ta! Cocodaye Miasere likes chips and peas, Wed 11 Jun 2008, 14:10, archived)
# become an eel massage therapist
next!
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 11 Jun 2008, 14:14, archived)
# Tractor! Turnips! Buttocks!
(I helped save b3ta! HairyTwatter certified eel and sodium salesman, Wed 11 Jun 2008, 14:10, archived)
# you have a minor form of tourette's syndrome
based on rural swearing. take 2 parsnips and call me in the morning.
next!
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 11 Jun 2008, 14:16, archived)
# is this the real reason
why you posted 12k msgs on the board till now?
(I helped save b3ta! My Ass Is On Fire due to constant gas leak, Wed 11 Jun 2008, 14:17, archived)
# no
the real reason is too terrible for your puny human minds to comprehend!
i've said too much....
next!
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 11 Jun 2008, 14:20, archived)
# A train leaves liverpool at 9:17am
and travels due south at exactly 36.21 m.p.h.

How many flip-flops does it take to change?
(Professor Yaffle now with added sodium, Wed 11 Jun 2008, 14:18, archived)
# 27.5
but there are slingbacks on the line, expect delays.
next!
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 11 Jun 2008, 14:23, archived)
# that's me off again
(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Wed 11 Jun 2008, 14:19, archived)
# don't worry, you'll soon be back on again.
*plugs in electrodes*
next!
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 11 Jun 2008, 14:25, archived)
# Why do birds suddenly appear?
(I helped save b3ta! Fishcat Difficult difficult lemon difficult., Wed 11 Jun 2008, 14:48, archived)
# they are fired from a cannon
to disguise the fact that natural flight is an illusion.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 11 Jun 2008, 14:51, archived)