b3ta.com board
You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Home » Messageboard » XXX » Message 9259607 (Thread)

# A pail-pole-fail
(I helped save b3ta! The magic of chutney Shakes it like an Instagram filter!, Wed 11 Mar 2009, 12:05, archived)
# is he stealing his job and sleeping six to a room?
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Wed 11 Mar 2009, 12:05, archived)
# 0_0
How will I get my bathroom re-tiled otherwise?

;-)
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 11 Mar 2009, 12:06, archived)
# heh
I could do with a good tiler, it'll be the last piece in the 2-year slog of doing my flat up
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Wed 11 Mar 2009, 12:07, archived)
# If I wasn't always drawn away to end tinkering with the bloody computer,
I'd do it myself, but - in the real world, I'm gonna have to get someone in...

;-)
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 11 Mar 2009, 12:08, archived)
# Then you find out the price to "get someone in"
and thing - the mess is better.

I got a garden that needs digging - anyone?
(waxdart hello., Wed 11 Mar 2009, 12:11, archived)
# I'm on the 3rd floor.
:( No garden.

Lots of big plants, though :)
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 11 Mar 2009, 12:15, archived)
# I built myself a shed a few weeks ago
I am 100% MAN!
(waxdart hello., Wed 11 Mar 2009, 12:17, archived)
# And that, by any measure, sir
makes you a 100% MAN!

:D
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 11 Mar 2009, 12:18, archived)
# This.
I'm so unmanly sometimes - DIY and football - I'm rubbish at both.

I'm good at breaking things, mind - one of the best jobs I've had was to smash up my BiL's old shed with a sledgehammer. Ace fun.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 11 Mar 2009, 12:11, archived)
# my boss once got me to kick down an office door
when he'd locked his keys in the server room.

Best day at work ever.
(I helped save b3ta! Mockingbird Practitioner of SCIENCE, Wed 11 Mar 2009, 12:14, archived)
# I bet you felt like a MAN.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 11 Mar 2009, 12:15, archived)
# destruction AND computers
it's man heaven
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Wed 11 Mar 2009, 12:17, archived)
# Conveniently not mentioning women at all.
*feels rejected*
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 11 Mar 2009, 12:17, archived)
# sorry
destruction AND computers

while the women looked on in a state of impressed awe

that better?
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Wed 11 Mar 2009, 12:21, archived)
# much, thank you.
*can go on living*
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 11 Mar 2009, 12:22, archived)
# destruction AND computers
white cotton pantie porn

fixed it
(waxdart hello., Wed 11 Mar 2009, 12:23, archived)
# I fulfilled the ambition of a lifetime a couple of years ago...
Smashing up a grand piano with a lump hammer.

I've never had so much fun.
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 11 Mar 2009, 12:17, archived)
# That sounds amazing
but I don't think I could ever do it. I take it it was broken and couldn't be repaired?
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 11 Mar 2009, 12:18, archived)
# Oh , it was completely fucked. The metal frame was warped.
I'd have never been able to do it otherwise.

We got to set fire to the bits afterwards... hehehehe.
*rubs hands maniacally*
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 11 Mar 2009, 12:20, archived)
# That's ok then.
FIRE.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 11 Mar 2009, 12:22, archived)
# I was such a pyro in my formative years
:D
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 11 Mar 2009, 12:23, archived)
# I have a healthy fear of fire.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 11 Mar 2009, 12:24, archived)
# Well, considering the amount of times I've set myself on fire,
I should, too - sadly, stupidity has allowed me to move bravely past that point.
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 11 Mar 2009, 12:26, archived)
# I've set my hair on fire a good number of times.
Also my socks, but that was on purpose to prove a point.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 11 Mar 2009, 12:27, archived)
# The love of fire is linked to sexual frustration.
Pyromania is essentially being a *points* "Virgin! Virgin!"
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 11 Mar 2009, 12:27, archived)
# Well, I'm referring to when I was at school.
So I don't feel *too* cut up about that.

;-)
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 11 Mar 2009, 12:28, archived)
# You know, Hefner's apparently on his way out
*chokes back the tears* that'd leave an opening for a classy bird such as yourself.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 11 Mar 2009, 12:29, archived)
# I don't think I've ever been referred to as a 'classy bird'
before.

How intriguing.
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 11 Mar 2009, 12:32, archived)
# I'm trying it out.
it was that or 'cad-about-town'.

Plus I'm fed up of being the only person that appears to ever get called it.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 11 Mar 2009, 12:33, archived)
# *is rather affronted*
Cad - moi?
*swirls cape and tweaks moustache*
How dare you, ma'am?

*pinches Wow's bottom for good measure*

;-)
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 11 Mar 2009, 12:35, archived)
# :D
in the best possible way.

also: you're one of four men that can get away with doing that.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 11 Mar 2009, 12:38, archived)
# *hugs*
You're too lovely.
And you exude class, if I may say.

Well, even if I'm not supposed to say - I just did!
\o/
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 11 Mar 2009, 12:41, archived)
# Ahhhhh, you dear
you're the only one who thinks so! *hug*
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 11 Mar 2009, 12:42, archived)
# I'm so sorry - that seemed like a slight!
I too - I think most boys/children are - was a complete pyro as a kid.

I was just mentioning it as I think it's inneresin.

So sorry!
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 11 Mar 2009, 12:32, archived)
# No need, sir
no need at all.
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 11 Mar 2009, 12:39, archived)
# I'd love to smash up a load of different types of hammers* with a piano.
* 16 oz claw = the king of hammers.
(I helped save b3ta! An Eagle in Your Mind, Wed 11 Mar 2009, 12:22, archived)
# Not as good as the dildammer.
My hammer has a very cock-like handle.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 11 Mar 2009, 12:24, archived)
# 0_0
Cap'n!
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 11 Mar 2009, 12:25, archived)
# What?! I didn't buy it purely because of that.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 11 Mar 2009, 12:27, archived)
# Ahh, that's OK, then.
:D
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 11 Mar 2009, 12:29, archived)
# It's usually fun to tell people
when they're actually holding the hammer.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 11 Mar 2009, 12:31, archived)
#
www.b3ta.com/board/9259687
(I helped save b3ta! Bela Lugosi's Dad, Wed 11 Mar 2009, 12:31, archived)
# Here I am! :)
Absolutely fucking exquisite Sir. I am utterly grateful to you.
Gaz me an address and I'll send you something nice (not sure what though)
(I helped save b3ta! Bela Lugosi's Dad, Wed 11 Mar 2009, 12:27, archived)
# This thread compels you to send a CUNTHAMMER.
(I helped save b3ta! An Eagle in Your Mind, Wed 11 Mar 2009, 12:29, archived)
# I just broke my last one :(
(I helped save b3ta! Bela Lugosi's Dad, Wed 11 Mar 2009, 12:30, archived)
# Oh, please don't...
:(
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 11 Mar 2009, 12:32, archived)
# Aww, bless you, sir!
Is that one high enough quality or do you want the PSD, or indeed a larger dimension version.
I'm running out a 1280 x 600 px version for Tom O' Bedlam, and I can gaz you a link to it when it's done, if you like.
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 11 Mar 2009, 12:31, archived)
# That's great :D
I'd love a desktop one too, but this one is great for the album xx
(I helped save b3ta! Bela Lugosi's Dad, Wed 11 Mar 2009, 12:33, archived)
# Glad to be of help, sir
And don't worry - just buy me a beer at some point.
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 11 Mar 2009, 12:33, archived)
# Will do :)
(I helped save b3ta! Bela Lugosi's Dad, Wed 11 Mar 2009, 12:34, archived)
# Wow
My cock handle is very much like-hammer.
(waxdart hello., Wed 11 Mar 2009, 12:26, archived)
# Make that the queen, then.
Queens are better than Kings anyway.

Queens of the Stone Age vs Jonathan King. See, the system works.
(I helped save b3ta! An Eagle in Your Mind, Wed 11 Mar 2009, 12:26, archived)
# Queen vs King Crimson, though.
No contest.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 11 Mar 2009, 12:31, archived)
# 50 Foot Queenie vs anything by Kings of Leon.
This could run and run.

Chess has the final answer, though.

Er, the game, not the musical.
(I helped save b3ta! An Eagle in Your Mind, Wed 11 Mar 2009, 12:36, archived)
# Oh I don't know
I really like a Kings of Leon song.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 11 Mar 2009, 12:38, archived)
# I bet it can only move one square at a time unless swapping with a rook.
/the boy that knew far too much about chess
(I helped save b3ta! An Eagle in Your Mind, Wed 11 Mar 2009, 12:41, archived)
# *upends chess set*
*starts setting up connect 4*
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 11 Mar 2009, 12:42, archived)
# (some kind of joke about porn)
(Jeru War and Piss, Wed 11 Mar 2009, 12:43, archived)
# Where do you live?
I'll come and do it for you if you're in London.

I tiled one of the bathrooms in BBC HQ once ya know!
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 11 Mar 2009, 12:12, archived)
# totally
I live in sunny Mars-filled Slough
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Wed 11 Mar 2009, 12:14, archived)
# *ahem*
If you're serious - please gaz me.
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 11 Mar 2009, 12:14, archived)
# ME FIRST ME FIRST
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Wed 11 Mar 2009, 12:15, archived)
# *bundles Nibus out of the way*
*hands over brown envelope full of cash*

Now, you were saying?
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 11 Mar 2009, 12:18, archived)
# Dear Ida,
A Pole.

*clicks*
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 11 Mar 2009, 12:05, archived)
# Dear Liza, dear Liza
lovely!
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 11 Mar 2009, 12:05, archived)
# Yes, it was Liza, wasn't it?
*bangs head on desk*
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 11 Mar 2009, 12:06, archived)
# I was wondering when I saw yours, I questioned myself.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 11 Mar 2009, 12:07, archived)
# My nephew has a tape where it is something other than
Liza, I presume it's to allow them to copywrite it.
(I helped save b3ta! Holly Would long wheel based tranny, Wed 11 Mar 2009, 12:12, archived)
# Quick!
Someone tell the internet lolrus!
(I helped save b3ta! Jessie © needs pirate name suggestions, Wed 11 Mar 2009, 12:06, archived)
# g00 g00 g4ch3w.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 11 Mar 2009, 12:07, archived)
# he seems perturbed by ther pole
in other news: what up, the board, how's life?
(I helped save b3ta! Mockingbird Practitioner of SCIENCE, Wed 11 Mar 2009, 12:09, archived)
# Poles in buckets?
Perverted euphemism!

Ban this sick filth!
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Wed 11 Mar 2009, 12:10, archived)
# MY SPOON IS TOO BIG!
(I helped save b3ta! Floppy Donkey crawled out of the ditch., Wed 11 Mar 2009, 12:11, archived)
# Fucking poles!
Coming over here, filling our buckets!

buckets Work placements
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 11 Mar 2009, 12:12, archived)
# You think you've got problems....

(I helped save b3ta! Fresh Water Mole loves his baby boy more and more every day, Wed 11 Mar 2009, 12:13, archived)
# ha ha ha ha :D
What a sweet little fella
(I helped save b3ta! The magic of chutney Shakes it like an Instagram filter!, Wed 11 Mar 2009, 12:16, archived)
# Aw.... thanks. I think you're sweet too....
(I helped save b3ta! Fresh Water Mole loves his baby boy more and more every day, Wed 11 Mar 2009, 12:17, archived)
# in our buckets stealing our jobs
grr
(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Wed 11 Mar 2009, 12:21, archived)
# i love these
WOO
(I helped save b3ta! Barry the Time Sprout one of your 5-a-day, Wed 11 Mar 2009, 12:36, archived)
# Cheers :D
(I helped save b3ta! The magic of chutney Shakes it like an Instagram filter!, Wed 11 Mar 2009, 12:39, archived)