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# this is attractive, no?
smellotape

face-o-tape. get it.
(BloodthirstyTurtle can no longer smell the blood of any englishmen, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 18:49, archived)
# thats a helluva lot of spunk
(Rattlehead all time with the gay, forever touching, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 18:50, archived)
# Spunk would be better
(I helped save b3ta! Duke Otterby you pre-verts, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 18:51, archived)
# I know
it had even hardened and congealed a bit by then. I find that it is at this stage that it tastes best.
(BloodthirstyTurtle can no longer smell the blood of any englishmen, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 18:51, archived)
# I like yoU!
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 18:51, archived)
# If you wanted someone to spunk on your face, I would have done it
(I helped save b3ta! Duke Otterby you pre-verts, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 18:55, archived)
# well now I know for next time
how does tomorrow suit?
(BloodthirstyTurtle can no longer smell the blood of any englishmen, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 18:57, archived)
# Depends on where i have to travel to
(I helped save b3ta! Duke Otterby you pre-verts, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 18:58, archived)
# we could meet halfway
like a sort of rendez-vous in the jizz-facial side of town.

those are really expensive though, aren't they? Semen facials? must research this, but I know they exist!

and I live in the north. good ol' border of cumbria and lancashire. Cumbrishire.
(BloodthirstyTurtle can no longer smell the blood of any englishmen, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 19:00, archived)
# I live in the south on the Oxfordshire, Berkshire, Buckinghamshire border
(I helped save b3ta! Duke Otterby you pre-verts, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 19:01, archived)
# I went to a wedding on monkey island
It sucked arse, but the ducks were pretty. And the land was nice and flat. These crags and knotts give me the creeps.
(BloodthirstyTurtle can no longer smell the blood of any englishmen, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 19:03, archived)
# Good old Monkey Island :)
I'm sure things could be sorted out through a GAZ
(I helped save b3ta! Duke Otterby you pre-verts, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 19:04, archived)
# most certainly sir
us Northern "Lassies" are wild. And occasionally a bit ruddy.
(BloodthirstyTurtle can no longer smell the blood of any englishmen, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 19:08, archived)
# You're not lassie, if you were then that picture would be that of a pooch with selotape on it's face, which would be hard to do, and probably painful for the pooch to take off.
(I helped save b3ta! epiphany coming live from sweden, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 19:15, archived)
# damn you caught me
okay everyone, I lied, and I'm sorry, and I hope that in time you'll all forgive me and be my friends
(BloodthirstyTurtle can no longer smell the blood of any englishmen, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 19:17, archived)
# What's that?
Little jimmy's stuck down a well?
(I helped save b3ta! epiphany coming live from sweden, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 19:18, archived)
# Nick, a yak, rotates at around 400 degrees Celsius.
His eyes aren't circular and his elbow skin drags on the floor.

He has a superpower. But it's secret.

(I helped save b3ta! Ttssattsr, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 19:21, archived)
# I like yaks
(I helped save b3ta! epiphany coming live from sweden, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 19:22, archived)
# NOW I MUST LEAVE. FUN WILL HAVE TO CEASE.
(I helped save b3ta! Ttssattsr, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 19:24, archived)
# KTHNXBAI
(I helped save b3ta! epiphany coming live from sweden, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 19:24, archived)
# You're ok.
Just beware Earl Otterby, he is really a 74 year old man called Kevin ;)
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 19:18, archived)
# I happen to like 74 year olds
the putrid clicking of their dusty joints makes my knees jelloid.

and I could nibble their flapping jowls all. day. long.
(BloodthirstyTurtle can no longer smell the blood of any englishmen, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 19:19, archived)
# Oh my!
You really are a smut robot aren't you :D
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 19:21, archived)
# Pot kettle mikey, pot kettle :D
(I helped save b3ta! epiphany coming live from sweden, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 19:21, archived)
# smutty as a chimney sweep
what of it, sir? :P
(BloodthirstyTurtle can no longer smell the blood of any englishmen, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 19:22, archived)
# Nothing of it at all.
Just make sure you only use your smut powers for good!
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 19:23, archived)
# I promise to use my reign as smut queen
to better the planet, and the lives of every man, woman and child
(BloodthirstyTurtle can no longer smell the blood of any englishmen, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 19:26, archived)
# Do you hold smut conferences?
(I helped save b3ta! epiphany coming live from sweden, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 19:27, archived)
# of course
all the people that left the world of politics recently now fill the seats in the houses of smarmiement, listening to my smut updates.

too far?
(BloodthirstyTurtle can no longer smell the blood of any englishmen, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 19:29, archived)
# The board is getting a tad stretched... some people get annoyed at that
(I helped save b3ta! epiphany coming live from sweden, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 19:31, archived)
# yes
this is true.

you know what else gets stretched....?
(BloodthirstyTurtle can no longer smell the blood of any englishmen, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 19:34, archived)
# Is it something smutty?
(I helped save b3ta! epiphany coming live from sweden, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 19:35, archived)
# yep
you're catchin' on arentcha ;)
(BloodthirstyTurtle can no longer smell the blood of any englishmen, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 19:38, archived)
# Is it your arsehole?
Or is it pounds at poundstretcher?
(I helped save b3ta! epiphany coming live from sweden, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 19:39, archived)
# Both!
and often in a related manner!
(BloodthirstyTurtle can no longer smell the blood of any englishmen, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 19:44, archived)
# Never too far,
Now, where is this next conference? I would like to come
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 19:34, archived)
# ooo saucy! *said in barbara windsor's voice*
It is being held in near my hometown. in CUMbria.
(BloodthirstyTurtle can no longer smell the blood of any englishmen, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 19:36, archived)
# Hmmmmm!
*imagines*
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 19:38, archived)
# I thought he was called clive!
(I helped save b3ta! epiphany coming live from sweden, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 19:20, archived)
# that's his stripper name
and Kevin is the name he uses for private shows.

I think it is obvious that his real name is Barry.
(BloodthirstyTurtle can no longer smell the blood of any englishmen, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 19:21, archived)
# GO ON BARRY!
(I helped save b3ta! epiphany coming live from sweden, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 19:22, archived)
# CUNT HIM IN THE FUCK BARRY!
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 19:25, archived)
#
*something about cillit bang adverts and the word bang and LOL ROFL*
(BloodthirstyTurtle can no longer smell the blood of any englishmen, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 19:28, archived)
# ROFLMAO!
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 19:45, archived)
# You wish I was :)
(I helped save b3ta! Duke Otterby you pre-verts, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 19:32, archived)
# I wish many things
involving you :P
(BloodthirstyTurtle can no longer smell the blood of any englishmen, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 19:39, archived)
# .
Photobucket
(I helped save b3ta! Crystal Magnet Like a diamond geezer, but better, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 19:48, archived)
# Oh yay!
Is it Lolbirds time?


(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 19:52, archived)
# Yay emogannet!
(I helped save b3ta! Crystal Magnet Like a diamond geezer, but better, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 19:56, archived)
#

(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 20:03, archived)
# that's a pretty bird
(BloodthirstyTurtle can no longer smell the blood of any englishmen, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 19:53, archived)
# Now now
leave the cancer victim alone!
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 18:51, archived)
# It appears to be Sunday
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 18:50, archived)
# Sunday?
NOOOO!! work tomorrow!
(I helped save b3ta! ivesb Highly specialised Clinical Physiologist crapbag, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 18:52, archived)
# LOL!
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 18:51, archived)
# I used to wrap my hand in sellotape
(I helped save b3ta! Duke Otterby you pre-verts, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 18:51, archived)
# it makes you feel like you could puch through a brick wall
(Rattlehead all time with the gay, forever touching, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 18:53, archived)
# haha!
we are siblings in the ways of sellotape.

I had red lines on my face for like an hour afterwards, and I was forced to rip bits of hair out of my head, but WORTH IT :P
(BloodthirstyTurtle can no longer smell the blood of any englishmen, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 18:53, archived)
# It is a stage you go through
(I helped save b3ta! Duke Otterby you pre-verts, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 18:54, archived)
# the red roundy rim stage
it is heard of throughout the land
(BloodthirstyTurtle can no longer smell the blood of any englishmen, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 18:55, archived)
# Sellotape is good for kinkiness
(I helped save b3ta! Duke Otterby you pre-verts, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 18:57, archived)
# Amen to that brother
(BloodthirstyTurtle can no longer smell the blood of any englishmen, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 18:58, archived)
# I like you :)
(I helped save b3ta! Duke Otterby you pre-verts, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 18:58, archived)
# i stuck some on my hair when it was long, bad idea i tell you
(Rattlehead all time with the gay, forever touching, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 19:00, archived)
# yes, long hair and sellotape = bad
UNLESS you happen to like pain. In which case it's a jizz fest, or so I've heard
(BloodthirstyTurtle can no longer smell the blood of any englishmen, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 19:02, archived)
# well i used to wash my long hair in the shower as if it was short, it took me awhile to figure out why it had so many knots in it
(Rattlehead all time with the gay, forever touching, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 19:04, archived)
# I chopped all my hair off for charity once
took me four weeks to work out that I no longer needed conditioner (the gooey stuff we girls use) and I'd walked around for those four weeks looking like a grease monkey. Bad times.
(BloodthirstyTurtle can no longer smell the blood of any englishmen, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 19:09, archived)
# that gooey stuff is great, i should have used that
(Rattlehead all time with the gay, forever touching, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 19:13, archived)
# I like the herbal essences ones
because it reminds me of the adverts with the moaning women.

the only advert for shampoo I like, as I have a weakness for desperate housewives.
(BloodthirstyTurtle can no longer smell the blood of any englishmen, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 19:16, archived)
# are you that way inclined?
(Rattlehead all time with the gay, forever touching, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 19:20, archived)
# No
but if i delve deep into my heart of hearts, I can't say I would kick a desperate housewife out of bed.
(BloodthirstyTurtle can no longer smell the blood of any englishmen, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 19:30, archived)
# : D
(Rattlehead all time with the gay, forever touching, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 19:32, archived)
# and parts of me like you!
giggity
(BloodthirstyTurtle can no longer smell the blood of any englishmen, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 19:01, archived)
# The parts you can have fun with? :)
(I helped save b3ta! Duke Otterby you pre-verts, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 19:02, archived)
# The parts that make fun fun!
just slide me home :P
(BloodthirstyTurtle can no longer smell the blood of any englishmen, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 19:04, archived)
# :)
(I helped save b3ta! Duke Otterby you pre-verts, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 19:05, archived)
# oh, just remembered this joke
why do women have legs?

have you seen the mess that snails make?
(BloodthirstyTurtle can no longer smell the blood of any englishmen, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 19:06, archived)
# Arf!
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 19:24, archived)
# Hell, I like you
You can come over to my house and fuck my sister!
(I helped save b3ta! The Coast Of Yemen, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 19:10, archived)
# Comb her with a fine toothed comb
and I'll go to town on her for free
(BloodthirstyTurtle can no longer smell the blood of any englishmen, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 19:11, archived)
# You should have come to pop tarts
(I helped save b3ta! epiphany coming live from sweden, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 19:33, archived)
# I come to many things
oooooooooh, she's done it again.....
(BloodthirstyTurtle can no longer smell the blood of any englishmen, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 19:48, archived)
# :(
(I helped save b3ta! epiphany coming live from sweden, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 20:02, archived)
# Yes.

CFM
(I helped save b3ta! LordManley twitter.com/LordManley, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 18:52, archived)
# I should stress that I did not enjoy this.
I appear to be smiling, but I am actually very angry.
(I helped save b3ta! LordManley twitter.com/LordManley, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 18:55, archived)
# I need to meet this man
and lay at his feet
(BloodthirstyTurtle can no longer smell the blood of any englishmen, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 18:55, archived)
# I am a fat, middle aged, married man.
You do indeed need to do so.
(I helped save b3ta! LordManley twitter.com/LordManley, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 18:57, archived)
# nevertheless
you look so pretty in a package
(BloodthirstyTurtle can no longer smell the blood of any englishmen, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 18:58, archived)
# I do try.
I used to look pretty damned good out of the box too.

These days I am just a fat wanker.

(I helped save b3ta! LordManley twitter.com/LordManley, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 19:00, archived)
#
(Rattlehead all time with the gay, forever touching, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 19:02, archived)
# Yes :)
(I helped save b3ta! Duke Otterby you pre-verts, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 19:03, archived)
# :)
(I helped save b3ta! LordManley twitter.com/LordManley, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 19:05, archived)
# I am loving the pants
are they cords?

If they're cords I'm going to make love to your bumhole.

and you're gonna enjoy it.
(BloodthirstyTurtle can no longer smell the blood of any englishmen, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 19:10, archived)
# No, they are red 501s, but they are dead now.
I generally wear beige chords I am afraid, although I would like another maroon pair.
(I helped save b3ta! LordManley twitter.com/LordManley, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 19:14, archived)
# you are my god
(BloodthirstyTurtle can no longer smell the blood of any englishmen, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 19:15, archived)
# And when I was your age
you were nearly 2.
(I helped save b3ta! LordManley twitter.com/LordManley, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 19:24, archived)
# and one hell of a sexy two year old
so there
(BloodthirstyTurtle can no longer smell the blood of any englishmen, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 19:33, archived)
# Asphyxichrist.
(I helped save b3ta! Ttssattsr, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 18:56, archived)
# Oh, is David Carradine the compo this week then?
;)
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 18:56, archived)
# Go fuck yourself.
(I helped save b3ta! LordManley twitter.com/LordManley, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 18:58, archived)
# shame you lived through it
(I helped save b3ta! prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 18:57, archived)
# Excuse me what do you think you're doing?
Sweating sellotape? Oh, carry on.
(I helped save b3ta! Ttssattsr, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 18:55, archived)
# why am I looking at your dog?
(I helped save b3ta! prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 18:56, archived)
# Why am I looking at your dog?
(I helped save b3ta! LordManley twitter.com/LordManley, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 18:58, archived)
# Congratulations :D
(I helped save b3ta! epiphany coming live from sweden, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 18:59, archived)
# Nick, crawling out from under a soiled sheet, hair knotted and teeth yellow, makes his move on an unsuspecting sellotape dwarf.
Little do they know that an owl watches in the distance.
(I helped save b3ta! Ttssattsr, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 19:03, archived)
# I'm sorry, you know I don't speak Spanish
(I helped save b3ta! epiphany coming live from sweden, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 19:04, archived)
# Twit.
(I helped save b3ta! LordManley twitter.com/LordManley, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 19:07, archived)
# ... the owl calls as he chows on a festering potato. "Uegh", he pukes a little ball of sick. It's harvested and sold to children to cut open.
The owl swivels its head 720 degrees on 3 axis as it hears a yelp of lovepain from Nick. The owl becomes agitated and hides in a sock. The villagers riot.
(I helped save b3ta! Ttssattsr, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 19:11, archived)
# 'Twoo' would have surficed.
(I helped save b3ta! LordManley twitter.com/LordManley, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 19:25, archived)
# Use your imagination, man. There are wonderful treats inside your head.
(I helped save b3ta! Ttssattsr, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 19:32, archived)
# I tried that yesterday.
I waxed lyrical and it just made cockweasle cry.
(I helped save b3ta! LordManley twitter.com/LordManley, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 19:44, archived)
# BE STILL YA LITTLE CUNT!
/bad boy bubby blog!
(I helped save b3ta! Zank Frappa Who let the lefties in?, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 19:08, archived)
# Replyin to da pictur ov da girl right ere.
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 19:24, archived)
# She's obviously not all there, so she might sleep with me, yeah?
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 19:27, archived)
# That's how this internet thing works? Right?
RIGHT?
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 19:28, archived)
# if you post something truly funny on the internet
god will reward you in heaven with 5 formerly career-oriented women.
(I helped save b3ta! PedroHin Come along & ride on a Flantastic Voyage, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 19:39, archived)
# wouldn't using a filter be a lot less painful?
(I helped save b3ta! tubaman, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 19:35, archived)
# That there is quite sexy.
(I helped save b3ta! LordManley twitter.com/LordManley, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 19:50, archived)
# Doesn't Grape my Squidlo
personally,

but whatever gets you off...
(I helped save b3ta! tubaman, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 1:54, archived)