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# Woo, a legal threat!
Check this out, received from the makers of Cillit Bang! Guess they finally saw this site?



Click for bigger (100 kb)

Do I:

1. Frame it?

2. Use it to wipe my arse? (Might be a bit uncomfortable, it's been printed on 140gsm paper.)

3. Email them and say 'it's a fucking parody you bunch of dumb fucks'?

4. Send them a letter stating the same as 3 above and enclose an invoice for my 'handling fee'?

5. Offer to sell them the clitbang.co.uk domain for a nominal fee... say around £1,000?
(RabidRodent I'm the person your mother warned you about, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 14:54, archived)
# yes
(I helped save b3ta! PointlessCamel Last one on drugs is a queer., Tue 28 Jul 2009, 14:55, archived)
# I'm actually tempted...
...to send them a letter signed by "Barry Scott" of our "legal team"... see what they make of it?
(RabidRodent I'm the person your mother warned you about, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 14:57, archived)
# Make of it? Why they could make a brooch, or a plane, or a pterodactyl...
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 15:07, archived)
# ahaha
i'd love to see that pterodactyl
(I helped save b3ta! PointlessCamel Last one on drugs is a queer., Tue 28 Jul 2009, 15:08, archived)
# pffft
(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! Whato_Jeeves Did your surgery require a vaginal mesh patch?, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 15:08, archived)
# hahahaha...
I stumbled acorss another film of his the other day, where he plays a gay rapist who rapes schoolgirls (?)

It's played for laughs too

www.imdb.com/title/tt0087132/
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 15:13, archived)
# The user review makes me really want to see this:
Offensive stereotypes, freakishly huge breasts, muddy catfights, snakes, and bad karate.
(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! Whato_Jeeves Did your surgery require a vaginal mesh patch?, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 15:19, archived)
# ^
(I helped save b3ta! epiphany coming live from sweden, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 15:21, archived)
# I only saw the trailer
and I have to say it's a film that could have only been made in the 70s
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 15:26, archived)
# Shit in a box , put some explosives innit...whipe your arse with the letter.....and send it back.
(I helped save b3ta! Floppy Donkey crawled out of the ditch., Tue 28 Jul 2009, 14:57, archived)
# they should shit down their own site
theirs can't be anywhere near as amusing than the linked one
(cenaris Is dividing 3 by waffle, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 14:59, archived)
# this
(I helped save b3ta! PointlessCamel Last one on drugs is a queer., Tue 28 Jul 2009, 15:00, archived)
# ask cr3
he is king of the internets
(richard cropper's comedy account Stephen Frizzle is on the sex offenders list, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 14:59, archived)
# Squirrel Solutions?
ewww
(theswollenbeef where there's a will there's a wank, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 14:59, archived)
# given that you are using their trademarked logo
i suggest either changing the site content or removing it
(I helped save b3ta! mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 15:00, archived)
# ^very much this
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 15:02, archived)
# yep....
this is the most secure and less expensive way.
(I helped save b3ta! Floppy Donkey crawled out of the ditch., Tue 28 Jul 2009, 15:03, archived)
# indeed this
Reckitt Benckiser own most of the western world.
(I helped save b3ta! PointlessCamel Last one on drugs is a queer., Tue 28 Jul 2009, 15:05, archived)
# they just bought the outer ring of Jupiter too
(I helped save b3ta! Floppy Donkey crawled out of the ditch., Tue 28 Jul 2009, 15:09, archived)
# Not as much as P&G and Unilever...
But Reckitt wouldnt give me a job.... bastards :(
(I helped save b3ta! epiphany coming live from sweden, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 15:19, archived)
# Tell them you will do special deal on Clitbang Dildos for all their staff.
(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! Whato_Jeeves Did your surgery require a vaginal mesh patch?, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 15:01, archived)
# wait for ann summers to start sending you letters
(I helped save b3ta! McBadger COW, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 15:02, archived)
# 6. Remove the offending items due to infringement on a trademark which you've been called up on
7. Prophet
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 15:02, archived)
# and then 3.
pffft
(I helped save b3ta! PointlessCamel Last one on drugs is a queer., Tue 28 Jul 2009, 15:03, archived)
# haha, yes :)
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 15:04, archived)
# Quick, before somebody spontaneously sends you money in an attempt to buy that dildo and clean their kitchen with it
having confused it with the cillit bang product due to the similarity of the trademarks.
(_Felix 's school of dance and occult sciences, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 15:06, archived)
# Simples
(I helped save b3ta! Bloop Fri 16 Jul, 22:10, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 15:16, archived)
# One thing I would say...
Surely they can't demand you cancel the domain registration, since that is not impinging on their copyright.

That's just unfortunate that they think their customers can't type proper like
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 15:03, archived)
# he could add a note saying 'were you looking for cillit bang'? and a link to their proper website.
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 15:04, archived)
# this seems a fair solution
but there seems to be a bit of this market/meerkat business, where large corps get their knickers in a twist because someone's domain has a similar name to theirs.

Obviously, this case is a bit different as he's clearly taken it a bit further
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 15:07, archived)
# I'm just awaiting
comparethemargate.com
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 15:08, archived)
# www.comparethemarking.com
where you get to look at teachers "working"
(I helped save b3ta! new_matt, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 15:11, archived)
# At this time of year?
you must be joking

Lady S stared her hols last Tuesday and has done precisely bugger all apart from cook my dinner (woman) every night.
Which was nice
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 15:14, archived)
# Get her to do quantum physics if she has spare time!
(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 15:20, archived)
# Tell them
to send you the still-beating heart of Barry Scott, and you'll take it down.
(I helped save b3ta! Finite "Aardvark sorted out my shit!" on, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 15:05, archived)
# Good idea...
In fact I could send it in the RansomNote font, you know, the one that looks like letters cut out from a newspaper?
(RabidRodent I'm the person your mother warned you about, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 15:30, archived)
# seeing as they haven't actually threatened you
and have been rather nice, and they are in the right, I'd do as they ask
(negative armadillo There never was much hope..just a fool's hope., Tue 28 Jul 2009, 15:05, archived)
# I'd like to know in what sense they "take into account whether the context is humourous or satirical".
"Take into account" would appear to be a way of saying "don't care about".
(_Felix 's school of dance and occult sciences, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 15:13, archived)
# well...
I don't think they consider it an issue that there's a vaguely offensive funny made from their logo etc.

they do consider it a concern that a vaguely offensive funny made from their logo is one typo away from their innocent customer base, which to be honest is fair enough, and all they've done is asked nicely.
(I helped save b3ta! Mockingbird Practitioner of SCIENCE, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 15:31, archived)
# 6. TELL THE INTERNETS
(I helped save b3ta! epiphany coming live from sweden, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 15:06, archived)
# good things come to those who wait
(theswollenbeef where there's a will there's a wank, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 15:09, archived)
# well done, you have unlocked the "CEASE AND DESIST ACHIEVEMENT"!
i had one from NHS Direct, how we chuckled. Consider it a badge like you got in cubs and just close the site :)
(I helped save b3ta! new_matt, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 15:08, archived)
# Haha

someone should actually make a badge for this
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 15:26, archived)
# I think a parody is usually okay,
But you shouldn't have touched their logo. I think they have you there.
You could always offer to take it down if they would buy the domain off of you.
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 15:12, archived)
# Reply as follows.
Dear Sirs,

Thank you for your recent email.

Yours faithfully,

[your name here]

edit: I just typed www.clitbang.com hahaha

sell it to them

or give it to them :)

a site that is JUST as easy to "misstype"

edit2: also, I was once told the response to a C&D

to paraphase: "Piss Off"

As a reasonable gesture I would suggest the removal of their copyright material from your site.

and then they can go fuck themselves. :)

SELL THE DOMAIN TO A PORNO COMPANY!! :)
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 15:25, archived)
# 1
followed shortly by 5
(NoStrings Tastes like zombies!!, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 15:28, archived)
# My advice:
Enjoy the moment. Drop the site. Last year i had a "discussion" with the manager of the Bangles. He was a really nice guy, but was going to sue the hell out me anyway. Using Pr*nces legal team. They found me pretty fast..
(I helped save b3ta! TheSundaeLunch I'm a fucking shrub, alright?, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 15:31, archived)
# Stick up a prophylactic front page
"Were you looking for Barry-Scott sponsored cleansing solution Cillit Bang? Then click here!"

"Were you looking for filth? Click here!"
(I helped save b3ta! Mockingbird Practitioner of SCIENCE, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 15:37, archived)
# Clit bang
Just been on the site clit bang, best deep chuckle ive had in years
(wobbler, Tue 28 Jul 2009, 23:03, archived)