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Pre-inscribe now!

From the Official Democratic Repulic of Korea's website" comes this little beauty!

An added bonus to the site is the accessibility it provides to people who can only speak the Martian language of Esperanto! Hooray!

(Kimbo, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 8:23, archived)

i like the registration form at the end

ARE YOU A JOURNALIST? ARE YOU? EH?

"Yes", or "No! I'm NOT a journalist."

(

_null_, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 8:25, archived)

Hmmm

do I have to tell them I'm a journalist twice?

What if I admit to it in 2.1 and say I'm a blacksmith in 2.2..?

(

Ijon Tichy, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 8:35, archived)

journasmith.

(

_null_, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 8:36, archived)

I keep trying to think

of something funny to say to make this thread more interesting. As you can see, I'm having terrible trouble.

(

Banana, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 8:38, archived)

norks!

not necessarily funny, but usually distracting

(

JustHere4Coffee remembers when all o' this were car parks, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 8:47, archived)

I once played ping pong

if that counts

(

riverghost servicing your mum since, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 8:37, archived)

Pinoccio

(

riverghost servicing your mum since, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 8:07, archived)

no it's not.

and i'm going to argue the toss until you admit it's not.

(

_null_, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 8:08, archived)

Well

you'll have to decide if it's the nose or not!

(

riverghost servicing your mum since, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 8:12, archived)

don't see it :(

(Ampersand, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 8:42, archived)

Nice.

I just got an e-mail from a lurker whih begins:

"As a longtime lurker on B3ta, I simply must say, for I can not longer hold it in, how much I've enjoyed reading your comments which are always so astute and entertaining."

and ends

"So there you have it: you're right smart and entertaining. Your posts are interesting and relevant. Your links are perfect. I enjoy you a lot."

Am I right to be scared?

(

supermoore: HUNG, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 8:09, archived)

i would be

rather frightened

(

MelbaToast, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 8:10, archived)

here you see the inherent problem with email

you can't see the stains to identify if they were masturbating.

(

_null_, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 8:11, archived)

Lurkers are funny.

They don't post, but they do manage to write fan mail. Strikes me as rather odd, that!

(

barnesy, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 8:12, archived)

maybe

it might be a joke, or maybe it's that oogy guy again.

(

kitty meow meow, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 8:12, archived)

Yeah sorry about that.

I'm your no 1 fan btw
;)

Oh yeah,
who was the b3tan with the tennis racket on Dick n Dom in da bungalow ?
I think I remember hem from the newsletter..

(

Samsonite, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 8:15, archived)

(

_null_, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 8:16, archived)

(

supermoore: HUNG, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 8:16, archived)

Blimey!!!

I fekkin knew it was a b3tan.
Damn my hangover.

(

Samsonite, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 8:17, archived)

You?

Astute and entertaining? Well, I never!

I got an email from a lurker once answering a question I posted! Said he surfed it at work for amusement but the corporate firewall wouldn't allow him to post so he jotted down my email and replied from home.

Awfully nice chap and I didn't feel threatened at all.

You however... ever read/seen Steven King's "Misery"?

(

Ratsta, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 8:20, archived)

God bless mums

(

Tedmus, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 8:32, archived)

Are you getting

my fan mail again?

(

bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 8:32, archived)

This is the best photo of you

www.u-muppet.co.uk/imgdir/Funny%20and%20B3TA/B3TA%20Bash/Koit/HB4.jpg

EVER!!!

(

Samsonite, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 8:37, archived)

I thought that was you Bovine!

I had just the same wings for my costume.

And half a can of spray glitter.

I like sparkly things

(

gracielou, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 8:46, archived)

Ha ha ha ha ha

ha ha ha ha.

Damn I'm hot.

(

bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 9:02, archived)

I think

they've confused you with someone else.

Edit: Mind you someone at the bash revealed that they absolutely loved my stuff too - I could've kissed him. In fact I probably did...

(

Ijon Tichy, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 8:38, archived)

I find that surprising...

:D

You're a man!!!!
Hahaha

(

Samsonite, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 8:44, archived)

Erm

you quite clearly didn't see me running around Babushka kissing all and sundry then....

(

Ijon Tichy, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 8:46, archived)

www.u-muppet.co.uk/imgdir/Funny%20and%20B3TA/B3TA%20Bash/Matsimpsk/img_1012.jpg

I thought it looked like you all had a good time.

(

Samsonite, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 8:48, archived)

Yes

I love Glis...

Edit: www.yougotspotted.com/-1-350-K-3797.aspx

(

Ijon Tichy, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 8:51, archived)

Yeeeees you big tart

Je ne regrette rien still?
:)

(

Samsonite, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 8:57, archived)

It's possible

I may regret one or two things on Saturday.

(

Ijon Tichy, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 8:59, archived)

Fools!

It's a half-car-half-plane with a penis!

Again, I have solved the puzzle.

(A Wooden Leg Named Smith, Thu 6 Nov 2003, 4:03, archived)

(

tolin its me, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 7:58, archived)

(

supermoore: HUNG, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 8:03, archived)

30 years time?

(

_null_, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 8:04, archived)

Saturday morning even.

(

supermoore: HUNG, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 8:05, archived)

i woke up this mornin to find out i got my first FP :) thought id just let you know

('Andeh', Mon 3 Nov 2003, 8:06, archived)

...

it's a redex...

(

_null_, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 8:07, archived)

whoah

What the hell is going on here.

It is so awesome.

(crumpled, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 8:18, archived)

nah.

too busy picking brains with sporks

(

_null_, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 8:03, archived)

This took WAY too long!

(avid, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 7:31, archived)

what is it originally?

(

kitty meow meow, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 7:34, archived)

It is shout

(avid, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 7:38, archived)

woo

nice pootling :)

(

kitty meow meow, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 7:40, archived)

Dear god, this is incredible

I'd be pretty supprised if it hasn't been seen before, but still
The ASCii matrix

(

Whillow, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 7:41, archived)

I haven't

but that doesn't mean it hasn't been posted. It's a lot harder to tell with the search turned off

it is very very good.

(

kitty meow meow, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 7:43, archived)

Semi Woo

There are progs that do that automatically....

(avid, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 7:44, archived)

I know

I just like shiny moving objects

(

Whillow, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 7:46, archived)

me too

and someone bothered to do it, too

(

kitty meow meow, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 7:46, archived)

hehe they have different sized dogs

(crazymum, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 7:26, archived)

hahaha!

it's scary because the kids head on the adult doesn't look wrong immediately

(

kitty meow meow, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 7:29, archived)

Your right

The big guy has a small dog and the little guy has a big dog. Blimey did not notice that until you pointed it out.

(

NIrving Cannot think of anything to say!, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 7:30, archived)

your name is changing more rapidly than

superman.

(crazymum, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 7:36, archived)

Had to change it as because of

This Post the guy has 103 days superiority and a hell of a lot more posts under his belt

(

NIrving Cannot think of anything to say!, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 7:37, archived)

England gave us four mop-tops...

Akron, Ohio gave them five flower-pot-tops...

(wackywood, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 7:26, archived)

Very clever

Devo rock!

(

Vermin, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 7:32, archived)

Step on a crack...

Break ya mama's back...

Whip it good.

(

Digeridude Lord Wellington's Beef Trapeze, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 7:44, archived)

geraldine firmly believed she had been someone else in a past life

(

wingpig wish I'd known about liquify eighteen years ago, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 7:14, archived)

woo!

(

kitty meow meow, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 7:15, archived)

In the future...

We'll have to go a little farther than the doorway of our dorms...

Click'er for bigger.

(wackywood, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 7:05, archived)

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
MUST. CONSUME. NICOTINE.

(you FUCKING *BANG* BANG*BANG* AAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 7:14, archived)

That's

funny because it's true

The anti-smoking lobby just want more and more and more and...

(Flyslip, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 7:15, archived)

woo

I won't have to breathe it anymore then

(

kitty meow meow, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 7:15, archived)

ThreadJack: Real or Fake you decide?

That cannot have happened as the shadows are all wrong. The sun is rising from the South, whilst the moon is travelling across the Eastern Hemisphere, meaning the Flag shadow should be going from North to South, instead of East to West.

Now how about this guy?

(

NIrving Cannot think of anything to say!, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 7:28, archived)

Chemistry

Not to mention the cigarette would not combust!

(wackywood, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 7:30, archived)

does anyone else think

that cheese melts too quickly these days?

(you FUCKING *BANG* BANG*BANG* AAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 6:50, archived)

You can melt cheese?

Oh my God! My life has been meaningless to this point. From this day forward, I will devote my whole life to the pursuit of......

(avid, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 6:54, archived)

mangos?

(

kitty meow meow, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 7:07, archived)

If you want to melt mangos

Just come to my backyard.

There's heaps.. and I hate 'em, so go for it...

(Flyslip, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 7:16, archived)

where do you live?

I love fresh mangos

(

kitty meow meow, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 7:17, archived)

Sadly,

a long long way from you.

Ipswich, Queensland, Australia to be exact. However I did live in Connecticut last year... which is a wee bit closer to you, but we didn't have mangos there. (Somehow I think the snows would have killed them)

(Flyslip, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 7:53, archived)

ThreadJack: MegaMan sings Queen

Clicky here - I did not do this, found it and liked it enough to share with you guys.

Oh and Bega Cheese melts the best over here, conducted a lot of cheese toasty testing.
The kind that is pre grated in a resealable bag works the best, although the normal Bega stuff works just as good but requires more work.

Talking about Cheese, you can add them to Burgers and then you can rate them

NSFW - No way am I affiliate to this site, so please don't consider it spam. It is just so tastefully done.

(

NIrving Cannot think of anything to say!, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 7:07, archived)

where was your extra 's'?

and good morning

(

kitty meow meow, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 7:09, archived)

Was originally DarkEdges

Then dropped the S and Good Morning all, Although it is nearly neighbours time here.

(

NIrving Cannot think of anything to say!, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 7:10, archived)

neighbors time?

you're Darkedge right? I'm confused now

(

kitty meow meow, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 7:12, archived)

Yeah

In Australia Neighbours in on @ 6:30pm on Channel 10, so I get my daily fix of young Asutralian Tottie

(

NIrving Cannot think of anything to say!, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 7:14, archived)

Ahhh

you aren't the English Darkedge then. Pardon me, nice to meet you

(

kitty meow meow, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 7:14, archived)

Well I am English

Did not know there was a DarkEdge on here.

(

NIrving Cannot think of anything to say!, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 7:15, archived)

yeah

I'm just a bit confused, I think. You're pretty old (usernumber wise), but if you've never met me in person, then you're someone not who I was thinking of

(

kitty meow meow, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 7:17, archived)

that's very very good

woo :)

(

kitty meow meow, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 7:11, archived)

Their agreement thingy wants to set cookies I think.

So they can get fucked.

(

Ratsta, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 8:12, archived)

are you loathsome tonight?

(

wingpig wish I'd known about liquify eighteen years ago, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 6:49, archived)

a bit

(you FUCKING *BANG* BANG*BANG* AAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 6:51, archived)

The King of Pop

(avid, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 6:46, archived)

is in Germany?

edit:filthy editor!

(

kitty meow meow, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 6:47, archived)

I thought it might be

too hard

(avid, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 6:48, archived)

no,

but he might be

(oh dear god... did I just say that?)

(Flyslip, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 6:49, archived)

primative entertainment

(Philosophacles Now is my chance to be funny, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 6:38, archived)

nooooo!!

*hides*

(

MelbaToast, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 6:39, archived)

the sponge is a

devious creature.
never trust anything that spends long periods of time not moving.
who knows what they get up to when nobody's looking?

(you FUCKING *BANG* BANG*BANG* AAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 6:41, archived)

hence

why he was made by nehandrethals.

(Philosophacles Now is my chance to be funny, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 6:42, archived)

Is he stoned?

(

kitty meow meow, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 6:42, archived)

Arf!

he does rather look it tho...

(

MelbaToast, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 6:43, archived)

yes or...

he looks like he was just "pleased"

(Philosophacles Now is my chance to be funny, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 6:44, archived)

i think

i am going to cry now.

(

MelbaToast, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 6:45, archived)

by way of apology

for my previous post will you accept a picture of prince charles admiring his prize winning giant kittens?

please?

(you FUCKING *BANG* BANG*BANG* AAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 6:24, archived)

cuddly!

i want one

(

MelbaToast, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 6:32, archived)

then you shall have one

as soon as the royal family see fit to release them onto the public market.

(you FUCKING *BANG* BANG*BANG* AAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 6:34, archived)

wee!

(

MelbaToast, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 6:36, archived)

kitten

kitten kitten kitten kitten kitten kitten kitten kitten kitten kitten kitten kitten kitten kitten kitten kitten kitten kitten kitten kitten kitten kitten kitten kitten kitten kitten kitten kitten kitten kitten kitten kitten kitten kitten kitten kitten kitten kitten kitten kitten kitten kitten kitten kitten kitten kitten kitten kitten kitten kitten kitten kitten kitten kitten kitten kitten kitten kitten kitten kitten kitten kitten kitten kitten

!

(

kitty meow meow, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 6:35, archived)

yarrrrrr

(

KittyWaste lives at Sleepingplanet.com, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 6:15, archived)

Had to

be done

Woo yay. Nicely done

(Flyslip, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 6:17, archived)

i can't belive

i'm the first...

(

KittyWaste lives at Sleepingplanet.com, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 6:18, archived)

Who is it supposed to be?

j/k

(Philosophacles Now is my chance to be funny, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 6:21, archived)

simply: a pirate

Cryptic: Johnny Depp

(

KittyWaste lives at Sleepingplanet.com, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 6:22, archived)

he didn't have a patch...

and yet he's still the first pirate to come to mind...

(

MelbaToast, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 6:24, archived)

Looks more like

a closeup on Chris the Ninja Pirate to me!

(

Ratsta, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 6:37, archived)

it is obviously

DANGERMOUSE

(littlebootshorse, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 9:23, archived)

yay

how are you?

(

kitty meow meow, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 6:36, archived)

I'm tops

i have a job, a new job which i really enjoy.
I get to ride my motorbike all over sydney fixing PC's.
tops.

dream job almost.

(

KittyWaste lives at Sleepingplanet.com, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 6:39, archived)

yay

I want a job. I'm looking for one right now

Well, I don't really want one, but I'd like the money.

I remember you giving advice before. Do you think that it's acceptable to ask for more vacation time in exchange for a reduction in salary?

(

kitty meow meow, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 6:44, archived)

embroidery is becoming a lost art

big

(

gracielou, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 6:01, archived)

Classic literature

always makes me emotional.

(

Ratsta, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 6:05, archived)

i found that

far too amusing...perhaps it's time for sleep :)

(

MelbaToast, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 6:06, archived)

I found that

very amusing also

And it's the middle of the day where I am :-S

(Flyslip, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 6:18, archived)

awwww

did your gram knit that for you?

I will end the night on this high note, taking my fourth frontpage with me.
good night

(

sof sof, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 6:06, archived)

hehehe

(

kitty meow meow, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 6:12, archived)

I'm quite astonished

that sandman hasn't become a meme yet.

(Foetustron wishes he had a longer name., Mon 3 Nov 2003, 5:58, archived)

I think you

may have overestimated our desire for gay porn.

Actually it's more that it's a NSFW image which is why you don't see too many boobies around here either.

(

Ratsta, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 6:04, archived)

With all the badly drawn penises flying around

I don't check b3ta at work anymore.
Anyway, point taken.

(Foetustron wishes he had a longer name., Mon 3 Nov 2003, 6:06, archived)

I've seen more revealing pics of women on here

(

kitty meow meow, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 6:34, archived)

Oh sure,

they happen from time to time but I can't think of any properly NSFW memes.

And to save a second post, I didn't say b3tans were mature or above purile artistic renditions of penii, but badly drawn cocks aren't anywhere near so NSFW as actual nekkid bodies.

(

Ratsta, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 6:40, archived)

but

nothing bad is showing. There's a penguin in the way

(

kitty meow meow, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 6:45, archived)

HR down under

has become somewhat 'zealous' in their pursuit of a non discriminatory workplace. Pics like that are a one way ticket to the tribunal so I'm told by my friend in HR, fluffy penguin or not. You can't even put up a "Sports Illustrated" calendar these days for fear of a complaint about sexual harrassment in the workplace. Of course women can put up pics of guys and wear skin-tight, revealing clothing designed to inflame the loins but that's another story...

Fortunately I've a private office at my current job and I'm sure to position my desk that I (and not my screen) is facing the door and I keep the blinds behind me shut!

(

Ratsta, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 6:50, archived)

good plan

if you're going to be on b3ta.

It really is a matter of what people's bosses would find offensive. There's probably not a mod anyways. I think there should be someone to cover 3-7am, but we've been ignored so far.

(

kitty meow meow, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 7:19, archived)

at least this time something cute is rampaging through Japan

(

MelbaToast, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 5:56, archived)

yay!

I wish I was there.

Why can't I be in more than one place at once?

(

kitty meow meow, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 5:57, archived)

when I complete

my teleporter you can use it :)

(

MelbaToast, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 5:58, archived)

cool

(

kitty meow meow, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 6:34, archived)

Coz

you're not skitzophrenic?

(

K3rry, Mon 3 Nov 2003, 5:59, archived)

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