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The oldest parrot uses foul language like Churchill

http://funreports.com/2002/04/26/28072.html

interesting

(dustinyo, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 5:39, archived)

Wanna bet?

"actually lots of words rhyme with Zog... *cough*
but nobody will ever go back far enough in the archives to do ME a nice limerick. bastards."

A fiendish young B3tan called Zog
Bought a nappy and coat for his dog
As he tried to truss it
and fasten the gusset
it filled up his hands with a log!

While I'm on a roll...

There is a young lad, Rob Manuel
Whose friends said he'd all go to Hell
This Internet l33ter
then started up B3ta
to make sure they joined him as well!

(

grinfish redux I can remember when all this were eels, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 4:59, archived)

there was a young b3tan called Grinfish

his posts were often quite impish,
Late one night,
I challenged him to a fight,
only to find,
he was really rather wimpish.

(

pep, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 8:49, archived)

she spends most of her time sat on b3ta

or watching repeats of blue peter,
I'm not talking 'bout Shep,
but our loving Pep,
who's nicer, and kinder and sweeter!
:)

(

pickledpizza Older, nicer, fluffier., Tue 30 Apr 2002, 9:08, archived)

awww!

thankyouverymuch! I think i love you.

(

pep, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 9:14, archived)

There is a young fellow called Mike

Who all of the ladies quite like.
He spends all his days
In a happpy-filled haze
While sniffing the seat of Pep's bike.

(

mikeisbrill, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 9:36, archived)

hmmm....

I would be a little frightened, were it not for the fact I am the only person i know who can't ride a bike, and therefore has none...

(

pep, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 9:37, archived)

bugger

i only used your name cos the only other single-syllable girls names i could think of were - well, that was the only one. apart from steph, who is a slut i hate, and jane, who is a lovely girl i love.

(

mikeisbrill, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 9:49, archived)

I am flattered

that you thought of me.

last.
;-)

(

pep, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 9:54, archived)

It's early and I've been up since seven yesterday morning..

..but isn't Coo a bull?

Or is that all part of the irony?

j

(

syzygy, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 4:57, archived)

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 8:15, archived)

Noooooo

Dont spoil it. I dont know my animals. Its Lonely Coo, Im not going to change it now.

(

[Coo] is one of the Originals.., Tue 30 Apr 2002, 10:08, archived)

Last one before I go mad...

(

vulga is a foul mouthed cunt, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 2:40, archived)

Yes,

I think I'll go to bed on that note... Goodnight!
Yay, just realised that Wenesday will be my 100th day as a B3ta member / un-lurker. Huzzah!

(

vulga is a foul mouthed cunt, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 2:55, archived)

That post sucks, brits have yellow, nasty teeth. I hope you rot in Hell! You're a sick fucking bastard! w00t.

(KyleHorn, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 4:20, archived)

brits

kylehorn why was u born

(don, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 6:57, archived)

Well

yes I am, why do think I'm called Vulga? ANd I do have Yellow teeth, it matches the chewing tobacco-stained walls of your mum's house

(

vulga is a foul mouthed cunt, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 9:50, archived)

Sweet revenge is mine...

(

vulga is a foul mouthed cunt, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 2:21, archived)

Agent V

that is great, what a best-selling psycho thriller that would make.

(

pickledpizza Older, nicer, fluffier., Tue 30 Apr 2002, 9:04, archived)

Why

Ithankyou!!!

(

vulga is a foul mouthed cunt, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 9:46, archived)

My Uncle Sam...

is a sick bastard.

(Kimbo, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 2:12, archived)

nighty night everyone.

oh, before i hit the sack..

(

pickledpizza Older, nicer, fluffier., Tue 30 Apr 2002, 1:53, archived)

Oh shit... Hang on a sec...

(

vulga is a foul mouthed cunt, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 2:06, archived)

ha ha ha

that made me laugh loads. As did the other versions.

(Nacho, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 8:48, archived)

RIght finally finished downloading..

from Morphe-arse so off to bed...

Nite all.

(

penrithtearooms, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 1:44, archived)

Knowledge is power... To Kittens...

(

vulga is a foul mouthed cunt, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 1:40, archived)

fan-fucksock-ingly-shooby-dooby-tastic!

hoozah!

(

pickledpizza Older, nicer, fluffier., Tue 30 Apr 2002, 1:43, archived)

Definitely gets a

(

helmetcream, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 8:48, archived)

Nuts to bollocky

Lonely fucksocks.
Im off to cuntymints sleep now.
have to get up for college
nite all

(

[Coo] is one of the Originals.., Tue 30 Apr 2002, 1:30, archived)

You fucking sick bastard..

rot in hell - sleep well (Said in a Harry Hill way...)

Nite mate!

(

penrithtearooms, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 1:35, archived)

mehlehehehehe

it had to be done

(sultandibble, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 1:18, archived)

Sorry, but this book has a compelling sequel

I'll get me coat...

(

vulga is a foul mouthed cunt, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 1:10, archived)

Its a re-post yes

But its 2am and i dont care, im going to bed

(Dean, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 1:12, archived)

nice

pussy!

(

pickledpizza Older, nicer, fluffier., Tue 30 Apr 2002, 1:12, archived)

why

thanx, I'm thinking of making some wallpaper out of some of them, can anyone scan me some other O'Reilly books?

(

vulga is a foul mouthed cunt, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 1:14, archived)

Check out this....

link they got most of em already for your potatoshopping pleasure...

(

penrithtearooms, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 1:21, archived)

This was in the blog a while ago

Make your own

(

[Coo] is one of the Originals.., Tue 30 Apr 2002, 1:21, archived)

Would you care for a bite of my Vengelerstrasse bar?

(lsd4all, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 1:09, archived)

Call me..

a twat but I don't get it... Sorry..

(

penrithtearooms, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 1:16, archived)

it's a simpsons reference

click here 4 episode text

(lsd4all, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 1:22, archived)

OMG

They go into so much detail as to what happens in the episode

(

[Coo] is one of the Originals.., Tue 30 Apr 2002, 1:25, archived)

Can you reccomend

a good (or any) source for McBain samples? I'm looking for "Ah ze googles zay do nothing" so I can loop it on a tape a go to sleep listening to it.

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 1:27, archived)

My Eyes.....

goggle wav is here

(lsd4all, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 1:41, archived)

thank you kind sir

I will die happy now

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 1:46, archived)

ohhhh...

I see now...

(

penrithtearooms, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 1:29, archived)

New album

old joke

(Dean, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 0:59, archived)

Arf

I hadn't heard that one before

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 1:03, archived)

May I suggest....

Gary Glitter's version of Holiday in Cambodia?

(Jesus, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 1:06, archived)

gary

young ones let us fuck the young ones

(don, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 7:01, archived)

Episode 13 - Coo meets poster girl

Influenced by PistolBitch
EDIT: Updated link on Coo website.
Coo

(

[Coo] is one of the Originals.., Tue 30 Apr 2002, 0:40, archived)

Mr Wicks...

(

vulga is a foul mouthed cunt, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 0:41, archived)

as ever....

funny as fuck. My hat is once again doffed...

(

penrithtearooms, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 0:43, archived)

Im glad people

like my anims. It makes me all happy. hehe

(

[Coo] is one of the Originals.., Tue 30 Apr 2002, 0:47, archived)

I really like the coo

jolly good show

(

crab_bloke), Tue 30 Apr 2002, 0:51, archived)

Fucksocks Fucksocks ra ra ra!

Jellycow approves

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 0:52, archived)

2 4 6 8

who do we..etc etc
i heart lonely coo

(

pickledpizza Older, nicer, fluffier., Tue 30 Apr 2002, 0:58, archived)

Hehe

(

[Coo] is one of the Originals.., Tue 30 Apr 2002, 0:58, archived)

PickledPizza meets Lonely Coo

I'm sure Mr.Wicks could arrange that.

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 1:01, archived)

Why of course

I would be more than happy to let Mr Pizza meet the Coo in sad story. But who would swear the most? who would walk away first?

(

[Coo] is one of the Originals.., Tue 30 Apr 2002, 1:02, archived)

and who would win

in a fight? or at scrabble?

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 1:05, archived)

fuck off cunt

you think we'd be matched.??
dozy shit.

(

pickledpizza Older, nicer, fluffier., Tue 30 Apr 2002, 1:03, archived)

Humm

I dont know. and are you trying to prove that you can swear more, or are you pissed at me for saying i might do it?
meh

(

[Coo] is one of the Originals.., Tue 30 Apr 2002, 1:06, archived)

sorry if I offended you.

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 1:09, archived)

hehee

no, not offended, suprised, and honoured.
just proving i can swear more than that cunt of a fucking bovine.

(

pickledpizza Older, nicer, fluffier., Tue 30 Apr 2002, 1:20, archived)

Thats ok then

Glad we didnt offend you in anyway. I might do some other nite. But its late now, so im off to bed

(

[Coo] is one of the Originals.., Tue 30 Apr 2002, 1:23, archived)

phew

I thought I'd inadvertantly suggested you had the manners of lonely coo, I'm sure you don't *hides*

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 1:23, archived)

I'm sure my webcam is fucksocked...

(

vulga is a foul mouthed cunt, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 0:39, archived)

Mine does the same thing

But in black and white not colour. It fucksocked as well.
Edit:

(

[Coo] is one of the Originals.., Tue 30 Apr 2002, 0:41, archived)

I`m getting

this

Got the idea from Xenon on the Amiga, I miss my Amiga so..

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 0:50, archived)

I reckon we could make a killing

selling fucked up webcams, acid-heads would love it. We'd clean up!

(

vulga is a foul mouthed cunt, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 1:05, archived)

There is a site

That was on the blog, to a guys site of pics that he had taken with a webcam/cam he had dropped in his pond or something. There all pretty fucked up, but there still kool

(

[Coo] is one of the Originals.., Tue 30 Apr 2002, 1:08, archived)

my web cam would look like this

if I had one.

and I was a skinny hacker that was nerdy enough to keep his backpack on while getting drunk.

just start at the beer and imagine the rest.

(

zog why change it now?, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 1:18, archived)

This time

I will get my coat

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 0:34, archived)

Man bites dog

fecking brilliant.
Anyone for a killing spree?

(

crab_bloke), Tue 30 Apr 2002, 0:29, archived)

leave it.

i'll be watching it on vhs tomorrow. don't spoil it.

(

pickledpizza Older, nicer, fluffier., Tue 30 Apr 2002, 0:31, archived)

fantastic

you'll love it.

(

crab_bloke), Tue 30 Apr 2002, 0:33, archived)

Yay!

Haven't seen it yet, but more tunes, crab bloke!

(

vulga is a foul mouthed cunt, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 0:40, archived)

Woo

absolutely fantastic film.great stuff. I was thinking of sending over a mookee number.

(

crab_bloke), Tue 30 Apr 2002, 0:50, archived)

I thought...

It was awful. Can't believe I bought it. OK, some bits were really smart (the sound man getting shot, for example), but most of it was shock-tactics tripe masquerading as being all "controversial" and "arty".

(The Werejackal, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 8:38, archived)

DaWolfey?

(

pickledpizza Older, nicer, fluffier., Tue 30 Apr 2002, 0:29, archived)

brilliant!

although i did have them pictured in my mind as the other way around

(

DaWolfey, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 1:00, archived)

God Damn It

Thats my heed your playing with.

(

Witty, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 1:03, archived)

(

pickledpizza Older, nicer, fluffier., Tue 30 Apr 2002, 1:42, archived)

I`m at the end if an old joke

oh well

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 0:09, archived)

Yay and woo

Coo might have a friend. Ill do it, ill make it an animation

(

[Coo] is one of the Originals.., Tue 30 Apr 2002, 0:13, archived)

WOO!

I would be honoured if I influenced a Coo animation in some small way!

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 0:17, archived)

Im working on it now

It shall be with you soon

(

[Coo] is one of the Originals.., Tue 30 Apr 2002, 0:19, archived)

waiting

with sweaty palms

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 0:21, archived)

ooh, coo meets a friend

as anarchic, but as lonely.
hooorah!

(

pickledpizza Older, nicer, fluffier., Tue 30 Apr 2002, 0:24, archived)

Have you ever read

"On Meeting The 100% Perfect Girl" by Haruki Murakami?
It's a short story where a guy and girl meet in the street and go WOW, this is the 100% perfect person for me and they are dead happy , then they go "Wait, what if we are wrong?",so they decide to separate for a year and see if they still love each other.BUT tragedy strikes and they both have 'orrible accidents and lose all their memory. Years later they pass each other in the street again and have a vague notion but....too late.

Very sad story, poorly expressed by me ( thankyou Pierre Smirnoff) and told purely because that's what the Lonely Coo making a friend put me in mind of.

(Jesus, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 0:40, archived)

No i havnt

Im sure there is a film based on the same thing though, i dont know.

(

[Coo] is one of the Originals.., Tue 30 Apr 2002, 0:49, archived)

There you go...

Simon, you may not have made it into college today but you have learnt somethig far more important from b3ta...
It's the site that keeps on giving...

(

penrithtearooms, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 0:50, archived)

Indeed

I will be making it into college tomorrow though. Or i will be getting 'your son has been a naughty boy' letters getting sent home.

(

[Coo] is one of the Originals.., Tue 30 Apr 2002, 1:27, archived)

Late

Late for one joke, very late for another... And I should be in bed. Hey, ho.

(

giblethead2000, Tue 30 Apr 2002, 0:21, archived)

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