anyone here got any experience being upset on the internet?
i'm sort of considering it, but it seems a lot of effort.
(Eukanuba, Tue 25 Feb 2014, 13:24, 22 replies)

Anyone here with a rep for being rude?
far be it from me to be earnest on B3ta but terrorizing people wherever I go,
It's not intentional, just keepin' the flow.

Fixin' test scores to get the best scores.
Droppin' banana peels all over the floor.
I'm the kid that made delinquency an art,
Last name Simpson, first name Bart.

I'm here today to introduce the next phase,
The next step in the big Bart craze.
I've got a dance real easy to do;
I learned it with no rhythm, and so can you.

So move your body if you've got the notion,
Front to back in a rock-like motion.
Now that you've got it, if you think you can,
Do it to the music--that's the Bartman.
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Tue 25 Feb 2014, 13:18, 3 replies)

Anyone here into being funny?
far be it from me to be earnest on B3ta, but you're all a bunch of pricks.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 25 Feb 2014, 13:13, 10 replies)

Anyone here been to France?
Far be it from me to risk being too earnest on b3ta, but when I discovered Paris it made a lot of croissants, and b3ta is pretty much identical to what I consider getting my neck burned by a fat kid to be.
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Tue 25 Feb 2014, 11:35, 2 replies)

anyone here a new order fan?
far be it from me to risk being too earnest on b3ta, but when I discovered new order fans it made a lot of sense, and joy division is pretty much identical to what I consider new order to be.
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 25 Feb 2014, 11:32, 1 reply)

Anyone here play the accordian?
Far be it from me to risk being too earnest on b3ta, but when I discovered accordians they made a lot of noise, and concertinas are pretty much identical to what I consider accordians to be.
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Tue 25 Feb 2014, 11:23, Reply)

My relative HH may now be the biggest black sheep, alledgedly.

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Tue 25 Feb 2014, 11:03, 8 replies)

Anyone here into Discordianism?
Far be it from me to risk being too earnest on b3ta, but when I discovered Discordianism it made a lot of sense, and b3ta is pretty much identical to what I consider Discordia to be.
(Eukanuba, Mon 24 Feb 2014, 23:09, 15 replies)

DJ Fresh is a fucking prick

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 24 Feb 2014, 21:52, 8 replies)

you can get with this
You can get with that.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 24 Feb 2014, 20:10, 2 replies)

My cousin has a FRESHWATER swimming pool, the povvo cunt.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 24 Feb 2014, 18:16, 14 replies)

I was going to say that the 'trolls' on this site were like the 'Black sheep' of b3ta...
cos that'd be well lol.
(The Magic Number is neither magic nor a number, Mon 24 Feb 2014, 16:21, 20 replies)

I once posted an image on /board that wasn't of a naked child.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 24 Feb 2014, 11:43, 10 replies)

I have a friend on the other side
We smile across the wire, but we never could decide on who was to be Abel and who was Cain - seven times sun, seven times rain.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 24 Feb 2014, 9:18, 19 replies)

Cousin Adrian
We haven't spoken to Cousin Adrian since Christmas 1997, when he talked throughout almost the entire Queen's Speech.
(se8card, Sun 23 Feb 2014, 23:47, 1 reply)

crystal palace
I went on a staff xmas do to black sheep bar in crystal palace many years ago. I burnt my hand on a candle, tried to chat up some girls, slurring words heavily and spitting when talking, and fell over some bin bags in the street outside. Then I was sick. Quite a lot. Then i started crawling home, until the police stopped me. 12 hours later i woke up in Dulwich police station with a hangover personally delivered by satan himself, and then walked home covered in bin juice and sick, crying a bit. The bar is closed down now, but I still shudder when i drive past the place... Baaa.
(bangthedrum, Sun 23 Feb 2014, 21:22, 7 replies)

Has anybody seen
Old Flap-Tits recently?
(Eukanuba, Sun 23 Feb 2014, 16:08, 1 reply)

Uncle Leland's hair turned white :(
Star Wars.
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sun 23 Feb 2014, 14:51, Reply)

Instead of saying 'alright' I've just started a thread on /offtopic that says 'Woss happenin'?' instead.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Sun 23 Feb 2014, 12:19, 10 replies)

"Violently assaulted" by a bunch of Tory boys.
A friends uncle was a mildly prominent local politician back in the day, local party chair, council leader and Lord Mayor a few times etc. A bit of a slightly racist "old school" populist career politician, but outwardly an upstanding respectable old bloke.

His son however, fell fairly far from the tree. He was the archetypal crack snorting, smack heading, drug dealing, lowlife. If it could be snorted, smoked, injected or conveniently inserted into his body he'd have a go. He successfully hid this behaviour from his parents for many years. When he found himself in hospital or the police station he'd spin a yarn about how he was just a victim or was being persecuted by people because of his fathers position and the stuck up old sod believed him for far too long.

Beaten up outside a McDonalds at 2am on a dodgy council estate? Some blokes didn't like the fact he was the Lord Mayors son. It had absolutely nothing to do with him trying to rob them of the crack he'd agreed to buy from them.

Violently attacked outside a pub and robbed of all the drugs he was trying to sell? What really happened was some Tory boys set about him because of a rude joke he told about Maggie Thatcher.

Forcefully ejected from a night club and lost a tooth when he hit the kerb? He was thrown out because the bouncer "was a unionist bastard" who was rather unhappy with his fathers policies as published in the local rag the week before. Not because he tried to do lines of coke off the bar top.

Eventually it all came out and he was disowned by his father. But not because of the lies he'd told, but because at some point he'd had a child out of wedlock. And yes, a large part of the unhappiness from his father was the fact the child was mixed race and therefore a literal "black sheep".

Happily the old man did change his mind eventually and is now involved in his grandsons life and a great deal less racist. He still doesn't speak or acknowledge the existence of his own son though, who's continued down the career path of professional George Best impersonator.
(danishbacon is haram yes?, Sun 23 Feb 2014, 2:08, 23 replies)

My cousin used to be the blackest of black sheep
He just loved the alcohol. Couldn't get enough. Drove drunk, and spent time in prison.

Then he decided to sweep out his attic.

It was a warm day, and he was wearing shorts as he drunkenly swept the dust. He lost his footing and fell down the steps. He landed on his feet, but as he fell, the broomstick snaked up his shorts. He was violently rammed through his anus by the broomstick, up to his diaphragm. There was an eight-hour delay getting medical attention, because of the absence of a visible wound. Colostomy, therapy, months of suffering.

So, he set aside the drink, went back to school, got a degree, landed a babe for a wife, and found inner peace.

The end.
(Perv With A Dog had his eyes pecked out by scrub jays on, Sat 22 Feb 2014, 11:12, 19 replies)

My family don't really have a black sheep to think of, however, whatever issues may arise are nothing to worry about compared to my friends uncle...
...an alcoholic smack head, who is currently residing in prison after an altercation with a man of similar class and stature. The outcome of this event was the uncle in question throwing a man out of a window several storeys up, then casually perambulating down to ground level to set the near lifeless body on fire, which he watched until the arrival of the police. Anyway, they shunned him because he moved to Aberdeen.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 22 Feb 2014, 10:25, 9 replies)

I had an uncle who strangled his wife to death.
in all fairness, she was a bit of a nag
( cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Sat 22 Feb 2014, 9:41, Reply)

Sympathy reply

( Zuowan, Sat 22 Feb 2014, 6:41, Reply)

I expect emvee was something of a black sheep, hence his dad abandoning him.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 21 Feb 2014, 18:43, 16 replies)

Mad Uncle Dave
He went to Mexico after Uni, did a load of drugs and came back a paranoid schizophrenic. Lovely bloke but prone to screaming outbursts in the middle of the night and caused a bit of a stir when he informed the police that the local pub owners were plotting a terrorist attack.
Also enjoyed telling filthy jokes, which I would repeat to my awed classmates aged 8.
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 21 Feb 2014, 17:14, 9 replies)

a cousin of mine is a dangerous nutcase
which the family didn't want to accept.
until she dragged her mum down the hall by her hair.
she got sectioned last week, so it's all good.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 21 Feb 2014, 14:45, 11 replies)

i smiled at a girl and she smiled back
do you think she likes me?
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 21 Feb 2014, 14:39, 20 replies)

SECOND
page?
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 21 Feb 2014, 14:38, Reply)