All too true, unfortunately
The only thing that's common about common sense is that it's not common.
(KipperMinge has been watching out for the penguins since, Wed 22 Oct 2008, 10:42, Reply)

Maybe not common, maybe just sad.
But I stopped into a Tesco Express on my way home from work, only to find a gaggle of hoodrats in the queue in front of me, in their sweaty little palms clutched packets of pro-plus, the caffeine tablets with about the same strength as half an espresso.

I can only imagine they thought it to be some sort of legal substitute for speed.
(Tyburn Finds the name Lauren Muff inexplicably funny, Wed 22 Oct 2008, 10:29, 2 replies)

wow lot of posts this week. Group of teenage chavvy kids getting on my bus and think its cool to make fun at every old person on the bus then play their music full blast.
Also i`m deaf and some people when asked to repeat themselves feel they need to talk slowly and loudly back to me well i`m not retarded just say it again in exactly the same way.
(Nahla, Wed 22 Oct 2008, 9:42, 11 replies)

Saturday night in Amble
Amble’s an… interesting place. I know a few people that live there, and they love it, coming from long lines of seafarers and fishermen.

But Saturday night in Amble… it’s a special occasion. The people of the town love their Saturday nights on the piss. The local chavs, in particular, like to make a special effort. Not for them trainers and tracksuits tucked into socks, oh no.

On Saturday nights, they wear proper shoes with their tracksuits.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 22 Oct 2008, 9:24, 6 replies)

You can have water at home...
Babymum was in the supermarket, and a young mother and daughter behind her had this conversation...

Daughter: Mum, can I have a drink please?
Mum: Yes love, go and get one
Daughter: Can I have this water?
Mum: NO! Get a coke, you can have water at home!

Common? Maybe. Irrefutable logic? certainly.
(babydad, Wed 22 Oct 2008, 8:05, 10 replies)

Don't try to bum common men
Well I was on Red Hot Pie looking for hot ladies but they must have all been busy because I ended up being contacted by Dennis. Anyway we went down into the bushes near the river and I tried pretty hard to bum him but I just couldn't mainly because he was a ginger who had dyed his hair black and that he had a freckly bum and he was old. Anyway I was working away behind him as he supported himself on the open door of his work truck. Then he began to feverishly jack off his tockley and finally ejaculated a small load on the ground. He then stood up wiped his tockley and freckly arse with an old red t shirt then handed it to me to wipe off my bits. He then said he'd catch up with me on line put his big work boots on and drove off in his work truck. Do you not think his departure was somewhat abrupt and common?
(rodgerroop, Wed 22 Oct 2008, 4:01, Reply)

Ragnhildur Steinunn Jónsdóttir
in the Britain Frozen Foods commercials.

Actually, I've not a clue. I just assumed there's a frozen-foods retail chain in Iceland called "Britain" and some Icelandic entity says:

"þessi er hvers vegna Móðir hefur til Bretland"
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Wed 22 Oct 2008, 2:16, 5 replies)

I don't know about common
but I get called posh for enunciating and pronouncing words correctly. Infuriating.

I'm from Coventry, I'm not posh!
(Ethong is enjoying Cardiff. Especially Bogiez., Wed 22 Oct 2008, 1:06, 2 replies)

like
I dont know if anyones found this in their neck of the woods. But poeple who tag on the word "like" to the end of sentences really want me to stab their eyes out with pitch forks.

"Have you tried one of those like?"
"What are you doing like?"
"Giz'us a try like!"


Why? Why? Why does this need tagging on? Its something im associating with the lower end of the class structure. Ie common!
(Miggyman, Tue 21 Oct 2008, 23:54, 4 replies)

Use your lungs.
I'm deaf, which means I can't hear but I can damn well use my mind. I use American Sign Language and it pisses me off when other deaf people fingerspell "LOL" out rather than actually laugh.

I'll chop your hands off, puree them, and feed your babies your hands, fucktards. You'll see me laughing.
(yourworldwontcollapse reminds you, it isn't incest after second cousins!, Tue 21 Oct 2008, 23:46, 3 replies)

The Kerry Katona Iceland Adverts
arrrgghhh
(zero.coke, Tue 21 Oct 2008, 23:43, 2 replies)

Mobile phone conversation overheard by me on the train.
"Fuck off! You'll fucking meet me at fucking McDonalds. I'm not paying Burger King prices."

Delightful.
(Door frames, Tue 21 Oct 2008, 23:16, 1 reply)

this is very common
www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1079262/The-mother-gets-13-year-old-behave--giving-cigarettes.html

stupid bitch.
( sarah sarah sarah, Tue 21 Oct 2008, 23:07, 11 replies)

Greencloud's Playboy themed funeral post below
reminded me of this: news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/northern_ireland/6411571.stm


Ignore the story and look at the pics. Advertising your 8 year old's name on her bedroom window with a Playboy decal?

Both common and scarily inappropriate.
(posthumous mince is tiptoeing through the tulips, Tue 21 Oct 2008, 22:38, Reply)

i have previously mentioned 1stmrsblaireausfatherswhore...

in a previous post (please forgive my luddite nature and lack of ability in the cyberworld so i has did no linkyting) i made reference to the mistress of the father of my first/previous wife, and a rather unfortunate and feral outburst of which i was the rather drunk and stunned victim...

the woman in question (carol is her name) was thoroughly pissed and thoroughly pissed-off at me as i was able to remain cogent and lucid in the face of alcohol and heavy emotion (the presence of myself and the daughter of her partner... my wife).

she screamed at me...in her glorious Ashington accent..."well, ahhh divint haarv thu benifit uv ahhh yoonivorsitee ehdyukayshun"

and i replied that i didn't either, but i had dropped out of poli twice...






now that's what i call common!
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Tue 21 Oct 2008, 22:35, 2 replies)

What's all too common
is people using this QOTW to slag people off. While the genuine lazy, dole scrounging, jeremy Kyle type scum do really bother me, it's not really fair to slag people off because they have a different accent to you, or are poorer than you, or for where they live. Being poor doesn't make you common. I have some lovely friends who live on council estates, who go to work, whose children are impeccably behaved and who are just lovely all round decent members of society!

I thought QOTW was supposed to be a place to recount your amusing anectotes to lighten the mood of the reader, I haven't seen much in the way of funny this week, just nastiness and abuse.

Bring on Thursday, lets get some humor back in here!

Edit: Go the QOTW suggestions and click my suggestion to bring back the funnies!
(leglesss let that be a lesson to you, Tue 21 Oct 2008, 22:07, 6 replies)

toilets
My mate used to be able to squeeze his penis, strain hard and actually get his piss to hit the ceiling.

Were we common? No, we were both six at the time and it was quite possibly the funniest thing I had ever seen.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Tue 21 Oct 2008, 21:52, 1 reply)

Get the words right and the pennies will look after themselves.
I'm fairly laid back and not much gets me on my high horse, but I do have a thing about multiple mis-pronunciations in the same sentence, viz : "the skellington ekscaped up the chimbley."
( dogzero, Tue 21 Oct 2008, 21:52, 4 replies)

just thought of one
Rough-looking tramp-stamped mothers are bad enough. Shouting and swearing at their kids in public is worse, however, rather than saying. "If you don't behave, I'm gunna smack your arse", I heard earlier,

"If you don't stobbit, I'll knock you out in a minute"...

to her 9yo daughter.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Tue 21 Oct 2008, 21:42, Reply)

Nooogar and kagooool
Yes, I know that's the proper way to pronounce them, but nuggit and kaggle just sound better. If you think that makes me common, fuck off and catch on fire.
(GONEism, Tue 21 Oct 2008, 21:30, 5 replies)

Glasgow's illustreous St Enoch Centre
My cousin is a big deal in Education and Social Welfare. Despite this he is a bit of a scruffy bastard in his spare time. Whilst in my late teens he (dressed in torn jeans and a scabby old fleece) and myself were in Glasgow. During our time in town he decides that the gem of Glasgow's shopping delights, the St Enoch Centre would be his destination. Not because he wanted to browse the many neddy (chavvy) shops or partake in the bakery feast that is Greggs. No! He is was going there because, at the time, the public toilets were still free to use. So, every £50000 pa earning fibre in him jogs up the stairs for a free piss. A couple of minutes pass and he comes back down again and announces (nay, bellows) in his finest upper crust high society accent, "Come young OTT let us leave, the....smell of poor people is overwhelming me"

Made me laugh......

First post, cherry, pop, b3ta, merkins, binduns, rachelswipe etceteras.

PS, nice to be here
(OTT, Tue 21 Oct 2008, 21:26, 2 replies)

Common, moi?
Two eight year olds at my school, talking during breakfast club

' I don't care what your mum says, my mum says it's common when you don't cut your toast in half"

Out of the mouths of babes..............

(First post, aged 53 and a third)
( The Lone Groover has mal des nuts., Tue 21 Oct 2008, 21:22, 2 replies)

Double whammy...
...adding ketchup to baked beans.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 21 Oct 2008, 21:19, 3 replies)

You want "common"?
I have a criminal defendant named Porshena Unique. Tell me that isn't a chav.
( flirting with badgers What? It sounded good at the time., Tue 21 Oct 2008, 21:12, 6 replies)

An (unintentional?) common Australian habit...
...when the Pakistanis are playing Australia at cricket:
It's common (in more than one sense of the word) for sports commentators, newsreaders, other media, etc to refer to the Pakistani team as "The Pakis".

Makes me cringe every time I hear it...when I lived in the UK I seem to remember that the word "Paki" was considered racist.
I'm sure it still is?
(emadex thinks the world will end on, Tue 21 Oct 2008, 20:50, 25 replies)

the sweaty bum crack...
that is Shepherd's Bush Green.

In particular the bus stop on one corner of it which is the hangout of choice for discerning crackheads and/or alcoholics, where not once but twice I have been asked to part with my cash pounds for sex.

One was a withered-up, haggard, toothless old bint who seemed quite upset when I said no and asked me if I was gay.

Yeah, cos that's the only reason a - ahem - young man in his prime would turn down the opportunity to go within a country mile of your (presumably) withered-up, haggard old lady bits, ffs.

The second was by a somewhat younger, but similarly toothless, alchie who thought she'd chance her arm at making a quick buck.

Shepherd's Bush Green - it makes my nose wrinkle up, and not just cos of the smell.
( nightbuffalo needs more duct tape, Tue 21 Oct 2008, 20:10, 1 reply)

CHAVS!
ok, lets face it, these are the most hated 'lifeform' in the UK, but I want to hear your stories and experiences which these uneducated folk my fellow B3tians..

when I was at uni, I lived in student accomadation with 4 other people, one of them happened to be a chavvy guy (who didnt actually make it through the year afterall), he was always inviting his chav mates round, to be fair they were quite reasonable people, but they did come out with some pretty stupid comments.

Ill give you an example..

I recently come back from download festival...

’hey Phill, wots that on ur wrist?’
’oh, its a wristband for download festival’
’cool, was it good?’
’yea it was awesome’
’man I wanna go 2 1 of them festivals, take shitloads of acid n pills n get off with some hippy chick in the middle of field ’

*sigh*

A, 'hippies' dont go to download festival
B, even if they did, I doubt very seriously that they would ever 'get off' with you, even if they were under the influence...

I cryed a lil inside...
(Lord Chode, Tue 21 Oct 2008, 20:01, 3 replies)

Baffling pronunciation
My Grandmother pronounced launch (as in boat launch),'larnch'. We didn't question it, as any reference to how a person chooses to speak would also have been seen as irretrievably common.

She also refused to say the words lunch and fiancee.
(picmaestress, Tue 21 Oct 2008, 19:42, 1 reply)

overheard recently...
two young chavettes, in full uniform - scrapeback ponytail, track suit, sovereign rings, both pushing prams - as I walked past I heard one say to the other -

"awww...............................is he swearing yet?"
(Lionel Tiger, Tue 21 Oct 2008, 19:25, 1 reply)