Toasters - all of them
I am now on my fourth toaster in two years (after the last one, the most expensive so far, spectacularly exploded), because I can't find one that is correctly sized to fit the bread.

They all seem to toast just the lower three-quarters of the slice. So you have to turn the bread over and toast it again, risking over-doing the middle.

I mean, SURELY when you're designing a toaster, the starting point is to get a standard, normal-sized slice of bread and build the machine around those dimensions? Apparently that hasn't occurred to anyone so far.
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 16:48, 25 replies)

put the bread in sideways

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 16:50, closed)

I would love it so much
if that really was the problem.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 16:57, closed)

it's what i do
works a treat
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 17:00, closed)

Me too
But I just love the idea of Moon Monkey getting irate at the toaster because it never occured to him that it was designed for the bread to go in sideways.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 17:02, closed)

better than my mate's toaster
she had to shove a trowel down the side to get the lever to hold down
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 17:08, closed)

Sorry, doesn't work
Since normal sliced bread is not far off square, you still get an untoasted strip along one side.

And on some toasters, putting it in sideways means that it jams when it tries to pop up. Because the designers apparently haven't ever seen any actual bread.
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 17:02, closed)

Don't spoil my fun.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 17:02, closed)

works on kingsmill really seeded

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 17:08, closed)

My toaster...
(4 slice jobbie), will take 1 slice upright and 1 sideways - and THAT'S sometimes liable to jam when done.
( snee held his breath since, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 8:30, closed)

Oooo you've just reminded me of what I'm up to this weekend - breadmaking! Hurrah!
I've decided to become a Master Baker, to justify what children call me.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 16:51, closed)

get some sourdough going
it's loverly
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 16:52, closed)

Mrs Vagabond wants me to make soda bread
but I find it a little heavy.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 16:53, closed)

use the grill

( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 16:56, closed)

Only does one side - so you still have to turn it over
...which is my main complaint.
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 17:03, closed)

I'm 100% with you on this ...
I've been wondering for years now why toasters are so crap. Step one: Cut about 1/4 of the slice off and discard. Step two: Eject and turn bread to prevent burning on one side and undertoasting on the other. Step three: Turn bread 90 degrees to ensure optimum toasting. Step four: Eat toast with under done and soft edges. Step five: Curse shite toaster.
( Ramsay Tupper, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 17:02, closed)

Thank you for your support
...and I'll think of you whenever I wear it.

The expensive (exploding) toaster was specifically chosen because it appeared to be larger and hopefully covered more area with toasty goodness. But no such luck. Not only did it leave the same raw strip along the top, it also ejected the toast onto the floor. I used to amuse the kids by placing a plate in the right position to catch the bread when it landed...
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 17:05, closed)

Jack Dee has quite a good theory about who designs toasters:
disgruntled engineering students:

"I did four years at university studying electronics, and you want me to make a toaster? I'll give you a fucking toaster ... "
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 17:24, closed)

Rule 1 of toasters
The better it looks the worse it will perform. Hmmm. I've met women like that . . .
(The Jannie, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 18:23, closed)

Clicky
Clicky clicky clicky. So true.
(WillI'mNot logs in twice a year, every year, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 22:09, closed)

Happy Toaster. :C)
We have a toaster. My father-in-law gave it to us. It's from the 1940's and is chrome with a corded thread and bakelite plug. It works beautifully. Perfect toast and looks great too. It's nice when you have things from a time when they made things to last. Old stuff is the best.
(Woofie, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 20:14, closed)

I'm happy with my Morphy Richards 4 slot
...but then I mostly prefer crumpets.
(IHateSprouts is baking a huge pie shaped like an enormous pie, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 21:06, closed)

We've got a Dualit something or other
It takes a full slice of Warburtons Toasty. That'll do me.
( shadyron, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 0:13, closed)

We have Delongi
I call it the Too-Longi. Had a Breville before, which was a quite good. until it broke.
(Nitrous Nitrous, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 0:27, closed)

I can only suggest a
Flamethrower while the bread is spinning from the clothes line.
( jakedamusss I understand, and dont care., Fri 30 Sep 2011, 5:27, closed)

Toaster dimensions
Like all things now made in Asia, esp. China, toasters are designed to a size to fit the most boxed products into a shipping container*. If they made them big enough for real bread, they would cost 20% more to make and to ship, losing profit. Profit was the whole reason for shifting the factories there in the first place. Thanks, capitalism!
*Length : 8,10,20 & 40 foot long, you have a choice.
(Classic Ray, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 5:29, closed)