They say never meet your heroes!
Apologies if this is boring I don’t usually post much but a couple of years back I was lucky enough to be invited to play at one of those golfing “Pro-Am’s” (for those that don’t know what that is, it’s where you get to play a round of golf with a Professional golfer and some “celebrity/sporting types” which is all in aid for a good cause.

Anyway it turned out I was teeing off with a certain football player who not only was playing for the team I’ve supported since I was a boy but has also captained his country.

I’d like to point out at this juncture that I don’t usually get star struck and I think the whole celebrity thing is rubbish but I have to admit I was behaving like a love struck little girl for the entire week leading up to this. (Hangs head in shame)

So let’s cut to the day and I’m at the course nice and early, and it’s all going well. I’ve met the pro in our team and he’s nice and relaxed and talking us through the first few holes with a few tips. BUT then Mr. Footballer arrives in tow with his wife and my god doesn’t it start to go downhill quickly. Me being just a “normal” person he didn’t want to shake hands or introduce himself and I’m sure his first words to the group where “who’s getting me a drink then?” Nice.

Over the next 4 hours he complained and moaned about everything. The course isn’t right, his clubs are shit, he doesn’t like the weather, he’s pissed off about having to do this shit on his day off etc. etc. And believe me when I say that this was just so relentless I gave up talking to him after the 12th hole as I was starting to think about cracking him round the head with my putter and burying him in one of the bunkers.

Meanwhile the wife’s behind us, following in a golf buggy shouting such pearls of wisdom as “hurry up” and that “she’s bored” which got me thinking that I should be looking for the hidden camera’s as maybe “Beadles About” was making a come back?

After the golf’s all finished we where seated for dinner where he spent the entire time on his mobile talking loudly and shoveling his dinner down him like his life depended on it. Thankfully he left pretty much straight after the last mouthful of food had been swallowed and walking to door managed a last final insult of dismissing one of the main organisers of the day who was coming over to foolishly think he might like to stay and offer some help with the prize giving.

So in summary that’s pretty much as disappointed as I’ve ever been but maybe I was a fool to think I guy who gets paid £100,000 a week to kick a football around would be down to earth and half decent. ;)

(And his name wasn’t David before someone asks!)

Phew, that took me ages!
(sewer urchin wants a hug, Thu 26 Jun 2008, 17:55, 6 replies)

I was offered a £50,000 job in a town in Norfolk.
That was my biggest Diss appointment.
( idonthaveafunnynickname Drink-Aware? Sure. I'm aware I want another drink., Thu 26 Jun 2008, 17:52, Reply)

Downloading my first porn film.
This happened in the heady days when the reassuring bleep,blub blub....bleeeeeep of your dial tone let you know you were finally connected to the internet. I had heard mention of a site called Kazaa where one could obtain porn videos. Through some miracle of technological development, that ranked possibly only second to the moon landing, you were able to download this video from many different people at once so that the download speed would be like nothing you had seen before. I duly downloaded and installed kazaa and searched for a video with the word 'sex' in the title and I was not disappointed. I clicked on the "download torrent now" button with an earnest glee. I then began to wait, and wait...and wait...and wait...

Now given that the only reason I able to do this was because my girlfriend was out the house I was getting somewhat agitated at the speed of the download - I needed this to be done before she got home. I didn't want this momentous occasion to be ruined, but it was taking ages!

About 3½ hrs after starting the whole procedure the file was finally sitting in my downloads section. I clicked and windows media player spluttered into life as the image of a naked woman appeared across my screen. I noted the video was 2 minutes long which at that point was exactly 2 minutes longer than anything I had ever downloaded before.

About 30 seconds in and things were really hotting up when suddenly the monitor just went dead. Some obscure force had decided that today was not to be the day I was going to watch my first downloaded porn film. I recall the image just disappearing into a vortex of colour in the middle of the screen and finally exiting this world with the brightest ever dot of white light that glimmered ever so slightly brighter just before it went completely black. It was like my first porn download had just died and I had witnessed its trajectory down the tunnel of death.

Ok, stay calm,there's probably a logical explanation to all of this. There's probably been a power failure. A quick glance over to my bedside clock revealed this theory to be unfounded. I turned the PC on again at the front, but nothing. I checked all the fuses in the plugs, I checked all the cables. Everything was fruitless.

After much faffing around and a 30 minute conversation to tech support (my brother) I admitted defeat. I ended up having to buy a new hard drive. My first porn download had been a dismal failure.
(The Archduke of South London I'm in your Girlfriend eating her organs, Thu 26 Jun 2008, 17:51, 1 reply)

Honolulu
Part of my honeymoon trip included Honolulu and was a complete and utter waste of time and money.

Honolulu is shit. Imagine Blackpool with a slight makeover and better weather, stuff it full of oversized sunburned yanks and frankly demented Japanese tourists, make the food more disgusting, and you have a pale imitation of the living hell that is Honolulu.

We had to spend New Year there, lots of crowds and excitement and sparkly things for the build-up to midnight and suddenly, at 12:15 there's just me and the Mrs standing there, slowly realising that yes, that was it!

Thankfully the rest of the trip, to Fiji and New Zealand, was brilliant.
( MisterPunch did it that way on, Thu 26 Jun 2008, 17:51, 2 replies)

Chillies. I love 'em.
Of all varieties, but generally, the hotter the better. In pretty much any dish you can imagine.
Thing is, I love chillies, but they don't love me- in fact I can often be seen screaming like a demented banshee and running for the sanctuary of the WC, clutching my lower stomach, in a feeble attempt to stop the burning knives.

So, chillies are seriously restricted now, and this, sadly, is my biggest disappointment.

Oh, and getting jiggy in a swimming pool- sooo overrated. Nuff said.
(woodkat loves comic sans, Thu 26 Jun 2008, 17:49, 5 replies)

Marihuana.
I’ve always been very scared about drugs. I’m a very week person, and I think that if I try a drug and I like it, I won't be able to stop myself. I have enough with my beer (quite a lot), a bit of vodka some weekends and sangría from time to time.

That’s it. I’m now 28, and never tried any drug, and never wanted to. Until 2 weekends ago. We went to Amsterdam, you see, and we ended up in one of this “bars” where naked ladies serve you as much alcohol as you want for 1 hour. I left feeling happy and didn’t want to go back home.

Then my friend made a joke. He knows I don’t like drugs, and I’ve recommended him not to do them anymore; so he proposed to go to a coffee shop and have one of those special biscuits. He thought I’d get upset, but I was feeling good, so I said yes, let’s go, but no for biscuits. I want to try smoking.

We both were very excited. He explained to me with a lot of detailed how I had to do it, and I tried. Awful. It burned my throat. I had to drink a lot. But I wasn’t going to be defeated. I wanted to know how everybody feels and why people like it so much, so I tried again, and again, and again.

It did nothing to me. Well, not completely true. I laughed a lot for a while. So much that I looked as if I was crying and people in the train station looked at him very worried as if he had done something very bad to that poor girl. But after 5 min, nothing else. Nothing at all.

I don’t know why people get so excited about it.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 26 Jun 2008, 17:48, 6 replies)

I wish I could say that my biggest disappointment was men.
But to be honest I kind of knew from an early age that they would disappoint me.

I was very lucky in that respect.
( girlinthehole, Thu 26 Jun 2008, 17:42, 7 replies)

Empire Estate building, NYC
You queue in queues for queues, then in more queues while "Tony the Taxi driver" taunts you about how "you're in my city now", and wanky entirely fake staff big up how amazing it is at the top over a loud speaker, trying to sell you the headset for a bargain $10 or whatever...all this while just queueing, wondering how many more fucking corners there'll be, and how much harder they're gonna milk Tony the Taxi driver for.

When you finally get up there, literally and with any exaggeration, 3 hours later of just standing in various corridors, it dawns on you how badly you've just been scammed as IT'S JUST A FUCKING BUILDING!

They even put hardcore fencing up so you can't kill yourself (like you'd really wait in-line 3 hours for that), thus spoiling the view anyway.

So, we took the mandatory pictures, cursed the place a few times, and fucked off utterly utterly disappointed. Tony can fuck off and die if you ask me.

Length was hours.
( slippery doctore, Thu 26 Jun 2008, 17:36, 8 replies)

Top tip
To avoid disappointment in your life, believe that everything and everyone is fundamentally shit.

That way you are only ever pleasantly suprised.
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Thu 26 Jun 2008, 17:34, 7 replies)

Getting to third base..
The movies told me it would be like putting my fingers in warm apple pie..

In reality it was like putting my fingers in a hairy, tepid fish pie.

And it took ages to get the smell off my fingers.
(mejt, Thu 26 Jun 2008, 17:23, 10 replies)

The
biggest dissapointment in my life was when i turned up for work with this lot
( ogwen69 has returned from Reddit, Thu 26 Jun 2008, 17:22, 13 replies)

My first time with LSD.
I was at a mates house when I was handed a little square of paper and I giggled as I popped it into my mouth. God I was nervous. I was in my late twenties but felt like a schoolgirl taking her first sip of alcohol. We sat around and chatted and listened to music while waiting for the effects to start.

I waited
And waited

After a while my friends started to giggle and look sheepish, like they were hiding something from me. Their eyes widened and their grins widened. Me, nothing, nada, zilch.

I waited
And waited
And waited some more.

Still nothing. No spazzy light effects, no giggling at something as innocuous as a pencil sharpener. No tingles, no Mickey Mouse popping up from behind the sofa. My friends were off their fricking trollies but I was as sober and sensible as Sunday school teacher and all my marbles were intact and accounted for.

Being a sensible girl I didn't take the advice of popping another one. God knows what would have happened if they had both come up together.

Well I waited all evening and night for the effects to take hold but absolutely nothing happened. I had the pleasure of sitting there and watching my mates being sillier than a two year old who's drunk too much fizzy pop.

Well I know I'm not immune to LSD as I've taken it since then and being twatted but how in hell did it not effect me the first time.

An even bigger disappointment was that having finally experienced a 'trip', I found that I hated it.
( girlinthehole, Thu 26 Jun 2008, 17:17, 8 replies)

Every Birthday Since I've Been Married
There is always some 'reason' why my birthdays, since I've been married have been gash. And the reason? My Wife.

In the last 6 years, gifts and nights out have included....

A skateboard (I'm in my mid 30's) - the reason? 'Oh, you stopped for a second on that sports channel where they show people on skateboards'

A curry, bought from a supermarket (you know the ones, take 'em home, re-heat them). Rather than taking me out for a curry (that I was paying for) because, 'I don't want to miss Mid Somer Murders

One of those crappy robot things that were all the rage (you were suppose to be able to train them or something), what the feck does an adult want with a toy geared towards a 5 year old?

Sending me home 'early' from the pub so she could go and meet up with some of her friends. (I've still got my doubts as to where she really went).

Suggesting that 'we ought to not spend money on each other for birthdays because it gets expensive' (A few months after I'd shelled out a small fortune on things for her).

Anyway, the last laugh won't be on me, she doesn't know it yet, but I've been secretly stashing some cash away, and, once I've got enough, I'll be off.

Then I'll be able to say that my biggest dissapointment was being married for 6 years to a selfish bint who took with one hand and flicked me a constant V sign with the other.

I hate my life.

Mullered.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 26 Jun 2008, 17:07, 19 replies)

New Children's TV.....
....particularly CBBC.

Me daughter's about 15 and 1/2 months old now and has started to watch kids telly. Being a shift-working parent, in the afternoons I go home and have begun to join in with this event, which should be a joyous, learning and rewarding experience for the toddler/parent.

What an utter pile of steaming tripe they stick on nowadays.

Tweenies - 4+ guys in suits pretending to be kids and one of them crying alot. Fuck, that's depressing. Some of them try to sing songs but it doesn't hide the pain.

Big Cook Little Cook - god, Gordon Ramsey would have a field day in this place. No playing in the kitchen for starters. Secondly, no fecking midgets either. What the fuck is this, a circus? Plus those meals, I wouldn't serve them to the disabled.

Into The Night Garden - what the shuddering fuck is meant to be taught to kids who watch this, other than drugs are good? "So, his name is Iggle-Pi...ggle, Iggle Iggle Iggle Iggle Pi...ggle..." And?

Clifford the Big Red Dog - oh great, now my daughter will think that if she "loves" a dog enough, he will grow 17 foot tall. He might if you give him 16 gallons of Baby Bio, or just die. Let's try on a puppy shall we?

Lazytown - me daughter watches this and immediately stands up and starts dancing. I'm getting tired just watching that cunt in blue. Although that girl in pink looks hot.... hmmmm.... errr anyways, all I can make of this is that me daughter will now believe that every adult should be able to somersault down the road just to get a paper or handstand walk the dog etc...sorry luv, daddy's a fat cunt.

No wonder we're a country of idiots.
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Thu 26 Jun 2008, 17:06, 14 replies)

My Biggest Disappointment
Is my life !

At primary school, I was always one of the brightest and my mother always thought I was destined for greater things.

Somewhere along the line (probably around the time I discovered that beer and women are better than college). I've seen schoolmates who could barely hold a pen do better in life than I have.

All I have to show in my 41 years is a messy, expensive divorce and a family I mostly avoid. I'm in a job I enjoy but has no prospects.
I'm lazy, I don't eat properly, I can't afford to buy a house and I have cheated on the best girlfriend I have ever had.

I think I need to make some life changes.

Plus points are I can easily drink all my friends under the table, i'm very good at Counterstrike and my girlfriend doesn't and won't know I cheated on her.

Not enough is it ?
(bluetuba has a special friend in Blue Label Smirnoff, Thu 26 Jun 2008, 17:06, 4 replies)

Irish Guinness.
Not a huge disappointment as such, because it is delicious. But, it didn't taste THAT much better than the stuff served in England, as I had been enthusiastically promised it would, just a bit more metallic is all. Maybe something to do with the water...

Anyway, I had to drink many pints just to make sure and it still made me sing loudly and fall over, which is really all that matters!
(Dr. Scambolic, Thu 26 Jun 2008, 16:58, 7 replies)

my parents
sharon and dave. generous, doting, or were they? all i ever wanted was a ballerina barbie, in her pretty pink tutu. my birthday. i was 10, and do you know what they got me? malibu barbie! that's not what i wanted! that wasn't who i was! i was a ballerina! graceful, delicate!

they had to go.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 26 Jun 2008, 16:56, 10 replies)

Having a threesome with 2 ladies
Who am I kidding..

It was FUCKING MAGIC !

Have that Paul Daniels you cock jockey.
(TheRiddler Hmmmmm... I concur., Thu 26 Jun 2008, 16:51, 1 reply)

"I wouldn't have been in such a hurry to grow up if I'd known it was all going to be ad-libbed."
Calvin's dad was a wise man.

You know how when you're a kid you can't wait to grow up because then you'll be allowed to do all the rillyrilly kewl stuff like drive and shoot guns and drink the stuff in those kewl bottles?

Yeah. I remember that too.

For many years I've been working hard at getting to some point at which life will click for me. In fact, I'd say that I've spent about 45 years doing that. We work our asses off to get through school so we can get money, we get into our careers and work our asses off to get to the point where we earn enough for a house and a car, we get them and then work our asses off to make enough to retire on besides. We look at the people around us who are our peers and see so many of them going along and becoming executives and whatnot, getting all the stuff we wish we had, and wonder what the fuck we're doing wrong. Maybe if I just do this I'll get ahead, we all think...

I'll let you in on a little secret.

Mom and Dad made it look so easy as they sailed confidently through life, didn't they? And yet as an adult you find out that they struggled just as hard as we do now. The neighbor who's an executive? He's mortgaged to the hilt. If he gets shitcanned, he loses everything inside of two months. The people who have their life planned out at 18 and then follow through on all of it? By my age they've either cracked and gone tits up, or they're screwing someone twenty years younger and riding a motorcycle.

So you know what I say to those people who tell their teenagers that they need to find a sensible solid career and stick with it all their lives so they'll get ahead?

FUCK. THAT. SHIT.

Us grown ups don't know what we're doing half the time. We really don't. Anyone who tells you otherwise is either deluded beyond repair or lying through their clenched smiling teeth.

Experiment, people. Try things. Take a shot at acting if you want. Take that occasional day to go play on rocks in the river. Write a book. Dye your hair green. Just remember to have some sort of back-up plan in case things don't work out, and don't gamble more than you can afford to lose.

Otherwise when you get into your forties you'll be disappointed by adulthood.

(Shit, I should have posted this last week... ah well, it still applies here.)
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Thu 26 Jun 2008, 16:48, 14 replies)

I'm Moving This Weekend...
And it's turning out to be bloody disappointing. Things that have gone wrong so far include:

- Mr Tufty (who I'm moving in with) has an abcess under his tooth, so he's worse than a bear with rabies.
- I've managed to get either RSI or tendonitus or somesuch in my right hand which means that lifting anything, typing and even moving it too fast is extremely painful. Which is a pain in the arse, me being righthanded and whatnot.
- I *still* haven't finished packing, and I'm moving in two days.

And the reactions to the news I'm leaving my friends and family leave much to be desired... No "come and get pissed with us one last time" invites and all I've had from my parents so far is "you want to make sure your room is clean before you go".

So I'm moving 130 miles to live with a very angry and in-pain Englishman, I can't use my right hand properly, I haven't had any drink offers and I get the feeling I won't be missed as much as I hoped I would.

Oh, and I have no money. And I'm forbidden from torrenting anything when I get there. :(

This was *not* how I envisaged my first proper voyage into independance...

Apologies for length? Nope. :)
(TuftyBee should have been working on, Thu 26 Jun 2008, 16:46, Reply)

New York Hot Dogs
Repeatedly hyped on American TV shows set in New York. A below everage sausage in the worst bread ever.
(Richy_T hundreds if not thousands of dollars, Thu 26 Jun 2008, 16:42, 4 replies)

Dirty weekend? That's what you think, mate!
Myself and the lovely sweary one have been together just over 5 years. As many will know, she has a son – Sweary Junior. Childcare is provided by her parents, SJ’s father being completely out of the picture (and frankly, dropping SJ in Greece before we head out for a few drinks is impractical, not to say expensive). And on holiday, it’s a case of sharing the same room to cut costs, and therefore there’s very little opportunity (if at all) for some ‘quality time’.

It’s only recently that Tourettes and myself have started not only having nights out, but nights away. Sometimes two nights. With friends, and without the presence of children. It’s lovely. Bliss. A chance to be adults, to swear and belch and drink and generally behave deplorably in the company of like-minded people. As I said, bliss.

However, these forays to cities far away usually end up being tinged with disappointment. Why? Well, somehow, we always seem to manage to time them just as Tourettes goes ‘off the road’, so to speak, usually with absolutely no warning at all. It’s as if her cycle deliberately sticks its fingers up at us and pokes its tongue out and says “I think I’ll be early this month”. Our last trip to Edinburgh only a few weeks ago was a case in point. Sitting in the Scotsman’s lounge, she popped to the toilet. She was gone a while, and when she came back she didn’t look happy.

“What’s up?” I asked.

“You’re not going to believe this”, she fumed, “but I’m up on blocks. Every fucking time we go away somewhere this happens…”

So, over five years together, and we’ve still never managed to have a dirty weekend. Bastard.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 26 Jun 2008, 16:34, 17 replies)

People are funny fuckers
Meh.

We've got a holiday home (it's swings and roundabouts, and we're oldish, married late, had a house each before we meet - so going to croak before most of you lot).

We've taken people there for free, gratis, and come back to find they've called us 'takers'. Wtf?

I leant a friend £400 for an abortion (I was not the father!) and she took over a year to pay back, in the interim went on holiday, bought a new sofa, etc.. and moaned when I asked her for it.

Hired a "mate" as a plumber and he nicked a pron vid from the video as well as leaving soot all over the house.

Left someone keys to feed our cats, they stole a couple of oz and didn't feed the cats.

So it's people that disappoint me. I've got better at picking the good eggs not bad apples, but sometimes, just sometimes, I wonder..

HAVE I GOT CUNTING MUG WRITTEN ACROSS MY CUNTING FOREHEAD OR SOMETHING?

(checks back of jacket for 'kick me' post it note)

No fucking justice in this world I tells ya. Sigh.
(Countryslicker, Thu 26 Jun 2008, 16:29, 5 replies)

Insulted by a TV celebrity
The last time I was out on the lash in Leeds, my friends and I somehow had the dubious privilege of ending up in the VIP room at Tiger Tiger with none other than Ms Jade Goody, of Big Brother fame. Being somewhat off his trolley, my mate Carl decided it would be hilarious to shout out words to the effect that said Ms Goody wasn't the greatest looking nor most slender girl in the world. Unfortunately for me she didn't look round in time to fully identify her heckler, and, thinking it was me, yelled back "Oh yeah, how would you like it if I came round to you house and told you you were an ugly twat?!" Rather than protesting my innocence, I somewhat confusedly retorted "I'd love it, how about tomorrow night?". So that would be my big arsed diss appointment.
(Vice Admiral Sir Charles Cockbrush KCB MBE DSO, who is finding it increasingly difficult to log into b3ta.com wants to duck your aunt and kick your puppy, Thu 26 Jun 2008, 16:29, Reply)

This time it's war
Every Alien film since the second (fantastic) one.

apols for lack of depth...
( calgacus Non sum qualis eram bonae sub regno Cynarae, Thu 26 Jun 2008, 16:28, 8 replies)

England.
Semi final. Penalty shoot-out. Everytime. Useless feckers.
(Dr. Scambolic, Thu 26 Jun 2008, 16:24, 5 replies)

Cura heat packs
I fell over and destroyed my lower back yesterday morning, so have been stumbling around like a cripple in between lying down and moaning since then. I struggled into work yesterday, drugged up to the eyeballs on some American 'super strength pain destroyer' or whatever it was called, but after a couple of hours I started shaking, and slowly getting shorter as my back tensed up.

So I shuffled off to Boots, and the lady pharmacist gave me some even stronger painkillers, and recommended some heat packs. I forked out the cash, downed a couple of pills, and struggled home, reading the bak of the packet of heat pads.

'May cause burns'
'Maximum heat may be painful'
'Do not touch with bare skin'
were some of the warnings.
whimpering in pain, I put one of the packs on my back, and lay in bed trying to relax, and thinking how nice a hot pad on the painful region would feel.

After 30 minutes, when it would have reached its maximum heat, I realised I couldn't feel it at all. the bloody thing was luke watm, and couldn't melt an icecube in direct sunlight.

I'm now leaning against a hot water bottle, sweaty, but oh so much better.
( ascorbate, Thu 26 Jun 2008, 16:22, 2 replies)

The internet
Really, biggest disappointment ever.

I remember when I first heard of the internet. I was a youngen, probably about 9 years of age. I was visiting a friend of my parents' house. I played with their dog for a bit, shot a bottle of water with an air gun, played with their Sky box... I soon became became bored and restless. I wandered around, before discovering their PC, and they were kind enough to let me use it. "Have a go on the internet, m'lad."

The internet? What was this? I demanded an explanation, and so was given one by my older brother - The Oracle of Knowledge. What he described... it was incredible. This magical portal to... well, everything. Anything. You just had to tap a few keys and you could explore this Brave New World. I was intoxicated by the possibilities. Every computer in the world, joined together in a single community? People seperated by oceans, mountains, thousands of miles, able to communicated with each other with a few key presses in less than a second? Billions of pages of information, music, videos, pictures, books, news... all accesible through a small screen and humming box? My God. We truly had entered an enlightened age.

I had to wait for years, YEARS, before the parents were finally persuaded to allow us access to this utopian dream. I remember the day well: 12th March 2000. I woke up early that day, my excitement barely containable. My breakfast was eaten in a rush, homework scribbled through, pet food strewn across the kitchen floor for the cats... I was distracted to the point of insanity. The tension, the suspense... I sat, unable to concentrate on anything.

I eagerly waited.

And waited.

And waited.

Where was the BT technician? Where was he? I needed this! I had waited years! I wanted to be part of this Brave New World! This flipside to 1984 - a socialist paradise! Freedom of information, conversation, expression! It was liberty, true, true liberty. This would be a revolution for mankind, surely, and I had to be part of it - being excluded would be like living in an underworld of darkness and despair, cut off from human contact and never progressing beyond the most basic of human intellect and emotion...

Just as I had given up hope, he came (quiet at the back), he saw, he installed.

The internet! It was mine! MINE! The knowledge of all the human race, encased in thousands of miles of optical cable and thousands of magnetic discs - ALL MINE. My hands were sweaty when I sat down at the computer, and it took me a few minutes before I had the courage.... eventually, I clicked the 'Log On' button with shaky fingers, the modem crackled and hissed and beeped.

It connected.

...

8 years later, and where has it got me? B3ta, funny emails, and making lewd jokes over MSN.

Biggest. Disappointment. Ever.


Edit: I'd like to point out here that B3ta is, naturally, one of the few things that does make the internet worth it. I love you guys. :O)
( Matoosh would rather like a biscuit, Thu 26 Jun 2008, 16:20, 11 replies)