Tartan trousers
When I was about eight, I acquired a pair of tartan trousers. I wore them almost every day, until someone pointed out not very kindly that I looked like an idiot.
Oh, and there was the time when I wore a quite tight fitting white t-shirt under a thick woolly jumper to school. When I took the jumper off, as it was quite warm in the room I was in, I realised that I had forgotten to put a bra on (I was about twelve, and had just started wearing bras) I didn't go out for about a week after that.
(Pretty strangers and promises, Wed 30 Aug 2006, 21:52, Reply)

Halloween, ca. 1980
I made a costume of the Power Droid from Star Wars. You know, the droid that appeared in the film for 1.3 seconds but they still made an action figure for? Yeah, him.

I just took a big box, painted it and put an antenna on it.

I though it was all stylin' until some guy asked if I was a steamboat or something.

If I didn't want his candy so bad I'd have wizzed in his bushes.
( setimret likes his metaphors mixed, not stirred, Wed 30 Aug 2006, 18:15, Reply)

Okay, here's one.
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you, me, aged 17:



Please make a special note of:

1. Stonewashed jeans.
2. Mullet haircut (crossed with receding hairline and general fluffiness).
3. Sleeveless t-shirt.
4. Neon pink guitar strap (coupled with out-of-shot neon pink guitar cable).
5. Purple guitar.

No further questions, your honour.

Sorry about the blurriness of the picture - it's for your own safety.
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Wed 30 Aug 2006, 17:19, Reply)

Fashion
12 years ago I made my own Destroy clothing with a stencil.Jeans, Shirts, Jackets you name it.I looked a twat in every item and... pardon the punage have now Destroyed not only every piece of clothing I made but any photograph with me wearing the shite... in fact I had forgotten all about it till this question. Arse.
(Doogie Talons, Wed 30 Aug 2006, 16:23, Reply)

And she still thinks its cool....
A friend of mine likes Hello Kitty to the point of slight obsession. She is also a goth. We knew it was only a matter of time before we would be greeted by said friend wearing:
Pink DM's, black and neon pink pvc skirt, pink and white Hello Kitty corset, black and pink hair and the full black and white goth makeup.

It took her a while to realise why we were laughing so much
(gothikpixie I have sonic cursors...oh yes...how cool am i?, Wed 30 Aug 2006, 16:21, Reply)

Jazz hands?
This one’s just been brought to my attention by a kind, kind friend who, on reading the QOTW emailed and asked why the hell I hadn’t posted it. The reason being I’ve spent years trying to blank out the horror.

Age 14 and our school decides to branch out a little by inviting in a local ‘modern dance’ choreographer to work with us during PE lessons for the next 8 weeks, the idea being that the workshops would end in a dance performance at the local theatre, choreographed and performed by us and videoed and edited by the year above’s media studies class.

So this effete knit-your-own-bloody-yogurt type turns up, trailing scarves and trying to get us in touch with our inner core through the medium of mime. Every PE lesson for 8 weeks, we have to pretend to be a tree or other such pretentious wank in order to build a dance production that truly represented our deepest longings and desires. Which mine were to rip this fuckwit’s arm off and beat him to death with the wet end.

The week before the performance we discuss costumes. Now, given my obvious physical failings (the extra six inches of height, the coordination of a stunned ox, together with the flat chest, poodle perm and NHS specs) and I’m hoping for a costume resembling a burkha. And what did we get?

Catsuits. With *takes breath and holds back the pricking of tears* tie-dyed tights over both the legs and with a hole cut in a second pair to be worn over the head, like a sweater. Mother of God.

The day of the performance and we’re handed our tights to put on. And some stupid, stupid fucker has bought them all in one size. Small. Which meant on me that the bottom half came up to roughly mid thigh and the top stopped somewhere round my collar bones. I begged and pleaded not to be humiliated in front of everyone like this but no, according to Wayne fucking Sleep the show was more important than the drink problem this was going to subsequently give me.

A good friend of mine who was videoing the performance said, and I quote “I actually wept in pity when I saw you. Then I stopped and pissed myself laughing.”

And now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go and take a valium and have a lie down.
(Rakky (forgot her password) The muffin maverick, Wed 30 Aug 2006, 16:18, Reply)

Rollerball Fashion Murder
Once back in the late 90's I was walking down Kilburn High Road wearing the following:

Purple crushed velvet ankle length coat
Black shirt
Black tie
Black embroidered waistcoat
Black leather jeans
Black ex-police motorcycle boots (the old style that weren't too clumpy)
Black leather gloves
Black sunglasses.

I also had long hair, bleached white (that I thought made me look like Elric of Melnibone, not just an idiot - I may have been wrong)

To describe the total look, it sort of looked like James Caan in Rollerball from the waist down and like a foppish twat from the waist up.

Although I probably looked like an arse, I liked it at the time so have no regrets. Also some bloke came up to me and laughingly said "What do you think you look like?"

"Not like you" I replied.

I still own the coat!
(Wascally Weasel now with 100% fewer jokes., Wed 30 Aug 2006, 15:17, Reply)

Once I swapped a naff tie
for a "smile Jesus loves you" sweater with a big smily yellow face on it.

I wore it 'ironically' for a while, because I thought it was so cheesy it was cool.

I still think the fake t-shirts I'd got in China that I wore at the time were ace though - with slogans such as "FFLIX THF CAI ~ my reputapion is wbii desebved"
(teasus likes tea, Wed 30 Aug 2006, 15:15, Reply)

Looked bad, accidentally made it worse...
...my uni days were not some of my finest in the world of fashion. As is true for most folk I fell into the routine of picking up whatever was cleanest off the floor... Usually a 'Rolling Rock' t-shirt I got free and my favourite pair of combats which I'd worn to bits... 6 different buttons holding the flies together.

One hungover morning I put my trainers on and attended a lecture, only noticing on the way home that I was wearing one blue/grey Airwalk and one black/cream Vans trainer... Nobody said anything.

I also did the nail varnish thing... I'm not a goth, just an indie bloke... In random nail varnish. Most girls were jealous because I applied it better than they did. Impressed nobody though.
( beefandcheese, Wed 30 Aug 2006, 14:49, Reply)

Well, i think this guy wins
Before we start two things: This isnt me, and no its not safe for work, or anywhere else.

this man Seems to enjoy exposing himself to the world clad in womens speedos.

To be fair its rather brave, and he must like them a lot judging by how many he has, and how much they cost each.

just imagine if a prospective employer was to google his name, its bring a whole new life to his "hobbies" section of his CV

he also has a guest book, which seems like he's just asking for abuse. mind you perhaps hes into that sort of thing

i think we can all formulate a visual knob gag on that one
(KaiserPro captain arse rape, Wed 30 Aug 2006, 13:07, Reply)

My attempted teenage rebellion...
I was home for the holidays, and being 15 or so, was in my "I'm a teenage rebel" phase. My mother decided that as it was my first weekend back, I should go to the local village church with her, pay my respects to God and say hello to all the little village ladies.

I wanted them to think I was well 'ard, a sociopathic rebel who played by her own rules and was a dangerous (and therefore secretly cool) person.

So I wore:
1 pair combat trousers (I was a cadet at school)
1 green t-shirt
1 pair Doc Martins (furry suede)
1 stripy ethnic-looking alice band
1 carefully crafted expression of world-weary rebellious disdain (well, that was what my gurning was meant to convey).

SO having gone to quite a lot of effort to put together a badass outfit, imagine my pique when my mother, her little friends and the bloody vicar didn't run for the hills, screaming in terror and wondering what happened to the lovely little girl I used to be, but actually said "hello dear, you look nice today. very fashionable".

I got home and realised I looked like a sad little girl trying to be mean and impressive when it was patently obvious that I was still, underneath it all, a sensitive and nice person who wouldn't want to rip someone's arms off for "looking at me funny". pah.
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Wed 30 Aug 2006, 12:21, Reply)

Fancy Dress
One christmas my dad's side of family had a big get together down at my aunt's farm in Devon, (We went through a phase for a few years where every holiday involved a family get together down at the farm, not really sure why) the highlight of which was going to be a fancy dress party.

Having all decided on our various costumes, (I went as a gangster; smart suit, dodgy mustache and a gun which I enjoyed threatening my the children with) we set about gathering the props. However, due to my dad being a cheap and lazy git, by the time the day arrived his pharaoh costume was utterly non-existant.

So, in a brilliant display of last-minute thinking, my dad dissapeared into his room, and emerged a few minutes later dressed exactly the same, but with a baseball cap on.

"What costume's that meant to be?" We asked.
"I'm Steven Spielberg!" he replied (my dad wears glasses like said director, and at that stage had a similar beard)

Needless to say when we arrived at the party, to encounter family members who'd spent a great deal of time on their costumes, my dad had the piss taken out of him for the entire night. Best thing was, he'd been really proud of his Spielberg idea at the time. Fool.
(Uncle Comrade, Wed 30 Aug 2006, 12:17, Reply)

Hats!
While I was in my last year of school, (ie a few months ago) I decided to try rec cricket for my games option. The "rec" bit basically is code for "couldn't be fucked to play proper cricket". As such, to make up for our lack of abilities, we used to introduce themes. One week was hats, and I arrived in my sports gear sporting an army helmet. I quite liked this hat, it gave me ideas. This meant that anyone wandering along Tonbridge High Street around lunchtime on one particular Wednesday would be treated to the sight of a small red Postman Pat style Japanese car trundling along, windows down, Ride of The Valkyries blasting out, and my helmeted head stuck out the window crying "I love the smell of Tonbridge in the morning!" while spanking the side of the car and yelling "Yeee-haww".

Oh, and the next week, I was caught speeding, so my photo (which regrettably I never asked to look at) has me in a Hawaiin shirt and shades.

Well that was nice and off topic....
(LickOutTheJamsMotherfuckers!, Wed 30 Aug 2006, 12:15, Reply)

Oh no...
Mid 70's pre-punk... jumper & cardy set (with stars), big-collared homepride-flower-grader pattened shirt, 13 button-high-waister-bottle green-side pocketed parallels. 4inch platforms. Shoulder length centre-parted hair. (I'm a bloke by the way). Cool as fcuk. Erm, no, I don't think it was now. I wasn't the only one!
(MichaelLinge (ywc), Wed 30 Aug 2006, 11:54, Reply)

LUFC
Early 70's football hooligan days - Silver or Gold painted Docs, half mast jeans and a decorated white Butchers coat... God we were tuff.
(MichaelLinge (ywc), Wed 30 Aug 2006, 11:48, Reply)

News just in....
The "girls" in my office ahve decided to mix labority work with an ann summers style show... great...
(lucifyer Reaping souls since 1482, Wed 30 Aug 2006, 11:11, Reply)

We have a winner! Everyone else just stop
Oh this has to be the top post!
www.b3ta.com/questions/diyfashion/post60411/

My own fashion disaster was when I went to school looking like the campest memebr of Japan to avoid being photgraphed in my school uniform. Read this....
www.b3ta.com/questions/localpapers/post23200/
( Fire & Forget it's the only way to be sure, Wed 30 Aug 2006, 10:52, Reply)

Madonna in drunk nightclub shocker
My friend had a birthday party where everyone had to come dressed as pop stars. I went as Madonna, with a cone bra made out of cereal packets and everything.

My first mistake, however, was drinking absinth for the first time. It was quite a nice tipple, resulting in not only a pleasant and lingering burning sensation but also insane giggling and severe loss of coordination.

Arriving at the club in a very jolly mood, I decided I really needed to dance and, despite the fact that the Chemical Brothers were actually the track playing, felt I needed to 'stay in character' and started vogueing. This would've been OK in itself, had my level of inebriation not by that point reached epic proportions and my carefully crafted dance moves not turned into a mad windmill of arms that caused several people standing perilously close to me to be whacked in the face.

I got bored. I headed to the bar. I couldn't focus so just pointed and chucked some money at the barman. I think - and here's where my memory goes a little fuzzy - I ordered a Jack Daniels, Aftershock and bottle of WKD. These do not combine well.

There may be a gap here where I rested my eyes in the toilet for a minute or so.

Back in the club my friends are nowhere to be seen so I politely ask the DJ if I can put a call out to find them. He is very possessive of his microphone but I manage to yell out "Hellllooooo" before I am pushed away.

I dance on the podium. I fall off the podium.

A man comes up to me to ask if I am OK. He is wearing a black suit and bow tie. Millennium has just come out with its James Bond-esque video. "Nice Costume" say I "you'd look just like Robbie Williams if you weren't so flabby". He was not wearing a Robbie Williams costume, he was a bouncer. He was not amused. One of my cardboard cone bra cups was squashed as I was marched out of the club.

Puked on step of club and vogued home.

A good night out.
( hanabanana, Wed 30 Aug 2006, 10:39, Reply)

I don't dress funny

You don't understand me, and you don't understand my music.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Wed 30 Aug 2006, 9:02, Reply)

DIY? all the time!!
if you are ever unfortunate enough to be walking through the streets of Kalispell, Montana, USA do not be surprised if you see the bastard love child of an orgy of hippies, Rainbow Brite, and the Scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz. because that would be me. i make my own clothing. i have for ages. today for example i made a skirt out of a skull hankerkief, part of a quilt and fabric with little green rowboats on it. children often stop and stare when i walk by...

on a more interesting note, my mum made my brother the raddest halloween costume one year. a huge, green T-rex outfit. she spent almost three days on it, and he wore it until he ripped out the feet. because of that he ran out of his prom crying.

sorry for the length, lack of humour, so on and so forth... but this was my first time.
(bettiexclever, Wed 30 Aug 2006, 7:31, Reply)

I was only 3
When I was wee, I used to love wearing some heart -shaped pink sunglasses with a ladybird baseball cap...basically it was with black spots... the illusion of there being a large bug on my head was perfect, I'm sure. My brother, being 13 at the time, hated it...but my mother let me wear it all the time, out hopping, picking my bro up from school, etc. Also, at an age when I probably should have known better (like 12 or 13), I went through a 'Mr. T' phase...confusing, especially as I hadn't seen the A team at this point, and that I'm a girl. It mostly revolved around huge fake gold chains. I also used to wear big baggy knitted jumpers with flourescent penguins on them, and my brothers uber-baggy grungey t shirts, which looked kind of odd on a skinny little girl.
Ye gods, I just remembered the kind of glasses I used to wear throughout most of high school, they had big owly looking frames in purple and white speckles...sweet jesus.
I also had a bit of a goth phase, which actually wasn't as bad as it could have been... though I did once wear huge baggy purple cords with a bright orangey red wooly jumper, then realised I looked like a cross-bred Tellytubby.
When I was at college I think my clothes were the worst...I bought this really cosy looking long, black, belted cardigan with a hood from topshop, I wore it in one day and got accused by 7 people of wearing a dressing gown. I wear it now still, only as a dressing gown.
To be fair I haven't changed much now, I own outfits that began as Halloween costumes, and have since evolved into items in my eveyday wardrobe, a la Patty and Selma. I also own a dress that looks as if its made from tarantula hides, which has bizarrely recieved many compliments.
I think I've embraced my general sartorial weirdness and I hope I at least can carry it off with some kind of style...sadly my boyfriend manages not to. He once wore the following to a wedding -
Old school blazer, which was burgundy, about 4 sizes too small, with obvious stiches where the badge used to be,
some migraine inducing shirt,
'Tigger' tie, which he still has at the age of 24 (happy birthday jon!!)
very, very tight black jeans
trainers
Aww, he has another wedding to go to, and I'm to help him pick out a decent suit, maybe I'm not the best person to ask actually.
(Ryuken-Kai, Wed 30 Aug 2006, 5:21, Reply)

RESULT!...ouch.
On Haight-Ashbury in San Francisco, I bought the coolest pair of red tartan Doc Martens with black leather trim.

Only problem - they were about two sizes too small, but they were the only pair, and the price was a steal. I bought them.

Many blisters later, I decided the only solution was to slash open the toes horizontally to create extra room.

Red tartan Docs = cool. Your thick white socks saluting the world from the front of them = just plain wrong.
( KersaI Missive Free Michael Shields! with Monday's Liverpool Echo, Wed 30 Aug 2006, 2:38, Reply)

I once had a "Chopper Ried" style moustache
But when I was shaving one day I fucked up & wrecked one of the sides. So I decided to shave it into a regular moustache & kept it for a few weeks.
I seen a photo of myself later on & asked people "why didn't you tell me I looked like a complete poof!?" The typical response was "It was funnier not to."
Cunts.
Never again.
( Sir Pigeon Nipples Did you sit in some sugar?, Wed 30 Aug 2006, 2:05, Reply)

pssh.
i thought i looked cool when i wore a navy blue baseball-type jersey and snap pants suit with black mary-jane dress shoes to a dance in grade 5. said outfit had fluorescent bits on the lapel and down the legs. woo.

and i wondered why no one wanted to dance with me.
(alastair_debutante the girl who ate cigarette butts and lived, Wed 30 Aug 2006, 0:39, Reply)

Once apon a cheese
When I had a punk band that accidentally turned into a mostly-Offspring covers band, we played a gig. We played about 5 actually, over a couple of years. We weren't too productive. At the first of these gigs I borrowed a pair of trousers from a friend. Said friend was the 14 year old equivalent of Jonathan Ross (and now, I maintain, is the 19 yeah old equivalent of JR), in that he wears stuff that no one else would dare touch, but he somehow makes them look cool.

To cut a long story short, I really shouldn't wear large orange baggy trousers, especially in front of people.
( Styxx hates when people talk in the third person, Tue 29 Aug 2006, 23:06, Reply)

Another One
as a BMXer grew my hair long and to stop it from whipping about, I would tie it back, with a a lizard skins head set cover and not only did it not work very well it looked stupid
( Neon Blue Ah ha ha haa! I feel positively capital!, Tue 29 Aug 2006, 21:44, Reply)

Boots.
as a 15 year old that thought I was more punk than selling out and becoming stale I thought I was the shit, ripped jeans, big boots and a real aggressive attitude, even though I was soft a shite, could barely lift my feet and had constantly cold knees
( Neon Blue Ah ha ha haa! I feel positively capital!, Tue 29 Aug 2006, 21:37, Reply)

Shirts so loud your eyes bled...
Back in the day, when I was about 15 (all of 4 years ago then.) I thought it was cool and fashionable to wear shirts that had so many bright and vivid colours on them that it probably would make your eyes bleed if you looked for too long, and to top it off they usually had some ridiculous anime-esque character plastered all over them. Needless to say not that brilliant fashion wise.
Also on a side note last friday some of the lads at work wanted me to join them down the pub for a few drinks while I was still wearing my work uniform, hi-vis jacket and covered in generic crap from a warehouse, now that would have been another fashion disaster.

P.s. Yay! First post, shame its quite a crap one really.
(OzEden is probably clinically insane, Tue 29 Aug 2006, 21:18, Reply)

Long, long ago in a far off place........
Cravat. Floral shirt. Loon pants. Fat. Spots.
I am amazed that I ever got a wank, never mind laid.
(beaverwastemanagement a real company. I want to work for them!, Tue 29 Aug 2006, 20:24, Reply)

Don't Trust Women
My attractive friend suggested that I squeeze myself into my younger brother's tiny little Bayern Munich replica footie top (Old Skool Adidas with groovy Gothic script across the chest). I was 17. My brother was 10. Despite my reservations I agreed in a futile attempt to endear myself to said attractive friend.
Went clubbing. Looked a right twat. Got strange looks all night and rounded the evening off by getting smashed in the face for 'being a poof'.
(matdatphatkat, Tue 29 Aug 2006, 19:02, Reply)