So I popped into the local corner shop
specifically to buy the following:

some biscuits
string

Now why on earth would I purchase such random items, I hear you ask? Indeed the chap on the till thought it mighty odd too. Well, earlier in the day I had bought a bonzai tree......stay with me here......so when you tie the biscuits to the tree you get:

a BISCUIT TREE

The sad thing is I wasn`t even pissed, but it was the best birthday present my housemate ever got.
(widdy, Thu 16 Jun 2005, 2:12, Reply)

Don't do it drunk !
I once (after a long lunch session on the Stella) went into a barbers shop and got what turned out to be the worst, and I mean the very worst haircut anyone I knew at the time had ever witnessed. Cost me about two weeks of utter ridicule and then £30 or so at a proper hairdressers to put right.
(Elnicko Nearly pub O'Clock, Wed 15 Jun 2005, 22:39, Reply)

I was bought when i drunk this...
Life sucks as a Gigolo but absynth helps the pain *Sob* *Sob*

oh... shit
(Limited IQ, Wed 15 Jun 2005, 21:24, Reply)

Brand new top of the range Mondeo.
Cost me 20 grand; 7 days old drove to France with wife, broke down (the car, not my wife), ruined holiday.

Felt like driving it through the bloomin (expltives witheld) salesmans front door.

If i'd have been drunk it would have been excuseable, but i was stone cold sober when i signed on the dotted line.
(gronda_gronda I'm old, please speak slowly., Wed 15 Jun 2005, 20:32, Reply)

Fucking Scooby Doo
Reading Festival 2004. Spent the whole morning drinking, by around lunchtime I couldn't physically eat anything, so instead drank more Carling (nasty stuff). Bought some dodgy weed off some fella outside a pub, then started chatting to someone dressed as Scooby Doo. Went back to his van to have a smoke. My boyfriend stole his loudspeaker and was hurling abuse at random people forcing them to buy the shittest t-shirts. I gave in, and I bought a "fifty pence" shirt for a tenner. On the way back to the campsite I realised what I had done and promptly disposed of the evidence. The fucking shame of it. I am easily led.
(Petal, Wed 15 Jun 2005, 20:20, Reply)

SUGAR HIGH!!!!
I was on a French trip in Yr6 or so. Extremely hyper being young and in a foreign place! I ended up buying a plastic bin and dragging it round St Omer for the whole day.
Silly string was also bought. I got all this grey crap over me as it broke :(
I pity the poor shopkeepers :p
Also I have been to a local shop and asked for sedatives. The assistant (bit of a dumbass) said "I'll just check". At which point her surpervisor burst into hysterics as did we and ran down the road with a trolley.
God, I'm going to be awful when drunk.

Length doesn't matter, where it goes does.
(/lurks], Wed 15 Jun 2005, 19:39, Reply)

A ticket to T in the Park
Was chatting to a mate of mine on my birthday last year - and as you can imagine, I was sober as a judge.

Saw him a few days later, and he said "Guess what I've got you? - Tickets to T in the Park!"

I shat myself initially, but its now the only festival I have got tickets to this year! \o/
(sack the chimp, Wed 15 Jun 2005, 19:37, Reply)

Cheap piss
Pissed with my girlfriend and in Tescos, we decided we would like to purchase more alcohol.

Being ladies of immense good taste, we thought it'd be utterly fucking hilarious to buy as much Tesco's own brand cider as we could afford.

Which was a lot.

We woke up the next morning to a veritable sea of stripy blue and white 2 litre bottles and a fucking massive headache.

I think we'd purchased about 10 or 12 litres in the end. Oh, the hilarity.
(sporky, Wed 15 Jun 2005, 19:29, Reply)

I bought
The world's scariest doll.

(Pachey, Wed 15 Jun 2005, 18:35, Reply)

quite pished and in waterstones, bristol
bought the biggest goddamned book about facism u ever did see. was a birthday present for my mate, a mere six months early. Also on the same trip a bonzai tree. in spite of me thinking i was being subtle, i managed to alert the whole shop to an elderly gentleman in the 'adult photography' section by pointing and shouting to my mate "he's looking at porn. fucking perv!"
(howacearemonkeys itsaspoonerism, Wed 15 Jun 2005, 17:40, Reply)

a friend of mine got a tatto
it looks quite cool a big 'VII' on his arm.

however its less cool when one finds out that he had it done when he was drunk and settled on the design because he liked final fantasy 7.

Then there's the tale of my other friend who wasn't drunk when he walked all the way home with a flat packed shelf unit before realising that it wasn't the plastic dustbin he'd bought
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 15 Jun 2005, 17:14, Reply)

christmas eve
was always fun when i worked in jessops - drunk guys having forgotten to buy christmas presents will buy pretty much any old crap you have left on the shelves
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 15 Jun 2005, 17:11, Reply)

thathitsthemark - I did the same thing except i got lucky
I took £250 out of a cash machine and walked away, turns out the machine sucks it back in if you don't take it right away. I had to wait till after the weekend to find out though. lucky me
( toadfish, Wed 15 Jun 2005, 16:05, Reply)

I want an inflatable...
Dalek that I've seen on the net.
However I can't buy it unless I get very drunk as I really don't think that it's acceptable to buy a £30 4ft inflatable Dalek while sober.

.....any excuse to get the beers out :D
(therocker, Wed 15 Jun 2005, 15:44, Reply)

good and bad stuff
Good in New York: With one too many evil margueritas in me, went into the local fantastic record store I had previously been afraid to enter due to its coolness, grabbed all the random excellent stuff, by the end had four sales guys falling over their feet to help the petite english bird with the credit card swaying on her feet in the middle of the store slurring things like 'crikey, that's cheap. What else you got?'. Woke up the next day with hangover, 20 odd cds, $120 poorer, four phone numbers in me pocket. Still, reasoned it would've cost 3x that back home...

Bad: Same trip, all nighter out in the Village, came back and my friend grabbed two random guys (one of which looked EXACTLY like Richard Chamberlain) and made them come eat breakfast with us at the diner.

Never order meat when drunk and 22 and you have been vegetarian since the age of 12, no matter how high the craving.

Projectile vomiting. Never impresses the lads.
(niceandwarmandhot vive la résistance, Wed 15 Jun 2005, 13:36, Reply)

£150 worth of nothing!
Suffering from a terrible hangover and barely able to keep my eyes open, I finished work one friday and needing cash withdrew 150 notes from a hole in the wall. Except I didn't wait for the cash. Walked off and realised too late what I had done. Legged it back to the cash point where some guy was lurking with a stupid grin on his face. A total waste of money.
(thathitsthemark, Wed 15 Jun 2005, 13:01, Reply)

He was bought whilst drunk...
My mate woke up from a drunken stupor on the Manchester to Stockport bus the other night and found his pockets were full of money that he didn't have before. He wasn't sure if he'd been interfered with but the money was a bonus.
(mudflaps, Wed 15 Jun 2005, 12:51, Reply)

At the time I was an IT journalist, so this is pretty inexcusable
After a long boozy lunch decided to pop into Dixons - first mistake - to look for a new computer. Second mistake was to choose ex-display Packard Bell. And third and final and most unbelievably stupid part was to be conned into buying their stupid bloody protection plan. Computer was pile of shite obviously, at the time PBs were shipping with bizarre proprietary OS that sat on top of Windows. Was a nightmare to uninstall.. and everything else was clunky as hell.. But worst of all the 'protection plan' with 'hotline' was a complete waste of time, with nobody EVER at the end of the line. I made the fuckers give me the money back for this... but was still left with the crappy computer.
(chuntymudflap, Wed 15 Jun 2005, 11:42, Reply)

Peer pressure
I am now the proud owner of a tattoo round my belly button with the words "made in heaven" was 15 at the time and pretty drunk and stoned.

My friends thought it would be great to get a tattoo down in the legendary place that was called Jacks. £1.00 a word! You had to have i.d and he didnt care what kind of i.d as long as it stated you was over 18. I had my friends mum's birth certificate which made me 36 at the time, he still didnt bat an eye lid.

Could of been worse for me though, one of my mates got "Made In England" and the other...... "Spice Power"

I am dreading the day I fall pregnant, can you imagine it when I go for a scan and I have a dirty big stretched tattoo over my bump reading "made in heaven" oh the shame.
(Fran, Wed 15 Jun 2005, 11:02, Reply)

A Boat
on ebay while pissed with a house full of mates, it's an ex USCG vessel and 120 ft long. We all thought it was really funny to buy for $7000 until we realised it'd cost us this much to get there and get it back.

Will soon be going round the east coast ramming jet skis. Not junk, but wildly stupid.
( The Beast can't help looking at womens breasts on the tube, Wed 15 Jun 2005, 10:20, Reply)

thank god my gfs birthday was near
Woke up one morning to find my wallet open on my mousemat, something I normally never do. Still hungover from the night before, I checked my email and my bank balance - all in line. Phew I thought.

Next day, I go to work, and there in my inbox is a "receipt" email. "Ha!", I thought, "another spoof email". I carried on reading my emails. Suddenly, a vortex of fear and panic rose from my stomach.

"Confirmation of booking: 2 x Return cruise to Gothenburg"

Cruise was nice actually, a welcome "birthday treat" for my lady. But hooo man, whole thing came to about 500 quid (not including spending money - £12.50 for 2 g&t's??
(witterquick, Wed 15 Jun 2005, 10:13, Reply)

As seen in the hood
Does anyone want to buy this LP I bought while pissed up. Its a bootleg of another LP I bought when pissed up on the alcho pops. it comes with a bag of itching powder and a tickling stick so you can 'get into' scratching with it.

Its too hard core for me songs about robbing car stereos and signing on "for the fella" at the 'dole' office


(Potassium Permanganate, Wed 15 Jun 2005, 1:27, Reply)

right then ive got a list
this scared me when i read it i realised how much i drink.
1. drunk at colege went shopping bought platic bin, 2 reams of paper, 50 empty cd cases iwas in stationary box.
2. in jjb sports i bought wrist wieghts, a paper coil dartboard and 2 sets of darts (really wierd as i own a pro dartboard and good darts and my own wieghts).
3. on ebay naruto merchandise one plastic kunai one metal kunai and shurukin forehead protector and a pendant.
4.knowing that the best place for sd cards is overclockers or ebuyer i bought memeory for a camera from boystuff at 4 time the price,
5 drunk after college wanted one drink bought two rounds then no memory till i woke up at home turns out for the 4 hours i was out i was wheeled ( im a crip) to the bar nudged to pay for everyone with the switch card i never looked at my bank statement for fear of what i would see.
6. at ame con last year (anime con) went to dealers room tanked and bought a 12inch high pro gundam model unbuilt 2 smaller no less complicated models, a set of colnial cubits from battle star galactica and a mini claymore.
7. after con at home on ebay whilst drunk bought 3 more sets of colonial cubits so the others wouldnt feel lonely.
8. 1500 assorted incense sticks
9. and to finish on numerous occasions the normal array of stupid books cds and dvds anda clitoral vibrator? (im a guy)
( filth wizard, Wed 15 Jun 2005, 0:28, Reply)

T'Internet should come with a breathalyser
A word of warning to all you folks out there. Having imbibed enough Scotch whisky to knock out a large pony, you DO NOT become the legendary gambling hero you secretly dream you are.

Cost: several hundred pounds of previously accumulated winnings lost in a few minutes.
(TheJacksonSixth, Tue 14 Jun 2005, 23:05, Reply)