A flight to New York
I was told this story (in probably a much funnier and interesting way) at a friend's barbeque one summer.

Two or three friends had been having a little bit of an all day drinking session and had chosen at some point to start drinking the mighty Absinthe. Absinthe is one of those drinks that is probably best consumed in small proportions, but that didn't bother these guys as they had the whole bottle on top of their other usual booze.

Now from personal experience (different story, another time), being drunk on Absinthe is not the same as being drunk on vodka or beer, it really warps your senses as it did to one of the chaps who drank hefty amounts of it.

So after lots of drinking and eventually falling asleep/passing out he wakes up and comes to, with a bit more sense about him. There's a constant noise coming from all around him. There are people in chairs all around him. A few people in front are being served some drinks by a woman in a familiar uniform. Hmmm. With a quick glance around it becomes quickly evident that he is on a plane.

A plane to New York.

He lives in south England.

He doesn't know anyone in New York city.

So once he's touched down, with a slight bit of confusion as to how he got there, as he had no memory of it, he calls his friends to tell them where he is. Much more confusion and hilarity from his friends follows and he is left with no alternative but to buy a ticket straight back home.

Several hundred pounds lighter and probably with a sense never to drink Absinthe again, that's one drunken buy that he won't forget!

Whether it is true or not, I don't know. They told it as if it was and it certainly made me laugh at the time, so I don't care!

If only I was able to re-tell it in a slightly funny way... :-(

*pop* There goes my b3ta cherry. Length and duration will improve with time.
(degeneration, Fri 10 Jun 2005, 9:36, Reply)

i bought
a bed a lamp and a flat pack book case from my local ikea.

which is a 4 hour drive away.
on country roads.
while drunk and probobly under the influence of cat nip.
i dont know why i bought them but i think my cat told me to do it as he uses the bed more than me.
( DR Mexico Hunt, Hunt, Hunt, He's The Huntsman!!, Fri 10 Jun 2005, 9:20, Reply)

a purple wig
on the same night, I also put a sizeable bid on a battleship
( VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Fri 10 Jun 2005, 8:38, Reply)

A Hungarian bride

(SSSSS, Fri 10 Jun 2005, 8:01, Reply)

Ebay
Oooh, and just remembered, there may have been an incident on Ebay where my brother and I, whilst extremelt drunk and under the influence of various drugs, decided it would be a really good idea to bid for 4 different Micra's...

The only thing I can say about that one is THANK FUCK we were out bit on all accounts!
(wormeater, Fri 10 Jun 2005, 7:58, Reply)

Hangover Impulses
Whenever I get particularly drunk and have to stagger my way home back through town the next day, I can never resist buying all sorts of random useless crap.

A few boxing days ago I ended up with a gigantic purple furry coat - with matching mitts, I thought it was really cool at the time and that everyone would be impressed. They said that it looked like chewy had fallen into a tub of purple paint.

A few years later, a similar incident occurred, only this time it was purple furry boots...
Perhaps I shoudl stay away from the fur whilst hungover...
(wormeater, Fri 10 Jun 2005, 7:56, Reply)

PPRO
I got trashed and then thought I was a share dealing genius, I bought a shedload of Purchase Pro shares which crashed within a week, I lost about a grand :-(

[pop goes my posting virginity]
(toadrunner, Fri 10 Jun 2005, 6:30, Reply)

After Ten Pints of Everard's Sunchaser...
..I wake up the next morning feeling like I just wantd to die there and then. Could it get any worse?
Lo and behold it did.

A CD, Cher: Believe was on my dresser.

And six plastic toy ducks had infested my shower cubicle.

Let's not forget the half-eaten Dodgy Derek's burger in the sink (the trigger to half a day of vomitual pain), and last but not least, dear reader,

My door (yes, the door) on the outside had the half-garbled lyrics to Duran Duran's "Girls On Film" scrawled badly upon it with a cheap supermarket pencil.

Eeek.
(FightingComet got Boost Power on, Fri 10 Jun 2005, 6:00, Reply)

Courtesy of Ebay and alcohol I now own
1 signed portrait of Darth Vader (honest!)
1 BBC master computer
3, yes 3, One Rings (LOTR)
1 Armani Ladies watch (which I gave to my ex as it didn't fit)
Every episode of Mork and Mindy, every bloody episode
1 complete set of stickers for a burger van. Must buy a burger van sometime.
And that's just a short list
( the wild elk Freeing excellence affects reality, Fri 10 Jun 2005, 5:40, Reply)

Painfully aware
now, but I got my nipple pierced, in hindsight not the brightest of moves as I found out at my cost!
(DWF, Fri 10 Jun 2005, 4:24, Reply)

A tombstone.
With the enscription:

"braaaaaaiiiins"

1978-?

They thought we'd been drowning our sorrows, and we convinced them 'Brains' was our friends nickname. With the aid of a fake will

Apparently it's very unusual to ask to take a tombstone with you once you've had it inscribed.

We planted it on a roundabout, it was gone within a few days.
£217, incase you were wondering
(Naughty Tortoise, Fri 10 Jun 2005, 4:05, Reply)

A couple of months ago...
I went out on the piss in a big way with a mate. At the end of the night, I remember being in a taxi, which stopped just up the road from my house. I remember getting out of the taxi. I then remember waking up and discovering a carrier bag with an asortment of crisps, chocolate milk, chocolate and porn next to my bed. Not the most unusual selection of things, but...... I must have walked nearly half a mile, to the the only shop that's open at 4am. That's a mile round trip that I simply can't remember. The mags were good though....
( The Togaboy The world will end on, Fri 10 Jun 2005, 4:01, Reply)

Story of my life
Got drunk. Bought another drink. Happened many a times; results varied, but were never very good.
(yellow hippo, Fri 10 Jun 2005, 3:24, Reply)

I once bought an ice cream from.


Ok lets get the shitty bandwagon bollocks out of the way and start posting proper answers
( Terry Oblong There's nobody here but us chickens on, Fri 10 Jun 2005, 2:48, Reply)

When I moved into my first home
I had no furniture and a bad habit of drinking all my spending money. One afternoon, sitting on the floor, we decided that we should fill the house with inflatable furniture - couches, armchairs, coffee table, the works. They lasted three weeks until one night when we played jumping castle (also while drunk).

A week later (also drunk) we bought a whole heap of wood from the hardware store and decided to build our own furniture (while drunk). After a few near misses with the circular saw we had a new couch (with extra foam rubber goodness), TV stand and coffee table. My flatmate then vomited all over the couch, so we left it on the street corner. It disappeared within the hour - we like to think that there is a very comfortable tramp with a nice living room set up in his alley somewhere...
( gronkpan https://twitter.com/VomitingLarry, Fri 10 Jun 2005, 1:43, Reply)

Mobile phone shite
got a new mobile about a month ago,really snazzy,3g gizmo,got pished,told my gf that u could watch big brother on it live,big mistake,it costs a bleedin fortune,cue getting up yesterday to face a 300 quid bill,didnt strictly buy it when pissed,but if i wasnt,it wouldnt have happened
(markoyotojakamoto, Fri 10 Jun 2005, 1:00, Reply)

Rubbish is never
bought when drunk! In those few sober moments of clarity between drinking sessions, everything bought when drunk turns into gold-dust. I even treasure a fly-mo which i bought for a tenner from a bloke in his back garden at 3am :)

come to think of it he was probably a burglar

and it never worked
( Reginald Von Hammercock, Fri 10 Jun 2005, 0:54, Reply)

Wales

( Halk, Fri 10 Jun 2005, 0:22, Reply)

.
quite monged + persuasion from also monged friends + singing hamster + girlfriend + anniversary = bad idea
(Barry Big Fist, Fri 10 Jun 2005, 0:10, Reply)

:-|
90% of my CD and DVD collection have been bought between the hours of two and three in the morning after a night out.

I only find out in the morning after i get an email saying it's despatched.

I alse spent £13 on iTunes so i would have some songs to listen to in the morning. I spent £8 on a CD I had already - which was rather clever(ish).

Ah well
( SocialRobot, Fri 10 Jun 2005, 0:08, Reply)

while drunk
i bought a membership to the local gym. i think it's expired now.
(hi_my_name_is..., Fri 10 Jun 2005, 0:07, Reply)

Whilst drunk I bought....
A train ticket from Edinburgh to London.

I was in Liverpool at the time.
(rhyswynne - on every social network mullarkey known to man, Fri 10 Jun 2005, 0:04, Reply)

sennor
Your friend should watch the Ricky Gervais Politics DVD and either sue the bastard for plagiarism or stop telling that story.
(donksta, Thu 9 Jun 2005, 23:19, Reply)

Not myself, by a friends friend
Not myself, but a friends rather amusing anecdote of what happend to him and their friend one fatal 18th birthday a few years back.

The scene is, buddy turns 18, so, cue the drinking of legal beers at around 10am, but 3pm, everyone was well and truely sloshed,
waiting for the train, one speeds past (obviously not the one they needed, but drunken newly 18 friend though it was - so he begins runing down the platform, screeming stop stop, slapping his hand on the carridges and SMASH face first into a pillar.

everyone rushes over horrified to see if they are okay "are you alright?"
"nurrh....no.....ah shit meselffph..."
says the over boozed lad.

so, 10 minits till their train arrives everyone scrapes together what little cash they have, and hands it to him,
-here leggit to oxfam to get a new pair of grandad trousers or somthing, (as his were pretty shitty by now)
so, off he legsit with around 7quid.
2 minits till train comes and he comes mincing back with his green oxfam bag ,and they all board the train, he pop into the toilets to get changed.
a few minits pass, and a shitty pair of jeans fly past the train winow - "fair play, hes getting rid of the evidence, they thing"
another 5 or 6 minits pass, and people get concerend, perhaps hes passed out in the toilet....
so, the toddle off to check -
*knock knock* you okay in there mitch?
"..nuh..."
"whats wrong?"
"I bought a jumper"
and out he walks, wearing this old wooly jumper around himself like a huge diaper.
and that my friends, is what he bought when drunk.
I find it very funny - but apologies for lenght girth, width and circumference to all who did not enjoy.
(Sennor, Thu 9 Jun 2005, 22:56, Reply)

A Condom
So... a long time ago, in a wooded area far,far away...

I was young (legal age(ish)) in a tent with my then girl friend. (most definitely legal(ish))

In the next tent along was my then best buddy. After bonfires, beers and bedtime, I suddenly realised I needed that special rubber sock contraption. These were stored, easily available, in my ruck sack - which was in the (now don't chuckle) bell-end of the tent next door...

Much bartering ensued and I purchased a single johnny (MY OWN PROPERTY!) for the grand price of an NBC smock(Nuclear, Biological, Chemical protective 'coat') and a gortex sleeping-back cover. Now these things aint cheap, but at the time were damned cool. (Honest)

Though drunk I still felt robbed; I ensured that we gave a suitably annoying vocal show for the next full 3 1/2 minutes to show off.

It wasn't till the morning that it transpired everything from my belly button down was drenched in (now well-clotted) blood....After I had left the tent and greeted my fellow campers. Hohum.

Same chap 'borrowed', out of the blue, £400 from me in 1999.



-if it fits, then wear it-
( zacherynuk @echo off, Thu 9 Jun 2005, 22:24, Reply)

Very Expensive Can of Pepsi
One night after getting rather drunk in the local nightclub after an all day pub crawl I was thirsty enough, but too lazy to walk to the nearest kebab house which my mate had just gone to, so in exchange for his 3/4 full can of pepsi I gave him all the French currency (before the Euro) in my wallet after my recent skiing trip. I dont know how many francs there were but it came to £16.50 the next day at the post office! Now I just go the kebab shop and buy a can for myself.
(Birdman, Thu 9 Jun 2005, 22:15, Reply)

once ages ago
i got drunk and signed up for these forums.

i found this out when registerin' and the forum was all "hey fool, we got your email"

huh.

anyway, a mate of mine once persuaded me to buy a tequila suicide.

one salt snorting, lemon in the eye, tequila slammin' session later, sign me up for the never-been-able-to-drink-the-stuff-again school.

i used to really like tequila as well. it was the new dosers champers, much replacin' the bulmers special reserve sider 1litre, drunk half way and topped off with special brew. (mmm!)
(the monkey conspiracy, Thu 9 Jun 2005, 21:58, Reply)