Mags
Greykid,

this laptop switch you speak of - happened to my mate at uni but at least he got a record bag full of beer...

drunken purchases? How about £30 worth of mags - not even jazz mags - new scientist, Q, NME, four four two... and a french newspaper at waterloo station.
(carlspick profile? Dunne, Sat 11 Jun 2005, 12:24, Reply)

8 packets of chicken supernoodles.

( mugatu, Sat 11 Jun 2005, 10:54, Reply)

Attn: Nagra III
Your firepump has an engine very similar to that of a Hillman Imp. Try the Imp Club for advice. www.theimpclub.co.uk

Yes, i've got one. Two in fact, but one's in bits & the other passed it's MOT yesterday yaaay
(InfiniteZenMaster, Sat 11 Jun 2005, 10:12, Reply)

Absinth. Just say no.
Night out with flatmates a few years back. Got a bit of a hunger on after a few pints and shots of absinth so decided to buy burger and chips from dodgy takeaway. Was too pissed to eat aforementioned meal so, thinking I was being remarkably clever, I put the entire meal in the freezer. Was most confused 5 days later at finding burger and chips in my freezer. Sadly, I still microwaved them. They were foul.
( blindmelon, Sat 11 Jun 2005, 7:41, Reply)

didn't buy, but 'obtained':
Woke up in my hotel room in nottingham with a little yellow sign in my hand with '289' on it - worked out it's one of those signs marking out parking places from an NCP.
( sprinkles ITS AN ISLAND, morron, Sat 11 Jun 2005, 4:18, Reply)

Grey kid,
hasn't that story been all over the news lately? It even made it to the American colonies.............
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Sat 11 Jun 2005, 3:47, Reply)

About a year or so ago,
my best friend and I had a rare night on the piss in Huntington Beach,CA. AS you all know, I'm a brit.
This particular night, I was craving english food, and after a lot of vodka and 7-up, I really fucking wanted sausages, bacon, black pudding, fried eggs, fried toast and baked beans.
So we talk our designated driver into taking me to the English shop 2 miles away where I stocked up on the above mentioned items.
Bangs 'em in the fridge and passed out on the couch.
Woke up the next morning to the nauseating smell of sausages, bacon, fried eggs, black pudding and baked beans..............my hubby had decided to make me breakfast.


I'm 3 sheets to the wind right now, guess what I'm cooking hubby when he comes home? Yup, a full on English breakfast purchased from the English store 2 miles away on my way home from the pub tonight.
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Sat 11 Jun 2005, 3:45, Reply)

feh
I haven't made too many drunk purchases, bought a copy of Complications by Queens of the Stone Age, but it's fucking ace and a quality buy.

Actualy I remember one thing I aquired when very drunk, a pack of that mouth cleaning chewing gum, I woke up the next day after losing my wallet/phone/etc., I have no idea how I got it to this day (nor any other memory of the night)

I tend to make my stupid purchases when sober, giant super stores like tesco extra don't help. "Wow garden tools for only 96p", quark no-fat cheese (tastes like shite), far too many sweet foods (don't shop when hungry or on a sugar low).

Apologies for lack of hummus, I don't really like chick-peas
(gerg, Sat 11 Jun 2005, 3:07, Reply)

A happy tale...
...one night, after several polite drinks... I decided to enter a competition... Top prize was 2 tickets to see Mercury Rev at wherever they happened to play nearest to you... I chose manchester and answered the question correctly.

Fast forward a month and I'd completely forgot I entered the competition.. Evidently I was chosen from the hat and two tickets turned up! Me and a good friend made our trip to Manchester and a great night was had!
( beefandcheese, Sat 11 Jun 2005, 3:01, Reply)

I wouldn't say 'bought' exactly...
You know how they have those 'free glass' offers? Well it just so happened that my dad is the manager at his work place and he managed to gather about 15 people he knows, as well as me and him in a pub. So we sat and we drank and we drank some more, collecting beer glass after beer glass.

I walked home with about 14 beer glasses, one of which I'm drinking from now. Go cheapness!

- So in short, I'm too cheap to actually buy anything other than another pint when I've had too many pints.
(Catfish Ma, why can't I draw? "Because you have fins dear", Sat 11 Jun 2005, 2:25, Reply)

The shit I've bought
Oh, the humanity! And my bank balance. Over the last four years, I have alternatively bought books on astral projection, ASP.NET, and most recently, a Cliff Richard biography (needless to say, this is being given to my gran for her birthday!), random bits of jewellery which I never wear, or the odd rock or mineral (I like collecting rocks). I've bought shoes that are too small, jeans that are too big, and (my personal favourite) a persian rug, which I thought was about 2 feet by 4 feet. It turned out to be about half that. Mind you, my friend (James Kettlewell- hats off to you, you mad pisshead!) bought a plastic fork, with one of the prongs snapped off, for the princely sum of 14p. The kicker is, he then took it on a trip to Japan with him, and now has a photo diary of him at various points on the trip, with lots of Japanese people holding said item of cutlery, with somewhat bemused looks on their faces. Surrealism is alive and well, whilst James Kettlewell walks the Earth.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Sat 11 Jun 2005, 1:44, Reply)

Drunkenly
I bought 5 complete strangers pizzas, and got no thanks at all. strangely enough i never bought myself a pizza
(Haggard, Sat 11 Jun 2005, 1:36, Reply)

Ink
Tattoos. 4 so far, more on the way no doubt. You grow to love 'em eventually.
(glebepointbridge, Sat 11 Jun 2005, 1:34, Reply)

try here
www.cybercandy.co.uk


im ordering while drunk right now


**edit

i just ordered shit loads of stuff
( Terry Oblong There's nobody here but us chickens on, Sat 11 Jun 2005, 1:06, Reply)

well
I was out by King's Cross one night and just felt like a little fun....
( Funtastic Pony Magic, Sat 11 Jun 2005, 0:16, Reply)

But they told me I was special,
I accuse you of nicking material from My Fat Brother.

(that's a book; I'm not talking about my brother. Although he is fat.)
( Bob Todd whee, Fri 10 Jun 2005, 22:57, Reply)

I have bought:
1.) A Broken Motherboard £100
2.) 1024 Megs of RAM (Incompatible with said motherboard) £120
3.) A mixer minus crossfader for £5
4.) A CD mixed by Paul Oakenfold £15
5.) A 400MHz mahoosive Compaq desktop for £25 including 15" monitor which buzzes ominously
6.) Two bass guitar amplifiers (I can't play the guitar) for christ knows how much; one of which electrocuted my mate
7.) A Sure instrument microphone (I don't play any instruments) £60
8.) A mobile for a tenner that only recieves text messages when voicemail is called.
9.) A Swimming pool (5m diameter) which procceded to collapse and flood the garden

I have replaced alky-hol with excessive caffine and tobacco...

Appologies for linear scale factor / poor humour
( Donkey Rhubarb, Fri 10 Jun 2005, 22:35, Reply)

an outragious dummy

(woo who?, Fri 10 Jun 2005, 22:14, Reply)

Penguin
Didn`t exactly buy a penguin, more broke into the local zoo and nicked it with some equally pissed mates.

It was quite a small one we put it in a rucksack.

We put it in the bath at my house and we were all so pleased with ourselves.... Ahh the lovely penguin isn`t it so cute isn`t everyone going to be so envyous that we have a penguin!!

Then we sobered up!!! What the fluck are we gonna do with a penguin and all the penguin shit in my bath.
So we took it to the park, put it in the pond and phoned the police and said we`d found a penguin in the park!!

It made the local paper!!
(Smumps, Fri 10 Jun 2005, 22:05, Reply)

Swearing
I just noticed that rude words such as fuck and cunt are not being edited - I hope you realise that profanity is in no way 'big' and it certainly isnt 'clever'.
(DrTugnut, Fri 10 Jun 2005, 22:04, Reply)

shopping list
some blue die, two condoms, two bananas, five kilos of tesco value chocolate in 500g bars, some pastry (two for one!!!!)

wait no, i wasnt drunk

its a long story
(woo who?, Fri 10 Jun 2005, 22:03, Reply)

Not bought, but sold...
...I once sold a 5 piece drumkit to someone across the road for a fiver and six bottles of Becks. Don't even like Becks.
(Keiths Dad, Fri 10 Jun 2005, 22:01, Reply)

After reading the newsletter
I really hope I don't get too pissed tomorrow night.
(MrC. Having the most boring username on b3ta since 2004, Fri 10 Jun 2005, 21:58, Reply)

Your Mum

( bloojam Is back(ish) in bl3ck, Fri 10 Jun 2005, 21:46, Reply)

.
a fucking blowtorch
(fwack bang on it, Fri 10 Jun 2005, 21:01, Reply)

A 12" Pizza
However, the walk back into town the following night revealed why I woke up with a 'Ryvita' of shit in my pants.

I had gone straight out from work on a godforbidden "drink all you can for £20" night without eating.

On my way home, i decided that i needed to do a poo...behind a metro...in an NCP car park...next to the ticket machine...with an audience.

After being shooed off, i decided to order a 12" pizza, pay for it and walk out of the shop without it...

I wasn't drunk when i was showering down my back the following morning
(freddybloggspooh Smash!, Fri 10 Jun 2005, 20:53, Reply)

.
i got the beer munchies and brought 30 quids worth of chinese for my self but in true beer munchies fasion couldnt eat my moneys worth.
(fwack bang on it, Fri 10 Jun 2005, 20:39, Reply)

My domain name
I'm still lumbered with it, five years on....
(qwghlm, Fri 10 Jun 2005, 20:31, Reply)

Move Beer
Enough Said
(mrtinybrain, Fri 10 Jun 2005, 20:13, Reply)

Didn’t buy, um found on the floor somewhere.
It was a drunken night like any other and we had the usual 4 or 5(million) mile walk home. I found this gorgeous headscarf. I couldn’t believe my luck. All my friends were trying to get me to chuck it back on the floor where I found it, but I knew that’s just because they wanted it for themselves. Selfish fuckers. So anyway to cut a long story short I woke up with the most minging ripped smelly shirt on my head. Yes folks my lovely head scarf that complemented my traffic cone on my head so well the night before had turned into a rancid smelly rag.

Tragic!!!!
(xlux, Fri 10 Jun 2005, 17:49, Reply)