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This is a question First World Problems

Onemunki says: We live in a world of genuine tragedy, starvation and terror. So, after hearing stories of cruise line passengers complaining at the air conditioning breaking down, what stories of sheer single-minded self-pity get your goat?

(, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 12:00)
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This might just be me...
There is one thing in the entire world that makes my skin crawl. Every time it happens I'm torn between retching involuntarily and punching someone in the face (voluntarily). I need to know if I'm alone.

It's people who I don't know touching me when they're talking to me. You know what I mean. What they think is a reassuring touch on the hand or a friendly pat on the arm. It is VILE. I recoil in horror every time some stranger that I have chosen to converse with does it. In fact, it extends to anyone I don't know touching me. I won't get on a bus or a train in case someone sits next to me and there's arm to arm contact. It sends shudders down my spine. Strangers should be kept at a generous arm's length at all times. Some bloke leant over me in a shop queue once to pick something up from the shelf in front of me and I nearly had a fit.

Am I weird?
(, Tue 6 Mar 2012, 19:25, 42 replies)
Are you
made of ham?
(, Tue 6 Mar 2012, 19:28, closed)
Not at all
Every morning, before leaving the house, I smear my hands and arms in my own body fluids then spend the day casually touching strangers.

Lots of us do it.
(, Tue 6 Mar 2012, 19:29, closed)
"Lots of us do it."!
Like some kind of semi-organised underground organisation.
Theorise with that, oh conspiracy theorists ;)
(, Tue 6 Mar 2012, 19:36, closed)

Occasionally there are people like Petite Chien who subconsciously realise what's happening to them when they get touched. We call them 'feelers', most people don't react at all.
(, Tue 6 Mar 2012, 19:50, closed)
I'd love to be known as a "feeler"!!
(, Tue 6 Mar 2012, 20:19, closed)
well that's no fun at all.

(, Tue 6 Mar 2012, 20:59, closed)

(, Tue 6 Mar 2012, 22:58, closed)

(, Tue 6 Mar 2012, 22:58, closed)

(, Tue 6 Mar 2012, 22:57, closed)
Buy yourself a giant hamster ball so noone can touch you.
Once you're inside it get someone to seal it airtight so the germs can't get in.
(, Tue 6 Mar 2012, 19:55, closed)
Can't get in?
The human body is a seething mass of bacteria, literally 10s of millions every square cm, and don't get me started on the mucous membranes.

Basically we're all waking petri-dishes stuffed full of billions of bacteria biding their time til the day they can finally consume us completely.
(, Tue 6 Mar 2012, 20:00, closed)
It's really so the air can't get in.
(, Tue 6 Mar 2012, 20:02, closed)
Sounds like it has a leak.

(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 8:45, closed)

(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 11:34, closed)
I love how many people assume this a germ phobia
It really isn't. I'm not so worried about getting ill or catching things. I just hate people I don't know touching me.
(, Tue 6 Mar 2012, 20:21, closed)

(, Tue 6 Mar 2012, 20:26, closed)
There there
*pats on head*
(, Tue 6 Mar 2012, 20:28, closed)
I'm similar, but not as bad.
If I'm not related to someone, or dating them, then shaking hands is about as much touching as I'm comfortable with.
I don't mind so much about Bumping into people on public transport as long as we're wearing coats or something -- touching bear arms with a stranger is weird.
(, Tue 6 Mar 2012, 20:33, closed)
No hot dates then

(, Tue 6 Mar 2012, 22:07, closed)
It's never come up, so I don't know.

(, Tue 6 Mar 2012, 23:19, closed)

the bear doesn't like it either
(, Tue 6 Mar 2012, 23:11, closed)
I know, they're scary bastards too.

(, Tue 6 Mar 2012, 23:20, closed)
*Gives a reassuring back rub*
*breathes heavily*
(, Tue 6 Mar 2012, 20:57, closed)
*punches in the face*

(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 13:43, closed)
you're wierd
(, Tue 6 Mar 2012, 21:33, closed)
If you are, so am I.
Can't stand folk invading my personal space.
(, Tue 6 Mar 2012, 21:59, closed)
This is exactly it
Personal space. Why can't people respect it?!
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 13:43, closed)
There used to be a man in our local
he always made a point of coming over and doing that thing where they hold your forearm with one hand and place the other on your upper arm. After three months of this i still didn't know who he was so in a packed pub i shouted "Why don't you fuck off and touch someone else "
Went really quiet for a while
(, Tue 6 Mar 2012, 23:21, closed)
I used to work in shops. Fucking freaks shop in shops.
Walking up and touching me with their fucking clammy hooves.
One guy once grabbed me by the bicep, asking for digestives or some other shit, I said "no worries, just let go of my arm and I'll show you there..." (I said this cos I was practically wedged against a freezer and couldn't go anywhere without him letting go).
"yeah, but where are they?"
"If you let go of my arm I'll show you"
"yeah digestives, can you tell me where they are?"

It was at this point I dropped my shoulder and wrenched my arm out his grip, there may have been swearing and I said "this way". The guy then spent 5 seconds staring at his hand as if he hadn't noticed he'd been holding on to me like a fucking psycho over some biscuits.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 0:05, closed)
No and yes.
No, in that I also loathe people I don't know (and some people that I do know) touching me - whether it's a friendly pat on the back or a ruffle of my hair. However, hating it to the extent that you won't get on public transport because you might potentially have non-deliberate arm-to-arm contact is a bit strange...
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 10:32, closed)
I will actually get on public transport if I have to
It's just not relaxing. Especially as I don't trust other people to drive. Wow, I really am a freak...
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 13:45, closed)
My guess is you were raped by someone,
and you've repressed the memory. A little therapy should bring it out, and then depending on your strength of character, suicide, or strings of failed relationships followed by suicide.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 11:08, closed)

(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 11:20, closed)
I'm a scientist
We *all* have this.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 13:45, closed)

It's the people who come around whilst you're asleep and wipe their bare arm across your forehead that should be of concern to you.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 11:33, closed)

bare arm cock
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 11:36, closed)
I can see where you're coming from, but it bothers you far more than me...
There was a guy I worked with who every time he came over to talk to me touched me, rested his hand on my shoulder, rubbed my back (seriously, what the FUCK?!) and made me feel really really uncomfortable...

I emailed him in the end and asked him ever so politely to stop it
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 11:40, closed)
Good plan
Shame I can't email the whole world and ask them to stop it.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 13:46, closed)
Have you tried sending an email to [email protected]?
It might work...
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 14:41, closed)
if I promise everyone a larger penis in the same email, they'll listen...
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 18:32, closed)
That's a brilliant idea, everyone will be BOUND to pay attention!
I can't believe no-one has thought of this before
(, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:18, closed)

(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 14:21, closed)

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