b3ta.com qotw
You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Home » Question of the Week » B3TA fixes the world » Post 1371865 | Search
This is a question B3TA fixes the world

Moon Monkey says: Turn into Jeremy Clarkson for a moment, and tell us about the things that are so obviously wrong with the world, and how they should be fixed. Extra points for ludicrous over-simplification, blatant mis-representation, and humourous knob-gags.

(, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 12:53)
Pages: Latest, 16, 15, 14, 13, 12, ... 1

« Go Back

Stop democracy now.
And none of that poncy "ooh, it's the worst system apart from all the others" bollocks neither - it's a shit excuse.

I don't know how anyone who has read comments on the internet could honestly think that all these wilfully ignorant, self-serving, prejudiced, skeptical, entitled plebs should be allowed the vote.

I mean, there's no restrictions on even the most demonstrably stupid - even the thickest person in the country is allowed to determine the fate of the whole planet.

Successful political parties pander to people's prejudices, ignorance, vanity and shallowness, and frankly, the bastards have a lot less qualms about gaming the system than the idealists.

Everyone knows what the proper alternative is: in Star Trek, the advanced civilisations were always led by a group of bearded wise men who usually communicated telepathically. This is definitely the answer.

PS. Off the top of my head, some candidates for bearded wise men: Daniel Dennett, Alan Moore, David Attenborough (would need to grow beard), Rowan Williams (I quite like him), Neil de Grasse Tyson (moustache counts), erm... Seasick Steve?
(, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 15:16, 24 replies)
I like the cut of your gib,
though the obvious problem is that those whose telepathic communications would be the wisest are among the least likely to believe in its possibility.

Rowan Williams is a case in point: he thinks that telepathy is possible, inasmuch as he believes that an invisible man lives in the sky and can see his thoughts. And that's not really a good start, is it?
(, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 15:19, closed)
I always suspected that Rowan Williams, like many C of E types
is secretly agnostic.

I remember when he first got the job, some years ago now, he came out criticising Disney and praising the Simpsons. I thought, "now there's a religious leader I can get on board with. I hope he's secretly agnostic".
(, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 15:23, closed)
I can't believe
you overlooked Brian Blessed.
(, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 15:26, closed)
I... I... I don't know what happened there
of course, we'd need Brian to be the voice of the council.

"CITIZENS! HEAR OUR DECREES!"
(, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 15:28, closed)
Pardon?

(, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 15:29, closed)
keyboard fumble
and yet they still let me vote. Crazy huh?
(, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 15:36, closed)
There's nowt wrong
with a fumble.
(, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 15:48, closed)
I'd want him to announce the demise of our most recent ex-Prime Minister
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN? GORDON'S NOT ALIVE?"
(, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 15:55, closed)
Absolutely no smiley beardy men
you can't trust a smiley beardy man, or take them seriously for that matter.
(, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 15:36, closed)
And Bill Bailey too
Kind of mucking about at the back, doing a song at half time...
(, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 15:43, closed)
I'd vote for Seasick Steve!
The county would be a lot more laid back, that's for sure.
(, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 15:48, closed)
No voting!
It's not a democracy you know.
(, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 16:28, closed)
Rick Wakeman as well

(, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 16:01, closed)
Too grumpy.

(, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 16:43, closed)
I wholeheartedly agree:
www.b3ta.com/questions/fixtheworld/post1363095
(, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 16:05, closed)
That definitely gets a click
Would be great to trial the system in America. First question: "define socialism".
(, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 16:15, closed)
As I asked a previous poster.
Please point me to a modern-day democracy. I'd be interested to know where there is one.
(, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 16:35, closed)
United Kingdom
There. Done.

EDIT: Hey - come back! I was baiting you! I want an argument goddammit!
(, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 16:36, closed)
Weimar Republic was about as democratic as you can get.
And then the economy collapsed... etc.
(, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 16:43, closed)
The UK's not a democracy though.
It's a constitutional monarchy with a supposed representative democracy. But since we're not actually able to vote for the party we want, only one of three, it can't really be called a democracy.
(, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 17:15, closed)
You can vote for any party you like
And if you've got £500 you can start your own party and vote for yourself. The fact that it's not worth it just means we have a shit voting system, but that hardly disqualifies it as a democracy.

They offered you lot AV, and you turned it down - so you can no longer piss and moan about the dominance of a few parties. And that's another reason democracy is shit: the tyranny of the majority.
(, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:46, closed)
That sounds a bit anti-intellectual and Bolshevist to me.
Surely it'd be better to have a place for everyone and everyone in their place, and make up some kind of tax and insurance that prices the lower castes out of voting? Get some academic yes-men to justify it by knocking out some cobblers about the recession or national security, and Bob's your uncle.

Plus, as the UK's a largely unskilled pen-pusher economy, creating and maintaining this system would create lots of new jobs.
(, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 18:48, closed)
how did you forget the winner of bearded men....
Brian Blessed!

"GORDON'S ELECTED?"
(, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 21:53, closed)
I've been saying for years.....
.. democracy's too good for some people!

I have turned into my parents.
(, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 0:59, closed)

« Go Back

Pages: Latest, 16, 15, 14, 13, 12, ... 1