I'm 25
I go to the mall, I freak out when I see these girls dressed as little whores, then it turns out most of them are in fact 18 (or at the least 17, and close to?). They make me angry. My daughter's 4, I don't want her dressing like that in 10 years.

I realized that other people much older than me are just having their first child, etc. I already have a four year old.

I'm on my second marriage.

I go out for a smoke at college, and realize that most of the kids there smoking alongside me are about 8 years younger than I am.

Our professor asked if anyone knew who David Byrne was. I eagerly raised my hand only to turn round and discover that I was the only one, and that not even mention of the "Talking Heads" raised any sparks of recognition in these people.

I *know* I was only born in '79, but I have a friend who was born in '84, and it freaks me out for her to mention it. She's no longer allowed to do so.

On the bright side, I get carded for *everything*. On the downside, I also get hit on by 15 year olds, to whom I politely explain that "I'm AN ENTIRE DECADE OLDER THAN YOU, GO AWAY!!" *sob*

On the downside, I'm losing the ability to pass off dumb mistakes as immaturity/naivete. On the bright side, I'm too young yet to pass it off on senility.
(Ecclesia, Thu 28 Oct 2004, 17:06, Reply)

Every time I yawn
I feel the need to do it in some sort of tune. I told someone the other day that 'the nights are drawing in'. I talk to the television. I've started playing squash.

There is no hope for me.
(JamScones, Thu 28 Oct 2004, 17:04, Reply)

Incidentally....
While reading these messages it's struck me that there seems to be an awful lot of blokes who are shagging women at least 10 years younger than themselves - me included! Current G/F is 15 years younger than me.

So, out of all us old farts, who has the biggest age-gap between themselves and their current Sperm-Receptacle (SR) or Sperm-Donor (SD)?

(Bonus points if you can tell me them name of the news group which regularly uses SR and SD when talking about bed partners)

Legless
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Thu 28 Oct 2004, 17:03, Reply)

Baffling...
I'm reading these (being 19 and in my first year at uni) and realising how old I feel! I read private eye, drink bitter and copius amounts of tea, think its disgusting how the youth of today behave, look on in disgust when people haven't heard of Dangermouse or Thundercats... and I listen to Radio 2! I'm actually pretty scared!
( mr_wicksy is.... old., Thu 28 Oct 2004, 17:02, Reply)

I buy the Times.
I don't skip straight to the sports section in the paper anymore, now it's Letters to the Editor.

I get drunk on three pints of beer, I can feel the effects of the first.

My justification for not buying an RX8 is that my Peugeot 106 is cheaper to run. I got more excited about exceeding 65 MPG in my car than 100 MPH.

I listen to 5 live at work and don't turn off when it's time for Prime Minister's Questions.

I've been to one club this year and hated every second of it.

I worry whether I'm saving enough in my pension.

I've been in my current job longer than I spent doing both my A-Levels and my degree, I have no intention of leaving it.

[edit]

I've considered taking up golf as a hobby "to get outside more".
( wheresthefish Partly filled with wrong, Thu 28 Oct 2004, 17:01, Reply)

I know I'm getting old
cos the hair that used to sit on top of my head is going back inside and re-emerging from my back, shoulders, ears and nose.

And I find most of the CDs I want in the '2 for £5' rack in HMV.

And my daughter is in her second year at school and I seem to have lost the last 5 years altogether.

I think I need euthanasia.....
(Digireedoo Fuck off Zuowan, Thu 28 Oct 2004, 16:59, Reply)

I have a guilty secret...
I receive the weekly Gardening Bulletin e-mail from the Daily Telegraph.......

and what is more I print it out and read it.


(hanging my aging head in shame)
(Hazy, Thu 28 Oct 2004, 16:58, Reply)

Who the fuck are Green Day?
need I say more?
(Chillumm, Thu 28 Oct 2004, 16:54, Reply)

I'm 22 years of age
I keeping checking my balls for cancer.
My neck sounds like a monkey wrench when I turn my head.
I used to run my monitor at 1600x1200. I had to recuce the resolution and move the monitor closer to my eyes because I think I'm going blind.
I can't sleep all day long at the weekends. I feel compelled to get up and 'potter' about town.
Wine gives me a headache.
More than 3 pints gets me pissed.
I recently bought a suit and cut my short short.

Hurrah for me.
(fearnation, Thu 28 Oct 2004, 16:53, Reply)

Getting Very Old.
At the ripe old age of forty-(cough) I'm in the middle of my first divorce and have to start all over again after seeing everything I owned given to a fat slapper who's never worked a full day in her life.

Then again, I've the rest of my life ahead of me without been dragged down by a fat snobby cow who shags anything that moves (and anything to drunk to move)

As I'm now living on my own I had to fill a council tax rebate form in (you get a %25 reduction for living on your own). In the section wher you had to put:
Reason for living by yourself... I put:

Wife couldn't keep her knickers up.

I've heard that this form is now pinned on the notice board at the local council offices - sadly with the names of the guilty party tipexed out. - Sweet.

As I'm writing this I suppose I may as well confess the reason why we split. I found out she was shagging a copper. Now that's bad enough but it was a fecking TRAFFIC copper!!


The shame................


Cheers

Legless - No apology for length and extremely proud of my girth that can choke an elephant.
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Thu 28 Oct 2004, 16:47, Reply)

I read the paper from the front
instead of going straight to the sport section like a normal person. Also I think I'm starting to like Rod Stewart.

And I'm only 18.
(nN, Thu 28 Oct 2004, 16:46, Reply)

When you realise that your heroes are mere mortals
most recently, John Peel.

Also, Knights of the realm when I was a boy were stuffy old gits we'd never heard of. Now, people who were rock stars when we were kids are knighted.
( <>Dog www.stevelaker.blog, Thu 28 Oct 2004, 16:45, Reply)

Gaming
I don't like doing anything fun at all. I went and bought a computer game the other day. What did I get? MS Flight Simulator 2004. Why? Because it's really difficult.

I also stopped watching TV programs hoping to get a glimpse of muff, but now hope to get a glimpse of insight.

Not only do I stop drinking before I puke - I even stop drinking BEFORE I'M PISSED!

I go to bed before 10.30 most nights (I haven't done that since I was 9).

First question I ask my friends when we see each other after a while is 'Hey, where are you working now?'

My favourite films are turning up in the sale rack at HMV.

Apologies for length, but after all these years, everything's starting to stretch and droop and sag.

Edit: And getting up extra early so I can avoid the rush on the tube and have a seat all the way to work. Or am I confusing Old with Anal?
(Benjimawoo, Thu 28 Oct 2004, 16:44, Reply)

i was just on the phone
to my good friend anna, and she kept forgetting things i was saying... bet she feels old...
(notjustahatrack peeling a sausage..., Thu 28 Oct 2004, 16:43, Reply)

I
go "mnnngh" when I sit down. I bake bread. When I eat hot food I have started to go "mmngh" as I chew it. I snore, I drink wine when I go out. I have to use Ibuleve after I skate.

Bollox
( theWooinator, Thu 28 Oct 2004, 16:42, Reply)

I'm 16 years old...
I agree with almost everything that they say on Grumpy Old Men.

I have my dad's music taste (70's/80's rock). It's much better than that hip-hop shit that most teenagers like.

I don't drink for the sake of getting pissed. In fact, it's pretty rare that I drink.

I hate spending money on clothes (though I am still at the age where I can con my mum into buying them).

And I want to destroy MacDonalds. For ever. Blow it off the face of the earth. I havn't eaten fast food for years.

Ooo just remembered some more. On the rare occasion that I now use Instant Messenger, I type properly.

I know how to use the semi-colon.

I read on the toilet.

My little sister's just turned 10. Soon she'll be cooler than me (if she isn't already).

I like wearing a suit.

I've started to find shaving a chore.

I read books. For fun. More than I play computer games (though if I got a new computer that might change).

I think football is dull.

On 1/2 term, I'm posting on b3ta and getting my 1/2 term prep out of the way instead of being down the boozer with my mates.

I have conversations with my parents.

I read broadsheet newspapers (though not business or editorial yet).

I recently attended one of my dad's business meetings (we were going to see my ailing grandmother, but he had to go to a meeting on the way... oh stop making excuses).

I was better dressed than some people there.

I cheer/groan more loudly at the news than I do at the football.

So there.
(Mr_Jums, Thu 28 Oct 2004, 16:41, Reply)

When you have to keep changing
the 'slang' words you use, because no one knows what you're talking about.
For example, back in the day we used to say 'cacker' (or 'gypo', or 'pikey'). None of this 'chav' nonsense - pah, the word was years from being conceived!
Also, I feel old when I hear kids talking in ridiculous 'jive' talk. I was at a bus stop recently and overheard a 'youth' asking another 'youth', "do you wanna step with me?"
Ah, that's nice I thought - they just want to have a bit of a dance to pass the time!
I then realised he was enquiring whether his acquaintance was 'spoiling for a rumble or not'! Ah, how it tickled me!

Edit: oh and 'putting' everything 'in' inverted 'commas'...
(littlerichardsmustache, Thu 28 Oct 2004, 16:37, Reply)

i feel old...
i have chronic back pains, have to take melatonin to sleep naturally, and have quite a few greys on the old noggin...

and i use words like noggin...

i'm 16 years old *cries to self...*

EDIT: just seen captain steptoe underneath... should we be going into bussiness or something?
(notjustahatrack peeling a sausage..., Thu 28 Oct 2004, 16:36, Reply)

this website
Just saw that I've been a member for 3 years, 24 days and 36 seconds.
Christ.
( mrbrong, Thu 28 Oct 2004, 16:34, Reply)

I'm 18
I still have my whole life ahead of me

Furthermore, I believe that this question of the week is age sensitive, and is only pointed at old ageing B3tans,

*cries*
(Human, Thu 28 Oct 2004, 16:34, Reply)

I'm 21...
...and my sister is 14.

I think she wears far too little clothing and I constantly ask her if she 'wants a skirt with that belt?".

They are too short, I tell you!!!!

Plus i'm 21 years of age and I own 2 sofa's and various floor cushions...:S

I also HATE modern music and its just crap. No talent required.

I also once cut out an article from a magazine to give to a friend as I thought they would find it interesting. MY NAN DOES THAT!

And i've got a drawer in the kitchen just for the plastic bags I feel the need to collect.
(Mogg Questioned her own sanity on, Thu 28 Oct 2004, 16:33, Reply)

oh yeah,
and i hate kids who write everything in "txt speak". U thnk ur so kewl, but u suk. Learn to spell!
(albatross! aka Rameses Niblick III Kerplunk kerplunk - whoops, where's my thribble?, Thu 28 Oct 2004, 16:32, Reply)

I've discovered an appreciation of good quality furniture.

( evil_andy Stick stick stick stick sticky sticky stick stick, Thu 28 Oct 2004, 16:32, Reply)

part quatre
I've just checked most posting for spelling mistakes and then corrected them!
(Taff135, Thu 28 Oct 2004, 16:30, Reply)

My wife tells me....
"you sound just like your father"

my entire family, cousins, uncles, aunties etc. say

"you look just like your father"

One day, I'm expecting someone to tell me

"Stu, you are your father"
(stuicey, Thu 28 Oct 2004, 16:30, Reply)

You know you're getting old
When all your favourite music turns up on "classic" or "old skool" compilations. I stare in disbelief at the telly, exclaiming "that can't be old skool, I remember buying that the first time round!"
(albatross! aka Rameses Niblick III Kerplunk kerplunk - whoops, where's my thribble?, Thu 28 Oct 2004, 16:29, Reply)

Oh God I'm old, part trois
Reading everyone elses replies and nodding my head in agreement.

Being informed by my best mate's girlfriend that he has bum grapes and then having a serious conversation with him about what remedies exist.

In my day exams were a lot tougher - it's true!

I take work seriously - (ffs)

Recently dated a girl that had just started primary school when I left secondary school.

My village seems to have been taken over by chavs. They hang around the off-licence trying to get me to buy them alcohol and lean against their cars because they think they looks cool (is this word still appropriate in this context?). In my day, my mate looked old enough to get served AND Ford Escorts (mark II and III) were real proper cars.
(Taff135, Thu 28 Oct 2004, 16:28, Reply)

I don't like the music in the charts and haven't for years. I detest bad spelling and grammar, and use words like detest. Most teenagers annoy me. I feel hatred towards smilies and the morons who use them. I enjoy watching the news, and not just because it makes me laugh.

What makes it so much worse is that I'm not even 20 yet.
(MooCow_Byter, Thu 28 Oct 2004, 16:27, Reply)

Ready to retire....?
I drive a diesel car for the economy.
Given up on clubs cos they're too noisy and don't play decent music.
Started listening to 5 Live and for the news and current affairs as much as the sport.
Policemen look young thesedays.
When I go out drinking I know when to stop before i'm sick.
(MrJelly, Thu 28 Oct 2004, 16:24, Reply)

Been listening to a lot of Green Day recently...
Especially The Grouch:

"I was a young boy that had big plans.
Now I'm just another shitty old man.
I don't have fun and I hate everything.
The world owes me, so fuck you.

Glory days don't mean shit to me,
I drank a six pack of apathy.
Life's a bitch and so am I.
The world owes me, so fuck you.

Wasted youth and a fistful of ideals.
I had a young and optimisitic point of view.
Wasted youth and a fistful of ideals.
I had a young and optimisitic point of view.

I've decomposed, yet my gut's getting fat.
Oh my god I'm turning out like my dad.
I'm always rude. I've got a bad attitude.
The world owes me, so fuck you.

The wife's a nag and the kid's fucking up.
I don't have sex `cause i can't get it up.
I'm just a grouch sitting on the couch.
The world owes me, so fuck you

Wasted youth and a fistful of ideals.
I had a young and optimisitic point of view.
Wasted youth and a fistful of ideals.
I had a young and optimisitic point of view.

I was a young boy that had big plans.
Now I'm just another shitty old man.
I don't have fun and I hate everything.
The worlds owes me, so fuck you.

Glory days don't mean shit to me,
I drank a six pack of apathy.
Life's a bitch and so am I.
The world owes me, so fuck you.
The world owes me, so fuck you.
The world owes me. So Fuck You."

Not all of it's applicable but it's a vision of a future that don't seem so far away any more.
( calgacus Non sum qualis eram bonae sub regno Cynarae, Thu 28 Oct 2004, 16:21, Reply)