THIS QUESTION

CONFUSES AND ANGERS ME!
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Thu 25 Feb 2010, 17:16, Reply)

Harry Potter

What a load of rubbish. Ridiculously far-fetched.

Imagine, a ginger kid with two friends - never gonna happen

Cheers

Not one of mine - heard this years back but can't remember who it was from......
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Thu 25 Feb 2010, 17:14, 2 replies)

My girlfriend is a ginger
She dyes her hair a dark brown so therefore hides her shame. However when her roots start to show one of her friends has given her the nickname, "Tiger stripe".
(wehttamman via B3ta for microwave, Thu 25 Feb 2010, 17:09, Reply)

There was a ginger haired kid at my junior school.
He looked odds on to play the role of Gingerbreadman in the infants play.
He didn't.
I did.
Because I was the smallest.
Pwned.
( stopmeandslapme Cometh the hour, cometh your mum, Thu 25 Feb 2010, 17:08, Reply)

I put some ginger in a flower pot to see if it would grow.
It didn't.
( stopmeandslapme Cometh the hour, cometh your mum, Thu 25 Feb 2010, 17:05, Reply)

I'm red haired...
It's always bash a ginger day where I work... every single fucking day...

ha ha ha ha fucking hardy hah ha.... it's not funny you boring arseholes....

responses to witty comments include...
'do you have a bit of ginger in you??... would you like some...'
'You'll all be wearing it next year..'
and the timeless classic...'fuck off you sad twat before I chin you'

stereotypical short tempered gingernut? perhaps but at least I'm not deeply predjudiced hidden behind a thin veil of humour.... try replacing the word ginger for any ethnic culture and see the uproar......fucking non ginger tossers...the lot of you

But I have done my bit for the ginger army by knocking out 5 gingerish sprogs.

Ginger abuse is possibly the last form of socially acceptable discrimination..It's not big and it's not clever.. grow up and stop it...
(TROLLING AWAY living under a post ironic bridge, Thu 25 Feb 2010, 17:03, 3 replies)

Protest Anecdote
My daughter got her first tooth today - she's spent all morning feeling it with her tongue and blowing rapsberries. Makes me smile and takes my mind of this awful QOTW.

Yes, I've slept with a few redheads in my life - my wife is one, too - but in my experience, they're no dirtier than any other girl I have danced the horizontal mambo with.

Girls with tattoos, single mums or pagan lasses - those are, from past experience, sure-fire cases where you'll find your nuts drained to the size of raisins when you get them going, but I find the posts that say all redheads are dirty are basically the same as saying all black girls hate giving oral or all chinese girls hate taking it up the wrong 'un - it'll depend purely on the girl and purely on how they feel about you.

This kind of stereotyping leads to discrimination and I think this QOTW is like watching Alf Garnett without the irony or the scrptwriting.

Is the best that b3ta can come up with a variant on Bernard Manning's "eh, them darkies are funny" style of humour? I thought this site was supposed to have some wit to it...?
(Chad, Thu 25 Feb 2010, 16:54, 6 replies)

I've got quite dark brown hair
and when I was living in Argentina I acquired the nickname "Blondie", like Clint in The Good, The Bad and The Ugly, on account of being blonder than everyone else, even if only by a shade. This made me especially happy.

My missus is ginger, though.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 25 Feb 2010, 16:53, Reply)

My ginger haired friend and her baby.
So a couple of years ago, a few of my mates and myself go out to a party. One of my friends was called Terri (for that was her name), and she is the gingered haired heroine of this story.

It was at this party she met a fella. He was a nice guy and all, called Neil. She and him fell very much in love. Despite some of her family (mostly her brother) not liking him...the reason for their dislike. He was an African.

A year and a bit later they were Engaged and then the bombshell hit. She was pregnant, by Neil. So we went around theirs for a congrats party and the like. Her brother turned up and I sat in the middle between him and Neil. (My friends called me Benvolio, cos I usually am the one trying to keep the peace, but I digress)

So after a couple of drinks, and the atmosphere between her brother and Neil nonexistent.

Terri says about names for the child and that her and Neil haven’t got a good one in mind. “Has anyone got any ideas?”

Her brother goes, “Terry with a Y.”
“Why’s that?”
He goes, “Because it’s Terry’s Chocolate Orange”

Length? 6 months and she still hasn’t forgiven him. Neil laughed tho. And to be honest so did I.
(Dante licked your nipple on, Thu 25 Feb 2010, 16:47, 4 replies)

Whilst I wait for the tumbleweed to pass,
I don't have a ginger anecdote, lets try for baldness instead.

Up in 'big smoke' in the back of a taxi with my sister, bored, she decides to play a game. Seeing a bald guy on the street she blurts out loudly,
"Let's see how many baldies we can see!"
I remember something... turn slowly around, (I was on the fold down seat) to gesture at the driver, who, with the partition open, was looking rather shiftily in the rear view mirror at us. Completely bald.



Well, what did you expect. I had to dig deep even for that one.
Try the veal. I won't be here all week.
( Blind Meach Cautiously optimistic, Thu 25 Feb 2010, 16:47, 6 replies)

What's the difference between a ginger minge and a cricket ball?
If you try really really really fucking hard you can just about manage to eat a cricket ball!
Ha ha ha ha ha!
Seriously, I once dated a ginger lass, and I wasn't completely horrified by the colour of her hair, and, despite the fact that I could shave them off if I choose to, I currently sport a ginger beard and sideburns, even though I'm blond. I CHOOSE TO SHOW GINGER HAIR!! RUN FOR THE HILLS!!
Ginger jokes just aren't funny.
Except for mine up there. That one is.
(Paolo Nutini's Bikini Better than Frederick Fleet's optometrist, Thu 25 Feb 2010, 16:42, 3 replies)

Redheads. Oh my.
Seriously, I don't understand what the English seem to have against people with red hair. Over here they're considered to be pretty hot, and there's a segment of the porn industry dedicated to them.

I had a girlfriend once named Maud who had brilliant orange-red hair that was shoulder length and curly, freckles across her cheekbones, bright green eyes, a nicely rounded butt and huge boobs with a narrow waist in between. Flat-out gorgeous, like a fantasy version of what an Irish lass should look like. Only she wasn't Irish at all.

She was Russian Jewish. And her family did NOT approve of me, as I'm about as WASP as you can get.

And now, every time I hear someone going on about gingers I think back on her and wonder: what the fuck is wrong with that?!?

EDIT: because she has a very unusual name, I was able to find her through Google and have re-established contact. It will be fascinating to find out what has happened to her over these past years...
( Wanderer, Thu 25 Feb 2010, 16:40, 2 replies)

I think this QOTW is going to irk me more that the “Schadenfreude – AKA laughing at people” question
I hate rude people; I don’t tolerate it from my staff or my clients. If you have ever said something offensive or obscene to someone because of the colour of their hair, you are a nasty little peasant.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 25 Feb 2010, 16:36, Reply)

I love Gingers.
And that copper coloured ones make me all sweaty and hot under the collar.
I've had 2 Ginger "buddies" and they are without a doubt the dirtiest girls I've ever encountered.
Coincidence? Maybe.
( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 25 Feb 2010, 16:29, Reply)

Adore redheaded women. Would go to prison for Christina Hendricks.
Redheads are absolutely the most gorgeous creatures alive. Problem is, I've never actually met one, or not a real one anyway. People think I'm weird 'cos I'm adamant the sexiest one in Girls Aloud is the pasty, translucent one.

Love 'em. Can't help it. Just one of them things, I guess...
(Billy The Fish wants to gargle with Lucy Pinder's bath water, Thu 25 Feb 2010, 16:24, 5 replies)

Saw a ginger lass in a bar...
...and my mate bet me a drink to go ask her if the curtains matched the carpets.

Result:

*slap*

(though felt smug 'cos I got a free drink).
(satanstolemyteddybear Mu hõljuk on angerjaid täis, Thu 25 Feb 2010, 16:12, Reply)

Of rum and an old salty dog.
When I was a young Porky I was a Ginger. There, I’ve said it. But when I was about ten my mum gave me some money and sent me to a different hairdresser to have my haircut (the usual bloke was on holiday). Do you remember those bowl cuts from the old Hovis adverts? Yup, I ended up with one of those. Looked like a complete tard. So she shaved the lot off. And it grew back very dark brown (must have been the trauma).

Wibbly lines to a 24 year old porky who had just met his future wife and had been invited to her 21st birthday party, meeting the family for the first time. I knew I had to make myself presentable and decided getting the hair done was necessary. Unfortunately I didn’t have sufficient funds for pressy, booze and a hair do so I asked my sister (a hairdressers apprentice) to have a go. I got one of the best haircuts I’ve ever had and that’s when I should have stopped. But I didn’t. My sense of tonsorial adventure knew no bounds so I asked her to dye it a rather fetching magenta\burgundy colour. With my hair being so dark it had to be bleached first before applying the requisite colour. Unbeknown to me sis hadn’t done this very often and left the bleach a little too long. On applying the dye it turned ginger. Not a dark titian red or light hint of strawberry blonde. Oh no. This was DURACELL RED. A copper colour top.

I’d already sorted the outfit (black leather jeans, black leather waistcoat, wing collar shirt and black bow-tie). Absolutely stunning if I say so myself. On turning up at the do her mam and dad handled it very well. A polite how do you do and nice to meet you. Not granddad. In his inimitable sailor’s growl he said

“What the FUCK is that?”
“Your granddaughter’s boyfriend.” I said “Pleased to meet you, you old bastard.”
“Want some rum?” He said.
“Why Aye!” I replied.

And from that day on we drank lots of rum together and he told me many fine stories.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 25 Feb 2010, 15:55, Reply)

One of my closest friends
is going out with a gorgeous redhead, and has been for the last few years.

I think she's brilliant, and we get on really well, but she probably wouldn't be particularly happy if she knew that we've given her boyfriend the nickname "Captain Redbeard" on account of what it probably looks like when he's *ahem* down there.

He thinks it's hilarious.
(Sloppy Giuseppe, Thu 25 Feb 2010, 15:55, Reply)

When I was being born
My Dad said to my Mum "I don't care what it is, or what's wrong with it, how many limbs its got, as long as it doesn't have ginger hair like your fucking sister."

Out I popped with a MASS OF GINGER GLORY.

Sorry, Dad (not really).

Dktr S
(Dr Skagra glorious glargzhem, Thu 25 Feb 2010, 15:49, Reply)

What do you call a ginger guy up to his elbows in pussy ?
A vet
( SpankyHanky, Thu 25 Feb 2010, 15:29, 2 replies)

Protest Anecdote
Although not particularly amusing in itself, I did snigger when my ten year old nephew was on the 'phone to his mother's boyfriend yesterday and, presumably in response to a childish insult said "No! You're a Gayer! AND a Gay-Lord!"

I was so of him proud at that moment I beamed.
( Funkenschlag still likes dogs more than cats, Thu 25 Feb 2010, 15:26, 3 replies)

Aliens, the lot of em
Should be bottle fed with a shotgun.



/provocative
(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Thu 25 Feb 2010, 15:25, 1 reply)

This is better than Nativity Plays
But only just.
(McChinaman banned, Thu 25 Feb 2010, 15:25, 1 reply)

It’s difficult being ginger
It’s difficult being ginger. I should know; I have black hair. That’s because I dyed it, because it was ginger.
I’d say being ginger was as bad as being black. I should know, because I’m black. Thank god I don’t have ginger hair though! Luckily, it’s black because I dyed it.
(Spaff_Quaffer Wise fwom your gwave., Thu 25 Feb 2010, 15:24, Reply)

I was flaming copper when I were a wee'un.
Now I'm in my twenties and I've faded browner and browner. Sad times.

I'm still ginger where it counts. I even have a line where my black belly hair turns into my ginger pubic hair.
( jme, Thu 25 Feb 2010, 15:15, Reply)

Do you have red hair? Do you know someone hit with the ginger stick?
No I don't. No I can't think of anyone.
(emadex thinks the world will end on, Thu 25 Feb 2010, 15:14, Reply)

Scotland is full of them
There are literally thousands of them up here. Many are completely normal. I have dated numerous female red-heads, and they were / are all lovely and in no way psychotically bad-tempered.

My current g/f is ginger, but dyes her hair blonde and shaves/waxes off all the other bits.

Red hair is due to high levels of pheomelanin and relatively low levels of eumelanin. It can also occur due to malnutrition. The red-hair gene is recessive so although many of my relations have bright red mops, I don't.

Red hair. Just not that interesting really.
( MisterPunch did it that way on, Thu 25 Feb 2010, 15:10, Reply)

Mini Ginge
I have brown hair, so I count that cununt the Pm amongst my kind, my ex. missuss has brown hair & our cute & cuddly three year old is a proper get in Ginge.

I worry about her impending school days, I mean what if she turns out not to be the bully?
(rustytruck, Thu 25 Feb 2010, 15:09, Reply)

Ginger girls
So much potential for instantaneous de-stiffening. Take this girl I met a few years ago (name omitted in case she reads this and batters me). She was 6'1" (hence the name omission), 17 years old, ferrari chassis, legs up to her arse (obviously) and 30G. Read that last bit again. Or, I can reproduce it in case you're one of those lazy people. 30G. And, more importantly than any of the above, she was up for it.

But there's no point avoiding it - the possibility of firecrotch is terrifying one. What if she disrobes and your eyes travel slowly down her body, admiring the magnificent cans, the slender waist, the attractive flare of the hips and WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?! It looks like Ronald McDonald's nose!

Imagine if she hadn't shaved her legs

Anyway, I didn't. Because my girlfriend would have killed me. And she wasn't so keen when she was sober. But mostly because she was ginger.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 25 Feb 2010, 15:03, 10 replies)