On a white van...
Please don't make any noise, pilonidal sinuses asleep inside.

Subtle, me?
(Lannes, Fri 4 May 2007, 12:05, Reply)

again... probbaly been noted here before
in a Burger King toilet..
Here in Sunny Sweden

"Please Flush Twice: It's a long way to McDonalds"
( Humpty Dumpty was Pushed Is unaware of having any limits., Fri 4 May 2007, 12:04, Reply)

in reply to menashem,
…we've also got our share of quasi-religious racist graffiti here too.

Right next to the Star pub, written by a particularly illiterate Orangeman, there's the top slogans "Uslter says no" and "Brits In"
( fr13day has everything required to be a Penguin, Fri 4 May 2007, 12:02, Reply)

On the back of a white van
"Please do not honk, illegal immigrants sleeping inside"
(grandeur, Fri 4 May 2007, 12:00, Reply)

Old one


An old e but a good e
( two_hats_shakir is going break dancing after his tea, Fri 4 May 2007, 11:58, Reply)

written on a wall next to toilet.
"mummy is stupid"

The 6-year old culprit was easily identified, found and spanked.

I never wrote on the walls at home after that incident. :o(
( Humpty Dumpty was Pushed Is unaware of having any limits., Fri 4 May 2007, 11:58, Reply)

sadly missed
In the much missed MacRorys pub in sunny Bradford there was a veritable cornucopia of toilet graffiti ranging from comedy penises (with dotted line spunk) to the more mundane crap poetry which some people feel compelled to write on toilet doors whilst curling one out.

My personal favourite bit was the bloke who had put up the (quite alarming) question, "My penis speaks 14 different languages but doesn’t like sex, what can I do?"

To which some wag had written underneath...

"Get it to present the Eurovision song contest"
( fr13day has everything required to be a Penguin, Fri 4 May 2007, 11:57, Reply)

Re: Chewy
Timrot,

"This chewing gum tastes horrible!" on the side of a condom machine .....

wants the reply

"Yeah, but what bubbles!"
(grandeur, Fri 4 May 2007, 11:57, Reply)

On a van
IF DRIVEN WELL

RING

999

STOLEN
(Countryslicker, Fri 4 May 2007, 11:56, Reply)

suzeefloozee - I met Your Mum Rang in the Wheatsheaf once
I was up visiting back up from Camden (where he had also been quite prolific at the time) and was quite surprised to see his distinctive tag all over Walsall too. I don't really remember much beyond that as I was pissed, but he seemed like a nice enough guy.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 4 May 2007, 11:52, Reply)

On an airstair at Heathrow
Made in Germany after someone had added the graffiti it looked like this and always made me smile when guarding this particular airstair.

Made in Germany 1
England 5
(CarlosTheJackal wants some tissues, Fri 4 May 2007, 11:51, Reply)

Various...
Toilets in a park:
'Some men come here to sit and think, others come to shit and stink'.

Back of dirty white van driving through Bristol:
'This car is white, with a hint of Bristol'

Toilet condom machine:
'For refund, insert baby'.
(jodytee, Fri 4 May 2007, 11:47, Reply)

HIlbre Island
Just off the wirral there are 3 islands, 'Hilbre island', 'middle eye' and 'little eye' we used to go fishing on little eye quite a bit which is about 40m² (rather small but didn't get ocvered by the tide). On the little bit of grass on the top, someone had taken a spade and carved out 'FUCK OFF' in massive letters. Presumably for the benefit of passing helecopters?
(dedlymonkey, Fri 4 May 2007, 11:45, Reply)

Walking past one of the numerous, incredibly depressing grey old Norwich Union buildings in Norwich city centre...


"Why do you do this every single day?"



Painted just outside the main entrance, so every poor soul entering that building would be asked the question I'm sure they ask themselves endlessly.
( The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 4 May 2007, 11:45, Reply)

BBC Television Centre Design Building toilets
My Vindaloo is Indaloo,

Cracked me up everytime I saw it.
(CarlosTheJackal wants some tissues, Fri 4 May 2007, 11:42, Reply)

Slightly un-PC
Saw this on a London-bound train after 7/7. On the posters saying what to do in the light of an emergency there is a little note that if you have to leave the train, take care on the tracks and watch out for approaching trains. However, some wag had scratched out "trains" and inserted "Muslims"....... obviously the political-correctness brigade would be up in arms but I had to allow myself a little smirk on a miserable day into work!
(angelica666, Fri 4 May 2007, 11:40, Reply)

an old favourite.


(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Fri 4 May 2007, 11:35, Reply)

River Browney
Driving on my way to Durham one day, I drove over the River Browney, Someone had scrawled an extra letter 'e' on the name sign,
I still giggle like a schoolgirl to this day... genius
(barnumdog, Fri 4 May 2007, 11:32, Reply)

Toilets of the Fab Cafe in Leeds
'Jamie Sidebottom is a brown-noser,
He has rubbish attributes'
(Moo Lefty Drinking From His Own Udders since, Fri 4 May 2007, 11:27, Reply)

My old school was too stingy to build new toilets
so they purchased a portable set from another school. There were some fantastically out of context messages on the walls about various teachers and girls they claimed were sluts, but one, albeit weak, piece always made me laugh:

"Led rock" I assumed this was a message about Led Zeppelin, but what I always found funny was the reply: "Actually, lead is a metal."
( Ra-Ra-Rasputin, Fri 4 May 2007, 11:27, Reply)

hand prints on wall
another post about hand prints on here reminds me. Not graffiti again, but a good story. I had to evict 3 blokes from a property. There were some very smudgy handprints quite high on the wall. We worked out that they must have been shagging standing on the bed. If the guys hands were dirty enought to leave manky marks on the wall, i hate to think about his 'other' personal hygene.

Bleh, fuckers owed me £1500 as well. I have spread the news that there all shit stabbers so there social 'builders' life should be over soon.
(i AM that masked man Book him Tonto, Fri 4 May 2007, 11:23, Reply)

Ballykeel 2, Ballymena, Northern Ireland
'Tags out'

The thought of people walking past and thinking "Christ! I'd better put the labels on my clothing on the outside, in case some Loyalists come and get me!' made me grin.

(For the uninformed, it's a misspelling of 'Taigs out', Taig being a slur for Catholic.)
(menashem, Fri 4 May 2007, 11:22, Reply)

Dog shite
Had a photo of thison my old phone, but I've not got it now. Anyway, I once saw on the pavement outside a house in Dundee, the following, written in large yellow chalk letters:

"Please don't let your dog shite here"
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 4 May 2007, 11:22, Reply)

Wouldn'tcha like to know, bro
A house near where my girlfriend lives has inexplicably purple walls at each end (normal brick on the other two sides. Some CBeebies-drive scrote has since added the following gangsta quip to one of the purple sides:

"Wot's da story in Balamory?"

I'm still not sure if I find it funny. Yeah, I do actually.
(titusyouclown, Fri 4 May 2007, 11:21, Reply)

Birmingham's finest graffiti
Edgbaston Abortion Clinic - you rape 'em, we scrape 'em.
( Prof. Piehead, Fri 4 May 2007, 11:21, Reply)

Someone e-mailed me this ages ago
A personal favorite and a touch of genius...


(Stanlington Jobsworthy Smythe Last skived off work on, Fri 4 May 2007, 11:21, Reply)

not so much as graffitti....
going thru the outback to a silver mine on the dusty roads (where you sod about and generally drive too fast for the dusty road), there were helpfull homemade signs everynow and then, just to let you know you were heading in the right direction.

One sign said. SHARP LEFT BEND AHEAD!

Just after the bend another sign

TOLD YOU!
(i AM that masked man Book him Tonto, Fri 4 May 2007, 11:18, Reply)

desperate gays
in teh gents in my local, someone had scrawled, in red letters,
FOR SEX CALL DAVE ON 07888 456322*

below this, someone has added,

THIS NUMBER DOESNT FUCKING WORK

and then, another addition,

I KNOW ,FUCKING PRICKTEASES

*not actual number as memory fails me
(UnstableDan Bah, Humbug! ooooh, humbugs, nyom!, Fri 4 May 2007, 11:17, Reply)

Ah, the East End...
My boyfriend went to Queen Mary University in East London. The best piece of pointless graffiti I saw there was walking past the arts building.

Someone had changed the sign to read 'Tarts'.

Why? Who knows.
(clumsyeloquence is a girl, Fri 4 May 2007, 11:12, Reply)

York car park art


Seen in a car park in York a few years ago. Thought it was really quite nifty.
(fatedsnowfox, Fri 4 May 2007, 11:12, Reply)